CANNON MONTH 3: The Slayer (1982)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Since childhood, Kay has constantly suffered from horrifying dreams, some of which are just frightening landscapes that leave her feeling uneasy and others that show loved ones being killed by a supernatural force. Those dreams have come and gone, but now they are happening more often, growing in intensity and impacting her work as an artist.

Worried that all of this stress may hurt her newfound success as an abstract artist, Kay decides to vacation on a small island, along with her husband David (Alan McRae, Three Ninjas), her brother Eric and his wife Brooke. As their pilot drops them off on the island, he mentions that a hurricane is on the way and he has to leave as soon as possible. Even stranger is the fact that the island — which they expected to be a resort town — is a deserted ruin. And not just any ruin, but the one in Kay’s dreams, leading her to feel that everyone is in danger.

David, Eric and Brooke are then killed one after the other. But who killed them? The film gives us three possible stories, each of which are plausible: the pilot never left the island and just dropped them off there to kill them (a theory that is somewhat proved when the pilot is seen later); Kay believes that a monster from her dreams can cross over into reality thanks to the island (which could be true, as the murders only happen when she is asleep) and finally, that Kay is really the killer, falling into a trance and acting out repressed resentment.

After everyone else dies, Kay locks herself into the beach house and tries to stay awake, even burning herself with cigarettes. But that night, the pilot makes his way into the house. She shoots him with a flare gun, killing him and sending the house up in smoke. As she tries to leave, a flaming skeleton is waiting for her.

But wait! It was all a dream, as Kay awakes on Christmas morning in bed. After telling her parents about the dream, they hand her a black cat to her horror. Huh? Supposedly Kay is killed by the Slayer and this is a flashback, but it certainly doesn’t seem that way.

Director J.S. Cardone says that he was inspired by H.P. Lovecraft and the idea of dreams versus reality, but the movie doesn’t have much to do with Lovecraft. That said, this movie looks way more expensive than its budget would lead you to believe, there are some good death scenes and it has a bleak atmosphere.

Here’s a drink.

Hurri-Kay

  • 2 oz. white rum
  • 2 oz. dark rum
  • 2 oz. passion fruit juice
  • 2 oz. orange juice
  • .5 oz. grenadine
  • .5 oz. simple syrup
  • .25 oz. lime juice
  • Maraschino cherry
  1. Add all your ingredients — other than the cherry — in a shaker filled with ice.
  2. Mix it up, pour over ice and toss in that cherry.

SHAWGUST: Hex After Hex (1982)

There are three Hex movies but they aren’t all that connected, other than this films’ protagonist, Ma Su (Lo Meng), being the neighbor of the main character in Hex vs. Witchcraft. He finds the same bag of gold that was behind all of the supernatural moments of that film, including the tablet of Liu Ah Cui, whose spirit possesses Yeung Suk Yi (Nancy Lau Nam-Kai) and has her seduce Ma Su.

Kuei Chi-Hung has created a movie where Yoda randomly shows up and then Darth Vader appears with a lightsaber that removes clothing. There’s also a real estate developer who hires Ma Su and plans to complete his development by June 30, 1997, which is when Hong Kong became part of China again. In fact, this evil land owner even gets branded with what was supposed to say 1997 but Shaw Brothers replaced that with their logo.

Eventually, Ma Su fades into the background and Yeung Suk Yi goes on the offensive to get back at the developer for kicking everyone out of their apartment. By the end, Ma Su has fallen for the ghost and invokes a monkey god to battle an animated statue of Thomas Jefferson because, well, why not at this point? What if it also turns into a slot machine and gets everyone rich with the gold that comes out of it? Let’s do that too.

They could have made twenty of these movies and I would watch every one.

SHAWGUST: Five Elements Ninjas (1982)

Chang Cheh directed ninety movies from 1965 to 1993*, as well as all of the lyrics to the songs within his films. The majority of his most well-known movies in the west feature the Venom Mob of Kuo Chui, Lu Feng, Chiang Sheng, Sun Chien, Lo Mang (along with Wei Pai), a group of martial arts masters who appeared together and separately across numerous Shaw Brothers films.

Also known as Super Ninjas, Chinese Super Ninjas and Chinese Super Ninja, this movie seems as if the weirdest and most violence obsessed kid in your grade school class was suddenly given enough money to stop scribbling in his notebooks and instead allowed to make a movie that is pretty much non-stop ninjas horribly murdering one another.

