Day: December 25, 2017

To finish out this season of movies, allow me to give you the gift of my favorite film ever. There’s nothing better than a portmanteau and there was no studio better at making them than Amicus. This is a monument to that studio, their main director Freddie Francis and British horror royalty Peter Cushing all in […]

This is the absolute bottom of the holiday barrel, a trip through hell that one can never prepare themselves for. You think you’ve known pain? You’ve known nothing, to quote Samhain. On Mars, Momar and Kimar are worried that their children, Girmar (Pia Zadora, who also sang the horrifying song “Hooray for Santa Claus,” but let’s forgive […]

At one point in this movie, Santa Claus gets shoved down by Billy, our hero, and he yells, “What the hell is wrong with that kid?” And I yelled in defense, “Santa raped his mom, you fucking asshole!” Merry Christmas, everyone, it’s time to descend into the absolute nadir of scummy movies and watch something […]