ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Jurassic Croc (2023)

Immortal Species is an OK title.

Jurassic Croc sells.

Nava is a botany student looking for a plant called a chalawan. He and his friends travel through the jungle to find it and you guessed it, most of them get masitcated by a man-eating crocodile.

Look at this IMDB trivia and marvel that someone wastes as much time as I do on movies like this: “The plant they are looking for in the film is called “Chalawan”. Well, Chalawan is an extinct genus of folidosaurid mesoeucrocodilid folidosaurid known from the Late Jurassic or Early Cretaceous Phu Kradung Formation of Nong Bua Lamphu province, northeastern Thailand. It contains a single species, Chalawan thailandicus, with Chalawan shartegensis as a possible second species.”

This movie could use less high school romance and more people eating. I think that’s true for almost every film I have ever watched.

You can watch this on Tubi.

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit (2008)

In 2009, the G8 Summit came to Pittsburgh, and the ad agency I worked at sent all of us white-water rafting. This is something I never wanted to do, and I don’t want to do it again. Numerous times, I was launched from the boat and at one point, I got stuck in rocks and couldn’t get above the water’s surface, so I just folded my arms on my chest vampire style and made my peace with death. The fact that I am writing this — unless this is an Ambrose Bierce moment — should tell you I survived. 

Anyway, this is a movie about the G8 Summit and a kaiju.

Made from footage from The X from Outer Space, this kicks off with a meteorite smashing its way into Sapporo and the kaiju Guilala being reborn. After decimating the city, Guilala transforms into a giant ball of fire and flies to the G8 Summit, just as the Prime Minister of Japan proposes cancelling the summit for the safety of all involved. Of course, the President of the United States convinces the other world leaders to stay and fight. Turns out it wasn’t a meteor but a Chinese satellite that fell out of orbit, carrying a cosmic spore that was exposed to Earth’s atmosphere, causing it to grow into the monster. I mean, what’s next, a zombie outbreak?

Turns out it wasn’t a meteor but a Chinese satellite that fell out of orbit, carrying a cosmic spore that was exposed to Earth’s atmosphere, causing it to grow into the monster. I mean, what’s next, a zombie outbreak?

The only way to stop this monster? Awakening Take-Majin, its ancient enemy, a kaiju that can catch nukes inside its butthole. I did not make that up. And it has the voice of Beat Takeshi!

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Half Human (1955)

Five young university students — Takashi Iijima, his girlfriend, Machiko Takeno, her older brother, Kiyoshi Takeno, and their friends, Nakada and Kaji — went to the Japanese Alps for a skiing vacation. Kiyoshi and Kaji go to meet their friend Gen, but in the middle of a blizzard, they’re lost, and a phone call only reports screams and a gunshot. And just who is the mysterious mountain girl Chika?

All they can find are large piles of fur, Gen’s body inside, Kaji’s in the snow and Kiyoshi has disappeared. Six months later, when the snow has melted, Takashi and Machiko join an expedition led by anthropologist Professor Shigeki Koizumi. The goal? Find a giant monkey man. They’re not alone, as a hunter named Oba wants the creature and nearly kills Takashi, who is rescued by Chika.

Poor Chika. She’s abused by her grandfather, who leads the village, a man who beats her for every mistake. By the end of the movie, the monster drags her into a sulphur pit as it dies. Chika didn’t ask for any of this.

This film was decided upon before Godzilla was released, with Ishiro Honda to direct. It was inspired by Eric Shipton’s photographs of large footprints found in the snow at Mount Everest. This film, however, has been seen more in the U.S. than in Japan. 

That’s because the villagers are similar to burakumin, who are outcasts at the bottom of the traditional Japanese social hierarchy. Their ancestors worked in jobs considered impure or tainted by death, such as executioners, undertakers, slaughterhouse workers, butchers or tanners. They’re even called by that name in the film. As a result of new civil rights in Japan protecting these castes, Toho has imposed a self-imposed ban on its own version of the film. The U.S. version of Half Human remains the only version available on home video worldwide.

