Junesploitation 2022: Brainsmasher… A Love Story (1993)

June 27: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is Albert Pyun! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

Who are we to say that Andrew “Dice” Clay and Teri Hatcher could not be a couple?

Anyways, the Diceman was not on the top of the world in 1993 — a proposed network series was canceled and he started honing down the edge in his stand-up routine. But somehow, he played a near superheroic bouncer that battles martial artists over a rare lotus flower and when I say, “Yeah, Albert Pyun directed and wrote this,” that pretty much explains it all.

The bad guys are not ninjas — they will say this often — but Chinese Shaolin monks who believe that eating the lotus flower will give them infinite life. It’s in the orbit of the Brain Smasher (Clay) because Cammy Crain (Deborah Van Valkenburgh, Jackie on Too Close for Comfort and, of course, The Warriors) has sent the flower to her supermodel sister (Hatcher).

Wu, the leader of The Shaolin Monks, is played by Yuji Okumoto. As Chozen in The Karate Kid Part II, he is the best bad guy ever as even in the face of a hurricane, he will not redeem himself.

This film also packs on the character actors, with Brion James, Charles Rocket, Nicholas Guest and Tim Thomerson as detectives, Liz Sheridan as Brain Smasher’s mother (meaning that Sheridan played mother to Jerry Seinfeld and Andrew “Dice” Clay in the very same year), Dee “Matilda the Hun” Booher and Liz Shaye.

This only came out on VHS in the U.S. and never even made it to DVD. I mean, who doesn’t want to see Dice punch a man into his brain? The title does not lie. This does happen.

Chattanooga Film Festival: Proyecto Fantasma (2022)

Pablo (Juan Cano) dreams of being an actor but until that happens, he’s paying the bills doing the only acting role he can find, playing a patient that medical school students can practice on, as well as taking part as a paid member of alternative therapy sessions.

Much of this movie — well, maybe not the ghost but who knows — comes from the life of Chilean filmmaker and screenwriter Roberto Doveri, whose friends make up much of the cast.

Pablo had been just surviving when his roommate leaves, which leaves behind back rent, some clothes, lots of plants, a dog and, yes, that ghost that we see entangle itself in everyone’s life by way of incredibly effective animation.

Your mileage may vary on this as it’s talky and meandering, but then again, a ghost has sex with a guy and you don’t see that all that often, so it is something.

Remember — this weekend, you can buy a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: Interface (2017)

Originally a web series, each segment of this tool two months to make, created by Canadian YouTuber and animator u m a m i, whose real name is Justin Tomchuk. You can see a collected version of the first part of the series here and the second part here.

I guess the thing to realize is that The Philadelphia Experiment is a real event and it caused a phenomenon called Cerebral Energy to be revealed, changing the color of the sky and unleashing ghosts and giving the blue guy named Henryk immortality. He’s joined by a character called Mischief, who is kind of a trickster god who likes to go on about man’s nature and then transform himself into something silly.

There’s also something about ghost stories and myths becoming reality, all while numerous pieces of famous art form the cartoon that you are downloading through your eyes. You’ll get to see everything from René Magritte’s “The Son of Man,” Dali’s “Birth of The Geopoliticus Child” and Edward Hopper’s “Nighthawks at the Diner” and dialogue like “If what you want is to live with the memories you cherish most, live here within the Interface” is read in monotone.

It’s not for everybody. I mean, your chance of loving it is just as high as hating it. But you should at least check it out.

Remember — this weekend, you can buy a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: Honeycomb (2022)

Leader (Destini Stewart), Willow (Sophie Bawks-Smith), Jules (Jillian Frank), Vicky (Mari Geraghty) and Millie (Rowan Wales) have gone all Lord of the Flies Canada edition and leave behind parents and boyfriends to live in the woods all on their own with their own rules and things go about exactly as well as you’d expect when five teenage girls lose their minds.

The girls live under a rule of suitable revenge, which means if someone upsets you, you get to go after them with all the force and madness that an 18-year-old girl who has never left home before can muster which is a metric ton if you were worried about the conversion.

