Dragons of Camelot is not the type of movie I’d normally seek out. I have no interest in Arthurian Legends but the moment you put in a wrestler in a movie about King Arthur I am obligated to see it. In this case, that wrestler is NWA Power’s Thom Latimer.
Dragons of Camelot is a 2014 film directed by Mark Lester, the same guy that directed Class of 1984 and Class of 1999. It is about King Arthur’s evil sister, the sorceress Morgana, who seeks to control Camelot after Arthur’s death by the way of Dragons. Galahad is sent by King Arthur on his death bed to find Lancelot who is the only one worthy of wielding the legendary sword Excalibur.
Galahad comes across a band of thieves on his way to find Lancelot but they turn out to be Knights of the Round Table, one of them, Sir Bors, is played by Thom Latimer. They join up on their quest to find Lancelot and to reforge Excalibur which was destroyed by Morgana. Along the way they fight Morgana’s evil knights and not one but three dragons.
I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this movie a bit, mainly because it’s subject matter didn’t interest me. However, apart from some iffy acting from some of the characters, it was a decent sword and sorcery outing. I was really impressed by the dragons, they did a good job with their inclusion and even though they were digital creations they looked pretty cool. My favorite part of the entire movie is when they blow off a dragon’s head by shooting a flame arrow into its open mouth while it is inhaling to create its fire breath.
Thom Latimer looks like he could take any number of knights on in this film. He did a good job at being Sir Bors and I think he’s one of the few stand out parts of the film. I found it sort of odd that he threw his axe at the dragon like a goofball. The only other gripe I have with Sir Bors is that he is only in about half of the film. He gets taken out like a chump which was disappointing.
If you like sword and sorcery, you may find some enjoyment in this film but I think for most people it may be a skippable title. You can watch this on Amazon Prime if you subscribe to that service.
Taken from the comic book bt Dave Gibbons and Mark Millar, Kingsmen is all about what it takes to go from a commoner to one of the men on her majesty’s secret service. If anything, this is one of the rare comic book movies that improves upon its source material.
Matthew Vaughn (Stardust, Layer Cake, Kick-Ass) does a great job with this film, making a better Bond film than Bond films.
Ever since a tragic mission in 1997, Harry Hart (Colin Firth) has felt like he owed the family of Lee Unwin — who died to save his life — something. He gave the family a number of they ever need him and seventeen years later, Eggsy — Lee’s son — calls him. As played by Taron Egerton, he becomes the true hero that the Kingsmen — a secret organization of spies devoted to protecting the United Kingdom — has been looking for.
He must also deal with Richmond Valentine (Samuel Jackson), a rich genius using free wireless to cut down the Earth’s population. He’s backed up by Gazelle (Sofia Boutella, Atomic Blonde), a killer with prosthetic legs.
Plus, Mark Strong is great as the handler Merlin and Michael Caine can be in as many spy movies as he’d like.
I love that the idea of this movie is pretty much how Terence Young turned Sean Connery into James Bond. Millar said, “Young realized he had to turn Connery, this rough Edinburgh guy, into a gentleman, and before they started shooting the movie, he took him to his tailor, to his favorite restaurants, and basically taught him how to eat, talk, and dress like a gentleman spy.”
This movie made me so pleased because someone remembers how to make a Eurospy movie with style while not being overly referential to what came before.
About the Author: Paul Andolina is back to write about a recent theme he’s been watching: puppet films. You can check out his sites Wrestling with Film and Is the Dad Alive?
Is there anything more associated with children and innocence than puppets? Sesame Street, The Muppets, and Fraggle Rock captured the imaginations of children but puppetry also has a flip side. Puppetry with adult themes has been a slowly widening medium over the past twenty years from Crank Yankers, Wonder Showzen, Avenue Q to the most recent, the film The Happy Time Murders which seems to take some heavy cues from 2014’s The Fuzz.
The Fuzz is a crime TV show about puppets and humans that ran for 5 episodes. It was a 2011 film that was turned into a miniseries for Yahoo! Screen in 2014 (it’s also available on Amazon Prime and Vimeo). It was created by Christopher Ford who later went on to write the screenplay for Spider-Man Homecoming. Herbie a puppet cop who along with his newly assigned human partner Sanchez takes on the jelly bean trafficking Rainbow Brown.
Movie watching should never feel like a chore but lately I’ve been having a rough go at actually being able to pay any semblance of attention to anything I have chosen to view. The trailer looked cool enough and once I hit play The Fuzz grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and beckoned, “Behold the puppety goodness we have laid before thee!”
