CANNON MONTH 3: Return of Bruce (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Also known as Bruce’s Revenge, Return of Fists of Fury and Ninja vs. Bruce Lee, this was made as Zhong lie Jing wu men. It super stars — that’s what they said — Bruce Le as Bruce Wong, who comes to Manila to visit his uncle who has apparently forgotten and just left home. So he wanders the streets and meets a young thief named Piggy and save a girl from the deadliest pimp in the Philippines, Mr. Cross.

One of the women Bruce saves is his cousin, who runs a martial arts school with his other cousin. He helps them fight Mr. Cross, who has one henchman who is such a gay stereotype that even far right people will be offended by this movie’s homophobia. Anyways, Bruce shuts almost everything down, so the bad guys hire a killer named Sakata to kill everyone, starting with his male cousin,.

This movie has an instrumental version of Barry Manilow’s “Mandy” that completely made me insane, screaming out the lyrics. “I’m standing on the edge of time, I’ve walked away when love was mine, Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming.”

Also: This ends with the police all coming to bust up the final fight between Mr. Cross, Sakta, Sakata’s brother, a hundred goons and Bruce. Piggy watches, all alone on the beach, crying, realizing that he will forever be alone. So…an unhappy ending?

If you were Asian, did martial arts and looked like Bruce Lee with aviator sunglasses on, you always had a job in 1977.

Director Joseph Velasco also went by Joseph Kong and made Bruce’s Secret Kung Fu,. Thundering NinjaThe Clones of Bruce LeeTreasure of Bruce LeeThe Young DragonEnter the Game of DeathBruce’s Deadly FingersBruce and the Shaolin Bronzemen and Kung Fu Master: Bruce Lee Style. He made more off Bruce Lee than Bruce Lee made off of Bruce Lee.

You can watch this on Daily Motion.

CANNON MONTH 3: Snuff Bottle Connection (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

It’s bad enough in these movies that the antagonists keep burning down the Shaolin temple. Now, the villains are working with the Russians, who bring General Tolstoy (Roy Horan) and his guns to battle their fists. All because China and Russia are trying to sign a peace treaty and show people want non-stop war and an invasion of Manchuria.

Yet for all I know about the martial world, I had no idea what a snuff bottle was of what it has to do with this movie. Well, I learned.

Snuff bottles were used during this time to hold powdered tobacco, which was illegal. However, snuff was used as a remedy for colds, headaches and stomach disorders. It was carried in a small bottle, instead of a box like in Europe. They were pieces of fine art and some even had painting inside the bottle.

Because the Russians can’t tell the Chinese factions apart, the bad guys show them a snuff bottle when they meet so they don’t fight. I guess that makes sense and is also kind of racist.

The hero is John Liu, who would one day be New York Ninja, Dragon BloodNinja In the Claws of the CIA and the hero who is there when Zen Kwan Do Strikes Paris. He gets to battle Hwang Jang Lee, all choreographed by Yuen Woo Ping. There’s also another good guy, Kao (Yip Fei-Yang), who is the master of daggers and a child thief named Xiao (Wong Yat Lung).

Kind of cool to see foreign bad guys in the time before Hong Kong movies became about the present and not the past. And now, you too know what a snuff bottle is.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH 3: Shaolin Kung Fu Mystagogue (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

What is a mystagogue? According to Wikipedia, it’s “A mystagogue is a person who initiates others into mystic beliefs, and an educator or person who has knowledge of the sacred mysteries of a belief system.”

Fang Shao Ching (Carter Wong) has one of those mystagogues. His blind teacher refuses to reveal the 18th secret move to him as he’s too impatient. That said, if a martial artist uses the 18th strike, it doesn’t just kill their opponent. They die as a result of the blow as well. So maybe the teacher is right to not share this strike.

