Cabot Cove residents gather for a funeral, only to be shocked by the discovery that the coffin contains the wrong body. The mystery deepens: where is Henry Veron, who is the dead mystery man, and was it murder?

Season 2, Episode 18: If a Body Meet a Body (March 9, 1986)

Jessica is attending the funeral of Henry Vernon when an ex-lover claims he was murdered.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Sheriff Amos Tupper (Tom Bosley) is back. Is this the time he gets some JBP? Or will Dr. Seth Hazlitt (William Windom)?

Silas Pike is played by Robert Donner, the caddy from Leslie Nielsen’s Stupid Little Golf Video.

Agnes Shipley plays Anne Jeffreys. She was Tess Truehart in the original Dick Tracy.

Audrey Landers, who was Afrton Cooper on Dallas, is Phyllis Walter.

Christy Olson is played by Lori Lethin. She was in Bloody Birthday.

Monte Markham, who directed Neon City, plays Ned Olson.

Rex Smith, TV’s Street Hawk, is Stew Bennett.

Carrie Snodgrass (Murphy’s Law) is Connie Vernon.

Richard Stahl plays Rev. Matthews.

This is the last role of Robert Sterling, who plays Ben Shipley.

Smaller roles are played by Joe Maross as the dead Henry Vernon, Scott Palmer as a deputy, and the townspeople are played by Ellaraino (whose real name is Ella Raino Edwards), Sonia Kara, Timothy Jecko, George Golden, Dorothy Hack and Walter Smith.

What happens?

Henry’s mistress, Phyllis, has come to the funeral and claims that his wife, Connie, killed him. Sheriff Amos tries to settle her down; she shoves him, and the coffin falls, revealing… not Henry. Who can solve this? Amos wants to do it, but we all know JB will handle it. I mean, he should worry more about trying to solve how to finally get her bra off.

Henry’s old partner, Ned, is a mess. Phyliss comes to Jessica’s late at night to ask for help, and Jessica just wants to write her book. But the biggest shock comes when it’s revealed that Henry Vernon is still alive. So who is the John Doe in his coffin?

Maybe Jessica has some problems now that Connie is trying to get Amos to stay over to watch a John Wayne movie, which is a euphemism I’m going to start using for dry rub sex. And then Henry Vernon’s body shows up again.

Connie claims that her husband picked up a hitchhiker who had a heart attack in the backseat and came up with the plan to collect the insurance money. Meanwhile, Ned’s new business is screwed up already, which means an angry mob has gathered. Whew, Cabot Cove is a rough spot.

Who did it?

Sweet, sweet Connie a doin’ her act, as Grand Funk Railroad sang.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Walter Grauman and written by Steve Stoliar.

Does Jessica get some?

No. I bet she’s happy Connie went to jail, because she needs two dicks in a glass, Sheriff Lobo and Dr. Seth.

Was it any good?

Of course. As you may know, I’m obsessed with how JB is surrounded constantly by friends who die.

Any trivia?

The needlepoint being worked on by Connie is the same one featured in the Columbo episode “The Conspirators” by Jeanette Nolan.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Dr. Seth Hazlitt: Amos, someday you’re gonna break an ankle jumping to a conclusion.

What’s next?

Jessica must find out the truth when the ruthless owner of a periodical is murdered.

Jessica finds herself in a tough spot when one of the auctioneers of a diary is murdered, and she has to rely on Harry McGraw to help her out.

Season 2, Episode 17: One Good Bid Deserves a Murder (February 23, 1986)

At the request of Richard Bennett, a friend and a popular actor, Jessica Fletcher goes to an auction to bid for the diary of a dead woman whose journal was stolen on the night of her death.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Dr. Sylvia Dunn is Karen Black, which makes this my favorite episode of the show.

Lt. Casey is played by Ray Girardin.

Sheila Saxon is Nancy Lee Grahn, who has been on General Hospital and Santa Barbara.

Albert Cromwell is played by Robert Gray.

Hurd Hatfield, who was Dorian Gray in the 1945 movie, is William Readford.

Edward Mulhare from Knight Rider! He’s Richard Bennett.

