Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Directed by Glauco Del Mar and written by Antonio Velazquez, this South America import with some scenes shot in New York City sexploitation movie starts with Sofia (Carmin O’Neal) and Dr. Anderson (Roberto Maurano) burying Mr. Montel (Guillermo De Córdova) after he has a cataleptic fit. Seconds after his funeral, he bursts out of his coffin and starts exploring the world of sex because, well, who knows. But it works — it has a demented theremin soundtrack and feels like Doris Wishman in the best of ways. After he experiences so many sexual hijinks, including lesbians and drag queens, which is like going from zero virginity to turbo in moments. He also drags a blonde from an alley into her apartment and takes her while an old woman watches, saying “Oh, if only I were ten years younger.”

Also known as Unsatisfied Love, this is a movie that begins with a virgin crying in his coffin, has the same music Andy Milligan used to use, long shots of squirrels, a grave escape that feels completely taken from Night of the Living Dead yet made the same year, bad dubbing, unsynched sound, enough shots of feet that Wishman and Quentin Tarantino would be pleased and a movie that feels like “What if Carnival of Souls was about losing your virginity?”

Somehow, the cinematography is great.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Also known as Isle of the Snake People, the original title of this movie translates as Living Death. It was directed by Juan Ibanez, who also directed star Boris Karloff in The Incredible Invasion, House of Evil and The Fear Chamber.

Karloff’s box office value led to these movies being financed by Columbia Pictures, which would then distribute them. Karloff received $100,000 per film, which is about $641,000 in today’s money. He rejected the scripts for all four movies, but agreed to make them when Jack Hill — yes, the maker of Spider Baby — rewrote the stories.

Filming was to take place in Mexico City, but Karloff’s emphysema (as well as the fact that he’d already lost a lung to cancer and had pneumonia in the other) would not allow him to work in the city’s altitude. He shot his scenes — with Hill directing — at the Dored Studios in Los Angeles, with additional scenes shot in Mexico with a Karloff stand-in named Jerry Petty.

Captain Labesch has arrived at a far-flung island to stop the voodoo rites being carried out by Damballah (Karloff). He’s warned by local rich white man Carl van Molder (also Karloff) to leave well enough alone. There’s a temperance subplot too, but who cares when Kalea the snake dancer is turning women into zombies that eat policemen?

She is played by Yolanda Montes, who used the stage name Tongolele and was known as The Queen of Tahitian Dances. A vedette in the Mexican cabaret, Tongolele is a potent mix of Swedish and Spanish who was born in Spokane, Washington and continues to be a star in Mexico to this day. She even released an album at one point. I have to say, she looks like she stepped straight out of 2020, with her shaved head and fierce makeup. She’s seriously volcanic, taking over the film from the moment she appears,

Human sacrifice. Dance numbers. Near-psychedelic images. Zombies. Well, as to that latter part of this movie, Night of the Living Dead came out in the years between when this movie was made and when it was released. By that point, this seemed dated. No matter. Watching it today, I was beyond entertained by it.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Directed, shot by and edited by Jon Hall, who also plays Dr. Otto Lindsay, The Beach Girls and the Monster is the kind of strange movie that I love so much. The surf footage was shot by Dale Davis — who also is in this as Tom — and he also made the surf documentaries Walk on the Wet Side, Strictly Hot and The Golden Breed. Even better, it has sculptures, the monster’s head,and the Kingsley the Lion, which were all created by Walker Edmiston — who plays Mark — who had a kid’s show in Los Angeles and went on to be the voice of Ernie the Keebler Elf, several characters on Lidsville, Sigmund from Sigmund and the Sea Monster, the Zuni Fetish Doll in Trilogy of Terror and Magneto on the 1980s Spider-Man, as well as playing Professor Crandall on The Dukes of Hazzard.

Can it get even better than that?

Let me introduce you to the The Watusi Dancing Girls” rom Hollywood’s Whisky a Go Go club on Sunset Boulevard. And how about that soundtrack with appearances by The Hustlers and the theme song “Dance Baby Dance” by Frank Sinatra Jr. and Joan Janis.

Bunny (Gloria Neil, Sarah in The Man from U.N.C.L.E.) is found dead after being attacked by a seawood covered lizard creature. No, not Slithis. Or Zaat. Or one of the Humanoids from the Deep. This, according to Dr. Lindsay, is a fantigua fish that has grown large enough to exist out of the ocean. Did it grow lungs? What kind of scientist is he? And why does he call the kids loafers and little tramps?