As for the American version, remixed by Distributors Corporation of America, it features English-language scenes and narration. The scene where the child snowman is experimented on is replaced with footage of American scientists, including John Carradine (who also narrates), Robert Karnes, Russell Thorson, and Morris Ankrum. The new scene features the child snowman’s costume, which was sent by Toho to the U.S. for filming. The added U.S. sequences were directed by Kenneth G. Crane. This played double features with Monster from Green Hell (Zombo’s Closet has the pressbook).

You can download the Japanese version from the Internet Archive. There’s also a colorized version of the U.S. cut available on the site.

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Giantess Attack: Year Zero! (2022)

At once a sequel to Giantess Attack vs. Mecha Fembot and a remix of the original film, this movie proved to me I’d watch anything. And I liked it, as Mark Polonia keeps showing up as a hapless military man.

Here’s how Full Moon is selling this: “Hungry for more huge honey smackdowns? Of course you are! Get ready for Full Moon’s latest lunatic release, a prequel to the just as jaw-dropping GIANTESS ATTACK VS. MECHA FEMBOT! If big boobs, butts and beastly broads are your thing, don’t miss this massive hit!”

Deidre (Tasha Tacosa) and Frida (Rachel Riley) have just been cancelled — their show was Battle Babe and Combat Queen — but soon become giant women thanks to twin space fairies called the Metalunans (Christine Nguyen). Gen. Smedley Pittsburgh (Jed Rowen) tries to stop them, which ends up with, well, Deidre basically urinating on him, which gets watersports mixed in with maxcromastia, like some masturbatory chocolate and peanut butter.

They also shove the general into their, well, you know, parts.

There’s something for everyone.

Look, it’s 51 minutes long. You can do worse.

You can watch this on Tubi.

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Giantess Attack vs. Mecha Fembot (2019)

Directed and written by Jeff Leroy, this follows the 2017 film Giantess Attack

Diedre (Tasha Tacosa) and Frida (Rachel Riley) have split up, as Deidre claims she will never use her giant powers again. Yet when Frida learns that Metaluna (Christine Nguyen) has made Doctor Drew (John Karyus) create Mecha Fembot (Vlada Fox) to destroy our world, she has to do the battle by herself. At least it has a nod to the sunglasses fight in They Live. Otherwise…how can a movie about giant women fighting be boring? This movie figured it out.

This has some of the worst miniature and standard-sized people integrated with giant people moments you will ever see, but you know, if you’re a macrophiliac — someone sexually into giant people — good news! This is for you. And if you like feet, well, even better.

That said, as bad as this is, it’s strangely charming. It knows what it is and mires itself in that know-how.

You can watch this on Tubi.

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Death Kappa (2010)

One of the three major yokai of Japan, the kappa is a water monster that looks like a frog wth a turtle shell. While they were once said to be killing machines that loved to drown people and cattle. Sometimes, they would remove a mythical organ called the shirikodama from their victims’ buttholes. But now, we see them as mischievous monsters that perform acts of kindness when captured, like revealing a secret medicine.

Directed by Tomoo Haraguchi and written by Masakazu Migita, this film follows Kanako returning home after failing as an idol singer. Just as she arrives, her grandmother Fujiko is run down by a VW Beetle that also smashes a kappa shrine. Her grandmother tells her to protect the kappa, just as the people in the car are taken by strange creatures. As for the kappa, he likes to dance to Kanako’s songs.

One night, those same creatures come to take the kappa, which is saved by Kanako, who is, in turn, kidnapped and presented to a mad scientist named Yuriko. Her creatures are called Umihiko, fish samurai who were supposed to save Japan during World War II, and she’s guided by her mummified grandfather, whom she loves. She wants to resurrect bushido and Japanese imperialism, starting with the girls who killed Fujiko, turning them into sharp-toothed fishwomen. As the kappa comes to save the day, Yuriko sets off a nuclear bomb that transforms all the fish people into a kaiju known as Hangyolas. The kappa kills the monster, but goes on a rampage that only Kanako can stop by singing to him and refilling the bowl on his head.

