CHILLER THEATER MONTH: Spiritism (1961)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Spiritism was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, July 1, 1967 at 1:00 a.m.

Benito also directed Munecos InfernalesSanto vs. the Zombies and the astoundingly titled Frankenstein el Vampiro y Compania. This time, he’s sending his movie up north where Espiritismo will become Spiritism thanks to K. Gordon Murray.

This goes the Monkey’s Paw one better by having Satan himself grant the wishes. I mean, when the Lord of Lies is giving things away, that’s when you start questioning things. Louis and Mary Howard (Nora Veryan and Louis Fernandez) decide to attend a seance with a medium by the name of Elvira (Diana Ochoa). She warns them that April 8 will be the start of tragedy and seeing as how that’s their 20th anniversary, they suddenly get concerned and soon are dealing with death, spirits and the decimation of their family.

This movie features a character so clueless that she goes to a seance for herself, which sounds like a joke I should be saving for the next time someone wants to play The Dozens against me. Actually, the scene where she discovers that she is dead and can’t believe it is incredibly sad.

CHILLER THEATER MONTH: The Haunted Strangler (1958)

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Haunted Strangler was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, June 27, 1964 at 4:00 p.m. and Sunday, September 13, 1964 at 11:15 p.m.

Jan Read wrote the story “Stranglehold” just for Boris Karloff, who made this movie at the same time as Fiend Without a Face, the movie that it played double features with.

Edward Styles (Michael Atkinson) is executed for being the Haymarket Strangler, a killer who choked women with one arm while stabbing them. As his coffin is closed, someone slips a knife in and for twenty years, no one thinks of these crimes.

James Rankin (Boris Karloff) believes that Styles was innocent and begins to look into the crime. As he killed his last victim, Martha Stuart, at the Judas Hole bar — The Judas Hole is an alternate title, as is The Grip of the Strangler — as others watched, including singer Cora Seth (Joan Kent). A man named Tenant did the autopsies of the victims and grew ill before the end of the case. This makes Rankin think that he could be the killer but without the murder weapon, it’s hard to put the evidence together. No one can find Tenant, who went insane just after the murders.

Ready for the spoiler?

As Rankin looks at the bones of Styles, he finds the knife and begins to transform, his face changing and his arm being paralyzed like the strangler. Somehow, thanks to the love of his nurse — and wife — Barbara (Elizabeth Allan) he has been able to keep the Strangler inside himself. Now, as he investigates the case, he alternates between the two different personas and begins to kill again, including his wife. This drives him further into psychosis and he begins screaming that he is the killer yet no one believes him. As he attempts to kill his daughter Lily (Diane Aubrey), he finally realize he must be stopped. As he tries to bury the knife in the grave, he is shot and killed by the police.

Director John Croydon was also shooting First Man Into Space at the same time, so British drive-in films were in great demand. He kept directing the whole way until 1991 with the TV movie Fire: Trapped on the 37th Floor. He also made SheCorridors of Blood and The Green Man.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CHILLER THEATER MONTH: The Wolf Man (1941)

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Wolf Man was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, September 18, 1965 at 1:00 a.m., Saturday, May 13, 1967 at 11:20 p.m., Saturday, April 13, 1968 at 1:00 a.m., Saturday, March 29, 1969 at 1:00 a.m., Saturday, November 6, 1971 at 11:30 p.m., Saturday, February 17, 1973 at 11:30 p.m., Saturday, January 19, 1974 at 11:30 p.m., Saturday, September 10, 1977 at 11:30 p.m. and on the final Chiller Theater on December 31, 1983 at 1:00 a.m. with It Came from Beyond Space.

As you watch this movie, understand the pains that Lon Chaney Jr. had to go through for your entertainment. While the stories got exaggerated over the years, even a portion of their truth is a testament to the actor’s herculean patience. Although the effects improved with each movie, this makeup — which was originally developed for Werewolf of London — took five to six hours to apply and a full hour to remove. There were even “finishing nails” carefully hammered into the skin on the sides of the actor’s hands so that they would remain motionless during the transformation scenes, which took ten hours of Chaney getting makeup, going to set to hold still against a pane of glass, then back for more makeup on a day that stretched to twenty-one hours of work over two days of filing.

