Man, so much to unpack here. Let’s break it down song by song:

“Animals” by Maroon 5: Somehow, we go from this video — yeah, I get it, Adam Levine wanted to make a horror movie — but somehow this ties into him wearing an AC/DC t-shirt and claiming to like the song “Night Prowler.” Who knew that this video, in which Levine stalks his wife, would tie into real-world problems rather than just be seen as art? Or was Levine also inspired by Richard Ramirez and Ted Bundy? Or am I enjoying the breathless narration about headless women while pilfered clips play, and often the music disappears, so this can still be on YouTube? Fair use or thou shalt not steal?

Somehow, we go from Maroon 5 to Dahmer. Ah, well, everyone finds religion in prison.

“God Is a Woman” by Arianna Grande: You know, you try and have a bisexual, lesbian, transgender last supper performance at the VMAs and some people get enraged. I know, I know. The voiceover asks if Grande should be shunned or in a jihad as if she had done this about Mohammed; people love Arianna Grande and her perversion more than God, so the voiceover claims. This performance was even predicted in the Bible, or so this says, then we cut to a picture of Sam Kinison, and we talk about how he died young because he mocked Jesus, and soon, perhaps, this will happen to the singer.

How long until we get to Shiva and the triple 6 hand symbol? About this long.

Is the song “Trouble” about deals with the devil? Or is licking doughnuts as evil as she gets? She also told Complex that she went to the gateway to hell and was possessed by a demon. Or haunted by it. Who can say? She claims, We were in Kansas City a few weeks ago and went to this haunted castle and were so excited. The next night, we wanted to go to Stull Cemetery, which is known as one of the seven gates to hell on Earth. The Pope won’t fly over it…”

Yes, it’s a quick trip from that to the Kabala: as in the video for “Break Free,” she wears a Kabala bracelet and kills a man with the Tree of Life symbol; this feels more like Mortal Kombat than Satanic. Man, I thought this was just lame AI dance music and didn’t even realize how dark this all went. Metal bands have so much catching up to do.

Damn these perverse women!

That leads us to Lady Gaga, Marina Abramovic and spirit cooking, as well as James Franco featuring Kenneth Anger in one of his videos, which was incorrectly referred to as one of the founders of the Church of Satan. Oh, Mr. Crowley, you have your left fingers in every pie. Or every Spirit Cooking meal.

The Lady Gaga section is wild because it misconstrues Gaga talking about the nature of evil and racism; instead, it’s said that she is describing Satan and her relationship with him. Also, she’s wearing a bra in one scene, and her entire body is blurred. Then, the video reminds us that Lady Gaga is not happy, can’t keep a man and has demon issues.

And now, Beyonce.

The announcer just loses her mind here, breathlessly telling us about the Luciferian Illuminati and how Jay-Z promotes the Eye of Horus. You know, the thing on our money. Are we supposed to get rid of paper money? I thought they wanted us to not use digital money? And hey! There’s Anton LaVey again! There’s Aleister Crowley again! And there’s taking some liberties with Baphomet!

How about Katy Perry?

She makes the joke that she sold her soul to the devil by moving away from religious music, and yes, that’s an admission.

What’s weird here is that whenever a video can’t be shown because of copyright strikes, the  Jeopardy theme plays, which is also copyrighted and being stolen.

Hey! There’s Aiwass!

Anyways, once Katy sold her soul to Satan, she made teeny boppers lesbians. We’d listen to more of the song, but, again, artists like to copyright the music they create.

This has somehow turned into a liveblog of this.

Were those sharks in her halftime show demons?

“Dark Horse” by Katy Perry: Oh no! Stevie Nicks met with Katy and…oh, never mind, there’s Anton LaVey again. In the video, it’s Egyptian magic; in the video above, it’s Western black magic. Well, LaVey said there’s no difference between white and black magic, a fact this movie uses. Wouldn’t using the Black Pope as a source be evil?

But hey — Russell Brand gets called out as a hero at the end.

Time for Bruno Mars! But first…the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the first band that Mars wanted to be with him during the Super Bowl. Also, excitedly, the announcer tells us that Crowley ate poop! But how about Bruno Mars worshipping alcohol like a god? That could be every country artist ever.

