JUNESPLOITATION: Fantaghiro (1991)

June 5: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is Magic!

Lamberto Bava worked on a lot of TV, and instead of just horror, he had plenty of success with this series of films. Based on Italo Calvino’s short story “Fanta-Ghiro the Beautiful,” Bava also borrowed from movies like Legend, Ladyhawke, Willow, Disney cartoons and the fantasy films of his childhood.

It was lucky for all concerned that because the movie was so expensive, it ended up becoming a mini-series—it also aired as a 200-minute compilation, La meravigliosa storia di Fantaghirò and as forty episodes for its twentieth anniversary—and was a big success to the level that it had a cartoon that Bava co-wrote and even a theme restaurant.

Fantaghirò (Alessandra Martines) is one of three princesses born to the King (Mario Adorf). While Catherine (Ornella Marcucci) and Caroline (Kateřina Brožová) act like proper royalty, our heroine is rebellious, well-read and yearns for battle. She’s been training with a White Knight (Ángela Molina) somewhere in the forest and meets the enemy her father has been fighting for years, Romualdo (Kim Rossi Stuart), and he falls for her because of her eyes.

The problem is that he’s challenged her father to a duel, and he plans on sending his daughters, as the White Witch (also Molina) warned him that one of the girls can defeat Romualdo. Catherine and Caroline hate every moment, and Fantaghirò goes into battle alone. She defeats her enemy but can’t bring herself to kill him; her father allows him to keep his kingdom as long as he marries one of his daughters. You can figure out what happens next.

The second movie introduced the big bad for this series of films: Black Witch (Brigitte Nielsen). But that’s another story.

Supposedly, there’s a Disney+ remake coming. It was news to Bava, who told Super Guida TV, “I read it in the newspapers a few months ago, but nobody told me about it, and nobody asked me to cooperate. If they want to make a great Italian production, that’s fine, but if they want to re-propose the same characters, that was our lot because Calvino’s fairy tale is only four pages long.”

You can watch this on YouTube.

ARROW VIDEO BOX SET RELEASE: V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal: Danger Point: The Road to Hell (1991)

Ken and Joji (Aizawa Shō and Shishido Jō) have been hired to investigate a robbery as well as kill a cop named Sakai. Doing so will test their friendship in this film from director and writer Yasuharu Hasebe (Stray Cat Rock: Delinquent Girl BossFemale Prisoner Scorpion: #701 Grudge Song).

With a non-linear narrative and older and younger hired killers paired together years before Pulp Fiction, this tells the story of two men who will kill anyone in their way before one of them is obsessed with a photo found in the hands of one of his victims. This leads to one of those noir “don’t ask what you don’t want to know” narratives, as everyone they meet is untrustworthy at best and murderous at worst. Crime doesn’t pay, except here, it ends up that way, even if it’s not for everyone.

The Hitman: Blood Smells Like Roses is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka and a video essay by critic and Japanese cinema expert James Balmont. You can get this from MVD.

ARROW VIDEO BOX SET RELEASE: V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal: The Hitman: Blood Smells Like Roses (1991)

Takanishi (Hideki Saijo) just watched his lover Reiki get killed in a Yakuza crossfire. Instead of just letting it pass, he’s in a V-Cinema movie, which means that he’s going to kill everyone who did him wrong. And because this was directed by Teruo Ishii (The ExecutionerShogun’s Joy Of TortureHorrors of Malformed Men), that means that revenge is going to be so bloody that you won’t believe it — like a garbage truck chasing down Yakuza until they’re smashed into gore.

This was the first movie the director made in 12 years. He was seemingly ready to go wild.

There’s also catgirl thief Minako Fujimoto, love hotel queen Kimiko Yo, plenty of bad guys to shoot and an ending that’s just guns and naked women in still photos, making you wish that Teruo Ishii made this even longer.

The Hitman: Blood Smells Like Roses is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, a video essay by Japanese cinema expert Frankie Balboa and a trailer. You can get this from MVD.

ARROW VIDEO BOX SET RELEASE: V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal: Female Prisoner Scorpion: Death Threat (1991)

I’ve written at length about the Female Prisoner Scorpion series, as they’re some of my favorite movies ever—Beast Stable is one of the best things the human race has made—so I wasn’t really looking forward to seeing a direct-to-video reimagining of the first movie.

Man, I was wrong.

