A grouper is someone who changes sexual gender or orientation later in life. This film also tells us that it also means a bottom-dwelling fish. Two all-American, homophobic high school bullies are seduced by the lovely Meg and then kidnapped, drugged and awaken tied up face to face in an abandoned pool. Absurdity and insanity ensue as we learn that Meg plans on performing a psychological and somewhat sadistic experiment on them to get revenge for the way they’ve treated her brother Orin.

Groupers is packed with outlandish characters, including a one-eyed street thug and a philosophical squatter who all get caught up in this odd tale of revenge while bringing their own, ambiguous motives (and opinions) to the party as they pontificate whether homosexuality is a choice.

I’ve been excited to watch this movie for some time — it was written by Grady Hendrix, who we interviewed some time back about his book Paperbacks from Hell along with Ted Geoghegan, who wrote and directed We Are Still Here. It’s the first full-length movie from Chelsea Stardust, who was once the assistant to Jason Blum of Blumhouse.

Samantha Craft (Hayley Griffith, who is very endearing) is just trying to make it through her first day as a pizza delivery person so she can continue her singing career. On a trip to the rich Mill Basin section of town, she gets screwed over on a tip — the pizza order itself is strange, with corn as a topping. This brings her into a mansion demanding a tip from the coven that is conducting a ritual, led by Danica Ross (Rebecca Romjin, obviously having a great time acting in this).

The group needs a virgin — Ross’s daughter Judi (Ruby Mondine, Happy Death Day) has already had sex to escape the torment that will surely follow — so they take Sam. As they say, hijinks ensure, as she goes from misadventure to misadventure as she falls in and out of trouble, encountering Danica’s screwup of a husband (Jerry O’Connell, real husband of Romjin), intercoven intrigue between Danica and Gypsy (Arden Myrin, whose face you’ll recognize from numerous great turns in things like Shameless and Insatiable), evil children armed with a strap-on drill, a haxan cloak monster made from a dead husband’s heart, the demon Samaziel, sex with an actual demon and two very fuzzy bunnies.

The film also features appearances by Jordan Ladd (the daughter of actress Cheryl Ladd who appeared in the mid-90’s direct to video Alyssa Milano-starring opus Embrace of the Vampire), Whitney Moore (yes, the Whitney Moore from Birdemic: Shock and Terror), Jeff Daniel Phillips (who gets cast in every Rob Zombie movie), internet personality Hannah Stocking and Skeeta Jenkins (who was memorably Cuddly Bear in Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich).

Where a film like The House of the Devil tells a similar story, that movie feels like a 1970’s made for TV movie and as such, feels much more psychological. I’d compare Satanic Panic to a movie like Night of the Demons — a movie made for video rental that hits you with some funny dialogue and isn’t afraid to gross you out, too. It moves quickly and knows exactly what kind of movie it wants to be, as assured as Sam ends up being by the end of the film. It’s packed with great practical effects and enough gore — and a surprising amount of nudity — to please any genre fan.

There’s also plenty of great easter eggs, like the opening scene openly referencing Halloween and the chant that the coven uses when they hex people coming directly from the Charm of Making from John Boorman’s Excalibur.

Perhaps the funniest thing about this movie is that it’s being sold in Walmart, where they’ve decided to omit the word Satanic from the title, selling it as just plan Panic.

About the Author: Paul Andolina is a great fan of movies. You can check out his sites Wrestling with Film and Is the Dad Alive?

Morbid Stories is an anthology film that was released in October 2019. It features 5 segments by 5 independent directors. The segments are mostly about the undead in various forms, usually vampires or zombies, although one story centers around ghosts, and another features a ghost but is about some kind of creature.

The wrap-around segment is directed by Asif Akbar and is how the other stories come into play in the film. A young woman named Candy has recently broken up with her boyfriend Mike, while on the phone with her mother the gas in her house suddenly shuts off, not wanting to stay home alone she gathers her two dogs and sets out in her car. On her way out of town she tunes into a radio station that mentions an attack on the United States, each segment is prefaced by the radio announcer mentioning an attack.

The first segment, titled Invasive Species is directed by Mick Thomas. The Singers are a young couple who are awakened when they hear a knock on the door, Jamie collects his baseball bat, tells Helen to monitor the surveillance camera and heads downstairs to investigate the noise. A long-haired stranger is at the door, asking to come in to make a phone call because one of his friends is injured. Helen is confused because she can hear the strangers at the door but they are not appearing on the camera. Turns out the strangers are vampires and they are here to kill the Singers. It’s one of the stronger segments in the film.

The second segment of the film, 3 Months, is directed by Ashley Mei who also stars in the segment. Mallory Yoshida (Mei) is almost 18, she has been taking care of her siblings almost full time. Her friends Lola and James come to visit her and contact some spirits. Lola and James are not fans of Mallory’s siblings and James is an extremely angsty teenager. Mallory and James are not taking Lola’s attempts to contact a spirit seriously so she excuses herself to the bathroom for a good cry. Meanwhile, James is confessing his love to Mallory and asking her to run away with him. She tells him they only have 3 more months and then they can do whatever he wants. Lola is possessed and kills Mallory’s sibling’s pet rabbit. Lola attacks James and the segment ends. I found this segment interesting but felt it had little to do with the rest of the film’s theme but according to the film’s tagline “Death Is Only The Beginning,” I guess it does.

The third segment, directed by and starring Will Devokees, Writers Beware is my personal favorite of the segments. A writer named Robert Zirn (Devokees) is feeling troubled after some recent bad publicity and needs to lay low to write his new book. His assistant Paul finds him a dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere. Robert isn’t too pleased about this and continues to complain about it to Paul, and the owner of the house Don. Something is living in the attic and Robert lets it out and it chases him through the house. It’s a tale of a bad man getting his comeuppance. 

The fourth and final segment, More Than You Can Chew, is directed by Clint Kelly. It revolves around Morgan a recently turned vampire who is struggling with her transformation, food no longer satiates her hunger and makes her sick as a dog, she runs outside to find a victim but instead tries to eat a zombie, who takes a bite out of her. Something is horrible is happening to her but her boyfriend Jake comes over and she is forced to try to tough it out. Her boyfriend Jake is played by Eigh8t the Chosen One, a rapper, and a former Youtube DVD reviewer. This segment features the best effects of the entire film.

Altogether I thought this was a solid anthology film but it does have its issues. Some segments have music featured in them and it is so loud that it drains out the dialogue, the segments themes don’t really seem to connect well, especially considering the radio continues to talk about zombies and vampires. I really thought the whole film would feature zombies and vampires as it comes out of the gate pretty strong with that approach. Some of the segments aren’t that greatly realized, with the wrap around and 3 Months being the most lackluster. 

You can definitely tell this is not a film with a gigantic budget but I still had some fun with it. It can be rented through Vimeo for $2.99 and purchased for $8.99, but if you have Amazon Prime you can check it out without any additional costs.

Action superstar Dominiquie Vandenberg and acclaimed filmmaker Jesse V. Johnson, director of Triple Threat and Accident Man — which was based on the 2000AD comic — team for 2020’s most explosive action blockbuster — The Mercenary.

Well, that’s what the press release said and who am I to try to question them?

Expect lots of squibs and bullets flying through the air. If you’re looking for an action film and well, there haven’t been any in awhile, this is a decent pick.

The Mercenary is available on demand and on DVD from Uncork’d Entertainment.

DISCLAIMER: We were sent this movie by its PR team.

After the death of her sister, Patricia Woodhouse inherits her family’s estate and soon discovers that something or someone has been haunting the home for decades and harbors a disturbing family secret that she must uncover. This is a remake of the 2014 movie The Haunting Of Baylock Residence.

Patricia has been estranged from her sister for quite a few years due to a family feud, but still goes to her funeral. That’s when she meets Annabel Blair, who informs her that she’s inherited the house. However, there’s a secret inside it that may cost Patricia her life as well.

Director Anthony M. Winson also created the film that this remakes. He bases his films around Nottinghamshire, England. This movie is all about how that country felt around 1944, along with the undercurrent of the supernatural.

The Baylock Residence is available on demand and on DVD from Wild Eye Releasing. You can also watch this on Amazon Prime.

DISCLAIMER: We were sent this movie by its PR team.

Harley Wallen’s last film, Eternal Code, was recently featured on our site. Now, he’s back with Abstruse, which stars Tom Sizemore (Black Hawk Down) and Dennis Haskins (Saved by the Bell). Yes, that’s right — a man once implicated in the affairs of Heidi Fleiss and Mr. Belding, together at last in the same film. I don’t know what took so long either!

Amanda (Kaiti Wallen, who was also in Eternal Code) Mindy and Jess get themselves into a situation when they make an adult film with two dudes named Justin and Daniel. Well, long story short, Justin chokes out Mindy but goes too far.

Justin’s dad is a Senator (the aforementioned Mr. Haskins), so he gets away with it. Amanda’s dad Max (Sizemore) wants to help her get revenge, but Justin is ready to kill anyone who gets in his way.

Nobody is a hero in this one and everyone has their own agenda. I’m glad to see Sizemore keeps on working, no matter the size of the film.

DISCLAIMER: We were sent this movie by its PR company.

Russ Washington (Hunter G. Williams, who is the auteur of this, writing, directed and starring in the film, which begins with an extended shot of him nude; he also broke his neck during filming which put the movie on hold for a year) is a successful businessman on top of the world. However, addiction, secrets and horrible relationships have sent him on a downward spiral that he may never recover from.

I’m trying to think of how much money Lily Tomlin was paid to be in this movie. There has to be some reason for it, because otherwise, her appearance in a film about two producers who do drugs and basically abuse women makes little to no sense. I’m still flabbergastered that she would watch, much less act in this movie.

I love cautionary Hollywood tales, because most of us watching them will never have to decide between falling in love with a prostitute with a heart of gold and making our next movie. No, I’m more concerned if whether or not I have enough in the bank to cover my quarterly business taxes.

If coke-fuelled Eyes Wide Shut sex and Pretty Woman style romance without the comedic edge is what you’re looking for, don’t let me stop you.

DISCLAIMER: This movie was sent to us by its PR company.

A group of friends makes a bet to survive on an island. Unbeknownst to them, a mysterious old creature starts to hunt them and what was once an innocent bet is now a fight for survival. As the night goes on, none of them may make it out alive.

The PR for this promises “a pulse-racing profusion of Stranger Things and Predator.” No pressure, right?

This is the first full-length film from director Paul Anthony Rogers.

Honestly, it’s pretty basic. There’s a weird creature that ends up looking like Gollum on steroids and he kills just about everyone. I’ve had an entire holiday of arguments that I’m still getting over, so I really didn’t feel like listening to an hour plus of idiots in the woods fighting and then yelling one another’s names as they are chased and murdered. Your mileage may vary.

It certainly looks nice and the non-CGI practical monster is a definite plus.

Crypsis is available on demand and on DVD from Uncork’d Entertainment.

DISCLAIMER: We were sent this movie by its PR company.

Alexandre Aja may be known for High Tension and his remakes of The Hills Have Eyes, Maniac and Piranha, but this man against nature movie may be my favorite film he’s done.

Produced by Sam Raimi, the film has a heart at the center of its story — what it’s like to grow up and perhaps move beyond the experience of your parents. Oh yeah — it also has a category five hurricane and numerous gigantic alligators that want to snack on human flesh.

University of Florida swimmer Haley Keller (Kaya Scodelario, the Maze Runner films) gets a call from her sister Beth, telling her to get out of the state of Florida before Hurricane Wendy descends. Haley is more worried about her father (Barry Pepper, The Green Mile), who isn’t answering his phone.

She goes through a police blockade to check on him, finding his dog Sugar but not him. Heading back their abandoned family home, she finds her father knocked out and his escape cut off by several gigantic alligators.

The rest of the film is pretty much a thrill ride — can Haley and her father escape the alligators and make it out of the storm? Will the dog survive? Can they swim fast enough?

I really wish that I had seen this in a theater instead of alone on my couch. This movie demands a sold out show of people screaming all around you at every single jump scare. It’s effective on your own, but it had to have been awesome with an audience.

Inspired by today’s obsession with reality TV and social media stars, writer-director Steven Jay Bernheim’s clever mockumentary fixes on a Paris Hilton-esque heiress named London (Julia Faye West) who is struggling to regain her past fame in the wake of three sisters called The Kims — think Kardashians.

London has it all — product endorsements, talent managers, pet psychics, private jets, fashion shows, yachts, celebrity friends, the smallest chihuahua ever — and she eventually regains her fame. But are we the ones paying for it?

This movie has plenty of people in it that know all about being a celebrity. Denise Richards is top featured and you’ll remember her from being a Bond girl, as well as appearing in Starship Troopers, Wild Things, Drop Dead Gorgeous and Valentine. Then there’s Mike Tyson, who is one of the most recognizable people born in the modern era, playing himself.

Charles Fleisher — yep, the voice of Roger Rabbit — plays a talk show host and John Witherspoon — in his last role — plays Joe the Plumber.

Steven Jay Bernheim has produced plenty of projects — the Ice-T movie Gangland for one — but this is his first directorial effort. My favorite IMDB credit is that he played himself on The Dr. Phil Show in an episode all about gold-digging secrets.

Loren Lester (the voice of Nightwing in the Batman cartoons, as well as Fritz Hansel in Rock ‘n Roll High School) also is in this. I love looking up people to see what roles they’ve played and then realizing just how many things I’ve seen or heard them in.

You can visit the official site and Facebook page for more information. Reality Queen! will be available on demand and on DVD, as well as in select theaters across America starting January 10.

DISCLAIMER: This movie was sent to us by its PR company.