I watched this on basic cable at my parent’s house with my brother once and I was so shocked that the Coreys would be in an erotic thriller. Since then, I have watched so many giallo movies and am even more shocked that two of America’s teen idols — fallen on rough times, mind you — are basically in a movie that seems with a little more sleaze and perhaps a prog rock soundtrack could be giallo.

Made for HBO and eventually released on VHS, this film was directed by Brenton Spencer (who ran camera on First Blood Part II, Friday the 13th Part VII, episodes of SCTV and Blue Monkey) and written by Robert C. Cooper (who produced, wrote and directed many episodes of the Stargate TV universe), Blown Away centers around Megan Bower (Nicole Eggert), whose life is tragedy-ridden. Her mother died in a car accident and she’s nearly killed by a wild horse before being saved by Rich Gardner (Corey Haim). That night, she invites him to her home for a party and into her bed, but as her father Cy (Jean LeClerc) is his boss, he runs as soon as the rich old man gets home.

His girlfriend Darla (Kathleen Robertson) finds out and dumps him, which allows him to date Megan until her father disapproves. Rich goes to his brother Wes (Corey Feldman) for advice, who tells him to win her back. This includes fighting a man who she pays off and starts making out with and getting in another fight at a bar with Darla, all before the next day, when Rich catches Wes in bed with Darla. Meanwhile, Megan asks Rich to kill her father as revenge for killing her mother.

The next day, Darla dies in a horse accident — these horses in this town! — and Cy supposedly beats Megan into oblivion. This causes Rich to go all in on the plan, which is to put a bomb on Cy’s bike. He watches as the old man is blown off his bike and off a cliff, but as he falls, he tells him that he didn’t kill his wife. Rich is now the prime suspect for Detective Anderson (Gary Farmer) and he refuses to rat out his lover. As for Wes, well, he’s angry that his brother killed Cy and not their abusive father.

You know where this is going. Megan and Wes have always been together, but she’s only for herself, so she kills Wes and almost kills Rich before the cops show up and do what cops do and that’s shoot to kill.

This is the movie for girls who grew up on the Coreys and want to see them bone. They rented this in the days before online porn and Netflix and chill, threw on the rental while their boyfriends said it was dumb and then realized that they could get away with seeing Nicole Eggert nude and everyone was as happy as fumbling teenage sex can make you pleased.

It’s like a Lifetime movie except you get to see the bare asses of both Coreys. You may watch this and wonder why guys would kill for Nicole Eggert and as someone who has written many essays and done the homework and cleaned the houses and been there in bad times for women who had no interest in me yet were attractive in my past, I will tell you that none of those girls were Nicole Eggert in a quasi-giallo so yes, I would have blown her dad up real good no questions asked, no quarter given. This is why I was a dopey fat teenage in Western Pennsylvania and not a 1980s star in a Canadian direct to cable erotic thriller.

Also: If you want to see Corey Feldman do his dancing moves and then get shot with squibs going wild, this is the movie for you.

You can watch this on Tubi.