And man, Snoop Dogg! Is everyone down with the left-hand path?

Man, this comes back to Crowley every few minutes. But damn anyone who sings “Imagine” by John Lennon. And then this gets into Queen, homophobically shaming the life choices of lead singer Freddie Mercury and suggesting how “One Vision” is all about the New World Order. Yes, a song that ends with the lyrics “Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme fried chicken!”

There’s also a 60 Minutes interview where Bob Dylan talks about the deal he made with someone on the other side to be where he is. That said, Dylan at one point in his career embraced evangelical Christianity, recording several albums of songs with religious lyrics. Let’s not think too long; let’s get into Robert Johnson.

According to Far Out Magazine, Dylan answered the question of why he keeps performing like this: “”It all goes back to the destiny thing. I made a bargain with it a long time ago, and I’m holding up my end.” He was then promptly asked who he made a deal with, to which Dylan gave a wry smile, laughed and said: “With the Chief Commander of this earth and the world we can’t see.””

This documentary won’t let John Lennon forget that bigger than Jesus quote, either. I thought the Rolling Stones just caught a stray, but then I remembered…they did put out enough Satanic stuff to definitely get a whole bunch of words. You have to give it to the devil, I guess, because “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” and “Their Satanic Majesties Request” came out at the same time and man, that quality doesn’t exist anymore. And hey — there’s Jayne Mansfield. Come on, Good Fight. You didn’t have the time to search for this photo?

Ah man, even Mike Stone — the writer of Enter the Ninja — is in this, as the Memphis Mafia talks about Elvis trying to use occult powers to get Sonny West to kill the karate man who stole Priscilla. Elvis also believed in Madame Blavatsky, so he had that going for him, even supposedly trying to get Don Rickles to read from her book on stage.

According to Newsbreak, “Elvis was watching Don Rickles perform his comedy act in Las Vegas. Rickles invited Elvis onstage, and the singer was only too happy to oblige. He brought the  New Age Voice spiritual journal with him. He insisted that Rickles read aloud from the journal. This went on for an uncomfortable amount of time.”

Also: “We Are the World” is anti-God because it’s New Age and a one-world government song. Love is all we need is bullshit, because we crucified love incarnate on the cross. Hey, they said it, not me. There’s some Michael Jackson, some Led Zeppelin — I get it, that one I’ll agree with, as Page had tons of Crowley influence — and hey, there’s the cover of Houses of the Holy, with the children climbing the mountain.

“So the world is spinning faster

Are you dizzy when you stall?

Let the music be your master

Will you heed the master’s call

Oh, Satan and man.”

Is anyone ever going to pay Satanis and its producers for as many times as it’s been ripped off with no attribution in these movies?

Paige playing that violin bow solo was Crowley magick. Then this movie tries to make sense of The Song Remains the Same.

Man, I should live-stream this while I scream at the screen. Who would even want to watch that?

I mean, me. I would watch my own livecast if it wasn’t me.

That sounds Satanic.

A lot of people ask, “What do you do on your website?” Oh, I just watch really long movies that try to convince me that all music is Satanic.” Yes, there are two paths I could go by, but in the long run, I can’t change my ways, you know? I wonder, don’t all songs have multiple interpretations? And yes, just in time, backmasking!

Like all these movies, we get to The Doors, which you would expect by now.

And then there’s Prince. Prince, who was a devout Jehovah’s Witness, having converted from his childhood faith as a Seventh-day Adventist, had beliefs that significantly influenced both his personal life and music. Yes, he also sang about sex, but Prince was devout that he delayed surgeries as a result of his beliefs.

And U2? Yeah, they’re here. As much as I hate them, the film gets into them playing “Helter Skelter,” forgetting that Bono started the song live by saying they were taking it back from Charles Manson. Bono being Mephistopheles and The Fly being a Satanic character, and “Even Better than the Real Thing” being a Sgt. Pepper reference, which is a Satanic reference, and U2 acted like they were Christian.

And as much as I dislike Metallica, “The God That Failed” isn’t about disbelief. The song is about James Hetfield’s emotional turmoil resulting from his mother’s death due to her Christian Science beliefs, as a result of her refusing medical treatment.