While this is silly in parts, as a kappa lover, I was beyond pleased.

You can watch this on Tubi.

MILL CREEK LEGENDS OF HORROR: The Manxman (1929)

Alfred Hitchcock’s last silent film, The Manxman, is about fisherman Pete Quilliam (Carl Brisson and lawyer Philip Christian (Malcolm Keen), friends from birth, but both after the same woman: Kate (Anny Ondra). Pete asks Phillip to ask her father, Caesar Cregeen (Randle Ayrton), for permission to marry. He says no, as Pete is poor. He goes to Africa to make his fortune, leaving his friend behind to watch over Kate. 

As you can figure out, Phillip and Kate fall in love. Pete is said to have died in Africa, so they plan on being together, just in time for him to come home and marry her. But ah, one day at the Old Mill, they made love, so the baby she gave birth to doesn’t belong to her husband. It’s the child of the top judge in town, Phillip.

This movie was to be filmed on the Isle of Man, but Hitchcock eventually relocated production to Cornwall due to frequent creative interference from author Hall Caine. However, Caine was invited to Elstree Studios to observe. As for Carl Brisson, he got to play two cheated husbands for Hitchcock, in this movie and in The Ring

You can watch this on YouTube.

MILL CREEK LEGENDS OF HORROR: Juno and the Paycock (1930)

Based on Juno and the Paycock by Sean O’Casey, this movie follows Captain Boyle (Edward Chapman) living in a two-room tenement flat with his wife, Juno (Sara Allgood), and their children, Mary (Kathleen O’Regan) and Johnny (John Laurie). Juno has dubbed her husband The Paycock because he does nothing but drink. Mary has a job, but she’s on strike; Johnny has lost an arm and broken his hip during a fight, as this takes place during the Irish War of Independence. He’s also turned in a fellow IRA member, a crime that Boyle tells his drinking buddies is a horrible sin.

As for Mary, she leaves Jerry Devine (Dave Morris) for Charlie Bentham (John Longden), who tells Boyle that he’s due for an inheritance. If it ever happens, he’s already spent that. And it doesn’t, because Charles is a bad lawyer and person, as he leaves Mary pregnant before the wedding. Luckily, Jerry is happy to marry her, just in time for them to find out that Johnny has been shot to death.

Mary says, “It‘s true. There is no God.” 

It’s no wonder that Hitchcock used playwright O’Casey as his inspiration for the prophet in the diner in The Birds. This is dark, even when it’s attempting to be a comedy. 

You can download this from the Internet Archive.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Dressed to Kill (1980)

Let’s get this out of the way: Brian De Palma, much like Giallo, was heavily influenced by Hitchcock. In fact, when an interviewer asked Hitchcock if he saw the film as an homage, he replied, “You mean fromage.” That said — Hitchcock died three months before the film was released, so that story could be apocryphal (it’s been said that the famous director made this comment to either a reporter or John Landis).

What is true is the interview that De Palma did after Dressed to Kill (Rolling Stone, October 16, 1980).  The director claimed, “My style is very different from Hitchcock’s. I am dealing with surrealistic, erotic imagery. Hitchcock never got into that too much. Psycho is basically about a heist. A girl steals money for her boyfriend so they can get married. Dressed to Kill is about a woman’s secret erotic life. If anything, Dressed to Kill has more of a Buñuel feeling.”

However, I’d argue that this film has more in common with Giallo than anything the “Master of Suspense” directly created. That’s because—to agree with DePalma above—this film does not exist in our reality. Much like Argento’s The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, it exists in its dream reality, where the way we perceive time can shift and change based on the storyteller’s whims.

Yet what of DePalma being dismissive of Argento in interviews, claiming that while he saw the director as having talent, he’d only seen one of his films? Or should we believe his ex-muse/wife Nancy Allen, who claims that when she told DePalma that she was auditioning for Argento’s Inferno, he said, “Oh, he’s goooood.”

