Remember a few weeks ago when I watched La cripta de las condenadas? This is supposed to be a hundred years later and Fata Morgana is still in control of these women — Carmen Montes from Snakewoman, Eva Palmer from Jess Franco’s Perversion and actresses who only appeared in this film and its sequel: Marta Simoes, Olivia Deveraux and María Traven — who are trapped in what should be a crypt but is really Jess Franco’s apartment and man, what was it with the seventies, sex and wicker? And this is thirty some odd years later?

I’m putting to the test that theory that you’ve never seen a Franco movie until you’ve seen them all. Somehow, he convinced these women to writhe all over his big shaggy carpet and in bed and yes, on that wicker, and made it seem like the angel of death was coming for them through some words pasted in parts, if you could remain awake to read them, that is.

That said, if you can get a career doing what you love — and we have to imagine that like Sisyphus had to love the rock, Franco loved zooming in tight on pubic mounds — then you’re a success. Jess made money from this and he succeeded from beyond the grave by having people like me watching movies like this.