On the way out, a mention of Bowie and how he sang, “I’m closer to the Golden Dawn. Immersed in Crowley’s uniform of imagery.” But “Quicksand” is about the worry that the only way to get all the answers in life is by dying, while the next song on Hunky Dory, “Fill Your Heart,” suggests the only way to be happy is to forget the future and just try and live your life in love.

You can watch this yourself on YouTube. This is from Good Fight, and I’m excited to see more of their movies.

After a one-night affair, George (Lincoln Bevers) finds himself with, well, forbidden power and a cryptic message.

He should be so lucky.

George used to be a pilot, but now he’s stuck in a corporate drone job and forced to work with a jerk named Miles (Eric Stayberg). As they head to another soulless convention, he meets Veronica (Nasanin Nuri), who goes back to his room faster than he could expect. She refuses his offer to wear a condom, and they have the kind of sex that you only used to read about in Penthouse Forum. He wakes up; she’s gone, and a strange note is left behind. 

He feels a strange energy now. When he sails the sea of mayonnaise with his girlfriend Cathy (Hannah Janssen), he lasts longer, has more passion and finally, perhaps for the first time, gets her off. He’s also able to become a martial arts master in a matter of days, thanks to that power and the teachings of Chang (Harry Mok). 

He wonders, “How could this happen to me?”

That leads him to try to find Veronica, which brings him into her backstory: as a child, she met something inside a crater. But it’s not all kung fu and carnal knowledge. There’s also a cabal of dudes who have buttered Veronica’s crumpet, led by Michaelson (Charles Leggett), who have formed a secret society of rich elites. George is on his way, as the power teaches him how to play the market. He has no interest whatsoever in joining this Bilderberg bangers. But ah, Veronica is part of them and is consolidating her power.

You will believe in a vast conspiracy obsessed with destroying the Status of Liberty. The one in Vegas. Of all the landmarks to target, choosing the New York-New York Hotel & Casino version is high stakes, but on a budget.

If there were an award for “Movies That Feel Like They Were Written by a Sentient 1980s Men’s Magazine,” this would be the undisputed champion. Yet director Paul Kyriazi isn’t a newcomer. He also made Death Machines, Omega Cop and Ninja Busters. And he’s obsessed with personal development and success, having written books on the subject like How to Live the James Bond Lifestyle and Clearing the Subconscious for 00 Agents. In his world, sex isn’t just sex. It’s Energy Transfer, which turns a standard erotic thriller setup into a superhero origin story.

It’s rare to find a modern film that captures the earnest, slightly off-kilter energy of a 1980s straight-to-video action flick. It doesn’t feel like it’s winking at the camera or trying to be a parody. Forbidden Power genuinely believes in George’s journey from a bored drone to a stock-market-crushing, kung-fu-fighting alpha.

Kyriazi also wrote Burt Reynolds, Miko, Dinah and The Slasher: The True Story of a Serial Killer Waiting in Burt’s Closet and man, I have to just share the Amazon sales copy: “February 1975. Burt Reynolds was awakened by a bloody man crawling on his bedroom floor. About to call an ambulance, Burt came face to face with the infamous Skid Row Slasher, bloody machete in hand. What saved Burt from disaster? What woman did he break up with that ultimately saved him, and probably her?”

We understand Cold Creek Manor because no matter how good a provider Dennis Quaid is to Sharon Stone, you can easily see that she’s up for a little bit of fantasy, imagining how Stephen Dorff would use her in bed. Therefore, when he goes crazy, it’s earned, and we’d all do pretty much the same as she did.

I can’t figure out the same thought process for Thy Neighbor.

Pastor Zach (Nathan Clarkson) has it all. A great family with wife Amber (Jessica Koloian) and son Alex (Michael Johnson), a new church, a published book, and a podcast. But he sees saving people as a project, not a calling. So when he tries to get a man we only know as “neighbor” (Dave Payton) to come to church. He’s soon inviting this dark being into the world of his young family unit.

