Chris Stokes and Marques Houston are the kings of Tubi. Seriously, these guys have a movie a month and it feels like I’m the only one going crazy about their work, but who cares? You can be a weirdo like me and get super jazzed about these movies too and yell at your TV or whatever device you choose to watch Tubi on.

When we last saw Joanna (Cassidey Fralin), she had ruined the lives of her father, real estate millionaire Michael Lawrence (Blue Kimble) and her new stepmother Whitney (Annie Ilonzeh), a self-made cosmetics company owner. To remind you how horrible she is, this starts with flashbacks to her launching her grandmother down the steps, burning a woman’s face with tainted makeup, killing a family friend, throwing a woman off a balcony and so much more. They skipped how she threw Whitney’s mother’s ashes all over the place!

I’m already yelling at the screen and this just got started.

Michael is missing, Joanna is contained in critical condition in a hospital after being shot in the chest and the cops are on the case. Somehow, despite the police knowing where she is, they can’t contact her family. Look, I’m not here to make these movies make sense. I’m here to react like I’m watching old ECW matches.

Despite Joanna nearly being dead, she kills someone and runs off. Did you expect anything to be different? No. Look, we’re here to see people drink fancy drinks in fancy places and interfamily ballistics.

This guy Matt is trying to pick up Ms. Daniels at a bar when Christopher drops in and threatens him, says he’s her husband, then says, “Blessings, king” before calling the guy an asshole.

Two weeks later and Joanna is in Debra’s house, refusing to help cook or clean. She’s only there because they can’t find her father, who you know, we just saw. Joanna follows this up by kicking her Aunt Deb down the steps as her kids lose their minds. She’s good at launching people down the steps.

Now it’s one year later. Christopher is now married to Tessa (Erica Pinkett), who owns Stretch, a non-surgical spandex company. She has a son named Trevor (Keyon Bowman), who is quite the athlete. So Christopher has done pretty well in a short time, finding another gorgeous wife and a great family. They both helped him heal and he’s honored to be in their family.

Joanna shows up on schedule, arriving at a family party, the same as the last movie.

“How did your aunt die?” asks Christopher.

“She fell down the stairs,” replies Joanna.

“Again?” Christopher screams.

“Why is my family so clumsy?” answers Joanna, crying and begging for a place to stay.

While Tessa has some issues, Joanna moves in and starts tutoring her son. She knows what’s going on with her father, who thinks that he’s into another scam. And as for Whitney cuts her wrist on a bottle and screams at her children, saying that she failed and their friend died. She was married to a murderer!

On that same day, she goes to her first day of AA and sees Cedric (Mike Hill), the cop who is on the trail of Joanna and Michael. Whitney is worried because she shot both of them in the heart and they’re still alive. He wants to use her as bait and, you know, they used to date.

Michael has gotten Tessa pregnant, which screws up his plans with his daughter, as now they need to kill everyone to make sure they get the money. Just as he reveals that he knows she is going to be having a baby, Brandon shows up.

Who?

Brandon is Tessa’s ex and Chris takes it about as well as you’d think. He’s Travis’ biological father, not Hank, her husband who died. Chris says, “You need to explain this to me like i’m a child.” Trevor doesn’t even know that his dead is alive and she goes through the story of how she had a baby and yet married another man.

Best of all, Brandon doesn’t know that he has a son.

The world of The Stepdaughter is a pretty complicated one.

Meanwhile, the crazy guy from across the street, Henry — who Travis is afraid of — knows that Joanna is a criminal from watching the news. He keeps trying to get the word out to Tessa, who is all upset about Brandon, who has also upset Chris.

While this is all happening, the family from the last movie is trying to get the cops the help they need, just as Whitney reconnects with Cedric, a fact that doesn’t seem to make her sons happy.

As if enough hasn’t happened, Joanna has killed the old man across the street and tells Travis about his real father. It turns out. that Joanna was the one that informed everyone — Brandon and Travis — about them being father and son. Tessa reacts by trying to asphyxiate Joanna, while Chris tackles her and then Travis hits him. Tessa screams for everyone to get out.

