EUREKA BLU RAY RELEASE: The Adventurers (1995)

Wai Lok-yan (Andy Lau) was just eight years old — during the Khmer Rouge — when his parents were killed as he watched, the victims of Pol Pot, as his father was working for the CIA. Years later, Wai is a member of the Thai Air Force and learns that his father’s murderer — a double agent named Ray Liu (Paul Chun) — is now a rich arms dealer who has moved to America. He makes his way there, thanks to the CIA, but ends up falling in love with Liu’s daughter, Crystal (Jacklyn Wu) and must save her when she’s kidnapped by a gang. Oh yeah — he also has an affair with Liu’s lover, Mona (Rosamund Kwan).

Remember when every Hong Kong director had to work with Van Damme first? Ringo Lam made this before he did Maximum Risk. This was filmed in the U.S., Hong Kong, and the Philippines, showcasing the international scope Lam wanted to achieve in his films.

If you’re going to kill the man who murdered your father, I have some advice for you. Perhaps, just maybe, don’t fall in love with his daughter. I mean, you can cuck him by sleeping with his mistress. That’s fine.

Eureka Classics is releasing this film for the first time in North America from a brand new 2K restoration. A limited edition of 2,000 copies, it features new artwork by Time Tomorrow and includes extras such as audio commentary by film critic David West, interviews with Gary Bettinson and Sandy Shaw, a trailer, and a limited edition collector’s booklet with a new essay by Hong Kong cinema scholar Aaron Han Joon Magnan-Park. You can get it from MVD.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Stuart Saves His Family (1995)

June 16-22 SNL Week: Saturday Night Live is celebrating 50 years on the air, can NBC last for another 50 years??

How does a character who was in short sketches get to be in a movie? Ask nearly everyone in the 1990s who had a recurring Saturday Night Live character.

Al Franken created and played the character Stuart Smalley, basing it on people he met in Al-Anon as he went through it to support his wife. First appearing on February 9, 1991, Stuart shared on his public access show how he was a member of many 12-step groups. He became popular enough to have a book, I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!: Daily Affirmations by Stuart Smalley. This led Harold Ramis to get with Franken and push for a film.

By the way, in Live From New York—an Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live, Franken says that he wanted Mike Myers to play the part, but when they did the read-through, it only worked when he did it, as he wrote it in his voice. Robert Smigel suggested he do the part. He also admitted that he would always be around when Lorne Michaels picked the sketches to make sure Stuart got on.

In the film, Stuart loses his show. He has to come back home for a funeral, facing off with his dysfunctional family of brother Donnie (Vincent D’Onofrio), sister Jodie (Lesley Boone), mom (Shirley Knight), and dad (Harris Yulin). There’s also a battle over where the body will be buried between Dad and his cousins, Ray (Joe Flaherty) and Denise (Robin Duke). By the end, you will be sure of why Stuart has needed all of this therapy, but at least he becomes famous for his self-help and ends up with a good friend, Julia (Laura San Giacomo, always perfect).

Sadly, despite Gene Siskel calling it “smart and hip” and Roger Ebert calling out that “it has more courage than a lot of serious films,” it made under a million at the box office. Stuart would return one more time to the show and cried, yelling, “You didn’t want ‘funny and poignant. You wanted Dumb….and Dumber….and Dumber….and Dumber!” He would also return in 2004 when Al Gore hosted.

This movie’s failure did exactly what Stuart worked to fix. It put Al Franken into a depression. At least it made more than It’s Pat, which grossed $60,000. It’s a sweet film with a good heart and way better than it should be.

JUNESPLOITATION: One Man’s Justice (1995)

June 11: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is ‘90s Action!

I’m the biggest fan of Stone Cold, so I hoped this movie would have the same insanity as Brian Bosworth’s more famous action film. Sadly, no.

This time, rogue FBI agent Karl Savak (Bruce Payne) is selling weapons to our enemies and one of his henchmen, Marcus (Jeff Kober) kills the wife (Deborah Worthing) and daughter (Rachel Duncan) of soldier John North (Bosworth). This is also known as One Tough Bastard, which is appropriate because North survives being shot multiple times and gets his own justice.

