Directed by Alex Cheung, this features Eden (James Yi Lui), a private eye, and Li Tien Zhen (Cherie Chung) meeting when they both decide to jump in front of a train. He’s depressed at where life has taken him, and she’s been kidnapped by a UFO and lost her virginity, which ruins her marriage to Mr. Kwok (David Lo). And then, it becomes a series of sketches, including car crashes and a scene that is totally Marilyn in The Seven Year Itch.

Wuxia and martial arts weren’t selling, so Shaw Brothers was looking for something to replace those types of movies, so they were co-producing movies like Inseminoid and Blade Runner. This is a bunch of things thrown in a pot: a werewolf, a food fight, Close Encounters, music videos, some aliens, romance, a Star Wars parody, comedy and martial arts. 

It doesn’t all work, but when the hero pulls his shirt open to reveal the Shaw Brothers logo, I laughed.

The Arrow Video release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, features a high-definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. It has commentary by martial arts cinema expert Frank Djeng, an interview with director/co-writer Alex Cheung and a newly filmed appreciation by film scholar Victor Fan. You can get this set from MVD.

A black magic sorcerer is just trying to dig up some bones for his latest spell when he’s chased by a group of angry citizens, right into the cab of our hero, Chau. He lives through getting hit by the car, but tells the cab driver that he’s about to go through some bad luck.

And just like that, Chau’s wife starts sleeping with a gambler who really doesn’t care about her, even leaving her in a bad part of town where she’s assaulted and killed, falling out a window to her death, her spirit calling to Chau via his CB radio.

That’s when Chau decides that it’s time to find that black magic dude and get some horrible, horrible revenge.

The spell that ensues is so powerful, it blows the lid off Chau’s wife Irene’s coffin. There’s also corpse sex and a monster baby sent to destroy the two villains who dared to ruin Chau’s life. And he also learns that the more magic he uses, the more his body pays the price.

Look, a ghost has sex with a reanimated corpse over a black magic altar, a tentacled demon baby runs around, and a toilet blows up real good. It’s not the best movie you’ve ever seen, but it may be the goopiest, the kind of film that tells The Thing, “Oh yeah? Hold my San Miguel.”

The Arrow Video release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, has a high definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. It has commentary by critic James Mudge. You can get this set from MVD.

The first film by Lung Yi-sheng, this is the tale of Yuan Fei, the Flying Monkey (Chin Siu-ho), who takes on the challenge of finding a weapon that can defeat the Demon Lute, a weapon made from dinosaur muscles. In his journey, he meets swordswoman Feng Ling, the Rainbow Sword (Kara Wai), the drunken Old Naughty and his scissors, the Woodcutter and his son Doraemon, called that because he carries around a Doraemon doll.

They will battle  The Long Limb Evil, a demon who has an arm that can keep growing; the One Eyed Dragon, who has a crazy spider eyepatch; Red-Haired Devil, who can attack with his afro and the demonic lute itself, which becomes a transparent hand with six fingers that keeps grabbing for our heroes before they use the only weapon can stop it, a bow that was jammed into the stone wall of a cave.

There’s a dog-pulled chariot, a rainbow sword, gigantic axes, and wirework fights made for kids, all set to 80s guitar-driven music. There are some people online who have given this poor reviews, and what kind of heartless creep do you have to be to watch something so perfect and judge it that way?

The Arrow Video release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, has a high definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. It has commentary by martial arts cinema expert Frank Djeng. You can get this set from MVD.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Doctor Detroit was on USA Up All Night on January 1, 1994; July 8, 1995; August 10, 1996.

I have no idea why my parents let me watch this on HBO, but I thought Doctor Detroit was a pirate. No idea what a pimp was.

Well, a pimp named Smooth Walker (Howard Hesseman) needs to get out of town, as Mom (Kate Murtaugh) has lost her patience with him. He invents a new pimp, Doctor Detroit and convinces Professor Clifford Skridlow (Dan Aykroyd) to take up this character. A night with all of Smooth’s girls — Monica (Donna Dixon), Jasmine (Lydia Lei), Karen (Fran Drescher) and Thelma (Lynn Whitfield) — convinces him to take the role, despite his needing to focus on getting a new endowment from wealthy CEO Harmon Rauseh (Andrew Duggan).

Directed by Michael Pressman (The Great Texas Dynamite Chase, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze) and written by Bruce Jay Friedman (Stir Crazy), Carl Gottlieb (Jaws) and Robert Boris (who directed Steele Justice), this movie is good because of the efforts of Akyroyd, in his first movie — and first solo lead — since the death of John Belushi. There’s also a James Brown cameo and the promise of a sequel that never got made, Doctor Detroit II: The Wrath of Mom.

Donna Dixon and Akyroyd married soon after making this.

EDITOR’S NOTE: D.C. Cab was on USA Up All Night on May 30, 1992; January 8, 1994; May 14, 1995; May 4, 1996; November 16, 1997. 

