Anna Kent (Raylene Harewood) is the CEO of the company that she started with her husband, COO Brill Cooper (Rainbow Sun Francks). However, he’s been cheating on her with Ophelia Skye (Jessica Thomas), who has discovered an ayahuasca by way of The Substance drug that unlocks the potential of the human spirit. Along with her adopted brother Quan (Christopher Omari), Anna is out for revenge and to save what’s hers.

Directed by Mitchell Ness and written by Juliette Monaco and Emily Pillemer, this has a modern way of looking at the issue: Anna and Ophelia soon learn they have more in common than just both being with Brill. They may be perfect for one another.

That said, no one really cares about each other except the two women. People puke out the elixir and die, Quan gets killed doing Anna’s espionage and podcasters are catty. That said, it’s a Tubi Original out to entertain you with almost no budget. I assume most of the money went to the yogi studio and the Temu activator.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Tubi is more than America’s video store. Now it’s our supermarket checkout lane, as TMZ and The New York Post have made exclusive documentaries on Luigi Mangione, the alleged murderer of UnitedHealthcare CEO killer Brian Thompson.

I get the need to race to a headline and a story here, but there’s so much to unpack, perhaps way more than a tabloid take can give us. The New York Post version gives us a breakdown by reporters who were there and a deeper take on why the public has started to romanticize Mangione.

Interestingly, the New York Times refers to him as “an Ivy League-educated tech whiz,” and TMZ calls him “a privileged man.” Over the next few years, if the free press survives the next four years, we’ll look back on this time as when ordinary people looked at murder as a crime that was forgivable, which is something that seemed inconceivable years ago. And yet, while there are issues with the health care system, this was still someone with children. And yet, does Mangione have a point, and was this the only way? — of getting across how bad it has been?

I can’t comment either way. I just watch these documentaries and try to understand a world that seems to be falling apart daily.

You can watch both of these movies on Tubi:

TMZ Investigates: Luigi Mangione: The Mind of a Killer

New York Post Presents: Luigi Mangione Monster or Martyr?

Is TMZ helping celebrities or taking advantage of them? I think this time they’re doing the right thing, as Wendy Williams has been confined to a New York City assisted living facility, living like a prisoner, despite her claiming there is nothing wrong with her mental ability.

Harvey Levin, who has known her for decades, even claims she’s herself again. Yet no one is allowed to visit or call her. She can make calls out, which she does in this, with a long-range camera capturing her as she pushes her face against a window. It’s frankly kind of terrifying.

According to TMZ, “Wendy is permanently disabled as a result of Frontotemporal Dementia … problem is, the condition never gets better. Wendy was in bad shape a few years ago when she was drinking heavily, but she’s sober now and her mental state has radically improved … many say back to normal, yet she’s still under an incredibly restrictive guardianship.”

I think this is the absolute highest level of all Tubi TMZ docs, one that has cameramen on the sidewalk shooting up to a window where a manic Wendy Williams rants on the telephone while TMZ people speak to her on the speakerphone, kind of like how my wife and I talk to my mom but you know, this is a documentary that millions of people can watch on Tubi and not my nightly “how are you?” phone call. This is peak junk TV, the equivalent of when the Enquirer had Elvis’s body in the coffin on their cover. Still, under the guise — and maybe TMZ’s heart is in the correct place here — of saving Wendy, just like the title, except that yes, we can all watch her flip out inside an assisted living place and the art for it has her dressed up, full face of makeup, crying in abject despair. So…this is entertainment?

You can watch this on Tubi.

“Conventional wisdom says Diddy’s guilty, but his legal team is mounting a strong defense. TMZ breaks down the case that could get him off the hook.”

Yes, I have watched four of these Diddy docs and this one has someone claiming that the bottles of baby oil were for necromancy.

I had to look that up and learned that TikTok gossip claimed that one of Diddy’s lawyers, Anthony Ricco, quit due to an alleged necromancy charge. Except that it isn’t illegal.

As Diddy is in jail waiting for his trial on three federal charges of transportation for prostitution, sex trafficking and racketeering with conspiracy — charge that he and his team deny — TMZ keeps making these shows and for some reason, my need to watch every Tubi Original means that I will keep watching them.

They even get together a mock jury and try Diddy in this, something that doesn’t seem all that ethical as it could convince people in the real trial.

But anyways, freak offs get mentioned, your favorite TMZ people are snarky and there will be at least ten more of these. Of course, I will be watching and reporting back to you.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Why do I do this to myself?

Once called The Mouse Experiment, this even has a dumb logline: “The film follows a group of friends stuck at a fairground amusement park hunted down by a mutated rat – Steamboat Willie.”

Yes, Steamboat Willie is in the public domain, so we will get stuff like this instead of making Amityville movies. And Screamboat. And The Mouse Trap. And Mouseboat Massacre. And The Mouse Trap: Welcome to The Mickeyverse.

I swear I will not watch all of these movies, like Amityville and Ouija, and keep posting them.

I’m lying and hate myself because I’ve already watched two of these.

Directed by Brendan Petrizzo and written by Harry Boxley (Popeye’s Revenge) and Marc Gottlieb (Snow White and the Seven Samurai), this has Dr. Rupert (Chris Lines) creating killers like the well-named The Killer (Lewis Santer), who looks like a Spirit Store version of Mickey by way of Hot Topic. There’s also The Bear (Stephen Staley), wearing the same mask as the killer from Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, and the two have to compete to see who can get the most body parts.

