GiAnts (2008)

Meteors have hit the Earth, but everything worked out. Well, it did until giant ants that sleep inside the planets core are awakened and make their way to the surface. Or maybe they were all in blocks of ice and needed thawed out. Despite a long spoken introduction even this movie isn’t all that sure.

A rich industrialist brings in bug expert John Caine (Mel Novak) to check out the giant insect they’ve captured, but he’s rich and therefore bad and tries to kill our protagonist just as ants begin attacking all over the world. Luckily, John’s daughter Audrey (Tina-Desiree Berg) is able to help the military battle those monstrous picnic ruiners.

If you’ve a fan of bad CGI, tones shifting between gore and a child movie, characters that you actively hope will die, bad editing and a story that never even tries to make sense, you may find something here.

Director and writer Carribou Seto is actually David Huey, who made a whole bunch of movies with Gary Daniels in the 1990s. You know, the dude from the live action Fist of the North Star.

This is on YouTube but I don’t even want to share the link because if you’re like me, hearing how bad it is will make you watch it.

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