Maybe he’s mad that his son Richard Lindsay (Arnold Lessing) is a beach bum, that his best friend Mark (Edmiston) has moved in and sculpts, and that his wife Vicky (Sue Casey, Evilspeak) drinks and flirts all the time, seeming like the kind of woman that John Ashley would certainly sleep with and cuck him were this Blood Island and not Santa Monica. Richard was there when Bunny died, so all he cares about now is his girlfriend Jane (Elaine DuPont) and living life for fun instead of doing research with his old man.

In case you can’t guess, there’s no such thing as the monster. Yes, the doctor is dressing up, all to make his son more serious by killing everyone that he is friends with as well as getting rid of his second wife.

This was written by Joan Gardner (who did tons of cartoon voices), Robert Silliphant (who wrote The Creeping Terror and The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?) and Don Marquis.

Also known as Monster from the Surf and Surf Terror, this movie is totally The Horror of Party Beach but I don’t care. It’s like a sitcom or Scooby-Doo episode except that all sorts of people die and it ends with a misunderstood father, who is dressed as an undersea monster, driving his car off a cliff and blowing up real good.

It’s 66 minutes of your life. Live it.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Back in Drive-In Asylum #8, I wrote about “John Carradine vs. Mil Mascaras” and this movie is the film where it happens.

Carradine had sold everything he owned to start a traveling Shakespeare actor’s company and when it folded, he was penniless, which led to the kind of roles that we love him in. In fact, the actor would get to go wild in these parts unlike any straight films he’d made. He’d make several movies in Mexico such as Diabolical Pact, Enigma de Muerte, Autopsy of a Ghost and La Señora Muerte, but this time, he’s a vampire!

A Transylvania Airlines plane has crashed in Mexico. bringing Aura to the country — all of the male vampires are dead — and into competition for leadership of the vampire women with Dracula’s widow Countess Véria. They’re also biting luchadors and using them as henchmen, which puts Mil on their trail.

Meanwhile, the women have Count Branos (Carradine). Once he was such a powerful vampire that he was the man who taught Dracula. Yet now, after a vampire hunter put a stake through his brain instead of his heart, he’s become a moronic and sad man, crying in a cage and dreaming of the days when he ruled the world of the undead.

Yet its a ruse, as Véria sacrifices her own life to make him powerful again and man, Carradine goes absolutely wild in the role as an unbound master vampire. Sure, it’s all the way at the end of the movie, but man, it’s great.

Also: a car runs Mil off the road and it’s driven by bats. By bats!

Even better, this movie starts off as all Carradine movies should, with him speaking directly to the camera. All movies should start this way.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

“There was a ring of blind men
Sent by the reverend to kill
Wealthy old pigs feasting on swill
Inside the mouth of madness
The killer creeps into view
A shadow cast in torment
Coming for you

Dead Eyes of London, they’re watching you
Dead Eyes of London, follow you home
Dead Eyes of London, they’re watching you

You’re never coming back, you’re never coming back”

Directed by Alfred Vohrer and written by Egon Eis and Wolfgang Lukschy, this is — like all krimi — based on the novel by Edgar Wallace, who is also the father of King Kong and giallo. It’s the first of a series of 14 movies filmed by Vohrer and was originally adapted in 1939 as The Dark Eyes of London AKA The Human Monster. It was remade in 1968 by Vohrer as The Gorilla Gang.

Wealthy men who have just bought insurance policies are dying and Scotland Yard is on the case. A large, bald and monstrous killer is on the loose. He’s Blind Jack, played by former pro wrestler Ady Berber. Chief inspector Larry Holt (Joachim Fuchsberger) suspects a blind church as being part of these killings, so he hires braille expert Nora Ward (Karin Baal, who was also in the very krimi What Have You Done to Solange?) to help, which puts her in danger. By the end of the movie, she’s menaced with a blowtorch and nearly drowned, but at least the top cop wants to marry her when it’s all over.

This ad is from Zombo’s Closet, an amazing site.