The Stepdaughter 2 lives up to the legacy of Stokes and Houston, perhaps their best movie yet.

Trevor leaves to see his father just in time to see Chris punching him into oblivion. Everyone has run away and Tessa is calling the police, just as Chris grabs her and starts to shake her like a baby. This is soon followed by Joanna taking Travis and knocking Tessa out with a frying pan before telling her father that he made a mistake falling for one of his targets. She calls him his real name, Michael, as the cops start to figure it all out.

As for Joanna, she’s the only child that gets to be happy, as she wants to poison everyone to get revenge for Chris/Michael killing her mother. Now she wants to kill everyone and get everything, which has father and daughter firing guns at one another and stalking through a dark house.

The cops arrive just in time, but come on, you know this can’t end like that. Chris/Michael has escape prison and the police want Joanna/Maggie to help them find her, just as her father shows up at Whitney’s mansion.

The Stepdaughter 3? I can’t wait.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Yes, this sex drama is Jackie Chan’s first acting role, but you have to watch it closely, as it’s not like he’s a major part of it.

Based on the book by Lanling Xiaoxiao Sheng — a pseudonym of someone who didn’t want their identity known — called Jin Ping Mei, it gets its name from three of the female characters: three central female characters: Pan Jinlian, whose name means Golden Lotus; the concubine Li Ping’er, whose name means Little Vase and maid Pang Chunmei, whose name means Spring plum blossoms, which means sexuality.

The book is a spin-off, of sorts from The Water Margin and All Men Are Brothers. It starts with Wu Song avenging the murder of his older brother by killing his brother’s former wife — and killer — Pan Jinlian. She was one of the many wives of Ximen Qing, who is killed in The Water Margin by Wu Song. In Jin Ping Mei, Pan Jinlian overdoses him on aphrodisiacs.

While only a small portion of the book is pornographic, it’s enough to get it banned from many libraries. That said, it has also been named as one of the “Four Masterworks of the Ming Novel” by scholar Andrew H. Plaks.

In the movie, Ximen Qing (Yueng Kwan) is a rich man who keeps adding to his collection of wives. One day, as he sees the dwarf Wu Dalang (Chiang Nan) selling pancakes in the street, he takes notice of the man’s wife, Pan Jinlian (Hu Chin). They soon fall in lust and murder her husband.

There’s no Wu Song in this, though his return is rumored. Thanks to Heroic Cinema, I learned that that story is part of another Li Han-hsiang movie, Tiger Killer. Beyond making that adaption of this story, he also made The Golden Lotus: Love and Desire in 1991 and The Amorous Lotus Pan in 1994.

As for Jackie Chan being in this, he’s the fruit vendor who figures out that the pancake seller has been murdered. He’s in the first part of the film, but with all this power, there’s no way anyone is going to jail for the crime.

I’m loving that 88 Films is giving us more than just martial arts Shaw Brothers movies. Here’s hoping that the entire output gets a chance to come out. I realize that I will be long gone before that happens, as that would be hundreds of films.

The 88 Films release of The Golden Lotus has a trailer, a stills gallery and a reversible sleeve with the original Hong Kong poster artwork. You can buy it from MVD.

Directed and written by Han Hsiang Li, this is the steamier side of Shaw Brothers. Yes, it’s not all punches, kicks and blood. This is an anthology about a brothel, telling the story of Da-Qin (Yu Feng) and her battles against owner Miss Ho (Lily Ho, playing the opposite of her role in Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan). Despite being sold into sexual submission, she remains defiant. Then, the story moves on to a young emperor having his first time in the brothel before meeting a soldier who wants the house of ill repute’s most gorgeous woman and finds himself possessed by the emperor, while the object of his desire was saving herself for the very same leader. It’s a musical, it has ghosts and yes, none of these anthology chapters really add up.

