June 21: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is Westerns!

“One night, you will see a red star overhead. It will shine like a great diamond. On the night, you will go far away. Further than where you came from. You are a legend, Little Rita. A beautiful legend. You arrived from the void and you’re returning to the void.”

Little Rita wasn’t even five feet tall and weighed around 86 pounds. The Italian/Swiss singer and actress was known as la Zanzara di Torino (The Mosquito of Torino) and Pel di carota (Carrot Hair). Yet she sold 50 million records worldwide and is one of the few Italian singers to score on the UK pop charts. Her release of “Remember Me”, sung in English, with “Just Once More” on the other side, reached #26 in the U.S. and she was a frequent guest of The Ed Sullivan Show. But in Spain, other than Italy, she has the most success. 

In the 60s, she’d make six films — this movie, Clementine Cherie, La Feldmarescialla (The Crazy Kids of the War), Rita the American Girl, Rita La Zanzara (Rita the Mosquito) and Non Stuzzicate la Zanzara (Don’t Sting the Mosquito) — with the latter three directed by Lina Wertmüller.

Like all great Italian singers, she had a scandal. She married Teddy Reno, the man who organized the first song contest she won, a man who was still married. They were married in Switzerland in 1968 and officially in Italy in 1971, a country that had no official divorce law at the time.

In this, she’s Big Little Rita, somehow the fastest and deadliest gunfighter around, the “bestest in the West,” who is helping Silly Bull (Gordon Mitchell, who I imagine loaned his Western ranch set to this) to destroy the white man’s gold, which he believes has ruined the good nature of the world. Somehow, just a few years into the Italian West and not only is it being parodied, it’s also being called out for its anti-authoritarian bent.

This brings her into combat with both Ringo (Kirk Morris, who was really Adriano Bellini, a star of peplum and fumetti) and Django (Enzo Di Natale, who only made this movie, which is odd as I’m shocked more Italian directors didn’t cast him as a fake Franco Nero) in this comedic West. There’s also a character named Zorro, played by Romano Puppo, who was the leader of the zombies in Zombie 4: After Death, as well as showing up in Cop Game, Robowar and Escape from the Bronx as Trash’s father.

After Rita is taken by Sancho (Fernando Sancho, who was in the Spanish Civil War on the side of the rebels and would go on to be in several Italian Westerns, as well as playing the corrupt mayor in Return of the Blind Dead) and his men, she’s rescued by a dashing young cowboy named Black Star, who is Terrence Hill, four years before making what many consider the first Italian comedy Western, They Call Me Trinity.

Yet when they fall in love, that first night, he does what every other white man does and steals the gold. When caught, he’s sent to the Native Americans for punishment, but Rita talks them into letting him go. He feels bad for how he’s treated her and keeps turning himself in to be hanged. It takes him telling her he loves her for this all to end, at which point all the gold is destroyed, and Rita goes somewhere, following that deep dialogue about being a legend. He goes into the stars to get her back.

“A movie should have a happy ending, or no one would go see it.”

That’s what Francis Fitzgerald Grawz, the piano-playing singer from Germany, played by Lucio Dalla, says at the end. His talent caused Pupi Averti to give up music for directing, inspiring his movie Ma quando arrivano le ragazze. Another singer, Teddy Reno, plays the sheriff. Yes, the same Teddy Reno who had the scandal with Rita.

Director Ferdinando Baldi, who co-wrote the script with Franco Rossetti (who had a right to make fun of Django and Ringo, as he was one of the writers of both the original Django, the non-official sequel Django Prepare a Coffin and Ringo and His Golden Pistol, not to mention Zabriskie Point under his Americanized name Fred Gardner; he also directed and wrote Delitto al circolo del tennis and Emanuelle and Joanna, which has Sherry Buchanan in it), also made Texas Adios, Blindman, Long Lasting Days (as Sam Livingstone), Get Mean,  Nine Guests for a Crime, Comin’ at Ya!, Treasure of the Four Crowns, War Bus, Terror Express, Tan Zan: The Ultimate Mission and Just a Damned Soldier (as Ted Kaplan on the last two). I’ve seen tons of his movies!

It was shot by Enzo Barboni, the cinematographer on Django (and Nightmare Castle), so it looks just like the films it’s making light of. Of course, he would go on to make They Call Me Trinity, perfecting what started in this.

In France, after the success of the Trinity movies, this was re-released as T’as le bonjour de Trinita (Hello from Trinity). It was called Enas trellos… trellos Trinita (Crazy, Crazy Trinity) in Greece and Crazy Westerners in the U.S.

How about the fact that Fernanda Dell’Acqua — thanks Spaghetti Western Database — the sister of stuntmen Alberto, Ottaviano and Roberto was Rita’s stunt double? This movie ended her career, as her horse ran toward a ravine and didn’t stop. She barely got off in time, but ruined her leg. She was told, weeks later, that the horse died from regret. But this is Italy…

At one point, Gordon Mitchell’s Chief tells Rita, “You will return to nothingness, because from nothingness you came.” That’s a very sage — and saga — thing to say to a heroine. Also very Catholic.

A musicarello Italian Western with Pink Panther credits with an anti-capitalism streak, golden hand grenades, evil versions of cowboy icons and a gorgeous leading lady who, despite being tiny, gives it her all. I had no expectations and came away inspired.

You can watch this on YouTube.