JESS FRANCO MONTH: Snakewoman (2005)

As they seek to gain the rights to cult movie star Oriana Balasz’s (Carmen Montes, Paula-Paula) estate, a company sends Carla (Fata Morgana, Vampire JunctionKiller Barbys vs. Dracula) to get her heirs to make the deal.

Of course, Oriana is still alive, a deathless female vampire with a full body snake tattoo who could only exist within the world of a Jess Franco movie.

There’s also a woman named Alpha (Christie Levin, Red Silk) who has been put in a trance by a monk named Nostradamus (Antonio Mayans) and who is obsessed with Oriana as well.

Now, imagine all that and throw away any attempt at there being a plot and instead just long languid scenes of Montes undulating and seducing Morgana. And then Dr. Van Helsing (Lina Romay) attempts to cure Carla of her feelings for Oriana before we see the footage that was in such high demand, a vampiric vision of Oriana brutally draining a male member of more fluids than you’d expect.

So yes, when I say, this is a retelling of Vampyros Lesbos, I want you to realize that this is late Franco, a time when one lovemaking scene can last for a quarter of the movie and have almost one long static shot that seems to never end, achieving peak drone levels, as strange dialogue like “Men and women are united by the ass.” and “I like it. I like pretty asses in general.” which is dialogue that seems like it belongs in John Stagliano movie instead of a story of a 1920s sapphic unliving snake woman making her presence felt across the decades.

Only in a Jess Franco movie can house long uninterrupted stretches of female love scenes, encircling their thighs around one another as visuals of birds soaring into an unfeeling sky play across your mind. It’s not perfect, it struggles, but it takes flight — or crawls through the filth — and for that, we are better.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.