EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.

You know you’re in for it when the description on IMDB says, “Some kinda horror-anthology nonsense hijacking the Amityville brand.”

This claims to be found footage found in an Amityville home. What you watch for an hour is just quick cuts into short stories, you know, an anthology as we used to call them. A lot of people swear and yell, as often happens in microbudget horror.

The ride share starts the film, as a man picks up a woman, takes her home, then chokes her out with a plastic bag. Then the clowns, TV news people and urban legends show up. Again, this often happens in microbudget horror.

It all ends with yet another clown, this time Buttons the Clown, who has gathered other facepainted killers to stalk a slumber party. Also: Henry from the Paranoia Tapes series of films shows up and those movies are pitched for ten minutes at the end of the movie. Yes, ten minutes of trailers.

Directed by Jack Hunter II, who wrote it with Dann Eudy, this has two of the meanest IMDB reviews I’ve seen destroying it, with quotes like “I fought in the Gulf War, and this movie makes me wish I was back in the Desert dodging IED’s” and “s someone who has a sick compulsion to watch every film with the Amityville title, Rideshare vies for one of the bottom of the list, it’s only saving grace is at least it’s short, unlike Amityville Hex which still holds distinction as the worst.”

The sound quality is beyond horrible in parts, you can barely see what’s going on and really the only part that worked for me was the abduction scene, as that at least felt weird. Would you like to watch people unleash profanity on one another while the camera is locked off and occasionally there’s some bad video effects? Good news. This one will scratch your stupid itch.

You can watch this on YouTube.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Disembodied was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, January 26, 1964 at 111:10 p.m., Saturday, March 27, 1965 at 1:00 a.m., Saturday, July 16, 1966 at 1:00 a.m., Saturday, December 30, 1967 at 1:00 a.m. and Saturday, August 16, 1969 at 1:00 a.m.

Tom Maxwell (Paul Burke) is a man in search of excitement, which brings him to a tropical island where he meets Dr. Carl Mertz (John Wengraf) and his native wife Tonda (Allison Hayes). Tom’s friend Joe (Robert Christopher) is mauled by a lion and it’s hoped that the doctor can save him, but voodoo is what does it, taking the soul of servant Suba (Dean Fredericks) and putting him into the white man’s body. Only his wife Mara (Eugenia Paul) knows the truth and Tom’s too busy lusting after Tonda to know the difference.

She gets tired of trying to get Tom to kill the doctor and goes full voodoo on him, hanging dolls and stabbing them, dancing around the fire at night. She can get any man she wants and she knows it. Well, Allison Hayes is definitely the right actress to play her, after roles in The Undead, The Unearthly and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

Director Walter Grauman mostly worked in TV, directing hundreds of episodes of episodic dramas, as well as TV movies like Daughter of the Mind, Crowhaven Farm and The Old Man Who Cried Wolf. This was written by Jack Townley and played double features with From Hell It Came.

It’s a little past an hour long, most of the people who should be black are white and it’s shot on a soundstage instead of in the jungle. That said, I have a weakness for movies like this.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Murder In the Blue Room was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, October 23, 1976 at 1:00 a.m.

A remake of the 1933 movie of the same title, which was also a remake of a German film made in 1932 and which was also remade in 1938 as The Missing Guest, this film was directed by Leslie Goodwins and written by I. A. L. Diamond and Stanley Davis.

The original plan was for the Ritz Brothers to be the stars, but instead, The Three Jazzybelles (Grace McDonald, Betty Kean, June Preisser) were the leads.

Nan (Anne Gwynne) and her mother have opened their home to boarders, despite her father killing himself in the Blue Room twenty years ago. The Three Jazzybelles perform for the lodgers and one, Larry (Bill Williams), demands to stay in the Blue Room, only for the room to be empty and locked from the inside in the morning.

It’s pretty much the same story as the original, only with all singing and all dancing. So, if you want that with your mystery, you have that here.

You can watch this on YouTube.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Man With Nine Lives was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, April 23, 1966 at 11:20 p.m., Saturday, June 31, 1969 at 11:30 p.m.

Torn from the headlines! Both this movie and The Man They Could Not Hang on Dr. Robert Cornish, a University of California professor who brought a dog. named Lazarus back to life. After that became a big story, the university kicked out Cornish, who played himself  in the 1935 film Life Returns. Following a preview screening of the film, Universal pulled the film from general release and said that it was a “freak picture, not suitable for the regular Universal program.” In 1937, director Eugene Frenke won a lawsuit and got his film back, re-releasing it through Scienart Pictures a year later.

Dr. Tim Mason (Roger Pryor) is trying to convince his bosses that he can use cold therapy to heal patients, but they disbar him. He and his nurse Judith Blair (Jo Ann Sayers) travel to the abandoned home of the man who inspired him, Dr. Leon Kravaal (Boris Karloff), a genius who has been missing for more than a decade. That’s becaue he and five other men — one already dead — have been frozen all that time. Kravaal awakens and must figure out how to recreate the method he used to freeze everyone, even if that means experimenting on and killing everyone else.