Herbie is a goody two shoes puppet who won’t even swear, his favorite interjection being, “scrambled eggs”, Sanchez is a down on his luck ex beat cop with an alcohol problem. After a drug deal goes wrong resulting in the death of an innocent puppet janitor, Herbie is thrust onto the new Puppet Crime Task Force along with Sanchez. He is super proud of this and aims to stop crime but the chief views it as nothing but a PR stunt and tells them to keep their noses clean.
Rainbow Brown is a jelly bean dealer who gets mixed up with Jake, a scummy mobster and Jake’s uncle, Sonny. Rainbow really knows how to get the jelly bean trade going and is taken in by Sonny. Rainbow gets hooked on jelly beans after a meeting with the Banana Brothers. Finding much success in the jelly bean game, he finally finds the courage to move in on Sonny’s girl, Roxy. This angers Sonny and Rainbow murders him and starts a war with the human “skinsects” and Jake.
Herbie goes undercover as Flerbie sporting a mustache that hides a wire when he and Sanchez are taken off the case due to an unauthorized stake out of Sonny’s mansion. He ingratiates himself into Rainbow’s gang and gets a little too deep when he starts abusing jelly beans. Herbie, Rainbow, and Jakeare on a collision course of epic proportions that concludes with the end of the film.
The Fuzz toes the line extremely well between comedy and crime. I didn’t think that a crime procedural about humans, puppets, and drugs would be super entertaining but this proved my worries were baseless.The puppets are amazing. I loved the humor and I was drawn into this world where puppets and humans live side by side. It has a bit of crassness but nothing that really goes overboard. It gets close though with Strokey Zooms, a camera puppet who is obsessed with voyeurism. There is a small sex scene as well between Rainbow and Roxy but it’s not done distastefully.
Some of my favorite supporting characters were Wizo, Rainbow’s yellow right hand man, and an unnamed drug addict puppet near the beginning of the film, who shows up again when he is accused of killing the puppets in the botched jelly bean deal. Sasha, a puppet with a horn on its face is also funny and only communicates with honks.
If you’re a fan of puppetry and crime dramas you should really give this one a shot, I haven’t been able to enjoy a movie for a while but The Fuzz may be the one that finally ends my funk. Don’t be a fluff-head, go to Amazon and check it out now!
Sarah Walker (Alexandra Essoe, who played Wendy Torrance in Dr. Sleep) is an aspiring actress who just can’t seem to break through. Perhaps Satan can help. That’s the central story in this 2014 film that I’ve always believed is way more true than fiction.
It’s directed by Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer, who went on to create the remade Pet Sematary.
Sarah works at Big Taters in between auditions and dealing with her unsupportive friends, like Erin (Fabianne Therese, John Dies At the End) who steals roles from her, her roommate Tracy and director Danny (Noah Segan, who has worked with Rian Johnson on many projects).
After another failed try-out for Astraeus Pictures’ new movie The Silver Scream, Sarah goes to the bathroom and begins tearing her hair out, which actually inspires the casting director. The follow-up, where she is encouraged to strip and transform herself in front of a strobe light, was inspired by a story someone told Widmyer and Kölsch aauditioning for David Lynch. She goes into a trance state and experiences extreme euphoria, but refuses to sleep with the producer at the third audition.
At a pool party celebrating Danny’s next movie — Sarah was promised the lead — our protagonist is surprised to see him kissing Erin, who is going after her part again. She returns to the producer’s house and goes down on him, which begins to change into something new. That change into something new involves throwing up maggots and having her nails and hair fall out, but beauty is never pretty.
Sarah is told she must either embrace the new her or die. She accepts it, kills all of her friends and is reborn a star.
This movie is pretty great, made in a world where modern horror feels soulless. It has a 70’s feel without devoting itself to that decade or coming off as a period film.
Long estranged from his widowed mother, Keegan Dark is blessed with the uncanny ability to remember his life in videographic detail. However, this strange ability keeps him at odds with his family and loved ones.
Returning home with his boyfriend in the hopes of making amends, he’s shocked to discover that his mother has remarried and that his new siblings aren’t very trustworthy. His investigation into their past is derailed when his mother drops into a coma, his boyfriend seemingly leaves him and the town’s sheriff targets him as the most likely culprit. With allies scarce and time running out, Keegan must fight — and use his remarkable mind — to unravel the secrets that threaten to destroy him.
Shot in Hillsboro and Portland, Oregon, USA, this film has played several festivals and was back in theaters earlier this year before being released on streaming services.