Kurt Wimmer (Equilibrium) started his directing here, even if he was removed and replaced by producer Kurt Anderson, who also directed Martial Law II: UndercoverMartial Outlaw and Dead Cold. This was written by Steve Selling, his only writing credit on IMDB.

There’s also M.C. Hammer as nasty dude Dexter Kane and DeJuan Guy from Candyman as a kid who becomes Boz’s sidekick. Yes, a movie where we want to watch Bosworth kill everyone, and he ends up having a kid help him. This is not what anyone wants to see. As good as Payne and Kober are in this, Bosworth’s fights feel like late-era Dusty Rhodes, standing in the center of the ring while his opponents pinball and feed back into him, taking his slow-motion offense and bionic elbows. It feels like going through the motions when I wanted more.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Tales from the Crypt S6 E15: You, Murderer (1995)

Directed by Robert Zemeckis and written A L Katz and Gilbert Adler, this episode is about criminal Lou Spinelli (Robert Sacchi) has gotten plastic surgery from Dr. Oscar Charles (John Lithgow) to look like Humphrey Bogart and has gone legitimate. He’s fallen in love with his assistant Erica (Sherilyn Fenn), but when his ex-wife Betty (Isabella Rossellini) comes back, things get bad all over again.

“Hello. How are you? I’m Fearest Gump. Hi. Care for a shock-olate? You sure? Mummy always said: “Life is like a box of shock-olates. You never know what you’re gonna get. Sometimes you get a fudge-scream, sometimes you get no-guts.” Know what else mummy said? She said: “Scary is as scary does.” Which brings to mind the man in tonight’s terror tale. He’s just dying to get out of the mess he’s in… literally! It’s a little piece of horrid candy I call: “You, Murderer.””

This episode has early CGI to add Bogart’s face.

There are a lot of twists and turns here and Zemeckis comes back from producing to direct an episode as season 6 comes to an end. There are so many twists and turns with Lou comatose and perhaps dead for so much of it.

This story comes from Shock SuspenStories #14. It was written by Otto Binder with and drawn by Bernie Krigstein.

Tales from the Crypt S6 E14: 99 and 44/100 Percent Pure Horror (1995)

Luden Sandelton (Bruce Davison) makes soap for a living as the CEO of Dermasmooth. When the new campaign — created by his wife Willa (Cristi Conaway), who has also been cheating on him — fails, he has to fire her. That doesn’t go over well. Yet even after he’s killed, Luden has a way of coming back up the drain, so to speak.

“Greetings hack and field fans! I hope you’re in the mood for a little fiendly competition. It’s that time of fear again. The annual All Crypt Die Cathalon! I’ve been working out like crazy to get ready. This year I’m really going for the cold. Kind of like the woman in tonight’s tale. It’s a putrid portrait of an up-and-coming young artist that’s sure to leave a nasty taste on your palette. I call it “99 & 44/100% Pure Horror.””

The title for this one comes from the old Ivory Soap advertising slogan that their soap is 99 and 44/100 percent pure. In the 70s, Marilyn Chambers — before acting in Beyond the Green Door — was a model on a box of this soap, which was quite ironic once she became famous.

This was directed and written by Rodman Flenderm, who also made The UnbornLeprechaun 2 and Idle Hands. He also directed “Food for Thought” in season 5.

This episode is based on “99 44/100% Pure Horror!” from Vault of Horror #23. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Davis. In that story, a man kills his boss and takes over his job. He hides the body in the soap itself, which ends up causing his demise.

ARROW VIDEO 4K UHD RELEASE: The Addiction (1995)

Directed by Abel Ferrara and written by Nicholas St. John, who worked on nine movies with Ferrara, this black-and-white film has Kathleen Conklin (Lili Taylor) get bitten by Casanova (Annabella Sciorra) and become a vampire, an addict, or both.

Ferrara made this as a metaphor for drug addiction as he had been on heroin for years and has Kathleen, after hitting bottom at an orgy of death and blood drinking, accepting that she is powerless and needs God as she’s reborn and visits her own grave.

