Al Adamson made his breakthrough with this movie, going on to direct Dracula vs. Frankenstein, Cinderella 2000, Nurse Sherri and one of the most legitimately unhinged movies I’ve ever survived, Carnival Magic. Even stranger, he was murdered and buried beneath his hot tub in 1995, killed by his live-in contractor Fred Fulford in a plot that could have been one of his films.

However, today we’re talking about his contribution to biker films.

The Satans are a motorcycle club who roam the American Southwest, led by Anchor (Russ Tamblyn, TV’s Twin Peaks) and including Firewater (John “Bud” Cardos, Breaking Point), Acid (Greydon Clark, who directed Satan’s Cheerleaders), Romeo (Bobby Clark, TV’s Casey Jones), Muscle, Willie and Gina (Regina Carrol, Adamson’s wife who appears in nearly all of his films). We’re introduced to the gang as they beat up a man, rape his girlfriend and then push them and their car off a cliff.

They have the bad luck to get in the way of hitchhiker Johnny Martin, a Vietnam vet who is just trying to figure it all out. He gets picked up by Chuck Baldwin (Scott Brady, the sheriff from Gremlins) and his wife Nora. The old man’s a cop and wants to help the young Marine as he travels the highways. They all go to a diner, where we meet Lew (Kent Taylor, half of the inspiration for Superman’s alter ego), the owner, and Tracy, a waitress.

The Satans show up and ruin the budding romance between Johnny and Tracy, as they earn the ire of Chuck and his wife, who tosses a drink in one of their faces. Chuck tries to pull his gun, but the old man’s authority means nothing to the hardened toughs who beat the fuck out of him and rape his woman. Then, they kill all three — but not until Anchor screams out a totally inspired rant:

“You’re right, cop. You’re right, I am a rotten bastard. I admit it. But I tell ya something. Even though I got a lot of hate inside, I got some friends who ain’t got hate inside. They’re filled with nothing but love. Their only crime is growing their hair long, smoking a little grass and getting high, looking at the stars at night, writing poetry in the sand. And what do you do? You bust down their doors, man. Dumb-ass cop. You bust down their doors and you bust down their heads. You put ’em behind bars. And you know something funny? They forgive you. I don’t.”

The Satans don’t leave witnesses. Well, except for our hero and the waitress, who just escaped from Muscle and Romeo. Meanwhile, the gang meets three young girls and start partying with them. Gina can’t take seeing Anchor with other women, so she jumps off a cliff.

Willie tries to kill our heroes, but a rattlesnake saves them (!). Meanwhile, Firewater finds his body and comes to tell Anchor, who has gone insane and murdered all three girls. They fight and Firewater leaves the leader for dead. As he finally finds Johnny and Tracy, he is killed by a landslide (again, nature itself is against the bikers).

Finally, Anchor catches up to them and goes nuts, giving another soliloquy about being Satan. He raises Chuck’s gun to kill everyone, but Johnny simply throws a switchblade at him. “In Vietnam, at least I got paid when I killed people,” he says and at that, he and Tracy ride off on the villain’s cycle.

Satan’s Sadists was filmed at the Spahn Movie Ranch in Simi Valley, CA, at the same time the Manson Family lived there. Some movies would hide this fact. This poster will prove that this one wears it on its bloody sleeve.

Truly, this is a movie that does not give a fuck. Just about no one gets out alive or unscarred. Any moments of pleasure are stolen or taken by force. The poster promises human garbage and this film delivers.

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Based on Alexander Dumas’ La Dame aux Camélias, Camille 2000 was made in Italy but directed by Radley Metzger and written by Michael de Forrest. This is the story of Marguerite Gautier (Danielle Gaubert, who died too young at 44 but had a life where she was married to the son of Dominican dictator Rafael Trujillo and ski champion Jean-Claude Killy, as well as acting in 17 movies), a woman of whom the rumors say “the hills are covered with the bodies of the men she’s ruined.”

Armand Duval (Nino Castelnuovo) falls for her instantly, despite the harsh words of his father (Massimo Serato) and the offer by his friend Gaston (Roberto Bisacco) to show him other women. He finally gets her alone and charms her; she tells him that if he really loves her that he should run. They instead live on love on a houseboat in Porto d’Ercole. Armand’s father believes that she’s using her son; unknown to everyone, the opposite is true, as she is selling off every gift rich men have ever given her to keep their life. The father asks her to leave his son, as he’s meant for more. She complies and ends up with Count DeVarville (Philippe Forquet) and hooked on drugs to try and forget. Armand throws himself into work, which becomes his addiction.

One of her friends introduces Armand to Prudence (Eleonora Rossi Drago) who throws an S&M orgy that also has Marguerite and DeVarville invited. Of course, things won’t end well. How can they, as when we first meet Marguerite, someone asks her, “Don’t you ever come down?”

She answers, “Not if I can help it.”

A movie filled with longing, eroticism and inflatable furniture, this is 1969 looking to a future that we’d never find.

John Warner (George Hilton) deserts the Confederate Army when he learns that his lover Rosa (Annabella Incontrera, Black Belly of the Tarantula) is about to deliver his child. He’s captured but has two friends who allow him to escape and he makes it home just in time to learn that she’s died. Even worse, the child’s grandfather Don Pedro Sandoval (Ernest Borgnine) rejects the child, who also dies from a fever that could have been helped with all the money that the rich Sandovals have horded.

Warner then decides that all hope is gone, so he becomes an outlaw, mostly seeking to make the life of the Sandoval family as bad as possible. This whole movie is about revenge and two men who ultimately will do anything to one another even if it destroys themselves.

Director Julio Buchs also made Murder by Music and Django Does Not Forgive. There were rumors that Lucio Fulci directed this — the opening with a man cutting rings off dead fingers and pulling out fillings seems to be something he’d craft — but no, it’s not him.

It also has a great AKA title: Those Desperate Men Who Smell of Dirt and Death.

The VCI 4K blu ray of this movie has commentary by Alex Cox, which is really all the extras it needs, because he knows his Italian Westerns. It also has a trailer. You can get it from MVD.

EDITOR’S NOTE: All Monsters Attack was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, September 19, 1970. It also aired on May 22, 1971; July 22, 1972 and April 14, 1973.

As a kid, I hated All Monsters Attack as much as I loved kaiju movies.

Gojira Minira Gabara Ōru Kaijū Dai-shingeki was released as Godzilla’s Revenge as a double feature with Night of the Big Heat. It was nearly named Minya, Son of Godzilla.

Directed by Ishirō Honda and written by Shinichi Sekizawa, this film had such a low budget that most of the kaiju scenes come from other movies, like Ebirah, Horror of the Deep, Son of Godzilla, King Kong Escapes and Destroy All Monsters.

In Japan, it was released as part of Toho Champion Matsuri, a festival-style program that included shorts and feature films. Honda came to say that it was one of his favorite movies in the Godzilla films. So why did I hate it, like most people?

It’s not really about Godzilla.

Ichiro Miki is a latchkey kid growing up in a filthy town, bullied near-constantly and with hardly any friends. Perhaps as a kid the same age when I first saw this, I saw so much of myself that I just couldn’t like what I was watching. Because as an adult, I find it so wonderful that Ichiro Miki dreams of Monster Island and that even though Minilla is the son of the king of the monsters, he still has a bully by the title of Gabara. Now, he must give his friend on Monster Island courage and find it in himself.

I wish I could tell young Sam that everything would be OK and that he would grow up to not be so nervous that he doesn’t sleep for days at a time, but that has never gone away. But both of us still love monsters.

You can watch this on Tubi.