My search for new movies leads me many places. Sometimes, you see the names Russ Tamblyn (Satan’s Sadists) and Lyle Waggoner (Love Me Deadly) and you say, let’s take a chance. And then you regret it in the way one regrets saying, “OK, just nine more slices of pizza.”

Lord Khoura (Waggoner) and Ulric (Tamblyn) have battled over the Blade of Aktar for years. Now, Ulric’s daughter Melina has enlisted a swordsman called Thane to get the sword and her father back.

There are exactly three reasons to watch this: Lawrence Tierney from Pulp Fiction as a slavemaster, Michael Berryman shows up and stop-motion dinosaurs.

According to director Fred Olen Ray, there were sets left over from Roger Corman’s The Masque of the Red Death remake. Before they were taken down, he wrote a film, hired actors and shot the film in four days, then shot Bad Girls from Mars in the day that he had left.

Make no mistake. This movie is a complete waste of time. And not even an interesting one. If anything, please use my painful time enduring this film as a warning to never suffer through it yourself. If you really want to watch it, it’s on Amazon Prime.

In the 80’s, Brian Bosworth was a big deal. A two time All-American with the Barry Switzer-coached Oklahoma Sooners, he wrote his autobiography during his first season with the Seattle Seahawks. Bosworth was a pro wrestler in real life, talking shit on the NCAA, publically claiming he would contain Bo Jackson (he didn’t) and trash talking John Elway so much that 10,000 Denver fans bought and wore “Ban the Boz” t-shirts. And those T-shirts? He manufactured and sold them.

Yep, Bosworth knew how to play the media game, even if his NFL career ended after three seasons. But what was next?

Acting. Of course! And the first film that Bosworth starred in was Stone Cold, a tough cop versus evil bikers epic.

Joe Huff (Bosworth) has been suspended for how rough he is on criminals. In fact, the film starts with him decimating several crooks that are robbing a supermarket. A government agent blackmails him into going undercover to stop a white supremacist biker gang, The Brotherhood.

The gang is led by Chains Cooper (Lance Henriksen, Near Dark), who is over the top insane. Just seeing the stuff the gang does in the opening montage will give you an idea of how amazing this film is going to be — they shotgun a priest through a stained glass window seconds into the start of the movie.

Joe becomes John Stone, but the rest of the gang doesn’t accept him. And his FBI contact Lance (Sam McMurray, Raising Arizona) is a germophobe who is really no help at all.

To finally be part of the gang, Joe/John has to kill a man. The FBI helps him fake the kill, but Chains’ top guy, Ice (William Forsythe, The Devil’s Rejects) still doesn’t believe in him. Luckily, a high-speed motorcycle chase leads to his death and our hero is in.

The gang has one goal: to kill DA Brent “The Whip” Whipperton, who has announced that he is going to become Governor of Mississippi and get tough on crime. They’ve stolen military weapons and plan on attacking the Supreme Court to save one of their own, the guy who killed that priest.

Joe/John falls in love with Nancy, Chains’ girl and offers her immunity if she cooperates. But then the man our hero had supposedly killed shows back up and the Brotherhood declares war on him. Chains takes the news that Nancy is cheating on him by shooting her, while he plans on putting a bomb on Joe/John’s body and dropping him from a helicopter onto the courthouse.

The gang manages to kill the DA, but our hero survives and kicks the shit out of Chains. Yet he is merciful and lets the man live. Bad idea — the villain grabs a gun and comes back for Joe/John, who is saved by Lance.

Stone Cold was originally going to be directed by Bruce Malmuth (Hard to Kill, Nighthawks), but personal problems led to the backstory of Bosworth’s character being removed from the movie and Craig R. Baxley (Action Jackson, I Come in Peace) taking over.

This movie is everything awesome about 80’s and 90’s action films and their cliches. Yet it’s even better, because you have Lance Henriksen writing all of his own dialogue, plenty of explosions, even more nudity, Bosworth’s impressive hair and outfits, and a fight scene between WWE’s one time heir apparent to Hulk Hogan, Tom Magee (seriously, he had a try out against Bret Hart that convinced everyone that he was going to be someone until everyone realized that Bret was the reason the match was so good) and Bosworth. And hey, how did Bosworth never get into pro wrestling, what with him coming from the same school as Steve “Dr. Death” Williams and being friends with Jim Ross?