In the middle of all the whippings and nudity, Jackie Chan shows up in the last story as a waiter.

I kind of like the audacity of this movie in that it wants to be a history lesson and then fills the screen with wall to wall depravity. Well done, Shaw Brothers. You aren’t that far away from your Italian exploitation filmmaking cousins after all.

The 88 Films blu ray of this movie has art by Yu-Ming Huang, as well as the option of displaying the original Hong Kong poster art. You can buy it from MVD.

Directed by Gabby Revilla Lugo and written by Dana Brawer, this film starts with a book club who are all reading a series of books with the same name as the title of this movie, Secret Life of a Dominatrix. I wonder if they’re all reading the book by Summer Bradford, which I found on Walmart’s web site, that has purple prose like this to sell it: “My name is Sarah Fielder, normal looking University student. However, you may know me by my other persona, Miss Trix. Mistress Trix, Dominatrix.”

May (Mariel Molino) is pretty excited about reading this book, because her sex life with her husband Kurt (Andrew Biernat, who seems to have a fan club on IMDB giving this 10/10 reviews) has grown stale ever since she had a miscarriage and oh yeah, had an affair.

Her friends get all worked up as well, so they decide to go check out a local sex club, which actually ends up being people talking and not just having wall to wall sex, which is pretty realistic one imagines. May becomes friends with Olivia (Jenna Kanell) and Kelly (Marcia Harvey) and several other women, gradually realizing that she is not a submissive but instead dominant.

When she tries to bring that fun home to her husband and be honest — instead of cheating again — he keeps going hot and cold with her. It’s just not for him, so she decides to keep it all held within.

And that would be the movie, except this also wants to be a giallo — well, erotic thriller — and have a Red Light Killer who can’t be anyone other than Kurt. This murderer ends up offing one of the book club members, Dee (Imani Vaughn-Jones), and makes all the ladies decide to stay inside instead of exploring dungeons. Well, except May, who can’t stay away, and soon learns that her husband — again, surprise — also goes to the same club to be a rough — and none well liked — dom.

She springs this knowledge on him in bed, hoping to finally get a bunch of the rough trade she’d be hoping for and even lets loose her dom side, which surprisingly — and by that I mean not at all — does not play well with his. He loses his marbles, shoves her head into a wall and starts to threaten her life, even attacking one of her friends that comes in to save her. Luckily, her skills with a rope — she was a farm girl, so tying people up comes quickly — end up with him dead and her still breathing. I have no idea how anyone would explain this to any officer of the law or court.

None of that matters because this has a twist ending that — do I even need spoilers after that one before? — everyone is alive, the book club are all still friends and May has claimed her sexuality. She’s moved on past Kurt — and didn’t lynch him — and everybody is happy. Wink at the camera.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Yes, I have watched three Diddy documentaries on Tubi now, starting with The Downfall of Diddy, then The Downfall of Diddy The Indictment and now, here we are. The freak-offs.

Along with so many celebrities in this — is Ray J a celebrity other than having sex with Kim Kardashian? — Tanea Wallace, an aspiring singer-songwriter, is interviewed. She claims that she was invited to Diddy’s party by a Saudi Prince who flew her from L.A. to Miami. She also says that she saw “Harajuku Barbies” who she later realized were children and that the party went until 7 A.M.

Even better, TMZ reporter Charles Latibeaudiere claims to have seen videos of the freak-offs and claims that they are straight porn, directed by Diddy.

This is such a strange story because, as they remind us several times, filming porn and having orgies is not necessarily illegal.

This doesn’t have a great line like the first one, where Diddy’s lawyer Marc Agnifilo, when answering why Diddy would have a thousand bottles of lubricant and baby oil, answered, “I mean, he has a big house. He buys in bulk, you know.”

My wife looked at me during this and said, in the same angry voice she has when she walks in on a Black Emauelle movie, “Why are you watching this?”