Everyone in this is flawed: Zach was once a violent man and has now become a prideful one, in love with the opportunities and perks of being a religious leader. Amber feels lost in his shadow and kind of likes it when the neighbor gets attention from her husband. And the neighbor, well, he does the Stephen Dorff moves, but he looks like if Golem was haunting your 7-11, playing the slot machines all day in back, emerging only to chug energy drinks and grab more chew when he isn’t begging for money, depending on how his gambling day is going. He’s no threat to Pastor Zach, looks or even conversation-wise; he seems like a cartoon villain inside the real world.

There’s something here beyond most faith movies, though. The filmmakers hid a toy car and a knocking sound every time we see the neighbor. His dialogue is at once frightening and builds sympathy for him, but he’s a cipher, someone who has a tragic past, or so it’s whispered. We never learn from the past. Yet it feels like Amber treats him as a faithful Christian should, while Zach is in it for the popularity. There’s an interesting message in there: it takes that faith concept and combines it with the strange-neighbor subgenre. 

Also: Big points for ending this not only on a downer note, but one that doesn’t give easy answers or give away what happens next. 

You can watch this on Tubi.

This film begins with firefighter Mark Taylor (Chris Nelson) rescuing everyone from a crackhouse fire, except for one small boy. Ever since, his PTSD has manifested itself as horrific dreams. He refuses to take his meds, retires and struggles with only his wife, Mary Jo (Karen Boles), able to help. 

Every night, he dreams that a demon is trying to drag him to Hell. His wife prays for help and receives it when God talks to her husband, telling him that Donald Trump will be the President. Unfortunately for Mark, Barack Obama got the office instead. 

A decade into his PTSD journey, Mark meets a new doctor, Don Colbert (Don Brooks). He feels well enough to share his dreams with him and ends up speaking with his wife, Mary (Paulette Todd). From here on out, it’s Mary’s movie, as she gets her phone tree activated and works to pray Trump into the White House using a shofar, an ancient horn, to pray into. 

Trump wins, and that’s when the movie turns into “a panel of world leaders, those being notable conservatives and evangelicals, answering political questions.” Those would include Michele Bachmann, David Barton, Lance Wallnau and William G. Boykin. There are also several music videos inside the narrative.

A true story, this is based on Taylor’s book The Trump Prophecies: The Astonishing True Story of the Man Who Saw Tomorrow… and What He Says Is Coming Next. If you’ve ever wondered why Israel is such a big deal, well, the prophecy said that Trump would unite the U.S. and the country. 

Producer Rick Eldridge pitched the idea of a film adaptation of Taylor’s book to Stephan Schultze, who was the executive director of Liberty University’s Cinematic Arts group. The program had previously been involved in the making of five feature films, as it attempted to incorporate one full-length movie every year into its curriculum.”

Prophecy has always been a big thing, but now, it has a name, a Pentecostal evangelical movement called the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR). C. Peter Wagner, who coined the term, called it “the most radical change in the way of doing church since the Protestant Reformation.” On the other side, the Southern Poverty Law Center said that NAR is “the greatest threat to American democracy that most people have never heard of.” NAR follows dominion theology, which believes that in order for Jesus to return, the world must turn Christian. Trump’s moving of the Israeli embassy is another step towards fulfilling the dominion theology.

Director Stephan Schultze did special effects on Tremors and craft services on The Abyss before directing movies like this and God’s Compass. 

My favorite part of this movie is the montage of numerous Christians reacting to the news that God wants them to pray for Trump, as well as the prayer chain scene on an airplane where a man laughs throughout, and everyone makes fun of religion, but we just know Trump is going to win. This doesn’t get into what he did in office, how he lost the next election, January 6, or anything after that. But you don’t need to think too hard. You just need to give in, give up and get God. 

There is little difference between low-budget horror and this movie. They both have absurd plots, flat lighting and 20 minutes thanks to the credits.

You can watch this on Tubi.

The lost 1934 film The Great Buddha Arrival holds a special place in film history, inspiring tokusatsu and kaiju movies, while intriguing fans and history buffs alike.

In 2018, director Hiroto Yokokawa created a modern reimagining of this story with the blessing of the grandson of the original director Yoshiro Edamasa. Yokokawa also made Nezura 1964, a reimagining of a 1964 Daiei movie that was canceled, connecting the past and present of kaiju filmmaking.