Foggy streets, seedy nightclubs, a young Klaus Kinski being odd and so much mood. While made in 1961, this didn’t make it to the U.S. until 1965, playing a double feature with The Ghost.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Doris Wishman week (July 21 – 27) Doris made the loopiest of movies. A self-proclaimed prude who made nudist camp movies, her filmography is filled with contradictions. When she tried to be mean spirited with something like Bad Girls Go To Hell there was always an undercurrent of silliness and fun, but when she tried to be silly and fun in things like Keyholes Are For Peeping there was an underlying seediness and grime that couldn’t be wiped off. It’s hard not to love her!  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: J.H. Rood made the documentary Don’t, which you can find on the Internet Archive. He became interested in making films in high school, and in 1991 founded Ghoul Inc. Productions. His first films, shot between 1991 and 1994, were mostly horror, and were shot on his dad’s camcorder and edited by hooking two VCRs together. In 2013, he and  best pal and film collaborator Alex Lopez started making movies seriously and have created The Abode of Mad Tales, Honky Thunder and The Bitter End. His influences include Roger Corman, Larry Buchanan, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Ted V. Mikels, S.F. Brownrigg, Frank Henenlotter, Ed Wood and Dario Argento.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Also known as Santo Attacks the Witches, this film finds the Mexican superhero wrestler El Santo trying to save a woman named Ofelia, who keeps having visions of Satan and his witch followers using her as a human sacrifice. Santo saves her by literally making the shadow of the cross with his body, stopping not only the witches but sending Satan away and waking up Ofelia. She’s had this dream ever since she’s been forced to live in the home of her dead parents in order to get their fortune in the will. Luckily, her boyfriend Arturo knows that Santo exists and sets out to contact him.

It turns out that the family secretary died fifteen years ago and has been a witch named Mayra* since then. She commands an army of witches who go out of their way to “infernally seduce” our hero who sends them on their way back to Hell. Santo uses all manner of weaponry to make that happen, from flaming torches to giant crosses.

Satan wants Ofelia and Santo out of the way, but our hero is just too much for those who trod the left hand path. By the end, the man in the silver mask has set dozens of occult dabblers ablaze, leaving the young lovers in an embrace as he jumps in his sportscar and drives away, presumably to wrestle a match or perhaps battle female werewolves.

There are better Santo movies, but honestly, a Santo movie is like a taco. They’re all good. Some are better than others. But even a bad taco is better than anything else.

*She’s played by Lorena Velázquez, who was also Thorina the Queen of the Vampires in Santo contra Las Mujeres Vampiros and Gloria Venus in the Wrestling Women series.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Roberto Mauri isn’t talked about as often as he should be. There’s his oddball King of Kong Island, his Westerns like He Was Called Holy Ghost and his masterful Madeleine: Anatomy of a Nightmare. Now, after this, I need to look up more of his movies.

Released in America on TV as Slaughter of the Vampires and then as a double feature with The Blood Beast Terror — renamed as The Vampire Beast Craves Blood — as Curse of the Blood Ghouls, this has the kind of tagline that definitely made me want to watch it: “Satan’s Horror Henchmen enslave beautiful women through weird ways of love transforming them into Blood Ghoul Vampires to satisfy an insatiable LUST.”

This stars Walter Brandi, who was also in The Vampire and the Ballerina and The Playgirls and the Vampire. He plays Wolfgang, who has just become married to Louise (Graziella Granata), and they are unaware that a vampire (Dieter Eppler) has entered the party they’re having. He soon seduces Louise and bites her, which means that Wolfgang must look for a cure, finally meeting Dr. Nietzche (Luigi Batzella).

Where Hammer has rich color, this is shot in black and white, but it’s a whole different type of beautiful filmmaking. The real castle adds quite the scenery and if this movie can’t have crimson blood, it can have bosoms barely held back by their costumes and that is always enough.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

Whether you call this movie Blood Seekers, The Horror from Beyond or Blood Thirst, the biggest question is, “How was a black and white movie made in 1971?”

That’s because it was shot on location in the Philippines in 1965 and went unseen until it played double features with Bloodsuckers or as that movie was called in England, Incense for the Damned.

New York City detective and sex crimes specialist — years before Benson and Stabler — Adam Rourke (Robert Winston) has come to Manila to help Inspector Miguel Ramos (Vic Diaz) to solve a series of crimes. All of them have incisions on the inside of their arms, which means that maybe a blood cult is behind it.

Adam goes undercover as a writer seeking the story of the latest victim, Maria Cortez, who was a hostess at Mr. Calderone’s (Vic Silayan) Barrio Club, which is filled with beautiful women like Theresa (Judy Dennis), and Serena (Yvonne Nielson). When he comes back to his room, he’s attacked by an intruder and later meets his police contact, the one-legged Herrera (Eddie Infante).