Larry Talbot has returned to Wales to make peace with his father, Sir John Talbot (Claude Rains) and falls for a local girl (Evelyn Ankers, Universal’s “Queen of the B’s”).

During their initial meeting, he buys a silver-headed walking stick decorated with a wolf just to get to talk to her while she works. She tells him that it depicts a werewolf, a fact of life that he learns all about when he defends her friend from an attack and gets bitten on the chest as a result.

Soon, he learns from the fortune teller Maleva (Maria Ouspenskaya) that it was her son Bela (Bela Lugosi!) who bit him. Now, he will live up to the poem that is recited several times during this film: “Even a man who is pure in heart, and says his prayers by night; May become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.”

The funny thing is that poem is not an ancient tale; it was written for the movie by screenwriter Curt Siodmak. He based the chasing of Talbot and his life being thrown upside down on his experiences in post-WW II Germany.

Director George Waggner would go on to direct plenty of TV, including episodes of Batman and Cheyenne.

While this film was a success and Larry Talbott (with Chaney playing him) would return for four more films, the character never appeared in its own direct sequel. Joe Johnston would direct a 2010 remake with Benicio del Toro in the lead role. There was also talk that the character would be played by Dwayne Johnson in the planned Dark Universe and Ryan Gosling in a Blumhouse version of the film.

Most of the legends of werewolves come not from folklore but directly from this film, including a person becoming a werewolf through a bite, the weakness to silver bullets, and werewolves’ and their victims’ hands being marked with pentagrams.

Fun fact: A five-year-old Sam asked every child in his kindergarten class to show their palms, as he had told his teacher that he was doing a magic trick for the class. In truth, he was checking to see if any of them were werewolves.

Mutilator 2 (2023)

Mutilator may not have the fanbase of other slashers — you won’t find much merchandise or an aisle devoted to it in your Spirit Halloween store — but it does have a great tagline in “By sword, by pick, by axe, bye bye” and the legend that the original was almost unreleased because the gore earned it an X rating.

Now, four decades after this late in the game slasher came out, original director Buddy Cooper returns with much of the cast of the first movie, all to make a meta sequel as a sequel is being made at the original filming location, as well as a wrap party and fan convention to celebrate the end of a rough shoot. Ruth Martinez, Pam from the 1985 film, plays herself, as does Bill Hitchcock (Ralph).

After Jon (Mark Francis), the director of the new Mutilator is killed, a detective named Columbo (Damian Maffei) starts to investigate and the bodies pile up. I mean it, the last part of this movie wipes out nearly every new character one after the other. Somehow, Jon’s producer brother Julian (Dan Grogan) is able to convince the police to not investigate until the wrap party.

Terry Kiser — who played the dead Bernie twice — is actor Jack Chatham, the man who played Big Ed in the first movie (who has a cameo) and he’s obsessed with getting his hands on his old weapons.

Speaking of those weapons, all of them and more will be used to decimate this movie’s cast, including fishing tackle taking out an eyeball in a method that Fulci would savor and a speargun up the rear and out the mouth kill that blew my mind, as well as a lynching that was so disgusting that I forgot I was on mute during a work conference call and yelled out loud in excitement. A fish even gets pulled off the wall and used.

Despite having eleven writers — Cooper, John Douglass, Edmund Ferrell, Keith Ferrell, Semone Fournillier, Ann Hale, Marshall New, David Edward Roop, the Soska sisters and Keith Patrick Stoddard — once it comes time to end this movie, it does so Porky Pig-style as the credits start to run.

It’s a shame that this ends in such a ramshackle fashion, just as things are picking up. Then again, this would be a fun movie to see with an audience and it revels in its gore, which is both amusing and shocking. If you love Mutilator, you’ll be overjoyed that other people love it just as much as you. But if you adore it that much, you’ll be upset that the “Fall Break” song doesn’t play in this.

This was one of the movies I was most looking forward to in several fests this year, so I’m excited that I finally got to see it. Here’s hoping it gets another pass before it plays wide, as with some tweaking, I think this could get in front of even more viewers than its inspiration.

