The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Torture Dungeon (1970)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

“I’m trisexual — I’ll try anything for pleasure!”

Any movie that has this line, no matter what happens in it, has something good in it.

Norman (Gerald Jaccuzo) is The Duke Of Norwich. When his half-brother is killed, he gets closer to the throne, which makes him filled with a need for power. He sets his other half-brother Albert (Hal Borske) up with a commoner named Heather MacGregor (Susan Cassidy) with plans to take control of their child and therefore, the throne. But there’s also the dead half-brother’s pregnant wife Lady Jane (Patricia Dillon), a hunchback named Ivan (Richard Mason) — who even gets into a threesome — and a woman with one eye.

I can’t even imagine what people unaware of Andy Milligan think when they saw this. It could still be happening now thanks to streaming, as someone sees the poster art and the title and thinks. “I’ll try this” before they’re confronted by Staten Island being a foreign country and costumes that look like they came from a Christmas play. Will any of them make it to the end? Or will they just be upset by what they have seen?

You can watch this on Tubi.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Wizard of Gore (1970)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

This movie is a miracle, because so much went wrong. The actor playing the monstrous Montag the Magnificent walked off the set following a confrontation with Fred Sandy and crew member Ray Sager had to take over the role. And as for the effects, they were basically two dead sheep soaked in PineSol. I can’t even imagine how much everything stunk, like the smell of an adult bookstore before they started making couples friendly places. Handling all those sheep organs was director Herschell Gordon Lewis’ son Robert.

Yes, it’s amazing that a movie with such primitive effects and non-trained actors works so well, but that’s just the weirdness that are the films of Lewis, movies that seem to exist inside vacuums of non-action punctuated by blasts of nausea-imbuing viscera.

Every night, Montag takes the stage and has long-winded speeches about the nature of reality before murdering a woman in front of an audience, then showing that it was all a trick. Then, the same woman dies the same way later that night. Reporters Sherry Carson (Judy Cler) and Greg (Phil Laurenson), along with her boyfriend Jack (Wayne Ratay), know that Montag is behind all of this. They just need to prove it.

The end of this movie breaks from what we expect and goes full psychotic. As they sit on the couch, Jack peels off his own face and reveals Montag before shoving his hands into the stomach of Sherry, who laughs in his face and disputes the illusions and the very nature of Montag’s reality, sending the entire movie back to the very beginning of this movie, creating a loop of reality as Sherry turns to her man and says, “You know what I think? I think he’s a phony.”

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Awakening of the Beast (1970)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

José Mojica Marins directed movies for six years before making At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul, the first appearance of Brazil’s national boogeyman, Zé do Caixão, or Coffin Joe.

Joe is a man with no morals but a devotion to Nietzschian philosophies and absolute hatred for religion with the goal of achieving immortality through the birth of a perfect son. And while he does not believe in the supernatural, he often finds himself walking through visions of the otherworld.

Coffin Joe came to Marins — the man who would often be referred to as the character interchangeably — in a very magic way. “In a dream saw a figure dragging me to a cemetery. Soon he left me in front of a headstone, there were two dates of my birth and my death. People at home were very frightened, called a priest because they thought I was possessed. I woke up screaming, and at that time decided to do a movie unlike anything I had done. He was born at that moment the character would become a legend: Coffin Joe. The character began to take shape in my mind and in my life. The cemetery gave me the name, completed the costume of Joe the cover of voodoo and black hat, which was the symbol of a classic brand of cigarettes. He would be a mortician.”

Awakening of the Beast begins in black and white, as a series of vignettes of the ways that drug users debase themselves are shown in lurid, sweaty detail. A TV panel debates the idea that sexual perversion is caused by the use of illegal drugs, with more stories that illustrate this point. The TV show needs an expert on depravity, so they ask Marins to appear on the show.

Afterward, the doctor who conducted the experiment doses four volunteers and asks for them to stare at a poster of The Strange World of Coffin Joe. Supposedly Marins didn’t know much about using drugs, but he intended this movie to speak against the fact that the uses of drugs are treated worse than the suppliers and that the Brazilian film industry saw him as no better than a long-nailed drug dealer.

The acid trip that follows is highlighted by Coffin Joe, ranting against anyone and everyone. Of course, this film was banned by the very establishment it rails against. So basically, Coffin Joe is a self-fulfilling prophecy; the maniac attacking belief structures created by an artist who only believes in the power of film.

“My world is strange, but it’s worthy to all those who want to accept it, and never corrupt as some want to portray it. Because it’s made up, my friend, of strange people, though none are stranger than you!”