Soon, Fang Shao Ching and his sister Fang Ping (Feng Hsu) must protect a prince from the Ching government, which has taken over. They’ve sent many killers to murder him, including Yeun Ming (Chang Yi), who has perhaps the greatest weapon since the flying guillotine. He has these magnetic knives called the Bloody Birds that can either be knives, spinning blades, boomerangs, bombs or even drills that go right through flesh.

Sure, the fighting isn’t the best, but the main bad guy has skin that can’t be pierced and a throne that shoots bullets. Plus, you get rooms full of traps and I love when kung fu meets dungeon crawling. It’s no Shaw Brothers but is still pretty fun.

According to Temple of Schlock, this was originally called Da Mo Mi Zong and first played in 1976. It was first released in the U.S. by Headliner Productions as Mystagogue Superman and it as played as Killer Fists and 18 Shaolin Disciples.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CANNON MONTH 3: Ruby (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Curtis Harrington had the thread of magic running through all of his films. One of the leaders of New Queer Cinema, he also directed Queen of Blood, Voyage to the Prehistoric PlanetWhat’s the Matter with Helen?Who Slew Auntie Roo?, the Sylvia Kristel-starring Mata Hari, tons of episodic television shows and the TV movies Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell, The Dead Don’t DieKiller Bees, The Cat Creature and How Awful About Allan.

His links to the occult, include the study of Thelema with his close associates Kenneth Anger (he played Cesare, the somnambulist in the magician/filmmaker/author’s movie Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome), Marjorie Cameron — who is pretty much the nexus point of twentieth-century occult doings and appears in his film Night Tide — and avant-garde film pioneer Maya Deren, an initiated voodoo priestess.

Harrington was also the driving force in rediscovering the original James Whale production of The Old Dark House and — as a friend of Whale near the end of his life — advised the making of the movie Gods and Monsters.

His final film was Usher, based on a high school film he made of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher. He cast Nikolas and Zeena Schreck — the daughter of Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey — who financed the movie by brokering the sale of Harrington’s signed copy of Crowley’s The Book of Thoth. Perhaps even more interesting is the theory that singer Taylor Swift is a clone of Zeena. No, really.

But hey — we’re here today to discuss 1977’s Ruby, a movie that brings Piper Laurie from Carrie into a story about possession and flashbacks.

In 1935, a lowlife mobster named Nicky Rocco is betrayed and executed in the swamps as his pregnant girl Ruby (Laurie) watches. The moment he dies, she goes into labor. Fast-forward sixteen years and she’s living with a mute daughter named Leslie (Janit Baldwin, Gator Bait, Phantom of the ParadiseBorn InnocentHumongous) and running a drive-in with several ex-mobsters like Ruby’s lover Vince (Stuart Whitman!) and Jake (Western actor Fred Kohler Jr.), a wheelchair-ridden man whose eyes were once cut out.

Ruby misses her days as a lounge singer, but the present has some nasty surprises. A poltergeist begins killing people at the theater, including the projectionist and a creepy guy who runs the concession stand (Paul Kent, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream WarriorsPrey for the Wildcats and the founder of the Melrose Theater). Before long, our heroine — such as it is — believes that Nicky’s spirit has returned and believes that she caused his death.

Vince is visited by Dr. Keller (Roger Davis, Dark ShadowsNashville Girl and the first husband of Jaclyn Smith), who helped him get out of jail early. He’s a clairvoyant who believes that there’s something in the drive-in, which is true, because Nicky starts speaking Ruby’s name over the speakers at the drive-in. Before long, Ruby’s daughter is speaking with the voice of her dead father and showing the wounds he endured before his death.

The producer chose to change the ending, and both Curtis Harrington and Piper Laurie refused to be involved in the re-shoot. It was allegedly shot by Stephanie Rothman (the director of The Student Nurses and the writer of Starhops). This ending, where Nicky comes back from the grave and drags Ruby into the swamp, was part of the TV commercials for the film.

Keep an eye out for Len Lesser in this — he was Uncle Leo on Seinfeld — as well as Crystin Sinclaire, who appeared in Eaten Alive and Caged Heat.