2024 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 11: A Gnome Named Gnorm (1990)

11. BREAKING THE MOLD: More than make up, this one is when practical effects masters employ their crafting skills directly to making the whole damn movie.

Hey, Stan Winston directed Pumpkinhead and, well, Michael Jackson’s Ghosts, so a .500 batting average gets you into the hall of fame. Pen Densham and John Watson wrote Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and The Zoo Gang so that seems fine. And there was a rewrite by Parker Bennett and Terry Runte (Mystery DateSuper Mario Brothers), who had come to Hollywood hot.

But knowing everything there is to know about who made this movie won’t save you.

Nothing will prepare you for what you will see.

Also known as Upworld, this has — you knew it — a gnome named Gnorm. According to the incredible Non-Alien Creature Wiki, a gnome in this movie are “… a sapient race of small subterranean humanoids whose society depends upon magical phosphorescent gems called lumens, which provide light in the underground world and allows them to grow their food crops. Their society has individuals divided according to their function, including tunnelers and warriors. Every ten years the warriors bring the lumens to the surface world to be recharged.”

Seeing as how this is a movie about gnomes, you may think that it’s a family comedy. It certainly is set up that way. And then people start getting shot at and there are a lot of cops and the gnome seems like he wants to have sex with every woman in the movie.

Look, 96% of kids said Gnorm was excellent.

Buddy cop movies were so out of control in the late 80s that we ran out of people and had dogs (K9, Turner and Hooch, Top Dog), then kids (Sidekicks, Cop and a Half), then mothers (Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot) and even dinosaurs (Theodore Rex) be buddy cops. Sometimes reincarnated cops as dogs (Poochinski). And then, we got Gnorm.

Gnorm has left home because Rena, the woman he loves, only is into warriors. The warriors all bring the Lumens, a rock that soaks up our sun and powers his underground world, up to the surface to become the rulers of their world. To win the girl, Gnorm comes up here with the stolen Lumens and ends up watching the mob kill someone.

He also looks like something from The Dark Crystal if someone pissed on it.

This movie also dares to make romantic partners — and cop partners — of Anthony Michael Hall and Claudia Christian. Yes, the Geek from Sixteen Candles and Officer Susan Riley from Maniac Cop 2. He’s Casey Gallagher, a rookie who doesn’t even bring his gun to work and she’s hard as it gets Sam, a seasoned cop who keeps covering for Casey when he gets in trouble with their boss, Stan Walton (Jerry Orbach).

Yes, Jerry Orbach is in this puppet movie.

And yes, the bad guy Zadar (Eli Danker) has a henchman named Reggie played by Robert Z’Dar.

Ten people played Gnorm with Rob Paulsen as his voice. He’s also the voice of Pinky, Yakko Warner, Ninja Turtle Donatello, G.I. Joe members Snow Job and Tripwire, and he’s also in Stewardess School. The voice is so weird and upsetting that he created for Gnorm that I have been following my wife around the house saying, “I need the Lumens” until she yells at me.

Anyways, Gnorm and Casey have to team up to get the Lumens back, solve the murder and discover corruption within the police force. There’s a moment where they are both arrested and the cops say, “Strip him,” and we see some near-Gnorm nudity. You can’t even imagine the terror, as this thing looks like the pickled punks that float in sideshow jars except it talks.

There are times when Gnorm is three feet tall. There are also times when he is much taller. He has constantly fluctuating powers, like how sometimes he is a moron and others he can hypnotize people into sleep. He also continually says sexually strange things like how Sam is a pooka with a nice roundie and giant popos.

Kid movie.

At one point, I thought this movie was in Central Park in New York City but then they go to Ventura Beach and you know, that’s the least of this film’s mindblowing things.

Despite reports that Winston planned to end this with a “poignant” ending, it ends happy. That said, there’s a scene where Gnorm gets shot and then we learn that his skin is harder than bullets. I feel like this was edited just like how Duke was supposed to die at the hands of Serpentor but Optimus Prime’s death scarred so many children that Hasbro called at midnight and gave Conrad Hauser a reprieve.

