The Diabolikal Super-Kriminal (2007)

If you’re as fascinated as I am with Killing — or Kilink — after this week of films, good news. This Italian-American documentary has plenty of great info on how these fumetti neri comics became such a sensation.

Unlike American comics, Killing was a live action photo comic, featuring a skeletal costume designed by Carlo Rambaldi and acted by Rosario Borelli (The Cynic, the Rat and the Fist). When the Italians stopped making the comic, the Turkish film industry kept on making films and the adventures of this anti-hero continues in Argentina until the 1980’s.

Satanik mostly goes up against other criminals, using his ability to disguise himself and darts filled with a substance he calls the green death, a poison straight out of the Amazon which kills people nice and slow. The only person who knows who is he really is would be his lover Dana and he constantly battles Inspector Mercier. If you’re thinking, “Hmm, sounds like Diabolik or Kriminal,” you’re not far off.

The thing is, while Diabolik got a movie made by Mario Bava and Kriminal got two movies by Umbero Lenzi, Kilink got some down and dirty Turkish films that pit him against all manner of heroes.

This comes from Cool French Comics. https://www.coolfrenchcomics.com/satanik.htm

Italian movie fans will be happy to see plenty of their favorites show up here, like Renato Baldini (I Am Sartana, Your Angel of Death), John Benedy (Patrick Still Lives), Federico Boido (Planet of the Vampires), Gabriella Giorgelli (The Police Are Blundering In the Dark), Paul Muller (Barbed Wire Dolls) and even George Hilton!

I had a blast with this movie, but Turkish versions of Italian ripoff superheroes are pretty much the center of my Venn diagram, you know?

Currently, Mort Todd owns the rights to the character and has been making new adventures. You can check out the official site here.

Urban Legends: Ghosts of Goldfield (2007)

Sony sold the rights to the Urban Legend franchise and a fourth installment was planned, which would be this very film. Originally called Urban Legends: Goldfield Murders, the DVD sales of Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, Sony bought back the rights. That left this movie to be released as Ghosts of Goldfield.

Julie and her friends (which include Kellan Lutz, Emmett Cullen to those who enjoy Twilight) have set up their ghost chasing equipment in a hotel in the former mining town of Goldfield.

Supposedly, George Wingfield, the real-life owner of the hotel in that real-life town once had a relationship with a woman named Elisabeth Walker, who some claim was a prostitute and others a maid. When she became pregnant, he paid her to stay quiet but soon decided to get rid of her and her child. He chained her to a radiator and kept her fed until she died during childbirth, then threw the baby down a mine shaft. Visitors to the hotel report hearing her voice and the wails of her child.

Julie has a necklace that is a family heirloom which connects her to this tragedy. There’s also a bartender — hello, Roddy Piper — who for some reason is still alive decades later.

This film is, charitably, a mess. It would feel right at home in today’s shot for streaming found footage world of junk horror. Ed Winfield, its director, has one other credit: Oakland Raideretts Swimsuit Calendar Behind the Camera.

However, I am a completist, which means I had to watch it for you. My dream is that this keeps you from having to endure this poor entry in the franchise.

Saw IV (2007)

This is the last Saw film that Darren Lynn Bousman would direct. Where would they go after killing everyone off in the last one? This time, Jigsaw’s tapes have survived past his death as he tries to teach another lesson.

You should never do what I have done. That is, watch all eight Saw movies in one day.

This is the first Saw film written by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, who would also write the next three sequels. They never knew that there was a “Saw Bible” with rules they should have followed. The producers still liked their work, however.

Officer Daniel Rigg being put through a series of tests, as Jigsaw believes that he needs to let go of his obsession with trying to save people. Along the way, we run into people from the other films, like a returning Donnie Wahlberg as Detective Eric Matthews, Angus Macfadyen as Jeff, Shawnee Smith as Amanda and Bahar Soomekh as Lynn Denlon.

Yes, nearly all of them have been killed before, but this is a side story, I guess, so that we can keep the Saw story going. Obviously, there are those obsessed with these films and their minutiae and who am I to say that they can’t enjoy these films? To me, they all look, feel, sound and play out exactly to the same to the point that I can’t remember which is which.