Harry McGraw is back and he’s always Jerry Orbach.

Robert Rhine plays Cotter Smith.

Sal Domino is played by Vic Tayback! Yes!

Background roles are played by Alan Craig, Lyle Howry, Paul King, George Sasaki, Nico Stevens, Leland Sun, Manny Weltman, Marvin Newman, Jean Vander Pul (the voice of Wilma Flintstone!), Howard Murohy, Allysia Sneed, Sterling Swanson, David Ankrum and Rebecca Street.

What happens?

Sorry to all the Edward Mulhare fans, but he’s soon killed because of the diary of Evangeline, the Marilyn Monroe of JB Fletcher’s universe. Who else wanted the diary? Everyone. Producer Sheila Saxon and director Saul Domino, who want to make a sleazy movie I would totally watch. Doctor Sylvia Dunn, Evangeline’s psychiatrist, must have some secrets. Or is it Robert Rhine, a lawyer trying to keep the diary quiet for his client?

Harry McGraw keeps Jessica out of jail, seeing as how her client just fell dead out of a wardrobe. Harry also has a black eye from allergies. She takes him back to her hotel to put the medicine on for him, which we all know is just a story, so that I have a section to fill out about Harry McGraw Dogging Jessica later. But no, someone has broken in and torn the room up more than Harry wants to rip up that Cabot Cove Caboose, but luckily, she has hidden the diary in a chess set she bought for dick in glass Seth back home.

When Jessica goes back to the auction house, the owner is dead, and she gets caught standing over the body. She asks the cops why they think she would want to kill the man, and he answers as any law enforcement should: “Beats me, Mrs Fletcher, but every time I find a dead body, you seem to be in the neighborhood.”

Anyways, between Harry dating the producer, him sneaking out with the diary and multiple suspects, this episode is filled with many a twist, many a turn.

Who did it?

Albert Cromwell, who was Evangeline’s first boyfriend.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by J. Miyoko Hensley and Steven Hensley, who wrote Can You Feel Me Dancing? together.

Does Jessica get some?

No. I’d like to think that she and Harry have some September/September coupling, followed by a dinner at a diner, then maybe a furtive handjob in his parked car while she thinks about her dead husband. I’m a romantic.

Was it any good?

It has a scene where Karen Black goes nuts. It’s great.

Any trivia?

Angela Lansbury and Hurd Hatfield were co-stars in The Picture of Dorian Gray and became lifelong friends. She introduced him to Ireland and Hatfield lived in County Cork from the early 1970s.

Jessica spent $300 on that chess set, which is like $900 today. She must want Seth more than we know.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Harry McGraw: I must be nuts.

Jessica Fletcher: Harry, I know that was very difficult for you. But now that you’ve put that diary to rest, honestly, don’t you feel better?

Harry McGraw: Honestly? Jessica, you must be nuts.

What’s next?

Cabot Cove residents gather for a funeral and discover the coffin contains the wrong body.

Jessica must find the murderer of her close friend whose will is in contention between family members and a popular evangelist.

Season 2, Episode 16: Murder In the Electric Cathedral (February 16, 1986)

Jessica’s old high school teacher, Carrie McKittrick (Mildred Natwick), wants to leave all of her money to Reverend Willie John Fargo (Steve Forrest) and Sister Ruth Fargo (Judy Geeson). Her family flips out, and Jessica gets involved.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Dr. Mark Bannon is played by Jack Bannon. His nurse, Sue Beth? That’s Barbi Benton!

Frank Bonner from WKRP In Cincinnat, i Earl Fargo.

Sam McKittrick, the grandson of Carrie, is Art Hindle (!), while her daughter-in-law Alice is Jeannie Wilson from Simon & Simon, and her stepson Harvey is Richard Herd.

DA Fred Whittaker is, of course, Dick Van Patten.

In smaller roles, Tammy Lee is played by Jill Hill, the director is Donald Craig, the driver is Owen Bush, Ethel is Belinda Beatty, Don Brodie plays a neighbor and Huck Liggett, Pat Poole, David Bowman, Bob Lee, Toni Lamond, Paul Bradley, Peter Eastman, Richard Patrick, Leoda Richards and Arthur Tovey are background characters.