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: I Drink Your Blood (1970)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

“Let all the spirits hear. I am the first born Son of Satan. He commands my thoughts. I speak his words. The Book of the Dead! Sons and daughters of Satan. Put aside your worldly things and come to me. Let it be known, sons and daughters, that Satan was an acid head. Drink from his cup; pledge yourselves. And together, we’ll all freak out.”

Has a movie ever started better? I don’t think so. I Drink Your Blood will take you prisoner, stab in the stomach with a fork and write on the walls with your blood!

In fact, I watched that opening at last year’s April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama in the middle of the night, surrounded by fog and inebriated on a variety of vices. It was a transcendent moment.

Horace Bones leads a cult that worships Satan and drops acid. A young girl, Sylvia, watches from the woods but is caught, then raped by the cult members before she escapes. She’s found the next morning by Mildred, a baker, and Sylvia’s brother Pete. They get her back to her father, Doc Banner, the town’s veterinarian. And oh the town — it’s been abandoned due to dam project. The hippies break down and decide to stick around.

The only food in town? Meat pies from Mildred’s bakery, which Horace and family take as they set up their home in a house scheduled for demolition. And when Doc comes for revenge, the gang smashes his glasses and force him to take LSD.

So how do you get revenge? Well, if you’re Pete, you kill a rabies infected dog and inject the blood into meat pies, which infects the gang and makes them go crazy. They begin to attack one another as Molly runs away, finding the mill workers, who she ends up having sex with all night long until she bites one of the men.

Horace goes full-on insane, even more insane than the beginning of the film, attacking two of the construction workers. Only Andy from the group is not infected and he finds Sylvia and Pete. Meanwhile, the infection spreads to the rest of the town.

Banner gets impaled. Horace is stabbed by Rollo, the African-American member of the family. Mildred is barricaded inside her bakery and Andy is beheaded before they get in. The Japanese member of the family sets herself on fire. Everyone other than Mildred, her boyfriend Oaks (who comes to save them), Sylvia and Pete dies horribly.

Director David Durston worked with producer and CEO of Cinemation Industries Jerry Gross to write and direct this film. He said that “wanted to make the most graphic horror film ever produced, but he didn’t want any vampires, man-made monsters, werewolves, mad doctors, or little people.” The director couldn’t come up with an idea until he read an article about a village in Iran where a pack of rabid wolves infected several villagers, making them insane and homicidal. Dunston found a doctor who had been to the village and that had filmed the evidence. He was further inspired by the Manson family trials.

This is the first film to be given an X rating for violence instead of sex. And while originally entitled Phobia, the name change to I Drink Your Blood and pairing with  1964’s Zombies, also retitled as I Eat Your Skinproved a potent blend for audiences. The two movies are almost always thought of together.

This film is unafraid to be the exploitation junk that normal people avoid. It’s grimy, filthy and ultimately entertaining as hell. It takes everyone’s worst fears of the hippies and shows you in graphic detail what happens when those fears come true.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Devil Woman (1970)

Frank Henenlotter’s Sexy Shockers (September 1 – 7) We all know Frank Hennenlotter as the director of the Basket Case films, Bad Biology, Brain Damage, and Frankenhooker, but he’s also a cinematic curator of the crass! An academic of the pathetic! A steward of sleaze! A sexton of the sexual and the Sexy Shocker series is his curio cabinet of crudity. Skin and sin are mixed together in these homegrown oddities, South American rediscoveries, and Eurohorror almost-classics. Your mind may recoil with erotic revulsion at the sights contained within these films, so choose wisely!

There are two movies with the name Devil Woman. This one and 1973’s She yao jing AKA Bruka Queen of Evil, which is the sequel, at least spiritually I guess. The 1970 Devil Woman was directed by Jose Flores Sibal. It begins with the birth of a young girl who has snakes for hair. Her father throws she and her mother into the rainy night and we catch up with them years later when she has grown into the teen Manda. She keeps her head covered at all times and the children often bully her. One day, they try to pull the wrap off and many of them end up dying by snake bite. The townspeople set her mother’s house on fire and again, she runs off into the night.

When she grows to adulthood, Manda (Divina Valencia) has become a snake goddess who takes over a gang, which brings her into conflict with a martial artist named Su Wen when she kidnaps his girlfriend. This movie, as you probably expect, has tons of human on snake violence and has a very similar story to its sequel. Also, there’s no transaction, which means you’re working your way through it Tower of Babel style.

Can you believe that you live in a reality that has not just one but two Filipino snake-haired woman movies?

CANNON MONTH 3: Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx (1970)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Aloysius “Quackser” Fortune (Gene Wilder) takes road apples and sells them to people who have gardens. His family keeps telling him that horses are going to be banned for cars soon, but he loves his work. And he’s in love with an American, Zazel Pierce (Margot Kidder) who is studying abroad. I mean, this movie has to be science fiction. 1970 Margot Kidder in love with a guy who scoops manure?