This was picked up by 21st Century after Dimension Pictures went out of business.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CANNON MONTH 3: Satan’s Cheerleaders (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Ms. Johnson (Jacqueline Cole, director Grayden Clark’s wife) has perhaps the smallest cheer squad ever at Benedict High School. Just four girls — Debbie (Alisa Powell, The Toolbox Murders), Sharon (Sherry Marks), Patti (Kerry Sherman, Eyes of Fire) and Chris (Hillary Horan, Young Doctors In Love) — who are more interested in playing touch football and getting scored on by the football team than doing their routines.

After their car breaks down on the way to their big game, Billy the janitor and bus driver (Jack Kruschen, The Apartment) rescues them. And by rescue, I mean sacrificing them on an altar to Satan. They’re saved again by a hobo (John Carradine), the sheriff (John Ireland) and his wife (Yvonne De Carlo) and you know what I always say: never trust Old Hollywood. Or a lawnman with a name like Sheriff B.L. Bubb.

Shot in ten days with no permits, Satan’s Cheerleaders is mindless fun with an entire town devoted to the Lord of the Flies and a cheerleader with a secret of her own. Sure, it could be better, but this is the kind of movie that was meant to either get drunk to or get laid during at the drive-in. As such, it did its job.

You can watch this on Tubi.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Long Jeanne Silver (1977)

Dragon Art Theatre Week (September 8 – 14) Pssst. Hey…buddy… you wanna see some naked movies with your mom in em? This stuff here is premium split tail in action, my friend, straight from the vaults at Something Weird Video. It’s all the HARD X stuff on the SWV site that I could find on Letterboxd and let me tell you, when I say HARD X I mean it! These movies show it all baby, whatever sort of freaky shit you’re into, these movies have got it. Nipple clamps, ice cubes on the balls, lesbos, homos, cumshots, whips, leather, you name it! Plus we got air conditioning and the cleanest bathrooms on the deuce. Just step inside … and if you need some luudes or a lid talk to my man Shifty over at the popcorn counter. Tell him Klon sent you.

Jeanne Silver was born in Tempe, Arizona with a missing fibula in one leg , which meant that the bottom half of it had to be amputated. After running away to New York City at the age of 16, she danced in clubs — she had already started that back home at 15 after being busted several times for burglary — before posing for adult magazines and performing in adult films.

Directed by Alex De Renzy, this is a collection of scenes with Jeanne that doesn’t shy away from showing off her leg. It begins with her looking at her own centerfold in Cheri before looking right at you, the viewer, and saying, “My name is Long Jeanne Silver and I’m handicapped and horny! Due to a quirk of nature I was born with a bigger dick than John Holmes, and baby, you better believe I know how to use it!”

When this played Hollywood sin palaces after Mike Weldon bought it, people kept walking out and what seemed like a sure-fire sensation wasn’t drawing. That’s because the scene where Jean takes a young man’s backside offended people. Go figure. Johnny Legend, the future director of My Breakfast With Blassie, had the job of figuring that out and then going from theater to theater to trim that moment of onscreen gomorrahy.

Today, Silver is alive and well in Arizona. She even showed up in Clownado a few years back. Her kindness is something to take notice of, as she routinely keeps in contact with her fellow actors and even handles funeral arrangements for them. She never forgets a birthday, either.

As for this film, you may be offended by it, but it shows that everyone has a right to sexual expression. If anything, Jeanne’s birth defect didn’t handicap her. Instead, it just opened her world to some wild adventures.

CANNON MONTH 3: Cheering Section (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

He may have only lived 48 years, but Harry Kerwin got to make some wild movies, like It’s a Revolution, MotherSweet Bird of AquariusGod’s Bloody AcreTomcats and BarracudaCheering Section is a pre-Porky’s teen sex comedy that hits a lot of the same locker room beats, just four years before that was made. He wrote this along with his regular partner Wayne Crawford, who went on to write Valley Girl and play Jake Speed.