Contrast that with this very simple fact (and spoilers ahead, for those of you who worry about that sort of thing, but face facts, this movie is 37 years old): DePalma rips off one of Hitchcock’s best tricks from Psycho: he kills his main character off early in the film, forcing us to suddenly choose who we see as the new lead, placing the killer several steps ahead of not just our protagonists, but the audience itself.

And yet there are so many other giallo staples within this film: fashion is at the forefront, with a fetishistic devotion to gloves, dresses, spiked high heels, and lingerie being displayed and removed and lying in piles all over an apartment or doctor’s office. This is the kind of film that makes you stop and notice an outfit, such as what Kate Miller (Angie Dickinson, Big Bad Mama, TV’s Police Woman) wears to the Metropolitan Museum of Art or the blue coat that Liz Blake (Nancy Allen, CarrieStrange Invaders) wears to meet Dr. Robert Elliot (Michael Caine, how could we pick any movie other than Jaws 4: The Revenge).

Then there are the music cues from Pino Donaggio, who also scored Don’t Look Now, Fulci’s The Black Cat, and Argento’s Do You Like Hitchcock? The film not only looks the part, but it has intense sound, too.

We also have characters trying to prove their innocence, investigating ahead of the police. Or the son of the murder victim who wants to discover why his mother really died. Or her doctor, who has an insane patient named Bobbi who has stolen his straight razor and demands that she give him more time than the rest of her patients. All of them could be the killer. Giallo gives us no assurances that just because we see someone as the protagonist, there’s no reason they couldn’t also be the antagonist.

Let’s toss in a little moral ambiguity here, too. Kate is a woman who is bored with her life. She’s raised a son and seen her marriage lose any hope of sexual frisson. Liz is a prostitute — no slut shaming here, she’s a strong businesswoman more than anything  — but she’s also a practiced liar, as a scene shows her deftly manipulating several people via phone to get the money she needs to buy stock based off an insider tip she receives from a client. Dr. Elliot is obviously attracted to Kate but claims that his marriage prevents him from having sex with her. Yet it seems like he has secrets beyond informing the police of the threats of his obviously unbalanced patient, Bobbi. And then there’s Peter, Kate’s son, who has no issues using his surveillance equipment to spy on the police or Liz. If this character seems the most sympathetic, remember that he is the closest to the heart of DePalma, whose mother once asked him to follow and record his father to prove that he was cheating on her.

Finally, we have the color palette of Bava’s takes on giallo mixed with extreme zooms, split screens and attention to the eyes of our characters. The blood cannot be redder.

The film opens with Kate in the shower. While the producers asked Dickinson to claim that it’s her body, it’s really Victoria Johnson (Grizzly) as a body double. Her husband comes into the shower to make love to her, but she finds it robotic and not the passion she feels she deserves. Directly after, she tells Dr. Elliot that she’s frustrated and attempts to seduce him, but he rejects her.

More depressed than before the appointment started, she heads to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Despite being surrounded by inspiration, such as the statue of Diana by Saint-Guadens, West Interior by Alex Katz and Reclining Nude by Tom Palmore (a tip of the hat to the amazing I Talk You Bored blog for an insightful take on the film and the research as to what each work of art is), she absentmindedly writes entries in her schedule. Planning the holiday meal gets her through the mindlessness of her life, flowing penmanship reminding her to “pick up turkey” instead of slowing down and appreciating not just the artwork around her but the people. There’s a young couple in lust if not love. There’s a young family. And then, a man with dark glasses catches her eye before brazenly sitting down next to her.

We are used to male characters chasing after female characters who aren’t defined by anything other than being sex objects. Instead, we have Kate pursuing the man, making the first, second, and even third moves until we realize that she was just following the man’s breadcrumbs.

Of note here is that color plays an essential role in the scene, as do expected manners. Kate is a wife and mother. She is who society expects to have virtue, and she is clad in all white, but her intentions are anything but pure. She finally has what she wants—the thrilling sex life that she may have only read about in trashy paperbacks.