This is quite frankly the highest praise that I can give to a movie.

I mean, let me sum up the first five minutes: Chief Hong (Chan Shen) has challenged his rival Yuan Zeng (Kwan Fung) for the title of martial arts master, which mostly entails sending each others’ students after one another in battles to the death. Hong has cheapened these wars of honor by inviting a foreign samurai to the contest. He kills one of Zeng’s students before being stopped by Liang Zhi Sheng (Lo Mang). Before he commits seppuku, he throws a spiked ring to Zeng, which poisons the master and keeps him from doing kung fu until he heals.

There’s no time to heal, as a new challenge arises from the Five-Element Ninjas. Zeng asks Sheng and Tian Hao (Cheng Tien Chi) to fortify the school while ten of his best men answer the challenge. What follows is a series of increasingly brighter colored ninjas basically showing you every Mortal Kombat fatality nearly a decade before the game came out. The ninjas also send Senji (Chen Pei-Hsi) to infiltrate the school. Yes, Hong and Mudou (Michael Chan, who didn’t just play triad gangster roles, but left the police to become one), the leader of the ninjas, are pretty much the winners before the fight even gets started.

Within a few weeks, she has mapped out the entire school and Mudou’s ninjas attack as she offers herself to Sheng. He refuses her, but allows her to play the flute for him. As she entertains him, everyone in the school except for Hao, who escapes and visits his old ninja master. Joined by four other fighters, he challenges the Five-Elements Ninjas and Mudou, who has killed Hong and taken the title of master.

This movie is quite frankly amazing. It blew my mind throughout and never lets up, like a children’s show that has wall-to-wall gore. As the first movie in our week of Hong Kong films, it has set a high bar which other films will really have to battle to scale and exceed.

You can watch this on Tubi.

*The Legend of the 7 Golden VampiresFive Deadly Venoms and Crippled Avengers to name a few.

SHAWGUST: Buddha’s Palm (1982)

“Flaming Cloud Devil” Ku Han-hun (Alex Man Chi-leung) has learned the Buddha’s Palm from his master and is challenged by four masters of the Evil Fire God power: “Unpredictable Dashing Ring” Sun- Pi-ling (Shaw Yin-yin), “Heavenly Foot” Wai Chein Tien-chun, “Nine Roped Rings” Lui Piao-piao and “Thunderbolt Devil” Pi Li Shen-chun. He’s left for dead and twenty years later, his hiding place is found by Long Jian-fei (Tung Shing Yee), a cocky young fighter who has just been saved by Dameng, a giant flying bearded dragon. Having been trapped in a cave for two decades, Ku Han-hun is a bit insane, but he tells Long that he will teach him his secret art if he gets him the egg of a Golden Dragon. Our hero goes one further and also brings him a dagger that could just be a lightsaber. Pretty good for a guy who starts the movie thrown off a cliff by the new boyfriend of his former girlfriend.

Along the way, Long rescues sword sisters Chu Yu-hua (Yu An-an) and Chu Yu-chan (Hui Ying-hung), angering their master Sun- Pi-ling, who imprisons him. Wai Chein has also gone on to create an army including an acid spitting dwarf.

Based on Palm of a Thousand Buddhas, this is a shot in studio film that has basic effects, such as an obvious costume for the dragon. But you know, who cares? This has near psychedelic flourishes as the martial arts skills go beyond punches and kicks and become energy radiating from the hands of the fighters, turning them into superheroes battling caves filled with monsters, looking for mysterious object after object. How can you not love a movie that announces its ripped-off Star Wars weapon with the sound of Vader’s labored breath?

Lieh Lo is awesome in this, a goofball hero who is smarter than he appears and who announces himself every time he shows up, saying “Bi Gu of East Island is here!” Have you ever seen a movie where a magic McGuffin heals the acne of an angry female martial arts master before? Nope. You never will again.

This was Taylor Wong’s second movie but man, he already had some magic.