Director Waris Hussein would eventually make TV movies like The Henderson Monster and Copacabana. This film strains my credibility meter as there’s no reason for these characters to be in love and the end, where — spoiler — Fortune inherits a fortune from that cousin in the Bronx and becomes a tour bus driver, seems just plain too easy.

Nonetheless, 21st Century re-released this as Fun Loving after Wilder’s successful films with Richard Pryor as a new movie, not one that had years of dust on it.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Janie (1970)

Findlay Week (August 18 – 24) Husband and wife Michael and Roberta Findlay made mean-spirited films. They collaborated on films like Take Me Naked, The Ultimate Degenerate, and the notorious Flesh Trilogy, plus they actually looked like criminals – walking mug shots! You expect to see them glowering on the cover of one of those tabloids next to a headline like “KIDNAPPER COUPLE COLLECTED VICTIMS FINGERS.” Instead they were pornographers which did make them like criminals in their day. A lot of the filmmakers of their era would claim they only made this kind of movie because there was money in it, but Michael and Roberta were sincere adherents. Even when audience tastes changed and the couple were divorced they continued to make their own films that mixed in elements of kink and cruelty. 

Man, Roberta Findlay made some incredibly scummy movies. This is just another example of her talents, a movie in which Janie (Mary Jane Carpenter, Sex Family RobinsonHow to Succeed with SexDouble Initiation) tells her daddy — who yes, she’s sleeping with — about all the people that she’s killed. After each murder, she makes love to herself as shes covered with blood.

This movie is fuzzy and scuzzy and the audio is all over the place and the music is way too loud and everything looks like a mess and yet, it’s exactly right. Roberta directed most of this, although some credit Jack Bravman (Zombie NightmareNight of the Dribbler and the producer of the Findlay’s Snuff).

Everyone has on outfits that Robert Crumb would be crazy for and Roberta does the borderline maniac narration for the nudie cutie gone slasher footage that we watch, where sound rarely matches up with voices. This is a dirty movie with no sex, a film that promises titilation and only delivers strangeness.

I would compare this movie to something else, but there really isn’t anything else like it. Man, Roberta Findlay inspires me more and more with each of her films I see, because she was out there in the 60’s and 70’s making mindbending pieces of trashy art even if she had to use a man’s name to make it happen.

The other night, I had a tooth infection and the only way I could sleep was to lie my face on a heating pad until it felt like it was scalding my flesh and I fell asleep finally, fitfully, and when I awoke I was totally covered in sweat and afraid from the dreams that I had. That’s exactly what watching this movie is like, so beware.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Changes (1970)

Softcore Smorgasbord (August 4 – 10) All of the movies on this list have at one time or another been available through Something Weird Video. I’m sure I’ve missed some but many of them are still available on their website (until the end of 2024). These are their vintage softcore movies listed under categories with ridiculous names like: Nudie Cuties, Sexy Shockers, Sexo a-go-go, Twisted Sex, and Bucky Beaver’s Double Softies.

Gerard Damiano is probably best known for making Deep Throat, the movie that created porno chic, even if the trend of adult films being accepted was happening for some time. It just so happened that his film had a great title and came along at the right time. Before he made it, he made this, a mondo movie that explains how the world is changing and accepting more sexually oriented entertainment.

While the film mainly concentrates on the titillation of meeting sex workers and female adult performers, it does have Damiano interviewing Mary Philips of N.O.W., gay magazine publisher and activist Arthur Irving, and Jack Nichols and Lige Clark from Gay Magazine. That’s pretty much as far as it goes for showing homosexual material. It does, however, spend more time with Screw publishers Al Goldstein and Jim Buckley, as well as Patrick and Tally Wright having hardcore sex for several seconds along with several female models masturbating.

Somehow, this movie uses Marmalade’s “Reflections of My Life,” which went gold in 1971. I have no idea how they got the rights, which is me saying that Damiano just used it.

Adult stars that appear in this include Tallie Cochrane (Can I Do It ‘Till I Need Glasses?Wam Bam Thank You Spaceman), Rita Vance (The Kiss of Her Flesh), Kim Pope (The Amazing Transplant), Suzzan Landau (Keyholes Are for Peeping), Alex Mann (I Drink Your Blood), Linda Southern (The Headless Eyes), Patrick Wright (the truck driver at the beginning of Graduation Day), Linda Lovelace, who would soon become a big star in Damiano’s next film.

There’s also an appearance by Damiano’s son, in case you’re wondering if this is still exploitation, and early plaster caster Nancy (who is also in Pornography In New York), who is absolutely stunning as she appears as a normal sexual being in a world of idealized bodies.