I have no idea how this isn’t a movie that is treasured and celebrated by genre geeks, as is Patrick Swayze’s Road House. It’s such a time capsule of how one man captivated our attention and became a major star before disappearing.

You can grab it from Olive Films. And you definitely should.

This is Fulci’s next to last movie, dedicated “to my few real friends, in particular to Clive Barker and Claudio Carabba.” At this point, Fulci was shooting TV movies and direct to video stuff, often lending his name to lesser directors.

Giorgio Mainardi lies dying, surrounded by his uncaring family, wondering why. He has an internal hemorrhage from an ulcer and nothing can be done. His daughter Rosie comes for the funeral and the reading of Giogio’s will, which has caused a family rift. Giogio’s stepmother refuses an autopsy. Giorgio’s father is on death’s door from a stroke. And Giogio’s stepbrother was having an affair with his third wife. It’s Fulci, the soap opera!

Giogio is rotting away in his coffin, but his spirit communicates with Rosie. At the funeral, everyone remembers the dead man and how he treated them. Lucy remembers that he hated how frigid she was. Mario remembers being humiliated. Hilda remembers how cheap he was. And Rita, his mistress, remembers him going back to his wife and cutting her off. In short, Giogrio loved — and was loved by — nobody. It gets worse — Rosie gets the entire will, but Lucy is allowed to stay in the house. However, there is no money for David, Lucy’s son who Giogio would not claim as his own.

An autopsy happens despite protests and the pathologist (hello, Fulci!) discovers the small intestines are damaged. And those intestines — kept for further observation — are destroyed.

Despite Hilda’s objections, an autopsy on Giorgio goes ahead. The pathologist (Lucio Fulci) takes a sample of his small intestines and discovers some lacerations to the interior wall. He puts the sample in a jar of formaldehyde for later inspection. A little later, Rosie and her college boyfriend Gianni (Lorenzo Flaherty) discover that the jar containing the organ pieces removed from Giorgio’s corpse has been “accidentally” smashed. But Gianni, a medical student with access to the pathology lab, tells Rosie that he’d found tiny splinters of glass in the intestines before the accident accrued later that night. He suggests that they go the police with their suspicions, but Rosie, who is now frequently and telepathically in touch with the spirit of her dead father, insists they investigate themselves rather than attract a public scandal.

After some twists and turns, Hilda is revealed to be the culprit, using David as her patsy. She created a game where he would use a mortar and pestle to smash up light bulbs and put them in Giogio’s ice cubes. However, instead of informing the police, Rosie tells the family that her father will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

There are plenty of gory dream sequences, a decomposing corpse and lots of blood being vomited. It’s not his best film, but it’s interesting. And definitely worth watching.

UPDATE: You can watch this for free with an Amazon Prime membership.

Sometimes, you end up loving a movie for what it could be way more than for what it is.

Popcorn would be one of those films.

Buried somewhere in its slasher framing story and four films within a film, there are some great ideas that should have been explored further. And the closer the film gets to its conclusion, the more it starts to explain itself. I’m more in the John Carpenter camp when it comes to too much information — I’m often just fine not needing to know every motivation of a film’s villain. To wit — I don’t need to know that Michael Myers made papier-mache masks to assuage his pain. I don’t even need to know that he’s a human being. I just want the story to thrill me.

Popcorn was filmed entirely in Kingston, Jamaica — which explains the later dance numbers. That’s right. Dance numbers. The more you watch this film, the more incongruous it becomes. The production was also fraught with changes, as Alan Ormsby was originally the film’s director, before being replaced by Porky’s actor Mark Herrier several weeks into filming.

Ormsby has a crazy bio — in addition to working with Bob Clark on Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things, Deranged and Death Dream, he also wrote Paul Schrader’s remake of Cat People and My Bodyguard. And strangely, he’s also credited with creating Kenner’s 1975 action figure Hugo: Man of a Thousand Faces!