 

SHAWGUST: Human Lanterns (1982)

Master Lung Shu Ai (Tony Liu, The Way of the Dragon as well as two other Bruce Lee movies: The Big BossFist of Fury) and Master Tan (Kuan Tai Chen, Crippled Avengers) are battling one another in every way possible, including Tan introducing Lung’s wife Jin (Ni Tien, who was in several other Hong Kong horror hybrids like Corpse Mania, Black Magic and Hex) to Yen-chu (Linda Chu, Return of the Sentimental Swordsman), the prostitute that Long has just been with. Obviously, the only way they can settle their problems is by winning the village’s lantern-making contest.

Lung needs help creating a lantern, so he turns to Chao Chun-fang (Lo Lieh, The 36th Chamber of Shaolin) for help, the man whose face he once scarred and turned into a pariah. Lung promises great fame and money to Chao Chun-fang for his help and in return, the artist asks one thing: Never inquire as to when the lantern will be finished.

Lung and Tan continue sparring with one another as a series of murders begins in the village. Soon, the two men realize that they must join forces to stop the killer whose spree they have set in motion.

Beyond what you expect from Shaw Brothers — although this film has the sumptuous sets, high-flying martial arts and gorgeous visual look that they are known for — this film possesses scenes of great horror, like the stalk and slash scene at the beginning, with its visuals of skin being graphically removed with a hatchet in a slow, grueling moment of gore. Chao Chun-fang’s dungeon studio is filled with even more frightening imagery, such as piles of bloody organs and body parts, as well as more stretched out and drying skin that he will soon place onto those aesthetically above-average artistic lanterns.

It’s also amazing that this movie takes inspiration from slashers — perhaps in a collective unconsciousness way than outright theft — by having a near-invulnerable giggling killer with an incredibly awesome skull face. There’s also a hint of Mario Bava amongst the martial arts and it’s a cocktail of mixed influence that tastes absolutely refreshing.

Director and co-writer (with Kuang Ni) Sun Chung also made The Master Strikes BackNotorious Eight and Old Man and the Kid. I loved this movie and am now hunting down his other films.

SHAWGUST: Curse of Evil (1982)

Oh man, this movie is a weird one. And that’s why we often visit the East, to see movies that we would never dream of.

The Shaw Brothers aren’t just all fighting movies. No, sometimes they produced movies in which blood frogs and all manner of strange demons decimate and assault families.

The House of Shi was once a wealthy family, but after the tragic murder of thirteen of their number — and them being thrown down a well — they’re been cursed. The kind of curse that awakens a demon who kills the survivors one by one in various gory ways when it’s not attacking every woman in the cast.

The craziest thing of all was that this movie was exclusively released to something called the ZiiEagle, which was packed with Shaw Brothers movies.

This was directed by Chih-Hung Kuei, who also made Corpse Mania and The Boxer’s Omen. So if you’ve seen those movies, you should know to not expect anything in the realm of our senses. Where does one find frogs with steel teeth, anyway? Or a gigantic worm that doesn’t just devour people, but leaves behind most of their bodies covered in pink ooze?

SHAWGUST: Portrait In Crystal (1982)

I think I’ve seen all the Shaw Brothers non-supernatural films and the HK Database says that this is a drama, so…let’s just agree that it may have demons and magic but it’s kind of its own thing.

Long Fei (Jason Piao Pai) left behind the world of martial arts fisticuffs and now lives in a secluded mountain studio where he and his assistant Fatty (Wong Chun) have spent five years carving a woman out of crystal. Long Fei wishes that his woman had a soul, so he adds some blood because you know, nothing bad would happen, and of course everything bad in this movie happens as the crystal woman (Yu-Po Liu) starts killing people.

Masked Poison Yama (Wei Hao Ting) and his son (Yu Hsiao) want to kill Long Fei, so they spend much of the movie inside a treehouse lab where they mix plants, snake venom — yes, the movie shows us it being extracted, it’s a Shaw Brothers movie — and animals to make a poison that blows people up from inside their stomach. Yes, they show it. You know you want it.

Yet the son is soon killed by the crystal female and Yama declares revenge on everyone, first using poison gas to kill everyone in the family of former fighter Prince Tian Di (Jung Wang). As this is all going on, he sends his men White Judge and Black Judge after Long Fei and Fatty, who are hiding out in an inn where the owner decapitated people and serves their flesh.