Nami Matsushima (Meiko Kaji) is — was? — the Scorpion, an unkillable prisoner who did more than get revenge. She is the patron saint of wronged women throughout Japanese prisons, a whispered name that is worshipped and feared.

This begins with an unnamed woman (Natsuki Okamoto) being trapped in hardening concrete before the barrel she’s in falls off a truck, freeing her, before she’s trained by the yakuza to be an assassin, sent to prison and let loose in the catacombs below the cells — the same place Scorpion was in all the way back in Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 — and murder Scorpion to gain revenge for the warden, who lost his eye to the legendary lady’s sharpened spoon.

But can you kill an idea? Or better yet, can you become one? The systems that keep women in prison, that ruin lives, they want Scorpion dead for sure because she inspires people. When the unnamed heroine finds Scorpion, she’s long gone, walled into concrete, but she is holding her spoon as if she died fighting. Except that her hand opens, releasing the spoon into our new heroine’s hand before disappearing. Now, Scorpion is reborn, but more to the point, she can never die.

Directed and written by Toshiharu Ikeda (Mermaid LegendSex Hunter), this movie is about as perfect as a down-and-dirty, low-budget VHS tape can be. How amazing is it that it’s in a perfect Arrow box set, cleaned up and still ready to destroy your brains? I couldn’t love a movie more.

Female Prisoner Scorpion: Death Threat is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, a video essay by film historian Samm Deighan and a trailer. You can get this from MVD.

ARROW VIDEO BOX SET RELEASE: V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal: Burning Dog (1991)

Directed by Yôichi Sai, who wrote it with Wui-Sin Chong, this has a gang of criminals trying to steal a few million dollars from American marines in Okinawa. Seiji Matano plays the leader of these rugged and rough crooks, a long-haired, brooding bad guy who remains in control of every situation while being as cool as possible.

There’s also a jazzy soundtrack that I enjoyed and Okinawa looks beautiful.

While this is longer than most V-Cinema and perhaps not as quickly violent as others, it’s not bad. As usual with criminal films, the gang itself may doom the situation before the USMC or cops catch them.

Burning Dog is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, a video essay by critic and Japanese cinema expert Mark Schilling and a trailer. You can get this from MVD.

ARROW VIDEO BOX SET RELEASE: V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal: Carlos (1991)

A Brazilian-Japanese criminal plays yakuza gangs against each other, but bites off much more than he can chew. Inspired by a story that director Kazuhiro Kiuchi read about a Taiwanese gangster going to Japan to escape arrest, this is the story of Carlos (Takenaka Naoto), who finds himself in the middle of a gang war between the Yamashiro and Harakawa families.

As the old man of the Yamashiro gang (Minoru Oki) tries to find his successor, he finds that everyone he wanted for the job is dead. It may have been Hayakawa (Yuzo Hayakawa), whom Katayama (Ryuji Katagiri) wants dead, so he can be first in line. And then there’s Sato (Goichi Yamada), who has brought in an American monster of a hitman (Chuck Wilson) to do his dirty work.

Blood, guns and neon are the order of the day. Ah, V-Cinema. Short, sweet and full of violence!

Carlos is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, an interview with director Kazuhiro Kiuchi and a video essay by critic and Japanese cinema expert Jonathan Clements. You can get this from MVD.

ARROW VIDEO BOX SET RELEASE: V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal: Stranger (1991)

After doing a jail bid for embezzlement, Kiriko (Yuko Natori) leads a quiet life, driving a cab overnight. The problem is that someone is stalking her in a gigantic Land Cruiser. Yes, it’s Duel, but in a Japan that is falling to pieces and in the middle of an economic collapse.

Directed and written by Shunichi Nagasaki, this is a V-Cinema movie committed to keeping your eyes on the screen. There’s never time to get bored and Kiriko, despite her checkered past, is a heroine who you can get behind. Every man in her life is horrible and when that gigantic truck keeps coming near — Nagasaki was inspired by the story of a female taxi driver who told him during a ride just how dangerous her job is — it’s thrilling.

Is the driver someone she hurt before? Or has man’s inhumanity to man kept that from even being possible? Maybe someone just like to frighten women. You’ll find out.

Stranger is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka and an interview with director Shunichi Nagasaki. You can get this from MVD.