What happens?

Right after the fight with the family, Carrie is hospitalized and dies. But Jessica finds a suspicious syringe, and yes, I know I have this theory that Mrs. Fletcher is the killer, but let’s move on.

As good as Carrie was to her — inspiring JB to be an author and teacher — Carrie’s son is horrible, abusing his wife. Then again, his father is just her stepson. It’s not her DNA, nature vs, nurture, all that.

Let’s discuss Willie John, who may start like your typical televangelist but is actually a good person who wants to use the money for good. A genuine surprise.

So if all these people — other than the preacher — want the money, who really would kill for it?

Who did it?

Ruth, the preacher’s wife! She was totally Tammy Faye, loving the lifestyle but sick of being a preacher’s wife. Yes, she was ignoring the sex she wanted to have. The scandal of a divorce would destroy her life, so she tried to blame it on her husband. As for Carrie’s family, they get to spend her money, but only if it goes to charity.

Who made it?

Another episode directed by the best TV movie director of all time, John Llewellyn Moxey. It was written by Dick Nelson.

Does Jessica get some?

No. I’m starting to rethink this question, as well as the next one: Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

Was it any good?

Yes, other than being sexless for JB!

Any trivia?

Take a look at the will. It’s actually a page from a Jessica Fletcher novel!

Pat Poole and Dick Van Patten were married at the time of this episode.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Rev. Willie John Fargo: I’ve decided to go away for a while… to Africa, Asia, South America, any place the simple folks need me.

Jessica Fletcher: Well, I wish you luck, Willie John, and I hope that you find what you’re looking for.

Rev. Willie John Fargo: Oh, I will, Miss Jessica. I will, indeed, the good Lord willing.

What’s next?

Jessica finds herself in a tough spot when one of the auctioneers of a diary is murdered, and she has to rely on Harry McGraw to help her out.

The justice system is tested when a group of angry rednecks form a lynch party and plan to hang a murder suspect.

Season 2, Episode 15: Powder Keg (February 9, 1986)

The second episode, set in Roper County (also in “It’s a Dog’s Life“), features Jessica and Ames Caulfield (Craig Stevens, Peter Gunn!) traveling down South to attend a writer’s convention. Coincidence strands them at a hotel owned by an old lover of Ames, Cassie Burns (Mariclare Costello, Emily from Let’s Scare Jessica to Death). She runs the place along with her son Matthew (Brian Lane Green). But hey…let’s get into it.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Other than the cast above, that is!

Frank Kelso is played by Pat Corley, who also was Sheriff Joe Corley in Kiss My Grits.

Linda Bonner is played by Cindy Fisher.

Jackie Earle Haley! He’s Billy Willetts.

Sheriff Claudell Cox, the law here, is Dorian Harewood, Shredder on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.

Peter Fargo is played by John Dennis Johnston.

Charlie Demsey is Bill McKinney, who was in Deliverance, First Blood and Back to the Future III.

Jeff Osterage is in the role of Ed Bonner.

The elder Bonner is Stuart Whitman in one of his four appearances on the show.

Larry Wilcox is also in the four-timers club. He’s Andy Crane in this.

Smaller roles include W.K. Stratton as Deputy Morgan, John Alvin as Dr. Frazier, Debra Dusay as a desk clerk, Dave Adams as a barfly, Hartley Silver as a man, Muriel Minot as a woman, Renna Bartlett as a literary conference attendee and Bud Hazlett and Helen Kelly as background characters.

What happens?

Ames goes to watch Matthew play in a band at a bar that has a Confederate flag on the stage. Soon, Linda’s brother Ed and his sons Andy and Billy show up looking for him. And Matthew, who turns out not to be her son but is a lover, is involved.

As you guessed, Ed is dead in the morning, Matt is suspected, and Ames wants JB to help him. Maybe Ed was a drug dealer. Who can say? Well, everyone, because no one seems to like him even after he just died.