Miguel’s sister Sylvia (Katherine Henryk) flips out on Adam, accusing him of not trying to solve the case. While this is happening, Theresa is attacked by a monster as Serena falls while dancing, suddenly appearing older. Seeing as how she and Calderone ran from Peru after the deaths of several young women, you can pretty simply determine that they are using the blood of women to keep her looking her best.

Adam is the worst detective ever and pretty much seemingly here in the Philippines to get laid. Don’t ask me how Sylvia goes from mad at him to in love or why Serena invites him home, then tells her at that Calderone killed his wife, made it look like suicide and forces her to dance at the club. She then drugs him and takes him under the club.

Serena ties Adam to a tree and tells him that was was chosen to become a golden goddesses. She must keep killing women to remain ravishing, mixing their blood with the powdered roots of ancient trees and the electrical energy of the sun harnessed in a small container. She takes too long explaining this and starts to age, which ends up with all of the men running after her. There, they meet the monster that does her bidding and defeat him with, well, an artificial leg.

Directed by Newt Arnold and written by N.I.P. Dennis, Arnold wouldn’t direct again for another 17 years — he mostly did second unit — and the movie that brought him back was Bloodsport.

This is at once a cheap monster movie and a film noir but it somehow outdoes expectations. It’s 74 minutes, with dancing women and a bubble faced monster that was recycled from the Outer Limits episode “A Feasibility Study.” Can a woman take the Aztec secret for eternal life and keep it going for centuries? The answer is yes.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Golden Oldies Week (July 27 – August 3) Something Weird Video have released such a wide range of movies over the last 30 years that trying to categorize them can be tricky. They started out as a gray market mail order distributor (aka a bootlegger) not unlike the Cape Copy Center or Sinister Cinema and eventually moved into the niche se ploit titles that would set them apart. The movies on this list are the kind of cult genre titles that were the bread and butter of many of the bootleg companies of the 90s and most were not exclusive to SWV. If you look in the catalogs or on the website these would be under categories like “Nightmare Theatre’s Late Night Chill-O-Rama Horror Show,” “Jaws of the Jungle,” “Sci-fi Late Night Creature Feature Show,” or “Spies, Thighs & Private Eyes.” Many of these are currently available as downloads from the SWV site (until the end of 2024)!

The problem with being Count Dracula is that your family line will eventually have to deal with in-breeding, which means that your lone male heir is a one-eyed, furry-faced boy Oh yeah — and your daughters may appear to be highly cultured musicians by day, but by night, they seduce any man — or woman — in their path, even priests. Actually, if Leon Klimovsky’s La Saga de los Draculas taught me anything, it’s that I don’t want to be Count Dracula.

If you’ve encountered any Spanish vampire films, you know that for every moment of sheer surrealist glee or breast baring blood blasting scene, you have to deal with long stretches where not much happens. Then again, we kind of specialize in movies where not much happens until the insane end of the film around here.

Berta is the long-lost relative of the Dracula clan who has returned home to the family castle, where all hopes of a male heir are pinned upon her. By the end of the film, she’s full-on bonkers, dispatching her cheating husband who has already consorted with all of her nubile relatives, then wipes them all out while they sleep in their coffins with an axe. Of course, that’s never worked on vampires before, but this film also features blood drinkers walking around in broad daylight.

By the end, she’s delivered her own baby and lied to the Count, who doesn’t struggle when she attacks him. That said, her blood gets all over the baby, who eagerly laps it up, ensuring that the Dracula bloodline will go on.

The print that played at the Drive-In Super Monster Rama was afflicted with a nasty case of vinegar syndrome, meaning that it would run for ten minutes and then fall apart, with credits that weren’t even worth running. That didn’t matter at all — by 2:30 AM I had ingested several strong ciders, some moonshine, some blazing hot slices of Buffalo chicken pizza and perhaps some other things that we can’t legally discuss. As the windows of our car fogged up and my wife slept by my side, I was pulled into the family dalliances of the Draculas.

It has everything you want from a European 1970’s vampire film: Helga Line leading an attractive cast of female blood suckers, some fine gore and even some cinematography that approaches art, mixed with — you guessed it — long stretches where people just talk and listen to some Bach. It’s certainly unlike any vampire film I’ve seen before. That — and the environment in which I watched it for the first time — added to my enjoyment.