Taylor is incredible and the visuals are so bleak. As always, New York City feels like the end of the world in a Ferrara movie. It also has Christopher Walken, Edie Falco, Jamel Simmonz from the Flatlinerz, Fredro Starr from Onyx and Michael Imperioli in the cast. While some may see it as an arty film filled with pretense, I’d remind them that Ferrera comes from the grindhouse and knows how to use horror to tell a story about something real.

The Arrow Video 4K UHD release of The Addiction has a brand new 4K restoration from the original camera negative by Arrow Films. There are also extras that include a commentary by director Abel Ferrara, moderated by critic and biographer Brad Stevens; Talking with the Vampires, a 2018 documentary about the film featuring actors Christopher Walken and Lili Taylor, composer Joe Delia, cinematographer Ken Kelsch and Ferrara himself; interviews with Ferrara and Stevens; a feature on the editing; a trailer; an image gallery; a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Peter Strain and an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring writing on the film by critic Michael Ewins and an interview with Ferrara by Paul Duane.

You can buy it from MVD on 4K UHD or Blu-ray.

Tales from the Crypt S6 E13: Comes the Dawn (1995)

Colonel Parker (Michael Ironside) and Sergeant Burrows (Bruce Payne) are two veterans who have come to the Alaskan wilderness to hunt, guided by Jeri Drumbeater (Vivian Wu). But these two have a dark past and some evil reasons for being on the hunt.

“Ah. Oh, hello, creeps! It’s your old pal, the big scare-huna, enjoying a little surf and sand. Hey, babe, want me to rub a little sun tan lotion on you? Mm. Boy, do I love the beach. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, you, watch it! Boy, I hate getting sand kicked in my face. I’m not your average 98-pound weakling, you know. For one thing, I don’t weigh that much. I tell you kiddies, I’m going to get that guy! Which brings to mind the two men in tonight’s terror tale. They’re on a little shriek and destroy mission of their own, in a nasty undertaking I call “Comes the Dawn.””

What Jeri doesn’t know is that they’ve already killed her ex-girlfriend, Mona (Susan Tyrrell), who tried to turn them in to the police for being poachers. But what they don’t know is that Jeri is a zombie, killed in Desert Storm by an artillery strike called in by Parker. She’s been waiting for him for years, living among the vampires that make Alaska their home.

This episode was directed by John Herzfeld, who directed and wrote 2 Days In the Valley. It was written by Scott Nimerfro, who also wrote ten other episodes.

It’s based on “Comes the Dawn!” from Haunt of Fear #26, which Otto Binder wrote and Jack Davis drew. The synopsis is close: “A man barricades himself in an Arctic cabin to hide from the vampire outside…but there’s no daylight.”

Tales from the Crypt S6 E12: Doctor of Horror (1995)

Directed and written by Larry Wilson (BeetlejuiceThe Little Vampire), this episode has Charlie (Travis Tritt) and Richard (Hank Azaria) working the night shift as security guards who get mixed up with the body stealing Dr. Orloff (Austin Pendleton). The lesson in this episode is to never murder a friend for a mad scientist.

“Yeah, kids these days with their long hair. You can’t even tell the boils from the ghouls. And when they do want a cut, they go to one of those fancy salons like Jose Slay-ber or Videad Sassoon. It’s enough to make you terror your hair out. Hmm. I guess that towel was a little too hot. Still, I think it’s a good look for you. Once it’s groan out, I’m sure you’ll love it. Which brings to mind the young men in tonight’s terror tale. They’re about to try a new scare style as well, in a delightful little die-job I call “Doctor of Horror.””

Ben Stein shows up as the bad boss and while this doesn’t have much of a story, it does have some gore. Sometimes, that’s enough.

This was based on “Doctor of Horror” from Vault of Horror #13. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Graham Engels. It’s a different story, as Professor LeMonet digging up corpses to get more students into his class. By the end, though, he’s gotten greedy and starts paying criminals to murder people instead of waiting for bodies to expire.

Mr. Stitch (1995)

Subject 3 (Wil Wheaton) has been made by Dr. Rue Wakeman (Rutger Hauer) from the bodies of several people as part of some wild experiment. He’s given a Bible to read and names himself Lazarus, has dreams of his past bodies that he tries to explain to Dr. Elizabeth English (Nia Peeples) and wonders why he has so many of the thoughts of Dr. Frederick Texarian (Ron Perlman).

