Cecilia (Aisha Dee) and Emma (Hannah Barlow, who co-directed and co-wrote this with Kane Senes) were best friends ten years ago, but life — and something horrifying that we see in a flashback, one of the absolute grossest effects I think I’ve seen in some time — had them move apart. They run into each other, Cecelia is invited on a hens’ weekend to a remote cabin and she runs into her old bully Alex (Emily De Margheriti) and yeah, this getaway is not ending well.
Cecilia has overcome her childhood bullying through self-help. She’s not a doctor, doesn’t profess to be one and does seem to genuinely help other people. She’s also certifiably deranged and even though you can explain so much away from the people she kills, she still kills people.
I’m not a fan of influencers, nor this whole new influencers in horror thing, but this movie is a candy colored slasher and Dee is really good in it. It’s nowhere near the glory slashers of our youth, but come on, did you expect a movie about a murderous slasher to approach the hallowed days of 1978-1981? Don’t. But do expect to be entertained. And don’t ever urinate on a social media influencer’s craft project. Add that to the whole don’t fuck in the woods rules.
Most sequels and prequels rely too much on the movie that they gestate from. Yet Ti West’s Pearl does what seems to be impossible: it takes a movie I really liked, X, and makes me love it. Together, these movies become so much more than the sum of their parts, creating a reflection in the same way the letter that informs them, that denotes pornography, that crosses out the violence on your old TV screen, bifurcating your mind and giving you so much more than you expected.
Back in 1918, during a very different pandemic, Pearl (Mia Goth) is trapped in Texas while her husband Howard fights in World War I. Her father is a shell of a human being, paralyzed and unable to even communicate, while her mother Ruth (Tandi Wright) keeps her on the farm, taking care of the dying man and the crops and serving as her whipping girl. Pearl dreams of a life far from here, of being special, of performing and oh yes, she may also be deranged.
Pearl dreams of more than just being in movies; as she watches them, she’s inspired to be more. She imagines the scarecrow in the cornfield is the projectionist (David Corenswet) who gives her attention. She makes love to it in a way that she never has with her husband. That same projectionist shows her A Free Ride, considered to be the first American hardcore movie, and that night, after she sets her mother on fire and leaves her to die from her burns, she makes love to that man.
There’s an audition for dancers for a traveling show and Pearl must be in that show. By now, she’s already pitchforked that projectionist, her mother and father, all acts that she confesses to her sister-in-law Mitsy (Emma Jenkins-Purro).
For nearly eight minutes, Goth breaks the film, explaining who she is and what she’s been through; a husband who has basically abandoned her, the joy she had when his child inside her died and how much she enjoys killing things. It’s astounding, a moment that takes this movie away from basic slasher into psychobiddy — and I say that with sheer delight and absolute kindness — territory.
How heartbreaking then that Howard arrives the next morning to discover his wife serving a maggot-filled pig to her dead parents, holding a smile that goes through the entire credits and dissolves into tears?
West, the director and writer, had worked on this with Goth as a backstory for her character but after dealing with COVID-19 filmmaking, he decided to keep working and make the prequel as soon as the filming of X wrapped, saying “I came out of quarantine and I was like, “We’re already building all of this stuff, it’s COVID and we’re on the one place on Earth where it’s safe to make a movie.””
He saw this film as being a combination of a Douglas Sirk film, Mary Poppins, The Wizard of Oz and a “demented Disney” film, while the film combined Mario Bava with, obviously, Tobe Hooper.
Both films show how Hollywood has influenced people for better or, well, let’s be honest — worse.
This isn’t the end, as Maxine will continue in MaXXXine. West says, “I’m trying to build a world out of all this, like people do these days. You can’t make a slasher movie without a bunch of sequels.”
Art by Shawn Mansfield.
I often despise any of the films of today, the ones I’m told that I must see. But since House of the Devil, I’ve been on board with West. It’s not always perfect, but I can say that he definitely makes movies that I in no way expect. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
As Ozzy was fired/quit/we can debate that from Black Sabbath, his solo career was incredibly exciting, not just to see what the singer would do next, but because he’d be joined by Randy Rhodes, a young guitar genius from the band Quiet Riot. It didn’t last — Randy died at the young age of 25 in a plane crash — but the legacy has.