If you’re going to watch a cheerleading movie, pick The Pom-Pom Girls. But if you choose to watch this, it’s about star athlete Corey (Tom Leindecker) who wants to make his football team a winner but keeps getting involved with the Coach Jackson’s daughter, Melanie (Rhonda Fox). If they win the final game, the coach will allow them to date. That’s it. That’s pretty much the movie, other than a bikini car wash scene. This movie, released by Dimension Films, will make you realize that the New World nurse and cheerleader movies are cinema by comparison.

21st Century re-released this as a double feature with Dr. Minx.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CANNON MONTH 3: Supervan (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

This is a vansploitation movie. Yes, that’s really a genre and there are several films in it, of which I can name Blue SummerThe Van (obviously), Best Friends, C.B. Hustlers (which has Uschi Digard in it), Mag WheelsVan Nuys Blvd. and I guess you could almost count On the Air Live with Captain Midnight. There’s a great article on it by Jason Coffman that goes deep into the genre that I totally recommend.

The beauty of this movie is that it posits a world where solar energy is already happening, van culture is the driving force in society and there is no AIDS to worry about, so all of the vans are a rocking and absolutely no one is knocking. It is surely paradise, if paradise only gets 11 miles to the gallon, fuel crisis be damned.

Our hero Clint Morgan has traveled to The Invitational Freak-Out, a major event for custom van enthusiasts, which means that any time we’re near it, we get to see plenty of b-roll footage of painted vans and all of the accouterments — this is not a word you want to use when selling Winnebagos — that they have inside.

Clint saves Karen (Katie Saylor, Invasion of the Bee Girls) from some bikers from another exploitation genre and they destroy his van The Sea Witch. That’s when he goes to the super genius van designer Bosley and together, they all make Supervan, which uses solar power and lasers. It was really made by George Barris — who designed so many other Hollywood cars — and was based on a stock Dodge Sportsman van. This thing was so big that it had a phone intercom system inside it.

Oh yeah. It turns out that Karen’s dad owns a car company that is out to make a van that uses more gas than ever before — what does it get 3 miles to the gallon? — and they have to take Supervan to the show to prevent him from making it happen, but he puts the cops on their tail.

We’ve seen Clint before on our site, as Mark Schneider is also in the Crown International Pictures movie Burnout, which is one of the few dragsterpolitation movies I can think of, so perhaps he is the perfect star for all things vehicular in nature.

Director Lamar Card is also there, in the nooks and crannies of strange movies that I find myself obsessed with, like producing the scumtastic Nashville Girl and directing the only Fabian-starring, Casey Kasem-coke sniffing disco freakout Disco Fever.

Beyond the near gynecological explorations of all of these vans at the absolute expense of story,  this movie has a cameo by Charles Bukowski — the firebrand of a man who wrote “what matters most is how well you walk through the fire” — judging a wet t-shirt contest. I am in no way making that up.

There’s never really been a movie like Supervan. To be fair, I don’t think the world could have handled two. To quote the love ballad from the film, when I think of Supervan, “I’ll always remember you as a milestone in my life.”

21st Century distributed this at one point.

You can watch this on Tubi.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Devil Inside Her (1977)

Frank Henenlotter’s Sexy Shockers (September 1 – 7) We all know Frank Hennenlotter as the director of the Basket Case films, Bad Biology, Brain Damage, and Frankenhooker, but he’s also a cinematic curator of the crass! An academic of the pathetic! A steward of sleaze! A sexton of the sexual and the Sexy Shocker series is his curio cabinet of crudity. Skin and sin are mixed together in these homegrown oddities, South American rediscoveries, and Eurohorror almost-classics. Your mind may recoil with erotic revulsion at the sights contained within these films, so choose wisely!