The phrase “demonic energy” is also used and that Diddy can look at you and hypnotize you like an Illuminati. You can go really deep into the conspiracy theory stuff about Diddy, if you want. Perhaps when we get the fourth part, which I know I’ll watch, because I feel like I’ve done this much.

A disclaimer that TMZ posted about the most important guest in this: “Ms. Tanea Wallace has no credibility and her claims about freak-offs and minors are completely and categorically false. As we’ve said before, Mr. Combs cannot respond to every new publicity stunt, even in response to claims that are facially ridiculous. Mr. Combs has full confidence in the facts and the integrity of the judicial process. In court, the truth will prevail: that the accusations against Mr. Combs are pure fiction.”

You can watch this on Tubi.

Yojimbo led to A Fistful of Dollars which led here. I’ve been watching so many Sun Chung movies over the last week and this one may have been one of my favorites.

Since, well, forever, the Mong clan and the Chows have fought over who owns Ho Si. The Chows want to unite the city, while Mong Fan (Ku Feng) wants them all dead. He hires the greatest martial arts teacher in the world, Wong Yang (Ti Lung), to train his family, but the fighter refuses, knowing that only selfishness will come from his teachings. Mong Fan angrily sets up Wong, having a farmer attack him, who soon falls onto a spike and dies. The town then turns against the hero.

Wong goes on the run, hoping to prove that he is innocent. Yet Mong Fan claims that if he teaches his men, he will clear his name. As this happens, Chow Ping (Wang Yu) sneaks into the training area and starts to learn all he can, yet he is captured and about to be killed when Wong saves him. As he takes him back home, Wong starts to train him until he’s attacked by Mong’s men and nearly killed.

Nursed back to health by Chao Cheh (Therea Chu), he teaches Chow his most perfect style, the Shaolin Pole. Now that he has a student who is nearly his equal, it’s time to clear his name as well as the Chows, who have been accused of killing monks.

While this has the two clans at war aspect of the aforementioned movies that inspired it, it has a more noble hero and one who chooses a side and remains on the side of good. As always, Ti Lung is incredible, but if you’ve been watching Shaw Brothers movies, you already know that.

The 88 Films blu ray release of The Kung Fu Instructor has a gorgeous cover by 17th and Oak. You can get it from MVD.

Directed by Lau Kar-leung, The Shadow Boxer is also known as The Spiritual Boxer Part II.

Master Chen Wu (Chia-Yung Liu) and his apprentice Fan Chun Yuen (Yue Wong) are undertakers who have the rough job of getting the dead back in their graves. They must bring nine corpses from back to their home graves, an effort that Master Chen accomplishes by turning the dead bodies into jiangshi or, as more commonly known, hopping vampires. He does that by attaching spells to their foreheads which reanimate them, which allows the spiritual undertakers to avoid carrying coffins and just have the dead walk — or jump — home on their own.

Arriving before Mr. Vampire and Encounters of the Spooky Kind, this is one of the first appearances of these creatures, monsters that would soon show up in so many horror — and non-horror — movies.

One of the undead, Zhang Jie (Gordon Liu), just won’t listen. That’s because he may not be dead. They’re also hosts to Ah Fei (Cecilia Wong), who arrives just in time for things to start going wrong.

Fan Chun Yuen can only do martial arts when his master is chanting spells at him, so it’s a good thing that Zhang Jie is along. And it’s also great for the viewer, as Gordon Liu is always a welcome fighter in any film.

Also: Don’t be concerned that this is a sequel. It is one in name only and both movies have Yue Wong in them.

The 88 Films blu ray release of The Shadow Boxing has a limited edition slipcase with brand-new artwork by Mark Bell and four collectable artcards. You also get a trailer and a still gallery. Of all the 88 Films Shaw Brothers releases, this has the greatest looking cover art. I’m honored to have it as part of my collection.

Get this from MVD.

Directed by Adam Werth, who co-wrote the story with Victor V. Gelsomino, Devil’s Knight takes place in Veroka, where an elite group of global monster hunters known as The Lost Blades — played by an all star cast of direct to streaming actors — are hired by King Samuel (Kevin Hager) to destroy the Bone Devil, whose reign of terror threatens all of humanity.