First-time director Avalon Fast and co-writer Emmett Roiko have put together an interesting script, but the performances are stilted and near-student level — I love reading reviews that claim this is intended and makes it a better movie, film people will forgive anything — while the editing is not the best and the sound quality is borderline static at best in some scenes. That said, there are moments that look gorgeous, which stand out and make you wish the same care was delivered throughout the movie.

That said, I do love parts of this, like the letters the girls write to loved ones before they leave, like Leader telling her boyfriend, “When I want you, I’ll come get you.” This feels like a trial run — like your teen years — for something better, remembering the rough edges yet knowing how to imbue them with the honey of experience.

Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Remember — this weekend, you can buy a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: The History of Metal and Horror (2022)

Metal and horror are the two things that got me out of a small-minded high school during the height of the Satanic Panic and have been part of my life every single day.

So why did I just finish a two and a half hour plus documentary about both and feel let down? Is it the absolute waste of time framing story that I disliked despite Michael Berryman being in it? Or the fact that just like every other one of these talking head endless runtime docs, it devolves into “that’s really the best of the sequels” babble? How many times do we have to hear so many people discuss the same movie and add nothing new to the conversation?

That said, there are a few folks in here who I could listen to at length, like Alice Cooper, Corey Taylor, Phil Anselmo and a few others who genuinely have a lot to say about films and intriguing bands — as much as I dislike his politics, Phil at least name drops Australian maniacs Portal and Ghoul is in it for a second — and that’s what I want to get more of.

This movie takes more than an hour before it glosses over a very important point: horror movies begat heavy metal which has repaid horror movies. Earth was a blues band that kept walking past a marquee for a packed theater playing Mario Bava’s Black Sabbath. A name change later, some lost fingers and a detuned lead guitar line and you have the reason why metal was born.

So yes, some lip service gets paid to Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, Arthur Brown or Screaming Lord Sutch, who were true shock rockers before we knew there was such a thing. And in the seven years it took to make this, I can only assume how much was taken out about Marilyn Manson. But true gems like Corpsegrinder mentioning Baltimore’s Ghost Host get lost amongst chest puffery, metal brodom and “this is my family” inanity.

Perhaps the best line is reserved for Gunnar Hansen, who reminds us all that no one should like horror or metal and we should celebrate being outsiders instead of continually feeling that we’re put upon. We choose to have long hair, to wear this vest, to love bands with logos that no one can ever read. Put up the horns and be proud of being something no one is proud of.

If you check out the official page, there are a ton of stars in this movie. I just wish it built to a better story. There’s a glimmer of connecting the two worlds, comparing the video nasty era with the PMRC, but that intriguing notion is quickly dashed. There’s so much to get to, so many people to hear from, but most of this is sadly sound and fury signifying nothing.

Just get Mike McPadden’s Heavy Metal Movies instead. Or watch Trick or Treat.

Remember — this weekend, you can buy a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: Munkie (2021)

Jennifer Pan’s parents left Vietnam for Canada where they toiled at Magna International, an auto parts manufacturer in Ontario, working hard at car part manufacturing so that their children would have a much better life than they did.

They were also incredibly strict and had extremely high expectations. Jennifer was already training to be an Olympic-level figure skater and concert pianist by the age of 4. Jennifer was dropped off at school and picked up, monitored even when not home and not allowed to date boys or go to school dances. By the time she was 22, she had never been drunk, never gone on vacation without her family and never even been to a club.

All along, her parents thought that she had good grades. The truth was, other than music, she was a C-average student. To get around that, she continually forged her report cards and she even secretly taught piano and worked in a restaurant to earn money that she told them was a scholarship for her to study in the pharmacology program at the University of Toronto. She even bought textbooks and faked notes from YouTube classes to further allow her parents to think she was in school.

The truth? She was living with her mixed heritage — a big issue with her family — marijuana dealing and Boston Pizza-employee boyfriend. Her parents eventually found out when the deceptions grew too big to explain and it was discovered that she never even graduated high school. She was forced to break up with the guy, who got a new and younger girlfriend, and she went off the deep end, claiming that he had hired a gang of men to assault her and she was mailed one bullet by her lover’s new girlfriend.