Directed and written by Roger Avary, this was a SyFy pilot that became a TV movie for the channel. It wasn’t without issues, as Hauer threw away the script and refused to do any scenes from it, improvising all of his dialogue. This meant that Avary had to rewrite his movie to match whatever Hauer did. Avary told Entertainment Weekly, “Mr. Stitch was a nightmare to make. Nobody ever knew the movie Rutger was making. I collaborated with him as much as any human should allow himself to.”

What ended up in the movie is pretty good, thanks to Tom Savini effects, Ron Jeremy as a cop (it was the 90s) and Taylor Negron making me miss how he could take any film and make it better.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Private Obsession (1995)

In Italy, when erotic thrillers became big sellers on cable and video, old masters came back, like Martino and Mattei, to make Giallo movies that were softcore or adult thrillers or whatever title people wanted to sell them as. And in America, I wondered, why didn’t the names of the past come back? Brad Sykes recommended this one to me. As the credits started, Lee Frost’s name came up, and I instantly jumped from my chair and fell to the ground like an old person who needed a Life Alert. Rolling around and yelling as I struggled to get up from the weight of my office chair, I started laughing like a lunatic.

Fuck yes, Lee Frost!

Like the Italian masters — lunatics — I worship, Lee Frost used a ton of names, like David Kayne, R.L. Frost, F.C. Perl, Elov Peterson, Les Emerson, Carl Borch, Leoni Valenti, no, and so many more. He started with sexploitation like Surftide 77 and the baffling in a good way The House on Bare Mountain before going deep into roughies like The DefilersThe Pick-Up and The Animal, as well as American mondos like Mondo Bizarro, Mondo Freudo and The Forbidden.

Just like Italian exploitation fiends who jumped from trend to trend depending on what was hot, Frost made Westerns (Hot SpurThe Scavengers), biker films (Chrome and Hot Leather), occult movies (Witchcraft ’70), horror (The Thing with Two Heads), hicksploitation (Dixie Dynamite), Naziploitation (Love Camp 7), blacksploitation (The Black Gestapo) and porn. Yeah, you knew that was coming. But Frost made A Climax of Blue Power, the kind of adult movie that looked at porno chic and said, “What if we made something that upsets everyone that sees it?”

Somewhere in here, Frost had the time to write Race With the Devil.

How can we make this better for me? What if it were an Emanuelle — well, Emanuelle Griffith — movie? And what if Shannon Whirry played the role?

She’s a supermodel, yes, just like so many of the many Emanuelles that we have come to love. She’s also a female empowerment person who gives TED talks to other women about how men have to give up their control of the world, saying, “Good morning, ladies, and welcome to a man’s world!”

This enrages Richard Tate (Michael Christian, oh wow, Eddie from Poor Pretty Eddie), who kidnaps her and forces her to be debased. Detective Sam Weston (Bo Svenson) is looking for her, as is Sergeant Jim Lytel (Tony Burton, Apollo Creed’s trainer). Along the way, Rip Taylor plays a travel agent, Francine York is the leader of the feminist club that has Emanuelle speak, Whirry has to cover herself in butter to get through a dog door naked and then decides to drink water out of a toilet. It’s like Lee Frost hadn’t made a movie in more than a decade, because that’s true, and he decided to get it all out of his system because this was the last movie he’d make.

Yes, a captive Whirry, forced to eat fancy meal while watching a stalker on a monitor, long monologues from both leads and the kind of quality that lands a movie on a video store shelf with masking tape and a magic marker warning you that you have to be 18. And even if you are, you should watch this in the shower to save time because of how many times you’ll need a shower.

What would make it the absolute number one and the best? What if Lee Frost has a cameo? There’s also a song called “Feminazi March,” written by Frost, which combines sexploitation and Nazis, two things he definitely got boners over.

I don’t know who this movie is for other than me, but for all my complaints that erotic thrillers aren’t out on DVD, MVD has you covered. You can get this from them, along with the Julie Strain movie Midnight Confessions.