This one does introduce Jigsaw’s ex-wife Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell), who lost their child when an addict hit her with a door, which drove him insane and ruined their marriage. You can also get to see him taken apart on a coroner’s table, so maybe don’t eat popcorn during this.

Saw III (2007)

In this installment of the Saw series, director Darren Lynn Bousman and screenwriter  Leigh Whannell would return to make another story by Whannell and James Wan.

This time, Jigsaw is trying to get a man named Jeff to let go of his need for revenge after he loses his son to a drunk driver. Meanwhile, Amanda Young (Shawnee Smith) kidnaps Dr. Lynn Denlon (Bahar Soomekh) who must keep Jigsaw alive for one last test.

Spoiler mode on, but this time Jigsaw is clearing up the loose ends, killing off Dina Meyer’s Detective Allison Kerry character while the opening reveals that Donnie Wahlberg’s Detective Eric Matthews has survived…well, for now at least.

The game here is that Jeff must resist the urge to kill the man who has taken everything from him while Amanda works to become the next version of Jigsaw once John Kramer (Tobin Bell) dies.

How gory is this movie? Well, several of the original posters were actually made with Tobin Bell’s blood in it, imitating the way that Kiss gave Marvel comics their blood to print the cover of Marvel Comics Super Special #1. Seriously, though, that trap with the pigs spraying blood everywhere? That was pretty rough.

Sukiyaki Uesutan Jango (2007)

It’s only fair, as the Italian Western ripped off Yojimbo as A Fistful of Dollars that the genre should migrate back east once more. The sukiyaki in the title refers to the dish of thinly sliced beef which is simmered at the table in a shallow pot in a mixture of vegetables, soy sauce, sugar and mirin. Often, the ingredients are dipped in raw, beaten eggs before being cooked. Western audiences probably know the word more from Kyu Sakamoto’s song “Ue o Muite Arukō,” which was retitled “Sukiyaki” for Western audiences, selling 13 million records worldwide. His follow-up, “China Nights (Shina no Yoru),” made it to #58 in the U.S. and was the last Japanese artist to chart here until Pink Lady’s 1979 song “Kiss In the Dark.” A Taste of Honey’s 1981 cover charted even higher, reached #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 and it’s been covered by everyone from Selena to The Ventures.

In the same way, this movie was renamed Sukiyaki Western Django for America.

I tell you all this because the word is a nonsense mishmash word to our gaijin ears and that may be the way this movie appears to many eyes, as the films of Takeshi Miike are often inscrutable. His fans — of which I count myself — like it that way.

Beyond Yojimbo and Django, this movie is inspired by the historical rivalry between the Genji and Heike clans, which ushered in the era of the samurai. Much like an Italian Western, a nameless gunman has come to town to help a prostitute get revenge on the warring gangs.

What can you say about a movie that has Quentin Tarantino as an ancient man in a wheelchair with Stuntman Mike’s duck on it and who refers to himself as an anime otaku? Or a movie that seems to exist in multiple timeframes, embracing both the samurai and the cowboy while a nearly all Japanese cast speaks mostly English? Where women become Kali, the goddess of death, in the midst of gunfights, so fearsome that they become actual anime? Or the fact that we finally get to see what was inside that coffin that Django was always dragging around?

Even Tarantino’s opening speech can be traced back to the epic The Tale of Heike: “The sound of the Gion Shouja bells echoes the impermanence of all things; the color of the sala flowers reveals the truth that the prosperous must decline. The proud do not endure, they are like a dream on a spring night; the mighty fall at last, they are as dust before the wind.”

And you have to be a real Corbucci otaku to make the cross that kills the final bad guy read Mercedes Zaro.