Jessica gets a gun pulled on her by a bartender when she’s snooping around. She knows more about guns than he does, and as you can imagine, this gets him rock hard. JB is told to leave people alone, and now look, she’s blue ballsing an NRA member.

But no matter who you think it is, as the townspeople all come to jail to kill Matthew, the surprise is…

Who did it?

The bartender. Yes, Frank Kelso caught his wife pounding it out with Ed, so he killed her and got blackmailed by Ed. Finally, he decided to shoot him with the very gun Jessica saw him pull on her.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by the best TV movie director of all time, John Llewellyn Moxey, and written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica get some?

No, but Ames had it on his mind before his ex cock blocked him.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

I wish.

Was it any good?

Yes, this is the best kind of episode, where JB is a fish out of water, wins everyone over and solves the case.

Any trivia?

Jeff Osterage was also in season 1’s “Funeral at Fifty-Mile.”

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: Oh, Ames, I’m so grateful to you for inviting me to loll around your estate for a few days. You know, that writer’s conference really wore me out.

Prof. Ames Caulfield: Nonsense. You loved it. And they loved you, he admitted enviously.

What’s next?

Art Hindle! Barbi Benton! Frank Bonner! Jessica must find the murderer of her close friend, whose will is in contention between the family and a popular evangelist.

Poisoned strawberry preserves served at the Joshua Peabody Inn result in murder.

Season 2, Episode 14: Keep the Home Fries Burning (January 19, 1986)

Are JB, Sheriff Tupper and Dr. Hazlitt in a triad relationship? No, they’re just going to dinner at the Joshua Peabody Inn, where several people get food poisoning and one lady dies. Of course, Jessica thinks it’s murder.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Sharon Acker (Happy Birthday to Me) plays Wilhelmina Fraser.

Norman Alden is Mercer Hawthorne.

Orson Bean plays Ebeneezer McEnery

Ted Stully is Gary Crosby, the son of Bing.

His wife, Helen, is played by Rosanna Huffman.

Anne Lloyd Francis (Forbidden Planet) plays Margo Perry.

William Lucking plays Bo Dixon.

John McCook (The Bold and the Beautiful) is Harrison Fraser III.

Cornelia Montique is played by Donna Pescow (Saturday Night Fever).

Chef Alan Dupree is played by Henry Polic II.

Alan Young (The Time Machine) plays Floyd Nelson.

In smaller roles, Marcia Rodd is Betty Fiddler, John Donovan is an assistant, Patricia Wilson is a cashier, Leonard O. Turner plays Mr. O’Connor, Dion Williams is Jimmy O’Connor, Michael McCabe is an orderly, Dale Raoul is a nurse, Alxander Folk is a cook, W. Earl Brown is a chef, Dan Cotter and Joel Shultz are diners, William B. Ward Hr. is a prist and To Willett is a doctor.

Oh yeah! Sheriff Amos is played by Tom Bosley, and Dr. Seth is portrayed by William Windom.

What happens?

Sheriff Amos is quite excited that he now has another place to eat, aside from Dixon’s, and that the Joshua Peabody Inn is open. Even his favorite waitress, Cornelia, has started to work there. And it’s a Revolutionary War-themed joint! Oh man! What do they serve, pepperpot stew?

As our three friends — Seth, Am, Os, and JB — have breakfast, they notice a group of wealthy ladies named Wilhelmina and Betty eating nearby. That’s when they all learn that the fruit preserves are tainted. And then Betty dies.

Margo Perry of the Maine Health Department arrives in town to investigate the case, and Amos becomes panicked. Not because he has to work with her, but because he’s probably eaten a little bit of everything for breakfast, and surely he’s going to get sick soon.

Wilhelmina’s husband, Harrison, comes to town, and when she tells him that Betty is dead, he takes it way worse than you’d imagine, but then, you know, one figures that he’s been sleeping with Betty.

There are so many red herrings, and yet people who eat at this place together often hate each other.

Who did it?

Wilhamena. It’s pretty simple. The most basic of all reasons: when your best friend bangs out your husband, you need to feed her poisoned jelly.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Peter Crane (The Initiation) and Philip Gerson.