Is Pooh in the same universe as Mickey now? How many Mickey universes will there be? For all the people watching it, how many other than me picked it because Michelle Bauer and Geretta Geretta have voice cameos? Why is this set in a video game place (Knightly’s Fun Park Towyn, North Wales’ premier holiday entertainment complex)- other than it’s trying to be Five Nights at Freddy’s too while it’s stealing so much- when it has nothing to do with the plot? And murderous jellyfish? And somewhat good gore? Why did Mickey act like Art the Clown? Why would Dr. Rupert be using women’s bodies to make a bride for each of his murderers?

The ending makes no sense, and the sound quality is as good as a second wave of black metal record. I’m being kind to the sound design as that makes it seem lood. But hey- a killer mouse who is public domain. When do we get Amityville Mickey? Am I going to have to film it?

You can watch this on Tubi.

Chris Stokes makes a Tubi movie every month, but this time, they’re stretching their wings and going from romantic thrillers to a spy epic. In it, Kasey (Samantha A. Smith) goes from being a bad girl acting out after her dad dies to being part of a home invasion and being pulled into a conspiracy, getting arrested and going on the run from government agents along with her mother Latisha (Apryl Jones).

Luckily, her mother knows Victoria (Lateria Hope), who turns out to be even more connected to this conspiracy. She has a secret device that can start and steal any car, for example, and she just may be able to get this family out of this alive. I can’t tell you how surprised I was by this one, which yes, has a scene where a man makes a big deal out of making hot chocolate, but also is about government conspiracies, secret agent killing machines and a mother and daughter trying to deal with grief.

Shout out to Stokes for switching up how he films things and getting a ton out of his budget, making this look completely different from anything I’ve seen. This also seems to set up a sequel and as always, I’m here for it. I’m also trying to manifest my dream of a Stokes Cinematic Universe crossover between his series. Come on, Footage Films and Tubi.

You can watch this on Tubi.

We live in a world that hasn’t seen a Friday the 13th movie since 2009, but films like Terrifier 3 have become big box office. People are hungry for slashers — they always have been — and if they’re not getting Jason Vorhees, they’re going to look for something new. Maybe Heart Eyes will be the answer.

Directed by Josh Ruben (Werewolves Within) and written by Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon (Disturbia, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones) and Michael Kennedy (Freaky, It’s a Wonderful Knife), this is about a serial killer who shows up in a random town every Valentine’s Day and starts to kill couples. Whoever it is, Heart Eyes is now in Seattle, starting his murders at a spa and a winery. These murders end up nearly costing ad exec Ally McCabe (Olivia Holt) her job, as her new ad is all about couples dying. Her boss Crystal Cane (Michaela Watkins) brings in Jay Simmons (Mason Gooding, Cuba’s son) to try to develop a new ad quickly; meanwhile, Heart Eyes is killing through Jet City and doesn’t realize that Ally and Jay aren’t an item.

What if Jay was in the same towns at the same time as Heart Eyes? What if a ring with his initials shows up at a crime scene? What if he gets arrested by detectives Zeke Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Jeanine Shaw (Jordana Brewster), then handcuffed in the police station when Heart Eyes pays a visit? And what if this mixed a romantic comedy with a slasher that wasn’t afraid to get gory?

Heart Eyes reminds me of post-Scream 90s slashers like Valentine and Urban Legend. I say that as a positive. The killer’s look —designed by Tony Gardner, who also made the masks for Freaky, Happy Death Day and Totally Killer—feels giallo. I wish they lit the neon eyes more because that’s such an interesting image.

No slasher today can equal the glory years of 1978-1981, but Heart Eyes makes an effort. It feels like the candy you eat on the holiday, a whole Whitman’s Sampler that may not fill you up, but you don’t dislike the experience. It certainly has the actual stalk and slash moments that many modern films miss and a couple you want to see survive. That’s way better than we’ve been getting.

Directed by Jason Winn (Deadly Secrets of a Cam Girl) and written by Dean Loftis and Mary O’Neil (Sinister Surgeon, You Shouldn’t Have Let Me In), Tarot Curse has Tara (Lauren Chanel), Preston (Kamarion Miller), Jordan (Triston Dye), Quinn (Evelyn Kim) and Chloe (Selena Turner) getting fake IDs and going to New Orleans to party. While there, they learn their futures from The Reader (Anna Talakkottur), who — as if you couldn’t guess by the title — curses them with a Final Destination-esque series of deaths.

There’s a character named The Bone Daddy (Mikhail Keize) in this, and I just want to point that out.

This has one major scene going for it: a vending machine that slices the fingers of one of the characters when they attempt to put their hand into it and pull out a stuck candy bar. This has always been one of my big worries, and seeing it in a movie, complete with practical blood and gore, made me yell out loud, which rarely happens anymore. What a shocking scene almost topped by a chandelier to the head later.

While Tarot Curse is very much a by-the-numbers teen curse movie, it is much better than most studio horror these days, and it’s free on Tubi. For its million-dollar budget, the kills look good, the New Orleans scenery is appropriately dark and mysterious, and the movie moves quickly. What more could you ask for?

You can watch this on Tubi.