Vestron went out of business, so while this was made in 1988, it wasn’t released until 1990, then again in 1992 — no one saw it either time — then on video in 1994.

I also forgot that there are buddy cop movies with aliens (The HiddenAlien Nation, I Come In Peace) and zombies (Dead Heat).

This is a film with a hearse chase, everyone not being freaked out at all by a gnome showing up even if he looks like Jar-Jar Bink’s scuzzy cousin who wants to sell you dirtweed, no one being afraid of Robert Z’Dar’s face and my realization that Anthony Michael Hall has done this, said “Evil dies tonight,” was a Not Ready for Prime Time Player and on The Dead Zone.

No one has any chemistry with anyone in this movie. But it does have a gnome punching people straight in the balls and also directly in the asshole, more than once. Then, at the end, after Gnorm shoves his tongue on Sam, he gets all excited when she kisses Casey. He looks at his buddy cop and says, “Hey slug lips. Something wrong with you? Make her toes curl.”

A movie for the children.

You can watch this on Tubi.

UNSUNG HORRORS HORROR GIVES BACK 2024: The Ghosting (1992)

Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which is working to save the lives of cats and dogs all across America, giving pets second chances and happy homes.

Today’s theme: Ghosts

This film’s director and writer, Walt Hefner, got out of the Air Force and went right into working at Spokane, Washington’s State Theater. He worked hard and eventually owned his own theaters and in 1972, opened the Starlite Drive-In. According to this article from the Inlander, Hefner showed some pretty great triple features, such as  I Spit on Your GraveI Dismember Mama and Snuff all in one night in 1976.

In 1991, Hefner sold his drive-in to a theater chain and used the money to make this movie, produced and filmed in Spokane with an all-local crew. Where did this debut? The Newport Cinemas, built over the drive-in that Hefner once owned, four years after it was filmed.

Ralph (Charlie Shores), Amy (Pamela Kingsley), Jeanie (Jennifer Salmi) and Steve Jessup (Jason Jackson) are stuck. He can’t find a job and is angry that he has to live with his father and have his wife make the money. Then Amy learns that their church needs a caretaker, which gives Ralph something to do other than have flashbacks to Vietnam.

Then he hits Dan Marcum (Bill Hutton) with his van.

Marcum just escaped a mental hospital after years of care. He’d killed his family in that same church where the Jessups now live and his spirit won’t leave Dan alone.

So yes, this sounds like it’s inspired by every 80s haunted house movie — The Shining with the axe and caretaker parts — but what Hefner made is so strange that it begs to be seen. Ralph and Amy seem ready to murder one another at any moment, while Jeanie hurt her legs in an accident that her mother forces her to get past and when she finally gets over it and prepares to go on a date, the ghost of Marcum chains her legs and forcibly spreads them apart. This is a clothed scene but feels like such a violation and her trauma is not ignored. It all happens while one of those strange monkey with cymbal toys goes nuts. It’s terrifying.

Steve seems codependent on his dad. At times, they seem like the only two people who care about each other and then Ralph is abusing him. This all ends with Steve trapped in his room as a low budget version of Gozer mauls him and Ralph can’t figure out how to break the glass window into his son’s room. Who has a glass door for their bedroom? And who lit this scene, because the fog and pink light inside that haunted place is great!

Speaking of family issues, three years after this was made, Jennifer Salmi’s father Albert — the actor who appeared in CaddyshackSuperstition and Empire of the Ants — was served with divorce and restraining order from his wife Roberta. Suffering from clinical depression, he went to her house anyway and shot her before killing himself.

This also has the baptism pool being confused for a pool, explorations of the haunted church, burning baby dolls and a date scene at a movie theater that has no dialogue and seems to go on forever while farting synth plays. As I watched this scene, I was amazed that the movie theater workers had no gloves on and were just about bare handing the popcorn. No one cared in 1987, when this was made, about germs.

Amy does. Ralph gets in bed covered with maggots and acts like it’s not a big deal. Rightly, she goes insane screaming at him and he follows that up by having his son get hit by a car, which is bad guy karma. There’s also a scene where someone gets into a tub filled with snakes and so many poems.