Sean Paul Lockhart, who plays Jake Bishop in the film, has had a pretty interesting life. Under the names Brent Corrigan and Fox Ryder, he acted in adult films for several years before working in mainstream movies like Chillerama and directed the movie Triple Cross.
His first boyfriend introduced a 17-year-old Lockhart into the gay adult industry by acting in a scene with him while Bryan Kocis, the owner of Cobra Video watched. His first contract called for Lockhart to appear in six sex scenes and one non-sex scene in exchange for a used Volkswagen Jetta, a set of tires and rims, transportation costs, vehicle insurance, and money for gasoline.
Kocis and Lockhart dated for a short time and there was litigation over his stage name. On January 24, 2007, Kocis was killed by two Virginia Beach male escorts, Harlow Cuadra and Joseph Kerekes. He was stabbed 28 times before his throat was cut, nearly decapitating him. Then, his home was set ablaze and dental records had to be used to identify the body. His computer survived and was used to identify the men who killed him.
The murder and trials were turned into a book called Cobra Killer: Gay Porn Murder, a play named Cruel Men: In The Lion’s Den and a movie entitled King Cobra.
Anyways — The Dark Place is a decent enough mystery with an interesting hook for its protagonist.
Matt Reeves is known for the American remake of Let Me In as well as Cloverfield. He’s had pretty great success at making Apes films, as he was behind both this film and 2017’s War for the Planet of the Apes. He also wrote the fun popcorn flick Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. Oh yeah — and he also created the TV show Felicity.
Ten years later, a group of people in San Francisco struggle to stay alive in the aftermath of the Simian Flu epidemic that’s wiping out humanity, all while Caesar tries to maintain dominance over his tribe of apes located in the Muir Woods.
The humans are led by Malcolm (Jason Clarke, the remake of Pet Sematary) and they accidentally encroach into ape territory in search of a hydroelectric dam. Caesar’s son Blue Eyes and his friend Ash encounter the humans and Carver injures the latter. Koba, a bonobo scarred by human tests, urges Caesar (again, Andy Serkis) to go to war with the humans. However, Malcolm, his girlfriend Ellie (Keri Russell) and son Alexander (Kodi Smit-McPhee, who was in The Road and played Nightcrawler in the later X-Men movies) become friends with the apes, even treating Caesar’s wife Cornelia’s illness.
Judy Greer, who played that role, has a husband who is a huge Planet of the Apes fan. They had a chimp husband-and-wife cake topper at their wedding, while Planet of the Apes and Rise of the Planet of the Apes played at the bar.
Dreyfus (Gary Oldman), another human leader, takes up arms, Koba goes into action. He sets the ape settlement on fire, nearly kills Caesar and blames the humans. When Ash refuses to betray Caesar’s teachings, Koba throws him to his death and locks up anyone loyal to their fallen leader.
War between ape and human is inevitable, even if Malcolm and his family save Caesar and nurse him back to health. Koba must fall, the first human army must be defeated and then the tribes of apes will be ready for the War for the Planet of the Apes.
Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver returned to write this film, joined by Marc Bomback (Live Free or Die Hard, Insurgent, The Wolverine).
I dig that the orangutan is named Maurice, which is a reference to Maurice Evans, who portrayed Dr. Zaius in the original films.
The ending is pretty great, too. Koba is left hanging from a ledge after being knocked down by Caesar. He tries to say that “Ape shall not kill ape,” but Koba has already broken that rule many, many times by killing Ash and other apes. Caesar declares that Koba is not an ape and kills him.
You know that “Cradle of Love” video by Billy Idol? “Janie’s Got a Gun?” by Aerosmith? “Vogue” by Madonna? All David Fincher, made before he got the chance to make Alien 3. We’ll forgive him that — and the fact that he had to work on Jermaine Stewart’s video for “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off.”
After all, you kind of have to like a guy who has said, “I think people are perverts. I’ve maintained that. That’s the foundation of my career.”
Between Zodiac, Seven, Fight Club and The Social Network, most of Fincher’s work is the kind of stuff that ends up on a poster in dorm rooms. That’s not a bad thing — he’s the dark side of popular film. He’s also behind the Netfilx show Mindhunter.
The real issue I have with him is Gone Girl.
It’s not his fault.
I’ve had to endure Gillian Flynn’s work in all manner of media. Sharp Objects ran our TV for most of 2018. And Gone Girl? This movie gets played in our house at least once a week.
I hated this movie the first time I saw it. And by now, my reaction is the kind of numb ennui that a naked Ben Affleck feels just before you marvel that this movie is brave enough to share a shot of his meat.