Does Jessica get some?

No, despite my weird wish for Seth and Amos to make her airtight.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

Nope. I’m getting upset.

Was it any good?

It’s fine. The Cabot Cove episodes are usually more humorous, and everything gets serious when Jessica goes on the road.

Any trivia?

You may recognize the restaurant and parking lot set from The Rockford Files.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Sheriff Amos Tupper: Well, you know what they say. As Sheriff Tupper goes, so goes Cabot Cove.

Dr. Seth Hazlitt: Who says that?

Sheriff Amos Tupper: Everybody, when it comes to food.

Jessica Fletcher: I must be traveling in the wrong circles. I don’t recall hearing that.

What’s next?

The justice system is tested when a group of angry rednecks form a lynch party and plan to hang a murder suspect. Wow, what a cast — Larry Wilcox, Jackie Earle Haley and Stuart Whitman!

It’s a bad day for the jurors when Jessica is the foreperson of the jury hearing the case of a man claiming self-defense in the death of an enraged husband.

Season 2, Episode 13: Trial by Error (January 12, 1986)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

JB is the foreperson of a jury trying Mark Lee Reynolds for the murder of Cliff Anderson. The case revolves around claims of self-defense, as Reynolds says that he killed Anderson in a moment of rage after being attacked. However, Jessica suspects that the truth is more complicated.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Prosecutor Tom Casselli is David Ackroyd (The Dark Secret of Harvest Home, Exo-Man).

Suspect Mark Lee Reynolds is Tony Bill, who is also a director.

Victim Cliff Anderson is played by Michael Swan.

Defense Attorney Oscar Ramsey is Macdonald Carey from The Damned and Dr. Tom Horton on Days of Our Lives.

Defense Attorney Max Flynn is Jon Cypher. He was Man-at-Arms in Masters of the Universe.

Virginia Capers plays Margo Webster.

Doran Clark from The Warriors is Becky Anderson.

Gene Evens plays Otto Fry.

Josh Corben is Tom Ewell from The Seven Year Itch.

Lee Callahan is Gary Frank from Family.

Arlene Golonka from Hang ‘Em High plays Sally Conover

Wow! Alan Hale Jr., the Skipper, is in this as Fenton Harris.

Sally Conover is played by Lenore Kasdorf, Rico’s mom in Starship Troopers.

Vicki Lawrence, better known as Mama, plays Jackie MacKay.

Allan Miller plays Frank Lord.

Thornton Bentley is Brock Peters.

Richard Sanders from WKRP In Cincinnati plays Gerald Richards.

Gregory Walcott (Plan 9 from Outer Space) is Willie Patchecki.

Norman Burton is Drew Narramore.

James Hampton is Jerry Blevins.

Walter Mathews is Judge Philo Walker.

John Detweiler is played by John Davis Chandler, Bleak from Adventures In Babysitting.

Warren J. Kemmerling from The Dark plays Dr. Maurice Webster.

In minor roles, Robert Caspar plays Arnold Jasper, Javier Grajeda is a paramedic, Liane Lander portrays Stephanie Reynolds, R.J. Adams is Victor Assmussen, and trial spectators include Robert Buckingham, Larry Carr, Paul LeClair, Mark Rodney, Walter Smith, Steve Wagner, and Judith Woodbury. At the same time, Lemuel Perry is a deputy sheriff.

What happens?

Jessica is starring in her own 12 Angry Men as she’s the foreperson for a trial where Mark Lee Reynolds kills Cliff Anderson with a poker after being caught in bed with the man’s wife, Stephanie. Everybody, it seems, wants to declare the case closed, but you know how Jessica is. She wonders why Mark came to be in the bed of Stephanie Anderson moments after his wife was nearly killed in a car accident.

Everyone just wants to vote, and Jessica says, “Don’t you think that we should examine the evidence first?”

Oh Jessica.

Between the jury fighting and flashbacks of what happened, this episode peels back the layers and reveals who did what to whom. And of course, we know JB will solve it.

Who did it?