Edward Earle Marsh started acting as a young kid, potentially playing of the Three Little Pigs in the Laurel and Hardy movie Babes in Toyland, with Errol Flynn in The Adventures of Robin Hood and as a slave in The End Commandments. In the 60s, he recorded the album I’ll Sing for You with the London Philharmonic Orchestra. This was the first time he’d use the name Zebedy Colt and the record was probably shocking for its time, singing songs to men that were usually sung by women to men.

He would come back to that name when he was looking for a way to make money while struggling on Broadway (he was Anthony Newley’s understudy in The Roar of the Greasepaint, The Smell of the Crowd and was also in Dark at the Top of the Stairs, The Royal Family and Travesties). He was recognized by his fellow actors several times, include Sandy Dennis, who saw him in an adult film that she took her mother to see.

After appearing in movies like Sex WishThe Story of Joanna and Barbara Broadcast, he started to direct — something he continued to do in New Jersey and Pennsylvania regional theater — from his Lambertville, New Jersey farm. His movies include Farmer’s Daughters (starring Spalding Gray), White Fire, Terri’s Revenge and Unwilling Lovers.

Strangest of those movies is The Devil Inside Her, a movie set in 1826, somewhere in New England. Two sisters, Faith (Terri Hall, Rollerbabies, which fortells that in the not too distant future, sex will be illegal. But there will be Rollerbabies) and Hope (Jody Maxwell, Neon Nights) are both in love with a farmhand named Joseph (Dean Tait). Their father, Ezekiel (Colt), hates this and flogs Faith for having lust in her heart.

Instead of waiting for the punishment from her father, Hope prays to the devil (Rod DuMont), who begins to possess each of the members of the family. You can tell because they have face paint on, just like he does. Satan ends up looking more like Moloch from CHiPs than KISS or King Diamond, but when you see what a few demons do to Annie Sprinkle later, you’ll know that he’s the real cloven hoofed deal. That’s what you get when you meet a witch in the woods and milk a young boy, unleashing “the human snake that grows to fill the void.”

Someone had to prove how smart they are and write this on IMDB: “The opening scene states that this film is set in 1826, however several actors are wearing modern denim overalls and blue jeans. Denim jeans were not patented and produced until 1873, by Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis.”

You’re expecting perfect costumes from an adult movie made in the 70s.

Anyways, this all ends with Joseph and father trying to save Hope — never mind that every family member has co-mingled more than every character in every V.C. Andrews book put together — and laying crosses on her. She responds by saying, “Go fuck yourself in Heaven! You have ruined it all with your cocks of impurity!” As she dies, it seems like this is an unhappy ending, until Satan is revealed, holding her under his cape.

If it all seems like Faith would like to live deliciously, well, this may not have influenced The Witch but damn it all if it isn’t really similar. Except, you know, one of them is a movie with a budget and this is an adult film shot in a few days on a farm. Somehow, this one ends with only one person dead, a father recognizing his daughter’s marriage and new husband, and the dead daughter achieving the true love she never had in life within the arms of Lucifer. “Love of God cannot be so oppressive that one forgets pure love and honest desire,” is spoken and somehow, a movie that is absolute filth — seriously, this goes below and beyond what even your internet connected dirty mind can look up — has a moral even in the midst of absolute immorality.

CANNON MONTH 3: The 36 Crazy Fists (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Whether you see this as The 36 Crazy Fists, Bloodpact, Secrets of the Young Master or The Master and the Boxer, if you’re here for Jackie Chan, he only shows up in the opening credits. Directed by Charlie Chen Chi-Hwa, this had Jackie directing the fights with his stunt team. Producers took the behind the scenes footage for the opening of the film and released it as an actual Jackie Chan movie.

The story is about a young man who goes by Wong Ti-Kwang (Siu-Hung Leung). He wants revenge for the death of his father and ends up learning kung fu, after being refused by many schools, through the same way that Jackie did in The Drunken Master. He gets his ass beat day after day until he learns the windmill strikes of the 36 crazy fists.

If you were buying Jackie movies in dollar bins at any point, you probably bought this.

You can watch this on YouTube.