After trying to pay a goth kid to kill her parents, she got back with the old boyfriend and they spent $10,000 to hire real hitmen to kill mom and dad, knowing that she’d get $500,000 in the will. That’s what we call business sense. Well, the killers did get her mother, but her father survived and when the case fell apart, she was convicted for 25 years in jail, never permitted to contact her family or lover again.

That story inspired Munkie, in which Stephen Chow directs the tale of Rose (Xana Tang), a young woman rebelling against her tiger parents. And by that, I mean paying to get them killed. Yet in the way that the film is made, you feel for her and understand perhaps what drove her to this point. You still understand that she’s not a good person, but again, she didn’t get to this point by herself.

You can watch the film here:

You can also watch this at the Chattanooga Film Festival. This weekend, you can buy a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: Sleep (2022)

Director and writer Alexandra Pechman (who wrote an episode of the lamented Channel Zero, “Where Did You Sleep Last Night”) has an audacious idea here: film Kate Adams (who was also in her film Thumb) for nearly four minutes in the same unmoving shot as she loses her mind at the sound of home invaders just feet away from her.

Bonus — many bonus — points given for ending this as a variation of the urban legend of the licking dog, yet adding plenty more to that tale. No spoilers — this is an inspired film that truly could only work as a short. Well done.

You can get a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: What Happened to The Others? (2022)

With just 7 minutes and $6,000 in the budget to tell the story, Douglas Wicker (Bang the Drum: The Life & Death of a Small Town Music SceneBad People) deals with a family’s trauma by way of mysterious creatures that they’re been worrying about since grandfather first saw them fifty years ago. Now, it seems as if those things — whatever they are — have returned.

The best part of seeing this as part of the Chattanooga Film Festival was getting to see Wicker interact and explain more of the film, including behind-the-scenes shots. He said that the film is “a love letter to films with amazing folklore and creature biologists like Alien and Pumpkinhead, but also channeling a lot of emotional conflict and concepts I’ve struggled with in my life.”

He also discussed how the run time didn’t allow him to do all that he wanted to do, as he saw the first act as the setup, the second as a rescue mission and the third as a full-blown siege film. I’d love to see him expand this story and get to make this as a larger and longer film, because what is in this short has enough for three movies worth of effects-driven horror.

You can get a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: The Woodsman (2022)

If you told me that a movie about a man struggling to sell the last three trees out of his lot on Christmas Eve would be one of the best films that I saw at a festival, well, I probably would have laughed. And then probably asked you to show me this magical movie.

I’m so glad that I watched the story of Bernie Davis, a Christmas tree salesman fueling his night with hard sell tactics and no small amount of Jack Daniels served into a coffee cup.

John R. Smith Jnr, who plays Bernie, is beyond fantastic, feeling like he’s lived these cold nights waiting for customers to rid him of the trees that he’s tended to for an entire year. He’s all carnie on the outside and frazzled neurotic on the inside, a man trapped by life to live in a trailer and keep selling these trees every year for some dark reason that we can never, ever know.

Kyle Kutcha also made Survival of the Film Freaks and Fantasm, a movie about the importance of horror conventions. He’s made something great here, a film that focuses its lens nearly throughout on Bernie and finds sad, hilarious, frightening and finally resigned moments in his very strange life.

You can get a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!

Chattanooga Film Festival: Box (2022)

Directed by Jonathan Shander, who wrote the film with Joe Wolff and produced it with Sage Bennett, Box starts Max Rubin as a doomsday prepper whose life is routine, routine, routine. Well, a strange box shows up and throws his whole life into a toe shooting off frenzy.

It isn’t about how the box got there or who sent it, but why the prepper had to even be there in the first place, as the film posits that once things were much more normal. I kind of get it through — I’m still eating all the hundreds of canned meat that I bought when the pandemic started.

You can get a back half half price badge to watch all of the awesome movies at the Chattanooga Film Festival and see them until 6/29!  Get yours right here!