The cast boasts stars like Yûsuke Iseya (13 AssassinsCasshern) as the main villain Minamoto no Yoshitsune, Kaori Momoi (Memoirs of a Geisha) as the vengeance-seeking Ruriko and Hideaki Itō (Umizaru) as the gunman. Masanobu Ando (Battle Royale), Shun Oguri (who played Lupin in 2014’s Lupin the Third), Takaaki Ishibashi (Hiroshi Tanaka from Major League 2!), Renji Ishibashi (who was Zatoichi and Lone Wolf and Cub films, as well as Tetsuo: The Iron Man) and Yōji Tanaka (one of the Crazy 88’s in Kill Bill).

Three years later, Tarantino would make his own take on the Italian Western. This makes the perfect double feature to play along with it.

You can buy this on blu ray from MVD. The new collector’s edition has an extended cut of the film and a gorgeous looking 1080p transfer of the film

Los Cronocrímenes (2007)

This is the first full-length film by Nacho Vigalondo, whose work also appears in the anthologies The ABCs of Death, The Profane Exhibit and VHS: Viral. He’s since made his English-language debut with the Elijah Wood and Sasha Grey-starring Open Windows and was noticed by his films Colossal and Pooka!

He was inspired to make this movie by the comic 2000AD, citing the Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons story “Chronocops.”

Somewhere in Spain, a middle-aged man named Hector and his wife Clara are outside when he sees a young nude woman. After his wife leaves to go shopping, he investigates and finds the girl unconscious. Soon, a man in pink bandages stabs him. Hector runs to a building where a scientist warns him of the bandaged man and leads him to a machine that takes him backward one hour in time.

The scientist now refers to our hero as Hector 2, who runs away despite being warned that he must hide. After an accident, his face is damaged and he must wrap it up, turning the white gauze pink. He’s accidentally hit a woman, who is the nude woman he saw before, so he feels compelled to recreate the same scenario that he just saw. This compulsion will drive the story toward several conclusions and overlapping narratives.

I loved the look and feel of this movie, despite how confusion the plot can get. I also absolutely adored the use of Blondie’s “Picture This,” which the director claims sounds happy but is actually very sad. There was a rumor that Cronenberg was going to direct a remake of this with Tom Cruise in the lead, but that was more than a decade ago.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Ghost Rider (2007)

Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda!) owns the soul of Johnny Blaze, who gave it willingly to cure his father’s cancer. Of course, his dad dies the very next day in a stunt. Blaze becomes a famous stunt rider but the devil still owns his soul, no matter what he does. However — the illegitimate son of Satan named Blackheart and his quest for a thousand corrupt souls my give the stuntman an escape.

Ghost Rider was a character that was big in the 70’s and 90’s for Marvel. This film comes from Mark Steven Johnson, who also created Daredevil (and wrote the two Grumpy Old Men films).

I really like the casting of this film, with Wes Bentley as Blackheart, Eva Mendes as Johnny’s lost love Roxanne, Sam Elliot as a past Ghost Rider who is now the Caretaker, Donal Logue has a nice small role and even a young Rebel Wilson shows up.

Nicholas Cage is, of course, perfect for the role. He already had a Ghost Rider tattoo before the movie even started, as he’s such a comic book fan. After all, he took his stage name from Luke Cage and named his son Kal-El after Superman.

St. John In Exile (2007)

This is another odd part of Dan Curtis’ career — a filmed version of Dean Jones (That Darn Cat!The Love Bug) acting out the final days of John, the last living disciple of Jesus’ twelve apostles.

He speaks to the audience as if they can hear him and continually makes jokes throughout, but gives you the idea of what it would be like to actually hear Jesus’ story from someone who lived it.

Who knew that this week would take me from Dark Shadows to the realm of Kolchak, the classics like Oscar Wilde and Bram Stoker, and then to…the Bible? Ah well. It’s never boring writing about movies.

The reviews on Amazon are mixed by people absolutely loving this and hardcore fundamentalists who don’t like all the jokes. Then there are others who are upset that it’s basically a filmed stage play. Me? I was entertained, as I rarely watch anything like this.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime and Tubi.

Strange Nature: Headless Horseman (2007)

Originally airing on SyFy back when it was still Sci-Fi, way back on October 27, 2007, Headless Horseman is all about the famous Washington Irving story, which was true and was much less scary than what actually happened.