Mr. Reynolds faked a car accident to kill his wife so he could keep her money and still be with Mrs. Anderson, his lover. But when Mr. Anderson found out, he came home and wanted to kill both of them. Mrs. Anderson is the one who killed him. Double murder!

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by Paul Savage and Scott Shephard.

Does Jessica get some?

No. She’s sequestered. Too bad, she and The Skipper are a dream match.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

Nope. Come on!

Was it any good?

Yes, it’s a very different type of episode.

Any trivia?

Nearly everyone in this episode would be back for multiple appearances as different characters.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Mark Lee Reynolds: How can I thank you for your verdict?

Jessica Fletcher: There’s no need. The satisfaction is knowing that the right thing has been done.

Mark Lee Reynolds: Nevertheless, I just want you to know I’ll never forget you.

Jessica Fletcher: Oh, yes. I’m pretty sure you will.

What’s next?

Poisoned strawberry preserves served at the Joshua Peabody Inn result in murder!

A former student of Jessica’s becomes involved in a love triangle that ends in murder.

Season 2, Episode 12: Murder by Appointment Only (January 5, 1986)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Everyone Jessica knows gets killed. You know how it goes. This time, a former student finds love, drama and death. Does Grady show up? No! Not Grady!

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Lila Lee Amberson is Jayne Meadows, Billy Crystal’s mom in City Slickers. She’s the older sister of Audrey Meadows.

Fiona Keeler is Christine Belford, who was in Christine.

Norman Amberson? Robert Culp! Am I going to make the joke about his dick again? Yes.

Roger Adiano is played by Robert Desiderio.

Elizabeth Gordon is Ann Dusenberry from Jaws 2.

Herb Edelman — Stan Zbornak — is Lieutenant Varick!

Grady Fletcher is in this. Yes, he’s played by Michael Horton again.

Leigh McCloskey from Inferno! He’s Todd Amberson.

Millie Perkins — yes, Anne Frank — is Glenda Vandevere. She was also in The Witch Who Came from the Sea.

In minor roles, Robert Stoneman is a photographer, Fred Ponzlov is Mr. Hillsdale, Catherine Battistone and Cathy McAuley are actresses, and Sam Nickens plays a guest.

What happens?

While in New York City, Jessica runs into an old student, Elizabeth Gordon, who has become the fiancée of Lila Lee cosmetics tycoon Norman Amberson. As good as her life sounds, she reveals that it is pretty rough. So when she shows up dead — even students of Jessica aren’t safe from her death energy, which is like Dim Mak, the punch of death — JB promises to get justice.

At one point, Lila Lee even shows up and thinks that Cabbot Cove is Cabbage Cove, so you can understand why Jessica feels weird about her.

Jessica’s student was a sex worker before she hooked up with the rich guy. But let’s not shame. Elizabeth’s portrait is painted with lipstick after her death, a lipstick whose color — Tangerine Twist — has been taken out of the catalogue. Somehow, though, Elizabeth was literally a hooker with a heart of gold and gave most of the money she made to charity.

But what if she starts seeing an old client? Will all the rumors of her being a gold digger cause her death? I mean, we’re watching Murder, She Wrote.

Who did it?

Norman, who was jealous and worried about his wife’s past.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Arthur Allan Seidelman and written by TV vet Jerry Ross.

Does Jessica get some?

No. Come on!

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

She does, dressing up like she’s a make-up saleswoman for Lila Lee!

Was it any good?

Yeah.

Any trivia?

Herb Edleman would come back as Lieutenant Artie Gelber.

Christine Belford appeared in four episodes as different characters. When she was a kid, she lived at the Amityville Horror house from ages 11-16. Then, her parents sold it to the DeFoes.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Lila Lee Amberson: Mrs. Fletcher! You should have told me you weren’t a Lila Lee lady. I just assumed you were one of us because you ARE absolutely perfect. My dear, it gives me great pleasure to offer you the entire Lila Lee franchise for all of Cabbage Cove.

What’s next?

It’s a bad day for the jury when Jessica is the foreperson hearing the case of a man claiming self-defense in the death of an enraged husband.