This documentary — directed by Andre Relis, written by Michael Bruining and narrated by Tracii Guns — tells his story, from starting in his mother Delores’ music school to being a guitarist copied by nearly everyone. A 1971 Alice Cooper concert — and seeing Glen Buxton and Mick Ronson play live — gave Rhodes the dream to do this for a living. In turn, he inspired so many.
With interviews from Ozzy Osbourne, Dana Strum, Ron Sobol, Rudy Sarzo and Eddie Van Halen, as well as footage of Rhodes performing with Quiet Riot and Osbourne, this is a great film for those that love guitar playing, heavy metal or just want to explore early 80s pop culture.
The sequel to the spin-off prequel Minions and the fifth movie in the Despicable Me franchise, this is actually the first I’ve seen. And you know, I liked it! Directed by Kyle Balda and written by Matthew Folgel, this episode takes place in 1976 as the young Gru (Steve Carrell) tries to join his dream supervillain team, Vicious 6, which is made up of Belle Bottom (Taraji P. Henson), Jean-Clawed (yes, JCVD!), Svengeance (Dolph Lundgren), Stronghold (Danny Trejo), Nun-chuck (Lucy Lawless) and Wild Knuckles (Alan Arkin). Plus, you get Julie Andrews as Gru’s mother, the RZA as a biker, Michelle Yeoh as Master Chow and Russell Brand as the record store owning Dr. Nefario.
Oh yeah — Pierre Coffin plays Kevin, Stuart, Bob, Otto and the rest of the Minions. But I was amazed at what this movie does: it gives fathers of a certain age a cast from movies that they grew up loving and gives them a movie that they can enjoy with their kids. How cool is that?
Yeah I know — this site is usually me salivating over giallo. But even I can appreciate a fun kid movie.
This blu ray comes with two mini-movies — Post Modern Minions and Minions and Monsters — as well as an extended scene, outtakes, character profiles, interviews about the inspiration for the movie, a how to draw section and on-disk games where kids can create their own Minion lair and outfits.
A broke and frustrated IT technician (Kyla Frye, who co-wrote this with Sam Benjamin, who plays her love interest of sorts) goes on a one-woman heist stealing data worth millions on the black market. Then she meets a charming con artist (Benjamin) who wants to take her money all for himself. Or her heart. Maybe both. There’s also the villainous Gates (Simon Callow) who has put the whole scheme together and might just take everything from both of them.
The Pay Day may not make you forget any of the Ocean’s movies, but it’s a fun caper. Callow makes for an intriguing villain and the idea of cyber crime is timely enough to make this stand out.
The Pay Day is available on demand today and starts in select theaters Monday, November 14:
Albany-Schenectady-Troy: Cinema 7 in Bennington, VT
Buffalo: Flix Theatre 10 in Depew, NY
Lakewood: Cinema 8 in Lakewood, NY
Burlington-Plattsburgh: Star Cinema 3 in St. Johnsbury, VT
Ft. Myers-Naples: The Prado Stadium 12 in Bonita Springs, FL
Hartford & New Haven: Gallery Cinemas 6 in Colchester, CT
New York: Hillsborough Cinema in Belle Mead, NJ
Cranford Theatre in Cranford, NJ
Hawthorne Cinema 5 in Hawthorne, NJ
Roosevelt Cinemas 7: in Hyde Park, NY
New Paltz Theatre in New Paltz, NY
Cityplex 12 in Newark, NJ
Fabian 8 in Paterson, NJ
Port Jefferson Cinemas 7 in Port Jefferson Station, NY
Lyceum 7 in Red Hook, NY
Montgomery 6 in Rocky Hill, NJ
Pascack Theatre 6 in Westwood, NJ
Reno: Ironwood 8 Cinemas in Minden, NV
Richmond-Petersburg: Essex 5 in Tappahannock, VA
Washington, DC: Berkeley Plaza 7 Theatre in Martinsburg, WV
Kim (Khushi Parekh), Alicia (Shezi Sibongiseni, Terry (Tevin Kunene) and Mark (Shivaan Moodley) enter an old castle where they’re soon attacked by masked figures. Then we meet Catherine (Rio Notra) and Michael (Arish Sirkissoon, who wrote and directed this), who have eloped and are on their way to their honeymoon. Well, Brad and Janet look out, because their car breaks down and they decide to walk to that very same castle and see if they can get some help.