This scene is a master class in pacing and movement. Imagine, if you will, the words on the page: Kate follows a mystery man through the museum. And yet, those are just eight words. We get nearly nine minutes of wordless pursuit, yet it never grows dull.

Finally, Kate follows the man out of the museum, but she loses him until she looks up and sees her glove dangled from a taxi. But blink, and you miss death in the background as Bobbi blurs past the camera.

When we catch up with Kate, it’s hours for her but seconds for us because this movie is a dream universe. She wakes up in bed with a stranger. There’s a gorgeous camera move here as DePalma moves the camera backward, an inverse of how a lesser director would have treated this scene. Instead of showing the two lovers tumbling through the apartment and removing clothes at every turn, we see Kate reassembling herself to move from her fantasy world to reality and toward her real world, which will soon become a nightmare. The camera slides slowly backward as she gets dressed, remembering via split-screen and sly smile how she doesn’t even remember where her panties have gone. She’s still wearing white, but under it all, she’s bare, her garments lost in a strange man’s house. A man whose name she doesn’t even know.

So now, as she emerges from realizing her sexual fantasies, she feels that she must make sense of it. She wants to write a note to say goodbye but doesn’t want to overthink it. Maybe she doesn’t even want it to happen again. And then she learns more about the man. It starts with his name and then becomes more than she ever wished to find out: his health report shows that he has multiple STDs.

Kate leaves the apartment and makes her way to the elevator, where she tries to avoid anyone’s eyes. In the background, we see an ominous red light, ala Bava. Bobbi—death and punishment for sin—is coming.

The death scene — I hold fast to my claim that The New York Ripper is close to this film but made by a director who doesn’t have the sense to cut away from violence — DePalma stages his version of the shower scene. But more than Psycho, we’ve come to identify with Kate. She’s a woman fast approaching middle age who wants a thrill, and yet, she’s punished by disease and death. She didn’t deserve this, and her eyes pleaded not to the killer as much as they did to the camera. And to us.

Here’s where we have to wonder aloud about DePalma’s long-discussed misogyny. This film was protested by women’s groups, who stated in this leaflet that “FROM THE INSIDIOUS COMBINATION OF VIOLENCE AND SEXUALITY IN ITS PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL TO SCENE AFTER SCENE OF WOMEN RAPED, KILLED, OR NEARLY KILLED, DRESSED TO KILL IS A MASTER WORK OF MISOGYNY.” Is DePalma guilty of the slasher film trope of “you fuck, and you die?” Maybe. Perhaps if she had remembered her marriage, at best, she wouldn’t be here. At worst, she wouldn’t have forgotten her ring in the stranger’s apartment and would have survived.

The way I see it, the death of Kate allows us to make the transition from past protagonist to new heroine, as the doors open post-murder to reveal a grisly scene to Liz and her john. The older man runs while Liz reaches out to Kate, their eyes meeting and fingers nearly touching. Kate’s white purity has been decimated by the razor slashes of Bobbi, the killer. As their transference is almost complete, Liz notices Bobbi in the mirror. Remember that we’re in a dream state? Time completely stops here, so we get an extreme zoom of both the mirror and Liz’s face. She escapes just in time, grasping the murder weapon and standing in the hallway, blood on her hands as a woman screams in the background, figuring her for the killer.

At this point, the film switches its protagonist. Unlike the films of David Lynch, like Mulholland Drive, this transference is not a changed version of the main character, but her exact opposite. Kate wore white, was older, and had a marriage and child, yet she slowly came to feel like an object to the men in her life. Liz wore black, was young and single, but was wise to the games of sex and power. She isn’t manipulated, turning the tables on men by using their needs for personal gain. Kate may have seen sexual fantasy as her greatest need, but for Liz, it’s just a means to an end.

Kate and Liz are as different as can be. For example, Kate goes to the museum to find inspiration. Liz only sees art as commerce, and she spends plenty of time explaining to Peter how much money she could make by acquiring a painting.