At the same time, Jill Schoelen (The Stepfather) replaced original lead, Amy O’Neill. In fact, Schoelen barely was in scenes with the rest of the cast because so much had already been filmed, so she mostly appeared in reshoots! Even the title had something to do with a plot element that was edited from the final film, but the producers and distributor liked it so much, it was retained.

The film begins with Maggie Butler (Schoelen), an aspiring movie writer and college student, who has recurring nightmares that she is a young girl named Sarah. These dreams — in which a strange man stalks her — happen so often that she has an audio diary of them. Those very same dreams may or may not be connected to the prank phone calls that her mom Suzanne (Dee Wallace Stone, The Howling, E.T., Critters and many more) has been getting.

Sarah is also dating Mark (Derek Rydall, Eric from Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge), who tries to get her to come to his dorm room. She can’t — the script that she’s writing based on her dreams is more important. And so is the all-night horrorthon (JOIN US FOR THE HORRO-RITUAL!) that the school’s film department is putting on. It’s all Toby D’Amato’s (Tom Villard, who was one of the first 90s actors to openly admit that he was dying from AIDS) idea — with the goal of purchasing new editing equipment. NOTE: One assumes that Toby is named for Joe D’Amato, director of Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals, Antropophagus, Absurd, Troll 2 and the Ator the Fighting Eagle series, plus 200 or more films.

The kids convert the Dreamland Theater — due to be destroyed in three weeks — with the help of Professor Davis (Tony Roberts, Annie Hall, Amityville 3-D) and a quick cameo from Ray Walston as Dr. Mnesyne, the provider of the props that will go with the films.

Ah, those films — these movies-within-a-movie provide the best part of Popcorn. They are:

Mosquito: This 3-D film is a tribute to nature gone wild and nuclear terror movies of the 1950s. Even better, it pays tribute to Emergo, the technology (well, as far as sliding a skeleton down a rope can be called technology) that William Castle used to gimmick up The House on Haunted Hill.

The Attack of the Amazing Electrified Man: A callback to films like The Amazing Colossal Man, while at the same time it’s a nod to German expressionistic camera angles (certainly an odd blend). There’s a great scene here where the Electrified Man battles a gang of greasers armed with switchblades. There’s another gimmick here called “Shock-o-Scope” which is another tribute to William Castle and his film The Tingler.

The Stench: This is obviously a dubbed Japanese film, ala The Green Slime, but with the added gimmick of Odorama. There have been actual movies that use this technology, such as Scent of Mystery and, more dear to this author’s heart, John Waters’ Polyester.

Possessor: Found within Dr. Mnesyne’s — his name translates as memory — equipment, this short film is the most interesting part of Popcorn. It’s supposed to be a snuff film made by a Mansonesque cult of acidheads, but it looks and feels like something straight out of José Mojica Marins’ oeuvre (known as Coffin Joe, he’s made some of the strangest and best-titled films ever, such as At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul and This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse). Seriously, this strange little film, in which a voice just says “possessor” over and over and over while blood fills the screen is awesome. If only the rest of the film — and one scene I’ll get to shortly — had been as imaginative and odd as this, we’d have a real winner on our hands.

Just by watching Possessor, Maggie passes out and has another nightmare. Upon awakening, Professor Davis informs the class that the film comes from Lanyard Gates (Bruce Glover, father of Crispin Hellion Glover), the leader of the aforementioned cult who ended his final film by killing his family onstage while the theater burned down in flames around the audience. There were no survivors and no explanation for why the film survived.

As Maggie grows more and more obsessed with the film, her mother becomes upset, telling her to just quit the film festival. That night, her mother gets a call from Lanyard Gates, telling her to meet him at the festival and to bring a gun.

The next day, when Maggie mans the box office, a man buys a ticket and calls her Sarah. She freaks, thinking it’s Gates. Meanwhile, just as the Professor is about to launch the mosquito prop during the film cue, a shadowy figure takes control of it, impaling him. Then, we see the same figure making a mask of the dead man’s face.