As a wise Lone Star drinker once said, “We’ve seen it all before. But have we seen it all?”
This is a strange United Nations film in that it’s an African production attempting to make a British 60s gothic horror film, which I’m all for. Unfortunately, it often gets way too talky in the place of mood. It also sets up tension between Catherine and her mother — who disowns her by text message! — but then the cultists keep saying that she’s dead. Look, I’m all for being confused by gothic horror, but mostly I need a solid plot to start with.
That said — the film looks good and the location is great. It just needs a better story to work. But I’m still looking out for what Sirkissoon does next.
The Castle is now available on demand from Terror Films.
Sadie (Jonetta Kaiser) is trying to get her life together after a brush with the cops. Working in her cousin’s clothing store, she dreams of a better and much richer life, which is why she finds spending time with Owen (Jermaine Rivers) and Jessica (Kara Royster) so incredible.
Owen trusts Sadie so much that he allows her to stay at his house. Trying to pretend she’s rich, she invites Jessica and a crew of partygoers over, but that night, she watches Jessica kill someone and then helps her hide the body. Sadie gets in way over her head and then has to deal with a detective named Jessica (Kara Royster) trying to get to the bottom of everything. Now Sadie is caught between her former best friend and perhaps going back to jail. And do you really think the cops are going to believe her?
Director and writer Nanea Miyata has made the kind of movie that you once had to watch on Lifetime, but now Tubi has you covered. Look, some free advice, but if you wake up to someone cooking breakfast mere inches from a corpse, don’t help the killer or let them blackmail you. Just run.
Directed and written by Justin Miller, Sleep.Walk.Kill. is about what happens after an Earth-shattering sound heard along the entire East Coast. The next night, people start walking — and killing and chowing down on their prey — in their sleep. Edgar is stuck with his ex-wife Ady, his parents and his neighbors hiding out at his house. And all of these folks may be even worse than the flesh-eaters outside.
Shot in Yardley, PA, this is made with a cast of Philadelphia-based comedians, which helps, as it’s quite talky in parts. It also remembers that zombie fighting idea from Night of the Living Dead: when in doubt, hide in the basement. This movie is unique in that not only does it have sleepwalking zombies — I mean, will they die if you wake them up? — but it also presents the idea that death just might be preferrable than living with your family in close quarters.
Sleep. Walk. Kill. is available on demand and on digital from October Coast.
Once known as Demonic Christmas Tree, get ready for the story of serial killer Clayton Slayter, who even after execution comes back when his wife Magna figures out the kind of body transference voodoo that turns a man into a holiday tree.
Yes, a killer — killing — tree.
Somehow, I got two movies by director Rhys Frake-Waterfield this week. I enjoyed this one much more, as it tries to take the whole concept seriously. Clayton wants revenge on Faith, who put him in jail after he killed her parents, but right now she’s so busy playing marriage counselor to her friends Tina and Louisa that she might not even notice the garland and bulbs inching their way menacingly toward her.
I mean, a tree hunts down a woman while holding a knife. That’s the kind of quality this movie is delivering. Frake-Waterfield also has a slasher Winnie the Pooh, Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey. He might be inventing a whole new genre of child book slashers, as he is also involved with the making of Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare, Mary Had a Little Lamb and Three Blind Mice.
There will come a time very soon that you will need a holiday movie. If you want to make your family think you’ve finally lost your milk and cookies, choose this one to show them all.
Directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield, the man whose Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey got some buzz, and written by Scott Jeffrey (Exorcist Vengeance, Don’t Speak) and Tom Jolliffe, this even has Jeffrey doing more than producing and writing. He’s in this, too.
I learned from this movie that Area 51 is in England and it’s the same bunker from Kingdom of the Dinosaurs. The CGI is either so good you can’t believe it or, you know, so bad you can’t believe it. There’s nothing in between.
When the time comes to defend our planet from aliens that have come from another dimension, the skirmish will be fought by club goers, three unkempt soldiers and some family members of a scientist.
If you’re into movies where people stumble around a basement and get eggs thrown up into their mouths, well, here it is.
The Area 51 Incident is available on demand and on DVD from Uncork’d Entertainment.
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