Nearly a mockumentary of the Great Buddha coming to life, this is filled with kaiju stars, including Yoshiro Uchida, who played Toshio Sakurai in Gamera vs. Gyaos; Peggy Neal (Terror Beneath the Sea, The X from Outer Space); Akira Kobu (Son of Godzilla); Yukijiro Hotaru (the Heisei Gamera movies); Yoshihiko Otsuki and Junichiro Nirasawa (Godzilla: Final Wars); Bin Furuya, the original Ultraman and Akira Takarada, famous for his role of Hideto Ogata in the original Godzilla.

While we may never see the original movie, this is still an interesting effort.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Editor’s note: Cinematic Void will be playing this movie on January 18 at 7:30 PM ET at The Sie Film Center in Denver and will be co-hosted by Theresa Mercado of Scream Screen and Keith Garcia, Artistic Director – Sie FilmCenter. You can get tickets here. For more information, visit Cinematic Void.

Knife + Heart is a true anomaly when it comes to Giallo. It’s from France, a country more given to fantastique films than Giallo, although movies like The Night Caller, Without Apparent Motive, and The Night Under the Throat exist. And its victims aren’t gorgeous women but the actors of the gay porn industry, changing the psychosexual dynamics of the form.

Instead of featuring the sounds of a band like Goblin or a score by Morricone or Orlandi, Knife + Heart has music by Anthony Gonzalez of M83, director Yann Gonzalez’s brother.

A young man is killed by a masked man whose very sex conceals his murder weapon to open the film. Then, we meet Anne (Vanessa Paradis), an adult film director recently abandoned by her girlfriend and editor, Lois. The man killed in the opening was the star of several of her films; now she must find an actor to take his place. That leads her to Nans, who agrees to be in her movie despite identifying as a straight man.

The new film — Homocidal — will be her version of the murders, which continue targeting members of her cast. The police either can’t — or won’t — help. But the movie finished, and as the group celebrates its completion with a picnic, the killer strikes again, just as Anne pretty much assaults Lois in an attempt to get her back.

The true killer is a man whose father caught him making love to another man. He killed his lover and castrated his son, who was also burned in a fire before being brought back from the dead by a blind crow — the fact that this movie isn’t called Call of the Blind Crow speaks to its non-Italian origins — and seeing one of Anne’s movies brought his memories back.

This being a giallo, there’s also a bird expert with a disfigured hand that looks like he has, quite literally, chicken fingers. Plus, the entire end of the movie is explained via voiceover. The fact that so much of this movie is given to style over substance means it lives up to the film that inspired it.

While the murders are in your face, the sex is nearly hidden from view. Anne is an intriguing protagonist — drunken and bitter instead of the normal virginal giallo and slasher ingenues that save the day. She instead brings the killer closer with each scene that she directs.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Joseph Perry writes for the film websites Gruesome Magazine, The Scariest Things, Horror Fuel, The Good, the Bad and the Verdict and Diabolique Magazine; for the film magazines Phantom of the Movies’ VideoScope and Drive-In Asylum; and for the pop culture websites When It Was Cool and Uphill Both Ways. He is also one of the hosts of When It Was Cool’s exclusive Uphill Both Ways podcast and can occasionally be heard as a cohost on Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror: The Classic Era podcast.

Writer/director Michael S. Ojeda’s The Russian Bride is bound to be a divisive film, with everything hinging on how much fun each viewer decides to have with an effort that starts out with pseudo-heavy, gothic melodrama before going all out with a third act that swings for insane, exploitation cinema fences. My interest levels went back and forth during the movie’s running time, but when it was all over, the film provided enough jaw-dropping, head-scratching moments — peppered with a few unintentional laughs — for me to give it a recommendation.

Almost everything in The Russian Bride is about as subtle as a hammer to the skull — which you are guaranteed in this outing — not the least of which is Corbin Bernsen’s scenery chewing realization of Karl Frederick, a very well-to-do retired physician living in a secluded mansion who chooses single mother Nina (Oksana Orlan) to be his titular wife. Her young daughter Dasha (Kristina Pimenova) is part of the package deal, and viewers sense that has something to do with the plot early on when Frederick sees her on his computer screen for the first time, and gives a less than subdued foreshadowing reaction.