So much has, pardon the silly pun, changed since Changes was made. Times Square is now all cleaned up and you can find incest porn in the privacy of your home online. Yet the right still pushes to censor whatever they determine as pornography, as that’s a major part of Plan 2025. Who determines what is art and what is porn? Surely the sex shows in this are filth, but they’re also made for consenting adults. Could the films I love that aren’t pornography be considered porn under these rules? Will owning Jess Franco movies be a crime, the video nasties all over again? This movie makes me consider how far we’ve come but how often we slide back, as even young people today are frighteningly puritanical.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Sinthia: The Devil’s Doll (1970)

Softcore Smorgasbord (August 4 – 10) All of the movies on this list have at one time or another been available through Something Weird Video. I’m sure I’ve missed some but many of them are still available on their website (until the end of 2024). These are their vintage softcore movies listed under categories with ridiculous names like: Nudie Cuties, Sexy Shockers, Sexo a-go-go, Twisted Sex, and Bucky Beaver’s Double Softies.

Ray Dennis Steckler directed this — oh, I mean Sven Christian — and co-wrote it with Herb Robins, the director of The Worm Eaters and The Brainsucker. The two had worked together on The Thrill Killers and The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters. He also plays Lucifer.

Steckler was having a hard time casting the lead, but when Ted Roter, who plays Sinthia’s father, had car trouble, he was picked up by a Sunday school teacher who got the part.

There’s not really any other movie like this.

Look at this description: “Cynthia Kyle enters puberty with a vengeance, murdering her parents as they make love: she’s wanted her father to love only her. Eight years later, she’s free and wants to marry, but nightmares plague her so she seeks psychiatric help. The doctor asks her to describe a dream: it’s long and elaborate with dreams within dreams of Lucifer, Hell, and her parents in various guises. To shed her guilt, the shrink recommends that she commit suicide in her next dream. In it, she falls in love with an artist who reminds her of her father, responds to a woman who finds her attractive, and celebrates her first school-yard kiss. The dream takes her back to her parents’ bedside. Is any cure possible?”

Anyways…

Cynthia, or Sinthia, is played by Shula Roan, AKA Bunny Allister. The only other movie she’s in is The Curious Female. That night, when she goes to sleep, she dreams that she’s in an orgy where everyone starts yelling “Sinthia loves her father!” like she’s Jamie Lloyd trying to get through lunch at Haddonfield High School. That’s because she’s in a special underworld, the hell of people who killed their parents.

She meets Carol (Brett Zeller, The Doll Squad) on a lonely road and follows her home to a mansion in the middle of nowhere that is filled with art painted by Lennie (Ted Royer, using the name Boris Balachoff). She gets a tarot card reading, has a sapphic encounter with Carol and then marries Lennie, who she thinks is her father. Then, she wakes up at her therapist’s office and he tells her to kill herself in the next dream — remember that chestnut? — and Carol and Lennie refuse to allow that to happen.

Somehow, this is not the goofball Steckler but some kind of Kenneth Anger on the cheap and I mean that in the best way I can possibly mean it. It has a heroine that wanted her father so much that she stabbed her parents and burned their house down and now is somehow cured. Except that, well, her new fiancee looks just like her dad once we get to see him.

How do you get out of Hell? You learn to love yourself. One handed.

If you can make it through the wild camera angles and Sinthia yelling, “Daddy!” every few moments, there is something here. Something Weird released it with Satanis: The Devil’s Mass and that’s beyond wonderful. Steckler shows some knowledge of cinematography here and the colors are psychedelic. This is the kind of movie that I love but I also know that when I recommend it to people, they don’t ask me to tell them what I’m watching any longer.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Carnival of Blood (1970)

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Leonard Kirtman mostly directed adult, churning out titles like The Seduction of CindyUp Desiree Lane and Confessions of a Candy Striper, often using the name Leon Gucci. This is one of the few movies he made without penetration yet it has all the feel of a New York City-made porn from 1970.

Shot in Coney Island — I would not be surprised if there were no permits and no one had any idea they were even filming — this movie revolves around the people who are killed after winning a teddy bear at the booth of Tom (Earle Edgerton) and his hunchback-heaving assistant Gimpy (John Harris, the stage name for Burt Young!).

There’s a district attorney called Dan (Martin Barolsky) who gets called down to investigate, but he’s so dumb that he brings his fiancee Laura (Judith Resnick) along to the carnival and man, defund the slasher police.

No set dialogue. Scuzzy looking footage. Gore from the Herschell Gordon Lewis school of pause on the guts. A great moment where a tunnel of love ends with a screaming survivor and a headless blood spraying victim. So much repetition. Sound effects out of nowhere. Folk music. Cool jazz. A drunken sailor. Bad relationships. Death is everywhere.

You can watch this on Tubi.