SEVERIN 4K UHD AND BLU RAY RELEASE: Delicatessen (1991)

Somewhere after the end of the world, somewhere in France, Calpet (Jean-Claude Dreyfus), the landlord, murders and slices up his victims to sell as meat to his hungry tenants. A clown named Louison (Dominique Pinon) answers the latest help wanted ad that brings in bodies, but he’s such a good worker that no one wants to kill him. He’s also fallen in love with Calpet’s daughter, Julie (Marie-Laure Dougnac).

She loves him so much that to save him, she works with the Troglodistes, vegetarian underground soldiers who are trying to make the world safe and maybe a little less cannibalistic. Instead of Louison, they rescue Mademoiselle Plusse (Karin Viard), who, like every tenant, wants the clown to die so that they can stay well-fed.

The directors would go on to make City of Lost Children together, and Jeunet also directed Amélie and Alien Resurrection. When the Troglodistes initially appear in this, he claims it is his tribute to the original Alien and how the xenomorph is revealed.

Presented in the U.S. by Terry Gilliam, this film feels like something exists to be discovered in every frame. It’s childlike while also frightening in what it depicts. And Jess Franco vet Howard Vernon is in it!

I’m so glad to have this new Severin release. I’d never seen anything like it before, and now I want to watch each moment again and again.

The Severin 4K UHD and Blu-Ray release of Delicatessan includes a commentary by co-director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, an interview with Jeunet and co-director Marc Caro, a making-of, an interview with Terry Gilliam, a trailer, interviews with nearly everyone in the cast and crew, a short by the directors called Le Bunker De La Dernière Rafale, Jean-Pierre Jeunet archives and an exclusive book by Claire Donner of The Miskatonic Institute Of Horror Studies. You can get it from Severin.

TROMA BLU RAY RELEASE: Toxic Crusaders The Series (1991)

Sure, there were Rambo: The Force of FreedomPolice Academy and RoboCop cartoons and toys, but the fact that The Toxic Avenger got his own cartoon and toy still blows my mind. In the seven years since the movie was made, Melvin Junko went from smashing faces with gym equipment to saving Tromaville from the evil Smogulans, led by Czar Zosta and Dr. Killemoff. Now he has friends like Nozone, Major Disaster, Headbanger and Junkyard.

What’s even more surprising is that Michael J. Pollard is in this as the voice of Psycho and that the pilot was written by future sitcom master Chuck Lorre.

Yes, I had many of the Playmates toys, which had a great tagline: “They’re gross, but they still get girls!”

Troma head Lloyd Kaufman believed that he was getting to make a live-action version of the cartoon with New Line, only to learn that they were using the new property as leverage to get a better deal from Eastman and Laird for the next Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. He got some money out of it, at least.

There are 13 episodes of this show, and in none of them does someone yell, “I never did me no blind bitch before.” But you know, you have to tone things down when you make a cartoon, I guess.

My big question? Where was Sgt. Kabukiman in this series?

The Troma Blu-ray release of the entire series includes a new introduction from Kaufman, toy commercials, a documentary about the new video game, archival footage of the Toxic Avenger and bonus cartoons. You can get it from MVD.

Femme Fatale (1991)

Joseph Prince (Colin Firth) somehow scores the beyond-beautiful Cynthia (Lisa Zane), a bad girl who might seem out of the league of a park ranger/artist. On the night of their honeymoon, she disappears. He spends days, months, and years looking for her while being laughed at by his best friend Elijah (Billy Zane, and yes, he and Lisa are sisters; consider then the Ivan and Rada Rassimov of this kind of sort of Giallo) makes fun of him.

This leads him to the big city, where he tries to locate her by pictures of her tattoo—nearly getting murdered by Danny Trejo—and meets another of her past loves, Jenny Purge (Lisa Blount), a woman with whom she made BDSM art films. Oh, Joseph, you barely knew this woman and kept getting shocked that she ran drugs and had a girlfriend. And is that the Log Lady as a nun? Sure is.

There’s also a scene where Joseph goes to see ParasiteThe Head Hunter and The Evil Below in the theater, which I want from my erotic thrillers.

Directed by Andre R. Guttfreund (who won an Oscar for short In the Region of Ice and primarily worked in TV, directing episodes of Knots Landing) and written by Michael Ferris and John D. Brancato, who would later write The Net and Catwoman, this is the dumbest of the dumb movies, and for that, I loved it. It wants to be neo-noir or Giallo or something, yet it has a scene where Mr. Darcy and Machete discuss what a succubus is. Where else will you get that movie drug?

You can watch this on YouTube.