The fighters include Sigurd (John Welles) and Mathias (Robert Stanley), who handily dispatch a minotaur early in the movie. They’re soon joined by the king’s daughter Princess Sabine (Sarah Nicklin) — who wants to fight like a man — and Captain Baldur (Kevin Sorbo) among many others.

This is packed with actors, including Angie Everhart, Eric Roberts, Daniel Baldwin, Mistress Harley and around a hundred others, as well as just as many associate and executive producers who may also be actors in this. That’s how movies get made these days, you know?

I played a lot of D&D and that means that I watched plenty of sword and sorcery movies in the 80s. This follows a lot of those themes and has huge battles where nearly everyone dies, which is how a hard campaign often goes. It also has some ren faire costuming, but at least the castle sets are nice. I’m telling you this because I am the audience for this movie, the kind of movie that you could never watch with your wife because she’d make fun of you for hours for knowing what terms like hook horror, critical hit and magic missiles mean.

Shout out to producers Michael and Sonny Mahal for making a movie that reminds me of the kind of films that I overdosed on in the 80s, back when my hometown had a video store on almost every corner.

This also has a possessed woman eat a man’s heart and that’s the kind of thing I look for in my movies.

Ryan Van Hill-Song (Nathan Hill) has come back from space a hero. However, his wife Sadie (Ira Chakraborty) wonders if her husband has been changed by his time in orbit. After all, he’s jogging all the time and somehow, he has a bigger penis than when he rocketed into space.

Hill, who wrote the film, claims that this was inspired by The Astronaut’s Wife, which may be a movie that you don’t remember. Working with director Simon Oliver and writer Simon Salamon, this has an Australian astronaut who is like a rock star and works for NASA, maybe because there’s no space program down under.

Once Sadie finds out that she’s pregnant, she starts to wonder if the fetus inside her is an alien being. Well, once she finds out that her hubby looks like something out of Alien Nation, you can just imagine how that’d knock her out. She’s pretty unflappable, however. When he cheats on her with a bartender, she drives him home and takes a nap on the couch instead of trying to murder him.

Man, Sadie goes through a lot in this, losing her nan, having an alien husband, having an alien cheating husband, having a baby with her alien cheating husband and the baby sending her flashing messages of its space child face, dealing with the Men In Black…I’d like to know what happens as the end, as Ryan gets beamed up while she eats blue taffy in the kitchen and cries. Does that cause her to lose her child? Or is she going to be a single mother of a space baby?

Alien Love is kind of confounding and I mean that as a compliment.

You can watch this on Tubi.

The Chi Sha Clan is made up of numerous killers and criminals who all know martial arts. No one knows who their leader is and efforts to stop them have been — up to know — futile. The Imperial Court charges Yang Zhen-Yu (Walter Tso Tat-Wah) with stopping them for good. To do that, he sends Fan Tao (Teng Wei Hao) to go undercover and become a member of the clan in the hopes that he can destroy it from within.

Directed by Sun Chung and written by Ni Kuang, this was a little seen Shaw Brothers film — until now. It doesn’t have the star power of other releases and has a lot of characters that don’t seem all that distinguishable, so maybe that’s why. It has a lot in common with Five Deadly Venoms but doesn’t have the wildness of that movie.

It does, however, have what all Shaw Brothers movies do. Great fights, horrific villains and no small amount of blood being spilled on all sides of the battle. I do love Sun Chung, however, and recommend that if you like his work here, you should track down Avenging Eagle, The Devil’s Mirror and Human Lanterns.

The 88 Films blu ray release of this movie has a slipcase with art by Sean Longmore and four collector’s art cards. I’m really excited that 88 Films has been releasing all of these Shaw Brothers films in the U.S., allowing me to have high quality copies of movies that were either once lost or that I’ve otherwise only seen on battered VHS tapes.

You can get it from MVD.