Mr. Affleck and his appendage appear in movie as writing teacher Nick Dunne, whose wife — the inspiration for a popular series of chidlren’s books called Amazing Amy — has gone missing on their fifth anniversary. All signs point to the fact that he was an abusive husband and had her killed.
The reason for that conclusion is that he doesn’t seem to care. Perhaps if you had lived with Amy (Rosamund Pike), you may feel the same way. Sure, it started off hooking up at a party and were soon engaged, but after they both lost their jobs and moved to Missouri, Nick got lazy and started cheating on Amy (with Emily Ratajkowski, she of the nudity in the “Blurred Lines” video).
The twist is that Amy is still alive and has framed Nick for murder. She’s planned each step so well, stealing urine from a pregnant neighbor, using he rblood to create evidence that she was hurt and then planting a diary and a multitude of purchases that look like things Nick had bought for himself. Of course, she didn’t expect some backwards yokels to steal her money or that she’d have to hook up with her old stalker, played by Neil Patrick Harris.
So who is wrong? Nick for giving up on their marriage? Or Amy for the things she’d done to so many men in the past? How about both of them? How about some sympathy for me having to watch this movie nearly two thousand times?
But hey — Tyler Perry is pretty good in it, right?
Also: David Fincher shot 500 hundred hours of footage for this movie. 500 hours. Just imagine that.
Day 24 Short Attention Span Theatre: Watch some shorts or anthology things
This 24th day of Scarecrow Video of Seattle’s Psychotronic October Scarecrow Challenge of 31 movies in 31 days is tailor made for the binge-watchable sci-fi films at DUST (make your own anthology film!). Their portal features science fiction shorts from emerging filmmakers obsessed with aliens, robots, space exploration, technology, and the human experience in space.
There are so many great films that rival the imagination and budgets of most bloated Hollywood productions to be enjoyed on DUST. But I chose to review two films that eschew dialog. Films that successfully use subtext over dialog is an art form not easily mastered. And these two films are magna cum laude.
Writer/directors Colin West, of Pink Plastic Flamingos, and Marko Slavanic, of Project Skyborn, understand the pitfalls of including more dialogue than is necessary to convey a story. They understand that films conveying a tale with images and not words make for a more lasting impact.
Think about the perpetual jaw-drop you experienced with 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Or being mesmerized by Albert Lamorisse’s The Red Balloon (1956) and Jean-Jacques Annaud’s Quest for Fire (1981) and The Bear (1988). Or the captivation experienced with Kim Ki-duk’s 3 Iron (2004) and Moebius (2013).
Such are these two films.
Pink Plastic Flamingos
In my September 2019 “Post Apoc Month” reviews for the European dystopian dramas Kamikaze ’89 (1982) and Docteur M (1990), we discussed the detriment of technological controls against humanity.
That human-technological dependence on our phones and its related apps—that we use to complete the mundane tasks of ordering food, deciding what food we need to restock the fridge, or cleaning our floors (an iRobot Roomba makes an appearance in the film)—is addressed with Colin West’s sixth film. West, however, goes deeper with his technological statement: it’s also a satire on the drudgery of the domesticated housewife and the human-emotional disconnect.
Pink Plastic Flamingos is comedic tale about a man, his family . . . and his robot. George (Vince Major) hates daily chores. He hates mowing the lawn. Even making sure his daughter, Emma (Dylan Beam), is safe and secure in the car gets on his nerves. He hates any social obligation, even to his own wife, Marilyn (Sara Gorsky).
And how dare she leave a note for him to do the dishes. Then, with the foot bump of a Roomba (that speaks the film’s only “dialog”: a foretelling, “Caution”), George has an “aha” moment to rid him of these bothersome tasks.
So with a lawn mower, a computer, and car parts from his garage out steps a Futurama-by-way-of-Tony-Stark solution to all of his problems. Now he can relax in a lawn chair with a Styro-cooler and lounge at the pool.
And all is well until the robot takes over his life. And he loses is wife and daughter to the more attentive robot.
Technology: Be careful what you wish for.
Project Skyborn
The purpose of film is to suspend your disbelief and engage your mind. Such a film is the sci-fi actioner, Project Skyborn. As with Anton Doiron’s inventive, sci-fi-on-a-budget space pleasure cruise that is Space Trucker Bruce, Project Skyborn is a case of giving a filmmaker an easily eBay-acquired flight suit, a few feet of 25mm flexible electrical conduit, some hose-band clamps, and two Thermos flasks and you get a film that rivals any Matt Damon or Brad Pitt astroromp.