Oh yeah — Maggie’s mom shows up to the theater with a gun and in the best scene of the film, Gates takes over reality, transforming the marquee to read “POSSESSOR.” That said — this scene has NOTHING to do with the rest of the film, as our villain has no such psychic or reality warping powers.

No one will believe Maggie’s story and the films continue. A student named Tina (Freddie Marie Simpson, who along with Megan Cavanagh and Tracy Reiner, appeared in both the movie and TV series A League of Their Own) has been having an affair with the Professor, whose doppelganger kills her and then uses her body to electrocute wheelchair bound Bud while he sets off the buzzing seats during the next film.

When Maggie finds his body, she runs into Gates and has a flashback. Turns out that she’s really his daughter, Sarah Gates and Suzanne is not her mother, but her aunt who saved her. She tells all to Toby, who turns out to not be Gates, but his imitator. He was badly burned at the only showing of Possessor and holds Maggie and her aunt responsible. He prepares them both for his final act…of murder!

While setting up the Odorama, Leon is killed by Toby (but not before he pees all over him), yet he stops from killing Joanie when she confesses her unrequited love for him — an odd choice for a slasher film.

Whew. There are so many unnecessary characters and extra girlfriends and weird asides like a landlord who wants to be an actor which, honestly, take away from the film. Long story short, Toby reenacts the end of Possessor to the jeers of the crowd, revealing his full face — a gruesome visage of wires and burned flesh. Luckily, he’s killed by the Mosquito prop just in time to save everyone — which is either a cheap repeat or a previous kill or a sly comment on sequels. Let’s go with the former. That said — it has a really nice pre-Go Pro mounted camera effect as Toby dies, but not before hearing the cheers of the crowd.

Honestly, Popcorn is a mess. But it’s an enjoyable mess. It’s simultaneously a tribute to 1950s black and white gimmick films while attempting to be meta commentary on the slasher genre, with none of the teeth of a film like Scream. There are ridiculous parts, like death by toilet and a way too long musical number where a reggae band plays while a cosplay heavy crowd dances and Toby going from quiet kid to Freddy Krueger clone in the too quick conclusion to the tale. Throw in a balls out bonkers end song — “Scary Scary Movies” — that features lyrics like “psycho on the move got a blade two feet long, kisses for his wife while he slices the bitch….so long!” screamed at the top the rapper’s lungs and you have something worth watching.

As an aside, the rapper Kabal has been doing entire albums of cheesy rap songs from horror movies. He even covered the theme from Popcorn!

There’s a heart and inventiveness to the film. There’s a real love for movies in here, particularly the fun promotional style of William Castle. It’s definitely worth a watch, as the 90 minute or so runtime practically flies by. And while this film was impossible to find for years, Synapse Pictures has finally released a Blu Ray, so no need to buy bootlegs!

This article originally appeared in Drive-In Asylum.

Between Ed Sanders’ book The Family — which examines the origins of Manson’s Family — and Maury Terry’s The Ultimate Evil — which suggests that a worldwide network of Satanists is responsible for the Manson family and Son of Sam murders, we’ve come to accept the notion of an organized army of evil. But who are they?

In the revised 2002 edition of The Family, Sanders referenced the Process Chuch of the Final Judgement as the “satanic group of English origin” behind these killings. The Process successfully sued Sanders’ publisher to remove this reference.

That said the die was cast. By 1980, books like Michelle Remembers suggested a deep conspiracy of Satanic ritual abuse. The Satanic Panic of the 80’s found sacrifice and worship around every corner. Perhaps the author you’re reading now was targeted. Yet no real evidence has ever been found.

Michele Soavi’s The Sect concerns that network of Satan as they prepare the way for the Antichrist. From a commune being slaughtered in the early 1970’s — a scene with references to the Rolling Stones that repeat throughout the film — to multiple modern murders that follow, including a heart being left on a train and a suicide in public, the devil’s helpers are organized, know how to plan and are well ahead of the rest of society.

Just a note — as cheesy as Sympathy for the Devil reads today — The Rolling Stones were at the forefront of the occult 60’s thanks to their association with Kenneth Anger.  If you’re interested in learning more, I’d heartily recommend Gary Lachman’s Turn Off Your Mind: The Mystic Sixties and the Dark Side of the Age of Aquarius.