This movie is, well, absolutely wild. There are battles in a graveyard, a school of masked female assassins, wire-assisted swordplay and every character coming together for one final battle. I just realized that Hus Shan also directed Inframan, Kung Fu Zombie and Dynamo. Yeah, that makes sense even if this movie doesn’t — like how is the crystal woman related to the assassin academy? — but who cares? It looks good, it moves fast and it’s super weird.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CBS LATE MOVIE: Split Image (1982)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Split Image was on the CBS Late Movie on August 28, 1987 and February 10, 1988.

Danny Stetson (Michael O’Keefe) wants to be an Olympic athlete until he falls in love with Rebecca (Karen Allen) — and can you blame him — and joins her at Homeland, a religious community led by Neil Kirklander (Peter Fonda). His parents Kevin (Brian Dennehy) and Diana (Elizabeth Ashley) run out of ideas to get him back and hire bounty hunter Charles Pratt (James Woods).

Directed by Ted Kotcheff (First Blood) and written by Scott Spencer (Endless Love), Robert Kaufman (Love at First Bite) and Robert Mark Kamen (The Karate Kid), this film is also known as Missing Pieces and Captured. Comedian Bill Engvall shows up in a small part, as does Peter Horton.

This has some great acting in it from Woods and O’Keefe as the deprogramming scenes are really rough. This was an early take on escaping cults and wasn’t noticed in theaters, but Kotcheff had Rambo show up two weeks later.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CBS LATE MOVIE MONTH: Deadly Encounter (1982)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Deadly Encounter was on the CBS Late Movie on November 26, 1986 and January 4, 1988.

William A. Graham (The Hunt for the Unicorn Killer) directed this Larry Hagman-starring movie, which was written by David J. Kinghorn (The Golden Gate Murders) and Robert Boris (Dr. Detroit). Hagman is Sam, a helicopter pilot pulled into a scheme by Chris Butler (Susan Anspach), an ex-girlfriend whose husband has just been killed by some criminals. He has a black book that can put all of them away, as long as she can get it before they do.

Graham and Boris also made another helicopter TV movie, Birds of Prey, which starred David Janssen. Unfortunately, three people died making this film. The Hughes Model​ 500 (369HS) that Hagman flies in the movie crashed when it collided with a cable. Owner Glen Miller (who plays Pocotello Pete in this movie), Diane Doherty and costumer Frank Novak all were lost in the tragedy.

This is the end of when real planes and helicopters were used for stunts. As a result, aviation lovers are super into this movie, as the IMDB review section will prove. It also has a great synth soundtrack, written by Michael Hoenig (Galaxy of TerrorKoyaanisqatsi) and Fred Carlin (Bad Ronald) and played by J. Peter Robinson, who scored The Wraith. Robinson also appears in the video for Phil Collins’ “Don’t Lose My Number,” playing the gyro pilot as Phil becomes Mad Max.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CBS LATE MOVIE MONTH: Echoes (1982)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Echoes was on the CBS Late Movie on April 5, 1984.

Michael Durant (Richard Alfieri) has always dreamed of a man who is trying to kill him. Spoiler: It’s his twin brother who died in the womb. Now, that man wants to possess him, which mostly means that he gets mean to his girlfriend Christine (Nathalie Nell).

That said, this movie is pretty interesting because it’s a supernatural idea but treated as if dream possession is a fact of life and everyone just moves on. It’s also the last movie for Gale Sondergaard, Mercedes McCambridge (Pazuzu!) and Ruth Roman, who plays Michael’s mom.

It’s nearly an Alfieri vanity project, as he co-wrote it with Richard J. Anthony and sings one of the songs on the soundtrack. It’s directed by Arthur Allan Seidelman, who also directed Alfieri’s script for Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks. I know him from the first movie he directed, Hercules In New York. He also directed I Think I’m Having a BabyStrange Voices, the Cannon movie Rescue Me as well as several movies that Alfieri acting in, such as MacbethChildren of Rage, an episode of Magnum P.I. by the title “I Never Wanted to Go to Paris, Anyway” and a Trapper John, M.D. episode titled “In the Eyes of the Beholder.” In fact, the only film Alfieri acted in that Seidelman didn’t direct was In Search of Historic Jesus.

You’ll probably hate the protagonist, as he’s a jerk to everyone even before he gets possessed. I wanted this to be better because it has the right idea. It just isn’t great.

You can watch this on YouTube.