Dr. Elliott discovers a message from Bobbi on his answering machine (these machines and the narrative devices they enable must seem quaint and perhaps even anachronistic to today’s moviegoers). Once, Bobbi was his patient, but he refused to sign the paperwork for their (as the pronoun hasn’t been defined, so I’ll use they/their) sex change. In fact, Dr. Elliot has gone so far as to convince Bobbi’s new doctor that they are a danger to herself and others.

The police, however, have arrested Liz, and Detective Marino (Dennis Franz, TV’s Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue) doesn’t believe a word she has to say. There’s a great moment here where Liz goes from wide-eyed ingenue to knowing cynic in the face of Marino’s misogynistic tone. Meanwhile, Kate’s son Peter (Keith Gordon, Jaws 2Christine) uses his listening devices in the station to learn more about his mother’s death than the police are willing to let on.

He begins tracking Liz, obsessively noting the times that she comes and goes from her apartment. He’s doing the same to Elliot’s office. But he’s not the only one tracking people. Bobbi has been stalking Liz, including a sequence where our heroine goes from being chased by a gang of black men to talking with an unbelieving police officer to Peter saving her from Bobbi with a spray of mace.

Because Peter has seen Bobbi also emerging from Dr. Elliott’s office, so he joins forces with Liz to discover who she is. That means that Liz uses her chief weapon — sex — to distract the doctor long enough to discover Bobbi’s real name and information. We learn that Liz’s mental sex game is as strong as her physical attributes here — she says that she must be good to be paid as well as she is. She knows precisely the fantasy Dr. Elliott wants to hear. But perhaps she also knows the fantasy that the mainly male slasher/giallo viewer wants: the woman submitting to the killer holding the knife.

Peter watches outside in the rain when a tall blonde pulls him away. Has he been taken by Bobbi? No — Liz returns to have sex with Dr. Elliott; he has been replaced by the killer. Bobbi lifts the razor as Liz helplessly crosses her arms in front of her face for protection. But at the last minute, the blonde who grabbed Peter outside is revealed to be a police officer, as she shoots Bobbi through the glass. That shattered pane also breaks Bobbi’s illusion and mask, revealing that Dr. Elliott is the man under the makeup and clothes.

The killer is arrested and goes into an insane asylum; Dr. Levy explains that while the Bobbi side of his personality wanted to be free, the Dr. Elliott side would not allow them to become a true woman. Therefore, whenever a woman broke through and aroused the male side of the persona, the female side would emerge and kill the offending female.

Inside the mental asylum, a buxom nurse attends to the male patients. The room is bathed in blue light, a cool lighting scheme that echoes Mario Bava’s films. The movie has moved from a dream version of reality to a pure dream sequence. It intrigues me that Carrie and Dressed to Kill both start with a shower scene and end with a dream threat to the surviving secondary heroine.

Within the asylum, Dr. Elliott overcomes the nurse and slowly, methodically, folds her clothing over her nude form. As he begins to either dress in her clothes — or worse, molest her dead body — the camera slowly moves upward as we realize that there is a gallery of other patients all watching and screaming. This scene reminds me of the gallery of residents watching a doctor perform surgery, yet inverted (have you caught this theme yet?) and perverted.

Bobbi emerges once again, and because she is dead, she cannot be stopped. Liz is bare and helpless in the shower, and nothing can protect her from being slashed and sliced and murdered — except that none of this is real. She awakens, screaming in bed, and Peter rushes in to protect her. And for the first time in the film (again, thanks to I Talk You Bored for noticing), she is wearing white.

Many find this a hard movie to stomach due to its misogyny. I’ll see you that and tell you it’s a misanthropic film that presents all of humanity, male and female, negatively. The men in this film are actually treated the way women usually are in films, as either silent sex objects (Warren Lockman), sexless enemies (Kate’s husband), shrill harpies that need to be defeated (Detective Marino) or sexless best friends who provide the hero with the tools they need to save the day (Peter). Seriously, in another film, one would think Peter would have a sexual interest in Liz, but despite her double entendres and come-ons, he remains more concerned with schedules and numbers and evidence.