But let’s get back to The Sect. In modern Germany, schoolteacher Miriam Kreisl (Kelly Curtis, sister of Jamie Lee) saves Moebius Kelly (Herbert Lom, Hammer’s The Phantom of the Opera) after an accident and brings him back to her house. Within a few hours, he’s injecting her and shoving beetles up her nose while she sleeps and giving her nightmares of a giant bird having sex with her.

From there, the film descends into more of a series of nightmares than a fixed narrative. That makes sense once you realize that its origins in three different scripts that producer Dario Argento, director Michele Soavi and writer Gianni Romoli couldn’t finish. So you’re left with a film with a giant glowing blue gateway to Hell in the basement, a plot to conceive the Antichrist much like Rosemary’s Baby, an evil Shroud of Turin that can kill and bring people back from the dead and, oh yeah, a super smart rabbit named Rabbit who can use a TV remote.

The Sect has some references to other films, with the first victim being named Marion Crane (Psycho) and another named Martin Romero (obviously, George Romero and his Braddock vampire film Martin).

Following Soavi’s Stagefright and The Church, this film offers less of the pure insanity that he’d bring to bear in his next film (and sadly, final horror film) Cemetery Man. Yet a restrained Soavi is still more visually inventive than a hundred lesser directors. From images of animal-masked children to the evil Jesus that smokes up and annihilates hippies in the flashback, there’s a continual undercurrent of menace and doom.

Strange symbols just appear. People disappear even after we see them arrive. Or they die in airplane accidents and still appear. Kathryn (Mariangela Giordano, Evelyn from Burial Ground, she of the incestual zombie child relationship) shows up to get smothered by the previously mentioned evil shroud. Worms show up in the water. A possessed Kathryn convinces a trucker to kill her. Rabbit symbolism abounds. Kathryn gets back up off the operating table and attacks Miriam before killing herself again, which a doctor tries to explain as a commonplace thing. Long black tunnels lead to a sinister mortuary. The doctor who couldn’t save Kathryn and Damon, the Jesus-like killer from the opening, are working together. A woman’s face is ripped clean off, Hellraiser-style. Even trusted detective Frank is taken over and wants to kill Kathryn now that he knows her secret. Whew. I hope these short bursts of words give you an idea of just how much happens in this movie. It never really lets up, becoming more and more unreal.

Moebius comes back to life to tell Miriam that every moment of her life has been planned, that they own her, that everything has been for this moment of indescribable joy. The cult gathers as the doctor injects her, sending her to sleep.

Finally, the devil comes to take Miriam. In shadow form, he appears to be human, but what attacks her is a giant bird that pecks at her neck and has his way with her. The cult lowers her into a pit as Moebius raves, screaming that he is her father and that she will give birth to the Antichrist. As she waits in the blue basement water, midwives swim around her, facilitating the birth as the moon slowly goes dark.

A giant amniotic sac with a child inside is lifted as the moon goes completely black.

In a shot straight out of Rosemary’s Baby, Miriam moves through the crowd to see what Moebius refers to as their “revenge against God.” He offers her the chance to raise the child.

Cut to her kneeling, beatific in white, as she stares into the blue waters of the well below. The doctor attempts to be tender to her, but Miriam tosses her down the pit.  She makes her way to the rest of the cult and accepts her child, running with it as a motorcyclist chases her and crashes, creating a giant wall of fire.

Moebius screams that they are ger family now. Miriam kneels into the flames of the crashed motorcycle and sacrifices herself to destroy the baby and Moebius.

Fire crews put out the bodies as we see their charred remains wash away — except Miriam is still alive under all of the ash. An eagle circles the sky as Miriam believes that her son saved her.

The Sect is crazy, but it still doesn’t feel as strange as The Church or Stagefright. Yet again, when compared to any other film, it’s odd as hell. It flies by, a mix of imagery and ideas that takes you on a whirling dervish of a ride. It’s hard to find — Shameless put out a UK only DVD this year — but there are plenty of not so legal ways to find a copy. I’d recommend that you do so.

UPDATE: You can get The Sect from RoninFlix.