It’s directed by Anthony C. Ferrante, who would go on to create Sharknado.

On their way to a party, seven teens stumble upon the town of Wormwood Ridge, whose townsfolk are celebrating a ceremony honoring the Headless Horseman. Turns out that the town wants their skulls, to quote the Misfits.

Nearly everyone loses their head in this one, quite literally. You know, if I’ve learned anything, if you end up in a small town and it feels weird, just leave before you die.

Richard Moll shows up. Seriously, that dude is in so many of my favorite weird 1980’s movies, like EvilspeakNight Train to Terror, House and The Sword and the Sorcerer.

So yeah. Don’t go in expecting Sleepy Hollow and just aim to have some fun and you’ll be just fine.

Mill Creek Entertainment’s Savage Nature set has this movie and three other films all about the evil side of Mother Nature. You also get a code for all four films on their MovieSPREE service. Want to see it for yourself? Then grab a copy right here.

You can also watch this on Amazon Prime.

DISCLAIMER: This movie was sent to us by Mill Creek Entertainment.

Pray (2007)

About the Author: Paul Andolina is one of my favorite people to talk movies with. If you like his stuff, check out his sites Wrestling with Film and Is the Dad Alive?

I recently finished reading a book called Celluloid Sermons: The Emergence of the Christian Film Industry, 1930-1986. Christian films have been a staple in my life since a very young age but I had no clue how it even started. I would have never guessed it started in 1927 and how it went from being distributed church to church on 16mm to big screens and DTV titles. Ever since starting the book I had been on the hunt for interesting and odd Christian films and that is how I stumbled upon Pray. I would like to preface that I’m coming at this film a little bit different than most of my reviews as I’m looking at not only the entertainment value of the film but also what the film is saying theologically. I was a religion major in college and still do read quite a bit about theology, I’m a Lutheran so many of my comments will be coming from that doctrinal standard.about as theologically sound as the film, which is not very good.

 

Pray is a 2007 Christian thriller supposedly based on a true story that involves a young lady being stalked by an unknown suspect in a mall after closing time. A lot of the stuff I had read about the film talked about it being a Halloween rip-off but apart from a few references to the film, like the woman who goes missing being named Laurie Curtis a portmanteau of the protagonist’s name from Halloween and the name of the actress who portrays her, and the antagonist being credited as the shape in the credits, it’s a different animal than Halloween.

The movie is about miracles and how God uses harrowing situations to call folks to him. This is a prevalent belief in popular Christianity, that God uses situations to get people’s attention instead of Holy Scripture being sufficient to turn men’s hearts to Christ. It’s all about the experience, you know? How boring would it be if someone’s testimony was simply I went to church and heard the sermon with the Word properly preached and I started to see my sin and longed for the sweetness of the Gospel: you gotta have scary killers stalking people and miracles to move folks into conversion ya dig, but I digress apart from some pretty crappy theology, I guess the point of the movie is to entertain you.

It is a mildly entertaining film but I certainly wouldn’t be showing it to people who are not Christians in an attempt to “save” them as they’re more than likely going to laugh in your face after you show them this. The big twist of the film is that there is no way this young lady should have survived and it was an actual miracle that protected her from the killer. I’m not one of those folks who believes miracles are impossible but I think they are far and few between since Scripture is revelatory and sufficient for the conversion of mankind.

The acting is a bit amateur but not once during the movie did I feel the characters were acting odd, most of the cast is teenagers, and they act about how I expect kids of their ilk would. This movie isn’t going to win any awards for being a great horror flick but it’s a nice little thriller that does not feature nudity, crassness, or much violence which may be what someone who buys this film is looking for. Most other viewers, especially horror fans will find little in the way of this being worth their time.

If you are a sucker for low budget films this one may be up your alley, it went on to not only spawn two sequels but a Pray 2.5 as well that combines this film and the 2nd with some added material. I didn’t manage to pick up a copy of it 2.5 but I do have both Pray 2: The Woods and Pray 3D: The Storm that I will cover as well. The DVDs also include Bible Studies on the discs themselves but they’re probably about as theologically sound as the film, which is not very good.