Hefner couldn’t get anyone to pick this movie up. He would have in the early 1980s, as no one would care that it seems like the film stock changes and it sometimes appears shot on video. But in 1987? No, sadly. He kept all the VHS copies in the church he bought to film this in, along with his camera equipment and it all went up in flames in 2017.

Before that, he shot a few other movies. Shooting Grunts is his autobiographical story of how was a combat cinematographer in Vietnam and was seriously wounded at the battle of Khe Sanh.

Then, there’s 2008’s Bad Ghost. I can’t find a copy but it seems like a re-edit of The Ghosting, starring most of the same cast: Salmi is Jeanie, Keith Lee Morris is her boyfriend, Hutton is Dan (called Crazy Dan in this) and Edna Caldwell plays Edna, his wife, a character not in the original movie. The one photo on IMDB of Salmi looks a bit older than she was in The Ghosting. I need this movie.

I’m not saying that this is a good movie but if you know the kind of things that obsess me, you know that I loved it and will recommend it to you.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Thanks to The Schlock Pit for so much info that I used in this review.

I HOPE YOU SUFFER OCTOBER FILM CHALLENGE: Amityville Scarecrow (2021)

EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.

Is Amityville Cornfield a better title? I don’t know. Nor can I comprehend how one family can have so many unmatching accents, but if I have learned anything, it’s don’t watch sixty Joe D’Amato movies in a week followed by three Amityville movies because you start to see the world as a very weird place. Don’t follow my path.

Tina and Mary are sisters who can’t agree on what to do with the land their mother gave them when she died, land that could never grow corn and was probably haunted and will surely end everyone’s lives. Then again, Tina did steal Mary’s husband, so you can understand why they are fighting.

There’s a scarecrow that gets possessed by the spirit of a child-touching handyman so…you know, I guess there’s an Elm Street in Amityville. That said, the scarecrow looks pretty scary in a few scenes, which is more than you can usually expect from these films.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CHILLER THEATER MONTH: My World Dies Screaming (1958)

EDITOR’S NOTE: My World Dies Screaming was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, May 9, 1964 at 1:00 a.m., Saturday, July 16, 1966 at 11:20 p.m. and Saturday, August 2, 1969 at 1:00 a.m. under the title Terror In the Haunted House. That was its TV title, which was used as part of the 22 film Allied Artists Sci-Fi for the 60s package.

Sheila Wayne (Cathy O’Donnell) has just married Phillip Justin (Gerald Mohr). She’s spent the last 17 years in Switzerland, a place where she had nightmares of a Florida mansion where the mad Tierney family once lived. It’s been abandoned for — you knew it — 17 years. At least that’s what the caretaker, Jonah Snell (John Qualen), says when Phillip drives Sheila to the door, telling her it will be their new home. She freaks out, but just as you’d figure, the car breaks down before they can leave.

Sheila has been dreaming of this place for years and remembers that a tree says SW+PT. When she looks at the actual tree, that is carved into it. When Mark Snell (William Ching) visits, he calls her Ms. Tierney and that’s when she starts to put it all together. Phillip is PT, Phillip Tierney. He tells her that the two years she spent in a hospital as a child were to forget what happened in this house, but if she goes into the attic, she will be cured. She refuses.

Jonah tells her that Matthew Tierney – Philip’s grandfather – killed his sons Lawrence and Samuel in the attic with an axe. This makes Phillip, Samuel’s son, the last of the Tierneys. Or maybe not, as Mark accuses them of gaslighting her. That’s when she finally goes to the attic and remembers that Jonah is Mark’s father and that he killed everyone out of jealousy, then paid for Sheila and her family to go to Switzerland for treatment. Mark ends up killing him before he can tell her, but after he battles Phillip, he gets stabbed on his own axe.

This was originally filmed with the Precon Process — called Psychorama — which used subliminal messages and exaggerated supraliminal symbols. Only one other movie, A Date With Death, uses Psychorama. However, most of the subliminals are edited out of the versions that are available today. In Kevin Heffernan’s Ghouls, Gimmicks, and Gold: Horror Films and the American Movie Business 1953–1968, the messages are described as “…single frame, hidden images such as skulls, knives, and spelled words like death designed to trigger the audience’s emotional responses. These subliminal imprints remain below the level of consciousness of the viewer, supposedly causing a palpable but unexplainable dread and horror.” He also claims that other messages include “a devil face, a bug-eyed face, a skull (in red), a cobra head and the message “scream bloody murder.””