Like all of Karloff’s mad doctor movies of this era, this was directed by Nick Grinde from a script by Karl Brown and Harold Shumate. With a tag like “He kills in the name of science…Tombs of ice for the living…Chambers of horror for the dead!,” I can see why audiences kept coming to these films. It’s also one of the few Hays Code movies to allow the word cancer.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.

Directed and written by Nick Box and Stuart Fitzsimmons, this was originally released in 2018 as Strange Vibes. It’s the tale of Alana (Jade Mason), a young woman who is a horrible employee and who can’t find a new job, leading to her being about to be evicted. To learn how to get a better job, she watches videos by Job Search Guy (Shawn C. Phillips) and 80s Popstar (Chan Walrus), thereby allowing two people to iPhone in their contribution to the movie.

This keeps going back to the job interview with Clare (Georgina Burford) and Ms. Vil Bitch (Sihona Robbins), each time with slight differences, as Ms. Vil is increasingly meaner and meaner to Alana and Clare. The footage also goes from black and white to color for no reason.

There are also numerous New Wave music videos that have nothing to do with the plot either. And if they do, I have no idea how. All I know is that Ms. Vil gives Alana a vibrator to kill her roommate and then asks her to shoot herself to prove her loyalty, which she does, and gets the job. She somehow survives this, too. It’s a spoiler but the ending is twenty minutes before the movie ends, so it doesn’t matter.

This also has nothing to do with Amityville, but when has that ever stopped these movies?

You can watch this on YouTube.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Vampire Bat was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, September 9, 1967 at 11:20 p.m. and Saturday, August 22, 1970 at 11:30 p.m. This episode was a welcome return, as the week before Chiller Theater was preempted for Adios Stakes Race at the Meadows and Midnight Put-On! Teenage Dance Party.

In the village of Kleinschloss, bats are draining people of their blood. Dr. Otto von Niemann (Lionel Atwill) has come to care for a young woman named Martha Mueller (Rita Carlisle) who has been attacked by a bat. She’s also visited by Hermann Gleib (Dwight Frye), who tells her not to worry about bats, as they are as soft as cats. In fact, he lives with the bats that he collects at night.

Karl Brettschneider (Melvyn Douglas), the law in this town, doesn’t believe the other villagers that vampires are behind all the blood-related deaths. Well, later that night, when Martha dies from two bite marks in her neck, he starts to. And as for Gleib, he runs from the dead girl screaming as a mob chases him off a cliff.

The truth? It’s the doctor, who has kidnapped Karl’s love Ruth (Fay Wray) and plans to feed her to the monster that he’s created, a beast that lives on blood.

Lionel Atwill and Fay Wray had a big movie with Dr. X and had just finished a follow-up, Mystery of the Wax Museum. That was a huge production, so in the time it was being finished, Majestic Pictures got them to make this quick and get it out a month before their much bigger film. It doesn’t look as cheap as the budget, as it uses the sets from Frankenstein and The Old Dark House.  They also went in and hand animated the torches in color, which adds something different.

Fay Wray sure was busy in 1933. She made eleven films that year: Mystery at the Wax Museum, King Kong, The Vampire Bat, Below the Sea, Ann Carver’s Profession, The Woman I Stole, Shanghai Madness, The Brain, The Bowery, One Sunday Afternoon and Master of Men.

You can watch this on Tubi.

EDITOR’S NOTE: First Spaceship On Venus was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, October 23, 1976 at 11:30 p.m., Saturday, July 19, 1980 at 1:00 a.m., Saturday, September 5, 1981 at 1:00 a.m. and Saturday, March 27, 1982 at 1:00 a.m.

Also known as Planet of the Dead and Spaceship Venus Does Not Reply, this is really the East German/Polish film Milcząca Gwiazda / Der Schweigende Stern, which would mean The Silent Star in English. It’s based on Stanislaw Lew’s 1951 novel The Astronauts. The author — who also was the man behind Solaris — was critical of the final film, saying, “It practically delivered speeches about the struggle for peace. Trashy screenplay was painted; tar was bubbling, which would not scare even a child.”

So how did it make it to America? Out old friends at Crown International Pictures, who In 1962 released a cut-down and American-friendly dub of the movie — along with two other cuts under the aforementioned Planet of the Dead and Spaceship Venus Does Not Reply titles. Domestic audiences wouldn’t see the original, uncut version of the film until it was re-released by the DEFA Film Library of the University of Massachusetts Amherst as The Silent Star.

Scientists discover that the Tunguska explosion of 1908 was caused by an alien craft and not a meteor, which sends them to Venus, where they discover that the inhabitants of that planet want to irradiate the Earth and take it over. More precisely, they would have, had they not nuked themselves into oblivion.

If you watched this and thought, “Have I seen this movie somewhere else?” that would be because it’s the movie within a movie in Galaxina. If you listened to it and felt the same way, that’s because it liberally borrows — steals — music from Destination Moon, This Island Earth and The Wolf Man.

You can watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of this movie on Tubi or the original on YouTube: