An awkward Christmas Eve date leads a non-dating couple into a strange theater where they’re forced to confront an assemblage of odd and scary Christmas tales — from a boring office party livened up by murder to stalkers, demons, aliens and more. All the Creatures Were Stirring offers a portmanteau take on holiday horror.
The first full-length film written and directed by David Ian and Rebekah McKendry, this tale starts in the theater, where Max and Jenna go on their first date, a production of a play with the same name as this movie. Each of the tales takes on a common theme — an office party, last minute shopping, hating the holidays — and spin them into a darker theme. Here are the stories:
The Stockings Were Hung: An office Secret Santa (shot in the warehouse of Blumhouse) turns into a game of death.
Dash Away All: A man is locked out of his car on Christmas Eve and is trying not to give his wife any ammunition to say he’s ruining Christmas. However, when he meets a van full of two girls and an ancient evil, he’ll wish that he’d stayed in the store.
All through the House: A neighbor that hates Christmas continually sees how he’s going to die by the end of the night.
Arose Such a Clatter: A reindeer gets his revenge.
In a Twinkling: Constance Wu (Crazy Rich Asians) shows up in this tale of aliens trying to understand the holidays.
The stories — other than The Stockings Were Hung and Dash Away — never really seem to go anywhere once their premise is set up. Even the wraparound gives no real resolution. There’s the setup and the sort of ending, but like so many of the modern crop of anthology films, the whole is nowhere near the sum of its parts. Filmmakers should look back to Amicus Productions, where each story often felt strong enough to be its own film.
This was a fine bit of background music while I was finishing holiday preparations, but in no way was satisfying. Consider it the appetizer before you watch a much better holiday horror film.
Vice detective Ryan Calhoun (Matthew Tompkins, Sicario) is one of the best cops on the force. But after his partner is ritualistically murdered, his need to discover the truth takes over his life, sending home to a hospital that becomes his own private hell.
Even worse, Calhoun is suspected of the murder. Going undercover in a mental hospital, he tries to keep himself sane while remembering his life — he’s married, he’s a good cop and demons can’t be real. He learns that nothing is — or isn’t — the way he believes it is. Yes, that sentence is confusing but so is the life our hero is about to plunge himself into.
The Harrowing has some star power, with Arnold Vosloo from the Mummy films and Michael Ironside. I really liked the film’s look and how it gets progressively grimier and weirder as we get closer to the inevitable conclusion. It’s very Shutter Island but that isn’t a bad thing. I mean, that movie didn’t have demons with branches and blood spraying out of their heads.
Want to watch it for yourself? It will be available on VOD and On Demand Christmas Day.
DISCLAIMER: I was sent this movie by its PR team, which has no impact on my review.
Paul Andolina from Wrestling with Film asked me if he could review this for BASTARD PUPS OF JAWS week. I figured, sure, Anacadona is basically Jaws in the jungle with J. Lo looking good in safari clothes. Why not?
I thought that Snake Outta Compton would be appropriate for Bastard Pups of Jaws week. Boy, was I wrong. I thought this would be just another typical animal attack movie but this movie was so far off the rails from anything I’ve seen before.
A rap crew, consisting of Cam, Pinball, Neon, and Beez Neez are forced to battle a giant snake terrorizing their city. Pinball’s roommate, Vurkel, discovers a snake embryo in the streets from the detritus of a snake that fell from the sky out of an airplane.
Vurkel then bombards the snake that hatches from it with a ray that imbues it with a slew of unstable molecules. This makes the snake grow rapidly and it escapes, eating its way through the city.
This movie plays with its hand revealed, it’s a silly film, full of references to other movies. It even spoofs the film Training Day. It follows two cops who are not only crooked but also incompetent. The veteran cop is even named Denz (Joston Theney, himself an accomplished writer and director) and the rookie, Ethan. They say that it is training day for the rookie cop more times then I could keep track of.
I expected this to be a standard cash grab riffon Snakes on a Plane with a giant monster spin but it turned out to be anything but. It lampoons rap culture as much as it glorifies it, and is generally an exaggeration of urban life as a whole. The characters are all as ridiculous as they are entertaining and there is never a dull moment in the film. There’s plenty of cool stuff to look at throughout the film and I found the CGI of the giant snake to be quite effective. I thought the CGI would be more akin to that of a B level TV movie but it was crisp and attractive.
I found the movie to be fun and entertaining, the music, excellent, and the story captivating. It turns out that if you get eaten by the snake and come into contact with its saliva, you begin to transform into a human-snake hybrid! This was a surprising turn in the movie, and Vurkel’s slow transformation into a hybrid, I’ve affectionately decided to call Slurkel, was a highlight of the film for me.
If you are a fan of outlandish premises, irreverent comedy, giant snakes, and some sweet hip hop vibes this is the film for you. The effects are great with plenty of slimy bright colored saliva and blood. The snake kills early in the film are funny and disturbing at the same time.
Snake Outta Compton is also full of super aware commentary on the human condition too, something I found to be funny. I had been anticipating this film since seeing a poster for it and it exceeded any expectations I could have had for it. If you can turn your mind off and just enjoy a film for what it gives you, something folks seem to have a difficult time doing in our highly critical comic book laden movie theater age, you should give Snake Outta Compton a shot.
Even if you can’t just watch a film with an open mind you should see it because I think it was a bunch of silly fun. Sso take a sseat, grab a ssoda and savor the hip hop flavor of sSnake Outta Compton, hiss a fun one!
Paul Andolina from Wrestling with Film is back with another holiday film. Let’s all get ready for candy canes by reading this one.
With Christmas only days away, I haven’t seen much snow in Pennsylvania. Granted winter doesn’t officially start until the 21st of the month but I’m used to seeing some snow on the ground this time of year.
Despite all this, my Christmas cheer isn’t entirely dampened especially not after watching Slay Belles. Slay Belles is a 2018 horror comedy about a group ofurban explorers with a channel on Youtube called Adventure Girls. The girls, Dahlia, Sadie, and Alexi have decided to get dressed up in festive costumes and go explore the abandoned theme park, Santa Land!
Dahlia is played by Susan Slaughter, who has appeared on Ghost Hunters numerous times. Alexi is played by Kristina Klebe (Killer Mermaid) and Sadie is played by Hannah Wagner, who is probably more known as the Youtube star, Miss Hannah Minx. All three of these women were also in either Devil’s Carnival or its sequel.
Slay Belles also stars Barry Bostwick (Rocky Horror Picture Show), Diane Salinger (Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure and Batman Returns), and Richard Moll (Night Court). The Adventure Girls encounter a strange creature while exploring Santa Land that turns out to be Krampus. Santa Land also happens to be the home of the real Santa (Barry Bostwick).
Krampus has been killing kids both naughty and nice and it’s up to Santa and the girls to save the world. Of course, it takes some convincing from Santa as the girls are at first hesitant to believe that the strange biker gear clad man occupying the cottage is actually Santa.
The movie boasts a fun score, some awesome cinematography, featuring a wider array of colors, and some cool costume work. The Krampus looks and feels like it was lifted right out of a book of Germanic lore. Santa’s constant use of profanity is hilarious and the Adventure Girls prove to be badasses. There is no snow in the film as it was filmed on location at Santa Land, a real place located in California. It doesn’t showcase a white Christmas but the festiveness of the season is very much present.
I really want to encourage everyone to check this movie, because I can’t convey just how much awesome fun this film is. If you’re a fan of horror with a comedic bent then this film is definitely for you. It’s an excellent little film, only 77 minutes in length. However, it packs so much entertainment in its run time you’ll want to watch it again after it ends! Get ready because “Santa Claus is coming to town, bitches!’
Is it a stretch to believe that the maker of this giant shark movie also directed 3 Ninjas, While You Were Sleeping and Cool Runnings? I guess anyone can make anything and Jon Turteltaub lives up to that. But we’re here to talk sharks. And this flick has a big one — a 75-foot long megalodon, a prehistoric shark through long extinct. The trailers and posters for this one whipped audiences into a frenzy as it seemed like non-stop giant shark action was about to swim onto summer screens. We finally saw it once it hit blu ray and are ready to share our thoughts.
Based on Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror by Steve Alten, this sat in development hell for over a decade before finally getting an approved script a few years ago. Eli Roth was originally going to direct but dropped out over artistic differences.
A few years ago, Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) was trying to save the team of a sunken nuclear submarine when an unknown creature attacks. Taylor is forced to leave two divers behind to save the rest of the crew and is blamed for their deaths by teammate Dr. Heller (Robert Taylor, Agent Jones from The Matrix and Longmire from, well, Longmire) as he belives that Taylor has gone mad from pressure-induced psychosis.
Billionaire Jack Morrie (Rainn Wilson) has financed Mana One, an underwater research facility, with Dr. Minway Zhang and his daughter Suyin. Their goal is to explore a deep section of the Mariana trench that has been covered by a thermocline frozen cloud. A submarine piloted by Toshi (Masi Oka, Hiro from Heroes), The Wall and Taylor’s ex-wife Lori try to penetrate the trench, but are attacked by an unknown creature and their vehicle is lifeless on the ocean floor.
James “Mac” Mackreides suggested that they get Taylor down there, as its very similar to his last mission. When they meet him in Thailand, all he wants to do is drink and stay lost until he learns that his ex is in danger. Meanwhile, Suyin takes her own sub to try and rescue them before a giant squid nearly crushes her craft, being saved at the last minute by a massive shark.
Toshi sacrifices himself to save the crew and when they get to the surface, all of Taylor’s stories of a mysterious shark suddenly sound a lot more plausible. Oh yeah — Suyin also has a young daughter named Meiying who comes face to face with the Megalodon, which they soon catch.
But yes, you guessed it, there’s a catch (sorry, punny today) and another even bigger shark attacks their ship, eating that dead giant shark and nearly all of the crew, minus the two I didn’t mention, Jaxx Heard (Ruby Rose) and comic relief DJ (Page Kennedy).
The elder Zhang dies of injuries and Morris claims that he’s alerted local governments and naval forces, then evacuates the crew. However, he’s really trying to kill the shark for himself to save his company from lawsuits. If you guessed that he gets killed himself, you’ve been paying attention to shark movies. Big points to him for trying to blow up the shark, as we know that usually works 100% of the time. However, this shark is so smart that it uses a whale as camoflauge. Yep. A super smart monster shark from the past.
You’d think with a premise like that this would be more exciting. And it’s fine — but maybe I’ve been spoiled by completely goofy exploitation versions of shark movies. Once the beast makes its way to a crowded beach, I was hoping for some carnage, but it’s nowhere near the scope of insanity that I was hoping for.
That said — the ending where multiple sharks attack the Megalodon is pretty awesome. But I was kind of hoping for that level of inventiveness throughout. I did kind of like the nod to Jaws with the fat child asking his mom if he could go swimming, as well as the fast version of the classic theme that played while Suyin was in the shark cage. Also, when the crew watches the presentation of the Megalodon, it looks like Matt Hooper is in the photo of the shark’s jaws. There are also kids riding a banana boat just like Jaws 4, which is one of Becca’s favorite movies ever in defiance of the rest of humanity. There’s even a dog named Pippin, much like Pippit from Spielberg’s film. And the biggest Jaws cue is that the sound of the Megalodon dying is the same as Jaws (and the truck in Duel) meeting its maker.
They definitely set up a sequel here, but this was one expensive movie. With a production budget of around $175 million and a $140 million marketing spend, it needs a lot of money worldwide to break even. That said — it’s obvious how much of this film was created to appeal to the burgeoning Chinese market for American films.
There hasn’t really been a new Christmas tradition since Elf. Well, I don’t know, your family’s traditions may include other films. In our house, we watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (and Black Christmas when the parents go to sleep). Netflix is hoping that this new Santa story will be one you come back to more than a few Christmases from now.
Kate and Teddy Pierce aren’t expecting a good Christmas. Their father died this year, they’ve been drifting apart and Teddy has even gotten into stealing cars. Yeah, for a seasonal movie, this movie gets dark super quick.
When going through old videos, Kate doesn’t just see her parents (the dad is played by Goldie Hawn’s son Oliver Hudson and the mom is Kimberly Williams-Paisley from Father of the Bride), but a glimpse of Santa. The plan to catch the spirit of Christmas in the act turns into an adventure where they have to save the holiday.
Your mileage may vary as to how much you enjoy this, but I was in the right holiday mood to like it. I really enjoyed how Elvis was such a part of Russell’s Santa. After all, Elvis and the actor have been linked throughout their careers. Kurt Russell’s first movie was the Elvis starring It Happened at the World’s Fair. And the actor really turned heads when he became an adult and played the King in the John Carpenter directed 1979 TV movie Elvis. Since then, Russell was the voice of a young Elvis in Forrest Gump and an Elvis dressing thief in 3000 Miles to Graceland. In this movie, Santa sings the Elvis version of “Santa Claus is Back in Town” while he’s in jail, accompanied by Steven Van Zandt’s Disciples of Soul.
There are also some funny inside jokes, as the first name read from the book of naughty and nice, as well as the kid who asks for a snowboard, are both named for Kurt’s grandsons Bing and Ryder.
As silly as the CGI elves were and as expected as the reveal of Mrs. Claus was, I was in a really forgiving mood and enjoyed their antics. What can I say? It’s almost Christmas.
Becca would like to add that many of her friends feel uncomfortable finding Santa so hot. She said they should just enjoy how good he looks.
Two assassins who couldn’t be more different in age or demeanor have an hour to kill before their next hit — which might pit one against the other. To help pass the time, they share horror stories with one another. Seems like a good set-up and as you know, we sure do love our anthology films.
In the first story, “Valkyrie’s Bunker,” a group of Nazis have made their way to the Hollywood hills to attempt to rebuild their forces. They get destroyed before that can happen, with only one of their number surviving to murder anyone who tries to steal his weed. This story practically flew by before building any real steam, but it had a good start.
In “Assacre,” a totally brutal pepper spells the end of a competitive eating contest.
And in “Hog Hunters,” a bowling team that for some reason acts more like a biker gang attempts to initiate a new member.
They’re all framed by the hitman story, which features way better acting than I’ve come to expect from direct to streaming anthology films. Mel Novak (Game of Death, Samurai Cop 2) shows up as Mr. Kinski, a mob boss, so in the world of genre films, that’s someone’s — yep, I would be that person — idea of a star.
Jay Mandao (Scott Dunn) may not be rich, but he’s living comfortably off of his late father’s cereal royalties. He just wants to be left alone, but has to take care of his adult nephew-in-law, Jackson (Sean McBride). Now with Halloween close, Jay has been suffering from strange dreams and learning that he can project his spirit astrally. And then, the ghost of a not dead yet friend lets Jay know that he has moments to live, as a vampiric ex-girlfriend is ready to murder him.
I really found myself liking this movie. While many have compared it to Shaun of the Dead, I found it to be much closer to John Dies at the End. That’s not a bad thing. There’s a fun repartee between the main characters and I really enjoyed their cab driver, Fer (Gina Gomez).
Written and directed by star Scott Dunn, this movie practically flies by. At times, it feels like you’ve been dropped into a story in the middle of it already happening. And then it feels like you’ve been friends with these characters for a long time.
Another bonus is that despite its budget, unlike so many direct to streaming releases, it doesn’t look cheap.
Mandao of the Dead is available exclusively on Amazon Instant Video and will be released on iTunes in February 2019. A sequel, Mandao of the Damned, is in production.
DISCLAIMER: The production team sent me a copy of this film, but it didn’t impact my review.
Paul Andolina fromWrestling with Film is back with another seasonally appropriate horror film. I really appreciate him sharing all of these with you!
From this point on it will not feel like the Christmas season without writing at least one review here at B&S About Movies every year. It’s become one of my favorite things to do in December. You may remember my review for Mother Krampus last year, I wasn’t too fond of it and still have not revisited it like I had planned to. I did check out the sequel Mother Krampus 2: Slay Ride this year though!
A sequel only in name, the film is about 4 young women, who almost having completed their community service, visit the house of a lovely old woman. Trouble is she isn’t the nice lady they first thought her to be.
You really have to stick with this movie as the first 15 minutes or so are not the most engrossing moments of the film for me. Those scenes are essential to plot development, though, and do not feel like they need to be cut out. After killing the family occupying the house, a masked intruder takes the place of the owner, Mrs. Smith. The faux Mrs. Smith is charming at first but it is always clear that she is an unsettling person. My favorite character of the film was Athena Slay, a drag queen with one of the sassiest attitudes ever. She is hilarious and really brings a little extra fun to the table.
The film is festive enough for me to get the feeling that this takes place around Christmas and though there is no snow it isn’t an issue in my opinion as not everywhere gets snow in December. This movie was filmed in Cleveland, Ohio possibly sometime in March if I had to guess, as a storefront shown in the movie has a Happy St. Patrick’s Day in the window. That’s just me nitpicking, though.
This movie had my attention in its grasp after the beginning plot set up and the characters made me care about their struggle. I feel that many slashers fail to accomplish this and just give us characters we want to see offed in violent ways. The kills are pretty good and the special effects were quite effective for me. Seeing the gradual decline of the antagonist after she welcomes these 4 ladies into her home ensured that I wanted to see what was going to happen to them.
This movie also has a connection to the world of professional wrestling as a bouncer in the film is played by former wrestler, Benny Benzino.
If you have 96 minutes to spare and want to check out a slasher film, you could do worse than Mother Krampus 2: Slay Ride. Don’t let its title mislead you as this has nothing to do with Mother Krampus which could be a good or bad thing depending on your opinion of that film. Happy holidays!
While on a hike to find a secret lagoon, a group of friends must pass through an evil looking cornfield. Little do they know that the owner of that cornfield turns any trespassers into living scarecrows that rot in his fields.
This film goes from teenagers on vacation to stoner comedy to backwoods slasher pretty quickly in its hour and twenty-five-minute running time. It’s the first film I’ve seen where an insane farmer sews peoples’ mouths shut and hangs them as living scarecrows that get their appendages bitten off by birds. So there’s that.
Directed and co-written by Stu Stone (Ronald Fisher from Donnie Darko), Scarecrows works best when it moves away from comedy and becomes pure horror. It has nothing to do with 1988’s Scarecrows other than its title. However, there are some decent practical FX and some pretty intense lighting and mood during the film’s torture scenes.
Scarecrows premieres on VOD December 11 and will be released on DVD February 1.
Disclaimer: We were sent a screener of this film, which has nothing to do with our review.
B&S About Movies 
You must be logged in to post a comment.