D.C. Cab was one of the first videos I ever rented from Prime Time Video as a kid, and it’s got a great cast, which is probably what got me to grab it. Beyond Mr. T., you have Max Gail from Barney Miller as the owner of the cab company, Adam Baldwin as the son of his best friend who comes to help, Charlie Barnett (who actually won the SNL job over Eddie Murphy but was too nervous to come back for a follow-up; he sadly died of AIDS at the age of 41), Marsha Warfield from Night Court, a pre-Politically Incorrect Bill Maher, Gary Busey (speaking of politically incorrect, little to none of his dialogue could be in a movie made today), DeWayne Jessie (who literally became his Otis Day character and toured with that name), Paul Rodriguez, Whitman Mayo (Grady from Sanford and Son), the Barbarian Brothers (making this one of two Barbarian Brothers movies that Kino Lorber releases this month), Bob Zmuda,  Bloodsport director Newt Arnold, Jill Schoelen (the crush of all teen crushes), Timothy Carey as a maniac who calls himself the Angel of Death and Irene Cara as herself.

It’s directed by Joel Schumacher, who has either made movies that are remembered for the right reasons, like The Lost Boys, or those that are remembered for the wrong reasons, like Batman and Robin.

This is the ultimate hijinks ensue movie, as each character gets a moment and a little story of their own. It’s not a great movie, but it’s certainly a fun one, which sometimes is even better. The story is as simple as the boys of D.C. Cab against the city government and the Emerald Cab Company. Seriously, that’s pretty much as deep as it gets, but these are the kind of movies that you find yourself watching every time they come on cable, right? Do they still come on cable?

I’m happy to have this movie in my collection. It’s a great reminder of the time when you could find something like this movie on the rental shelves.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Firepower was on the CBS Late Movie on March 9, 1983.

Firepower started as a Dirty Harry film, written by Bill Kerby, but was later rewritten. At one point, it was going to have Terence Hill as the star. Then, producer Carlo Ponti came on and got his wife, Sophia Loren, hired for $1 million. The expectation was that Charles Bronson would be the star before he decided he wasn’t interested. Some say it’s because they wouldn’t hire Jill Ireland. Whatever it was, so much money had been spent that the movie had to be made, so James Coburn, in one of his last starring roles, came on.

He was quoted in Psychotronic Video issue 9, saying, “I did it for the money, the locations (the Caribbean islands), and to work with Sophia Loren. The director was Michael Winner. He’s probably one of the weirdest guys I’ve ever met. Yet, I thought he was a good guy when I first met him. But when he got on the set, he was almost like a total dictator. I found it hard to work that way. The most fun I had was when I got to drive a bulldozer through a house in the islands.”

This Janet Maslin review is, to me, a rave: “Mr. Winner directs movies the way others toss salads, which means that Firepower is best appreciated at a kind of mental half‐mast. A lot happens. None of it makes sense. Some of the performances Mr. Winner gets from his supporting players are rip‐roaringly awful, as is Gato Barbieri’s loud and schlocky score. However, there’s a nice chemistry in the teaming of Miss Loren, Mr. Coburn and Mr. Simpson, each of whom has an unusually physical presence on the screen.”

Those are the kind of reviews that make me watch movies!

Adele Tasca (Loren) watches her husband get killed with a letter bomb and blames his boss, one of the wealthiest men in the world, Karl Stegner (George Touliatos). Turns out the drug they worked on causes cancer, and Stegner wants to kill all the loose ends and disappear.

FBI agent Frank Hull (Vincent Gardenia) turns to a former secret agent, Sal Hyman (Eli Wallach), to help track down the big pharma villain. In turn, Hyman hires retired hitman Jerry Fannon (Coburn), who is now gardening and wants nothing to do with the world of murder. But for a million dollars, he takes the job.

When his assistant Catlett (O.J.) is killed by the mob, it becomes personal. Working with Adele, he tracks down Stegner, who isn’t who he says he is. He’s Anthony Franciosa! Man, the cast! Victor Mature in his last movie (paid $5,000 cash — for just 8 hours work — so that it wasn’t taxed), Jake LaMotta, Billy Barty, Paul D’Amato…did I go back in time and work in the casting office?

In his book, Winner Takes All: A Life of Sorts, Winner said that he and O.J. remained close friends, even when Simpson was accused of a double murder, a charge of which Winner was sure he was guilty.

Michael Winner, noted lunatic, a man who nearly died after eating nothing but steak tartare and nothing else, said this: “In the meantime, Nicole arrived and was fatuous and unpleasant. O. J. was a delight, and Al Cowling was a delight. I stayed very friendly with them for many years after the movie.

The trial doesn’t affect my opinion of O. J. After his first trial, I was in a serious political discussion with Adam Bolton of Sky News. The Attorney-General and some MPs were there. Adam Bolton introduced me. “And Michael Winne, who was a friend of O. J. Simpson’s.” I said, “No, not was, Adam. I am a friend of O. J. Simpson’s.”

I think the O. J. Simpson trial showed clearly that the LA police fabricated so much evidence that the jury was right to find him innocent.

I wasn’t about to re-try him. Regardless of my opinion, it doesn’t alter the fact that he was acquitted of murder, whether people believe he did it or not.”

Years later they met and this is what Winner remember: “He also maintained his outrageous sense of humour. We were driving around Hyde Park Corner, a crowded and dangerous spot. I nearly hit two people. O. J. said, “Watch out, man! They’ll say O. J. killed another two!”

You can watch this on Tubi.