Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year, they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which works to save the lives of cats and dogs across America, giving pets second chances and providing them with happy homes.

Today’s theme: 1980s

Italy, you’re my favorite.

La Bestia nello Spazio earns its The Beast In Space title because it features Sirpa Lane, a star of The Beast (and Immoral Tales, the movie that it was initially part of), in a story reminiscent of Beauty and the Beast. Roger Vadim saw Lane as the next Bardot, a vision that led her to  Papaya: Love Goddess of the Cannibals. Tragically, she passed away from AIDS in 1999.

Captain Larry (Vassili Karis) may live in the future, but there are still bars and still women to pick up in bars, like Sondra (Lane). He steals her from another man, just as a vial he also took ends up containing Antalium, a very important McGuffin that can be used to make bombs. Larry gets a crew and heads off to Lorigon, which is where this element is from, to get as much of it as he can.

The man that Larry fought at the bar, Juan Cardoso (Venantino Venantini), is on his way to this planet and sends a giant robot — the one that has been in Sondra’s dreams — after them. And the planet is run by a computer, Zocor, which makes everyone have sex because this is an Italian movie.

There are light sabers, space horses having space horse sex, dudes in gold body paint, a space satyr penis and all of the costumes and effects from Alfonso Brescia’s other space films, Cosmos: War of the Planets, Battle of the Stars, War of the Planets and Star Odyssey. But this is more The Black Hole than Star Wars. I’m not just saying that because it has an XXX cut.

Brescia also went by the name Al Bradley, the name he used to make the wild Ator remix film Iron Warrior, the Richard Roundtree-starring Miami Cops, the David Hess-starring giallo Omicidio a luci blu, Killer Caliber .32, If One Is Born a Swine, Naked Girl Murdered In the Park, Super Stooges vs. the Wonder Woman, and so many more. I’m just shocked that he somehow went from Lucas rip-offs to suddenly making a porny science fiction movie. But you know Italy. Whatever sells.

I watched this with inserts, but you can watch an edited version on YouTube.