Bobbi, the combination of male and female, comes across as a puritan punisher of females who benefit from sex, either emotionally or monetarily. Or perhaps they are just destroying the sex objects that they know that the male side of their brain will never allow them to become. Interestingly, Bobbi’s voice doesn’t come from Michael Caine but from De Palma regular William Finley (The Phantom of Phantom of the Paradise).

What else makes this a giallo? The police seem either unwilling to help at best or ineffectual at worst until they tie things up neatly at the end. And the conclusion, when the hand emerges not from the doorway — but the medicine cabinet — to slash Liz echoes the more fantastic films in the genre, such as SuspiriaAll the Colors of the Dark and Stagefright, where reality just ceases to exist. At the end of all three films, the heroine has confronted the fantastic and may never be the same.

In the first, Suzy narrowly escapes from hell on earth and emerges laughing in the rain. Is she happy that she survived? Has she achieved a break from reality? Is she breaking the fourth wall and laughing at how insane the film has become, pleased that the torture is finally over?

In the final scene of All the Colors of the Dark, the fantasy world is all a ruse, yet our heroine, Jane, is now trapped in the dream world. She can tell what will happen before it does; she knows that her husband has both slept with and killed her sister, but he has saved her from a fate worse than death. Yet all she can do is shout, “I’m scared of not being myself anymore. Help me!”

In Stagefright, the final girl walks out of the scene and out of reality as she defeats the killer. She has transcended being an actress to removing herself from fiction.

In all these films, the characters are not unchanged by their experiences with the dream world. In Dressed to Kill, the final dream sequence renders Liz truly frightened for the first time in the film. It’s the only time we see her as vulnerable — even when faced with an entire gang of criminals on the subway, she retains her edge. As Peter reaches out to comfort her — the only sexless male in the film and not just a sublimated one like Dr. Elliott — she recoils from his touch before giving in to his protective embrace.

In the same way, the film changes us. It has thrilled us, made us think, or even made us angry. True cinema—true art, really—makes us confront what we find most uncomfortable. Sure, we can deride and decry many of this film’s choices, but the fact that I’ve devoted days of writing and over three thousand words to it speaks to its potency. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far.

PS—I’ve often discussed—in person and on podcasts—that I experienced so many R-rated movies for the first time via Mad Magazine. I’m delighted I could find the Mort Drucker illustration for his skewering of Dressed to Kill.

MILL CREEK LEGENDS OF HORROR: The Skin Game (1931)

Based on the play by John Galsworthy, this early Hitchcock film explores themes of social class conflict and industrialization, focusing on the feud between the Hillcrist (C.V. France and Helen Haye play the elder Mr. and Mrs. Hillcrist, and Jill Esmond appears as their daughter, Jill) and the Hornblower (Edmund Gwenn, John Longden, and Frank Lawton) families. Despite being a member of the working class, Mr. Hornblower plays the skin game: buying up land under false pretenses, claiming he’s allowing tenant farmers to remain, then booting them out, and then constructing factories. The Hillcrists learn of this and regret giving him land, as he plans to transform their gorgeous views into smoke and industry.

The Hillcrists respond to this by muckraking up some gossip about the sordid past of Hornblower’s now pregnant daughter-in-law Chloe (Phyllis Konstam), wife of Charles, who learns the secret — she was a sex worker — before Chloe can explain, and she drowns herself, highlighting the tragic consequences of societal judgment and personal secrets.

When Truffaut spoke to him about this movie, Hitchcock said, “I didn’t make it by choice, and there isn’t much to be said about it. We shot with four cameras and a single soundtrack because we couldn’t cut sound in those days.” This reflects the stage play origins and the technical limitations of early filmmaking, which contrast with Hitchcock’s later innovative style.

You can download this from the Internet Archive.