Ojeda’s screenplay is heavy on the tropes, from red herring villainous-seeming sorts, to just-short-of-moustache-twirling baddies, to Nina’s plight going from one cocaine-addicted man to another, to the possibility of supernatural forces at play, to lightning strikes at dramatic moments, especially with a character posed for effect in that particular shot. What makes The Russian Bride worth seeking out is its absolutely nutsoid third act, when Nina, so drugged up by villainous forces that she can barely move a facial muscle, makes a heroic comeback to save her daughter from certain doom. Orlan throws her all into this insane transformation, and truly makes it a blood-soaked blast. She is terrific throughout, wonderfully portraying a loving, protective mother and a woman trying to adjust to a new life in a different set of circumstances, but her furious, frantic turn in the final third of the film is absolutely top notch.

The film is interesting in that it balances a fine line between being hokey and predictable, and being engaging and fascinating. For every negative such as occasionally bad CGI, there is something high quality such as Jim Orr’s gorgeous cinematography. When the story seems to be laying on yet another predictable element, an outré quirk comes along to grab the attention of viewers once again. Another high point of the film is the solid work by the supporting cast members, who know how far to push their characters without wandering into hamminess territory.

The Russian Bride is one to watch for fun, preferably with a theater audience or with friends at home, and not one to overanalyze. For those who wish to do the latter, though, there should be plenty to mine for discussions regarding both the immigration experience in the United States and the current wave of neoexploitation — or perhaps postexploitation? — cinema. As for me, I’m in on this one for the decidedly absurd good time it ultimately provides. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Joseph Perry writes for the film websites Gruesome Magazine, The Scariest Things, Horror Fuel, The Good, the Bad and the Verdict and Diabolique Magazine; for the film magazines Phantom of the Movies’ VideoScope and Drive-In Asylum; and for the pop culture websites When It Was Cool and Uphill Both Ways. He is also one of the hosts of When It Was Cool’s exclusive Uphill Both Ways podcast and can occasionally be heard as a cohost on Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror: The Classic Era podcast.

Director Josh Gerritsen delivers a fun, well-crafted creature feature in the independent offering Island Zero, a made-in-Maine movie that is destined to surprise viewers. Though elements of Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, and 1950s monster movies are evident, the film builds a dread-filled world all its own.

On a remote island about 40 miles off the coast of Maine, a group of locals, seasonal employees, and a visiting author prepare to return to the mainland. Unfortunately, the ferry they are waiting for never arrives, part of a mysterious pattern in which local fishermen and boaters disappear, their vessels sometimes discovered with bloodstains. As the island residents and guests are further cut off from the outside world because of power outages, the mysterious situation escalates as horrendous deaths begin occurring on land, as well.

Working from a screenplay written by his mother Tess Gerritsen, helmer Josh Gerritsen has crafted a suspenseful monster movie that offers characters and relationships in which viewers can become fully invested. The situations, dialogue, and performances feel naturalistic, so that when victims are being stalked and the ugly truth behind the incidents comes to the forefront, viewers have plenty of reason to be invested in characters and whether or not they will see the occurrences through.

The sizeable cast is solid throughout, including Adam Wade McLaughlin as marine biologist Sam, whose obsessive interest in following up on his late wife’s research is causing strife between him and his girlfriend Lucy (Terri Reeves), and Laila Robbins as Maggie, a doctor working temporarily on the island, who suppresses a tragic past that may actually help with the group’s survival. The supporting players give performances that range from spot-on to downright endearing. 

Alisha Cratty’s makeup work and Eric Anderson’s special effects are commendable, and while body parts and the red stuff are on fine display in Island Zero, the film focuses more on psychological tension and an ever-building sense of dread. Mark Farney’s cinematography captures the gloomy greys of the isolated island and its surroundings marvelously, complementing the foreboding atmosphere.

One area where monster movie fans might be disappointed is the lack of screen time for Island Zero’s beasties, but I feel that Josh Gerritsen and crew did a clever, admirable job of presenting them considering the film’s budget. What makes the attack scenes work is the investment of the actors, the dynamics between their characters, and a good story. 

Island Zero is a taut suspenser that creature-feature fans should find to be a fantastic discovery.