In this Oblivion meets Hunger Games mind bender, Astronaut 42 (William Buchanan, U.S TV’s NCIS “Devil’s Triad”) wakes up in a snowy, wooded landscape—possibly a moon of a distant planet. He’s been airdropped into a virtual reality game zone, equipped with a technologically-advanced rifle and a photograph. And the rifle’s on-display timer is counting down. And he’s just been acquired in a mysterious opponent’s crosshairs. Then an electronic voice advises how much “breathable oxygen” his suit has left. The first shot rings out. . . .
You can visit with Colin West and Marko Slavanic at their respective websites for more information about their films.
DUST is always looking for content. The future awaits at Facebook, Watch Dust, and DUST You Tube for science fiction filmmakers with fully completed, ready to watch films.
And speaking of anthologies: DUST edited an hour long “anthology” with a collection of recent sci-fi shorts from their library: Time is a Place, Telepathy, Atoms of Uncontrollable Silence, Falling Apart, Again, and The Two of Us.
Cockpit: The Rule of Engagement
Sara Gorsky of Pink Plastic Flamingos will soon star alongside Ronnie Cox (1972’s Deliverance, In the Line of Duty: The F.B.I Murders) in Demon Star, the feature film that grew from the award-winning short, Cockpit: The Rule of Engagement. You can learn more about the films of writer/director Jesse Griffith at Griffith Pictures You Tube.
About the Author:You can read the music and film reviews of R.D Francis on Medium and learn more about his works on Facebook. He also writes for B&S Movies.
Banner Image by R.D Francis. Pink Plastic Flamingos image courtesy of Colin West. Center image courtesy Facebook DUST; manipulated by R.D Francis. Project Skyborn image is not an official poster; manipulation by R.D Francis based from still courtesy of Marko Slavanic; text courtesy of PicFont.
Somehow, over the last several weeks, I’ve encountered more than three John Herzfeld movies — Switchback, Escape Plan The Extractors, Cannonball (he acted in that Roger Corman produced film) — and now this film.
To get the cast he needed for this movie, Herzfeld started with old friend Sylvester Stallone, who he’s known since the two were roommates at University of Miami. Stallone’s participation led to other actors joining the cast at lower salaries. Herzfeld also brought on another old friend, Danny Aiello, who used the role of Father Paul to recover from the death of his son.
After the founder of Perfect 10 magazine Norman Zada backed out of his investment and sued the filmmakers for a million dollars (I’m not going to say that Zada is a copyright troll because I don’t have the millions to defend myself from libel, but the facts kind of speak for themselves if you look into his thirty lawsuits over the last few years). The film was finally funded via Indiegogo.
Reach Me is all about a self-help book that unites a world full of different characters. It’s based on Herzfeld’s memories of seeing prosperity theology-based televangelist Reverend Ike and reading Napoleon Hill’s self-help book, Think and Grow Rich.
Much like Magnolia or Crash, the story starts as unlinked characters before bringing them all together. There’s Kyra Sedwick as an ex-con, Thomas Jane as an undercover cop, Kelsey Grammer as a mob boss named Angelo AldoBrandini, Nelly as a hip hop star who claims to have written the book, Tom Berenger as the book’s actual author, Terry Crews as one of the author’s friends and even Danny Trejo, Chuck Zito, Tom Sizemore and Cary Elwes.
Stallone paints in the film and the cover of the book was actually painted by him. So there’s that. This is the kind of movie that I endured only because I’ve set the near-impossible goal of watching every single one of his films. Otherwise, I would have never had to suffer through it. If you told me that it was a religious movie, I’d almost believe you.
Here’s the synopsis of this movie from writer/director Stephen Wolfe (Midnight Abyss): “Mark and Kay are out with friends, looking for thrills on Halloween night when a playful ritual takes a turn for the horrific. After unknowingly awakening dozens of possessed baby dolls, their town seems set for destruction and chaos. But with the help of Kay’s brother, Melvin, and angry old man Darius Grumley, the teens must find a way to stop the baby dolls and ward off the evil force of nature that is after their souls.”
There’s a fine line between homage and outright thievery. This film challenges that razorthin border with a copy of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis straight out of Evil Dead and dolls that feel incredibly close to Dolls and Puppet Master.
That said — the more I stuck with this silly movie, the more I ended up enjoying it, particularly the bad guys, Yegor. By the end of the movie, I was rooting along with the heroes.
There’s plenty of gore of varying quality here and the movie doesn’t take itself all that seriously, which makes it work.
Doll Factory is now available via your favorite streaming platform.
DISCLAIMER: We were sent this movie by its PR agency, but that has no bearing on this review.
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