Peligro…! Mujeres en Acción (1969)

Danger…! Women in Action is all about René Cardona Jr. trying whatever it takes to entertain you and take your money. Starting with 1964’s Las Hijas de Elena, the son of the director of movies* like Santa ClausSurvive! and Zindy the Swamp Boy would direct 99 films of his own — someday, I’ll write a song called “44 Lines About 99 René Cardona Jr. Films” — that are some of the most berserk movies I’ve seen, such as Guyana: Cult of the DamnedTintorera: Killer Shark and Night of 1000 Cats.

The sequel to 1967’s SOS Conspiracion Bikini, this adventure finds Alex Dinamo (Julio Alemán, who also played the superhero Rocambole) and the mostly female agents of Secret Organizational Service (S.O.S.) — which is pretty woke for a Eurospy movie, as even the top brass of this spy group seem to be women — stop terrorists from destroying oil fields, damaging manufacturing and even poisoning Miami’s drinking water.

Alma Delia Fuentes (Dr. Satan), Elsa Cárdenas (who was in The Mummies of Guanajuato as well as The Wild Bunch and Giant), Amadee Chabot (a former Ms. California 1964 who was in the Matt Helm movies Murderer’s Row and The Silencers, as well as Agente 00 Sexy, the Santo as a spy movie El Tesoro de Moctezuma, the Capulina and Chespirito as spies caper Operación Carambola, the Nick Adams as fake Bond flick Los Asesinos and the strange and wonderful Las Sicodélicas; she has all the qualifications to be a Bond girl yet sadly only appeared in the movies inspired by 007**), Barbara Angely (Chanoc and Click, Fotógrafo de Modelos), Nadia Milton (Santo vs. the Head Hunters) and Jessica Munguía (who was in 1966’s Santo movie Profanadores de Tumbas, which is also called Grave Robbers and has nothing to do with Ladrones de Tumbas, which is also known as Grave Robbers in the U.S.) all appear in this film.

One of the few other male agents is S.O.S. Agent Jack (César del Campo, who can boast of being in a magical art film like Luis Buñuel’s The Exterminating Angel and several Santo films), who is known as El Hombre de la Mano Dorada (The Man with the Golden Hand), which is genius, as it combines one Bond book title (The Man with the Golden Gun) and does Goldfinger three fingers and a thumb better.

Also, because this is one of René Jr.’s movies, look for an extended scene of SCUBA diving  with a gorgeous woman coming up against a shark. The dude knew what his audience wanted, you know?

*The Cardona bloodline continued with René Cardona III, who has kept up the maniac zeal of his forebearers with stalwart entries such as Vacaciones de Terror and Pesadilla Fatale. He also acts in several movies, including playing the aforementioned Zindy for his grandfather, in Cyclone and Bermuda Triangle for his father and Cementerio de Terror for another second-generation director, Rubén Galindo Jr.

**She no longer plays a secret agent, but is a Century 21 agent.

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