You can watch this on YouTube.

 

CHILLER THEATER MONTH: Hands of a Stranger (1962)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Hands of a Stranger was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, July 10, 1965 at 1:00 a.m. and Saturday, October 25, 1969 at 1:00 a.m.

Concert musician Vernon Paris’ hard work has finally paid off. He’s become the biggest star there is. That’s when his hands are ruined in an auto accident and Dr. Gil Harding amputates them — with no authority — and replaces them with the hands of a murderer, all in the hopes that Paris can play piano again. Sure, the transplant is a success, but Paris becomes unhinged and increasingly violent toward those he blames for him needing his killer new mitts.

Sure, this is based on the 1920 novel Les Mains d’Orlac by French writer Maurice Renard, but the real draw is the absolutely over the top slasher like violence — well, as good as it gets in 1962 — throughout the film. First, Paris argues with his former girlfriend Eileen, who can’t love him as a normal man and craves the limelight that dating him gave her. Her dress catches on fire as they fight and she burns alive. Later, Skeet, the son of the taxi driver who caused the accident, enrages Victor by being able to play the piano when he cannot. He crushes the child’s hands, then smashes his head open.

Keep your eyes peeled for a very young Sally Kellerman and Irish McCalla, who was TV’s Sheena: Queen of the Jungle. This isn’t a great movie, per se, but it’s over the top and filled with brimming menace. It’s also anything but boring!

2024 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 10: Frankenhooker (1990)

10. NEW YORK NEW YORK: A slice and dice set in the city so nice they named it New York.

Has there ever been a better video box?

Jeffrey Franken (James Lorinz) is a bioelectrical scientist who works at a power plant. His life in New Jersey was going so well until his fiancee Elizabeth’s (Patty Mullen) father (J.J. Clark) gives him a lawnmower as a wedding present. It goes wild — yes, really — and mows down Elizabeth.

Anyone else would move on or kill themselves. Not Jeffrey. He gets into self-trepanation, drilling holes into his own skull to take the edge off, as well as eating dinner surrounded by all of Elizabeth’s body parts that he could find. But hey, he knows circuits. So maybe he should leave New Jersey and go to New York City and kill sex workers to build his wife the perfect body, because that’s worked out so well in so many movies like The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.

Jeffrey rents all of Zorro’s (Joseph Gonzalez) girls for one night but gets second thoughts about giving them the super crack he’s invented. They find it, they smoke it, they blow up real good. And now Jeffrey has to assemble a puzzle of bloody body parts to create the perfect new body for his fiancee. She’s impressed but angry at where the parts came from and that she’s slept with — and blown to pieces — several clients before she got her memory back.

This ends with a monster made of sex worker parts dragging an evil pimp to a dungeon and Jeffrey’s head on another woman so that he and his bride can be in love forever. That’s creative.

Another trip into the hellish New York City of Frank Henenlotter, this was a movie that screamed at you in the horror department of your mom and pop video rental place. Literally. The box could talk. The movie that was inside more than lives up to the marketing.

This has an awesome cast. Beverly Bonner shows up as Casey, the same character she played in Brain DamageBasket Case and Basket Case 2. Elizabeth’s mother is Louise Lasser, the star of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. Horror host Zacherly is the weatherman. The girls of Zorro are played by Kimberly Taylor (Bedroom Eyes II), Charlotte J. Helmkamp (Playboy December 1982 Playmate of the Month), Jennifer Delora, Lia Chang, Susan Napoli (Penthouse Pet of the Month February 1986, AKA Stephanie Ryan in mainstream movies and Carrie McKayan in adult films), adult legend Heather Hunter, Gittan Goding, Vicki Darnell, Sandy Colosimo, Kathleen Gati and Sonya Hensley.

As for Spike the bartender, that’s the awesome Shirley Stoler from The Honeymoon Killers.

You can watch this on Tubi.