Child of Peach (1987)

There are movies that blow your mind and then there are movies that make you wonder if you’ve been experiencing reality properly. I use the term movie drugs on here pretty often.

Welcome to the black tar heroin of movie drugs.

Chung-Hsing Chao was an actor who’d been in movies like  Buddha’s Palm and Dragon FistHeroic Rivals and Born Invicible, as well as a stunt coordinator for Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow IIThe Miracle Fighters and Magnificent 7 Kung Fu Kids. He also directed this movie along with Chun-Liang Chen. These are simple facts.

They can’t explain to you what you’re about to see.

The first of the Taiwanese Peach Kid trilogy — along with Magic of Spell and Magic Warriors — the movie adapts the Japanese legend of Momotaro, a hero born from a giant peach who battles demons with his animal friends, not unlike Yokai Monsters: Spook Warfare.

Again all facts.

So how about this? Imagine if Superman’s parents found him inside a piece of fruit and name him Peach Kid and raise him to be a good person, which means fighting King Devil, the man who has wanted him dead since he was a baby. But also keep in mind that Superman’s parents are an old married couple and are constantly battling one another in a war of words, more like a real married couple than the comic book unreality.

Also imagine that movies for kids can be filled with incredible degrees of violence and profanity while still telling a positive lesson. Where monkeys peeing is the height of comedy — it is — and speaking of animals, our hero can team up with Tiny Dog, Tiny Monkey, Tiny Cock and Knight Melon to fight evil, which takes the form of a witch and her army of miniature 80s hair metal dudes.

There’s also a peach-based robot, a Sun Sword, demon dismemberment, stunts that look way to painful to have not been, incredible fights, wire work, a demonic mutant shark getting definned and so much more.

Really, these kinds of movies need to be experienced in what I refer to as analog moments, where you stop taking notes and just let the high overtake you. This is high level strangeness from Taiwan, a country very much unlike our own, made decades ago and unconcerned with looking or feeling or acting like any movie that’s come before or since. Shut off that part of your mind that says that this is alien, that this is silly, that this is a goofy martial arts movie and you can see how fake the effects are. Pretend you’re a child again. Pretend you’re a cosmic being. Pretend that the world can be this good, if even for the running time of this film.

You can watch this on YouTube.

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