My Breakfast With Blassie (1983)

Classy. The Hollywood Fashion Plate. The King of Men. You know, when I was a young kid, I saw an older Fred Blassie as a wrestling manager and he always made me so happy, this gruff older man barking at the camera. But I didn’t know about the man who filed his teeth coming off a plane in Japan, the vampire who bit Rikidozan. I didn’t know that his first match was a shoot where he fought a wrestler with no training just to impress a girl he brought to the fair. I didn’t know that he was such a ruthless villain that he got acid thrown at him.

I was also a big fan of Andy Kaufman as a kid. I didn’t know how much of him was real and how much was an act. You know, I’d still like to have that level of the unknown in my life. Andy taught me that failure and weirdness and danger can be hilarious.

It just stands to reason that these two men would rip off My Dinner With Andre in a Sambo’s restaurant, as Freddie and Andy would have breakfast and make fun of every single person around them. I love the idea that this film presents, that Andy is pretty much unsure about being a heel while Blassie is a genuine hater of all humanity.

Johnny Legend brought this together. He helped Blassie record some of his famous songs, like “Pencil Neck Geek,” which were often heard on Dr. Demento. His sister Lynne is also in this movie. This is where she’d meet Andy, who she would start dating.

Legend is also related to a moment in adult film history, as he was the man who was charged with cutting out the moments of Long Jeanne Silver using her appendage on a male star in her starring movie, Alex De Renzy’s Long Jeanne Silver. He’s also in the Australian softcore movie Fantasm Comes Again, Pot, Parents And Police and Bride of Re-Animator.

If you want to watch Fred Blassie flip out on people not prepared for his brutal ways, watch this on Tubi. PS — I realize that Bob Zmuda is a plant, as are many of the people sitting around, but just enjoy the movie.

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