Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which is working to save the lives of cats and dogs all across America, giving pets second chances and happy homes.

Today’s theme: Viewers Choice

Has my love for bootleg mummy movies gone too far?

Rameses Karis (Sal Longo) is definitely one of those guys who would be in a camera club in the 1950s, paying gorgeous women to take photos while he’s surrounded by other socially awkward men. Yet it’s 1993, so he is able to invite all manner of models to his house where he takes perverted snaps of them and then uses their bodies and blood to fuel the mummy (Dave Castiglione) that is sleeping the sleep of death in his basement. Or, in his words, “I need virgin’s blood to revive the ancient warriors and put Egypt back on the map.” That’s why he’s paying girls of loose morals to come over and strip down for him and his camera.

There’s no nudity, which makes this feel even pervier — the True Detective magazine effect that I have mentioned before — and it’s the same thing over and over (and over), as the cameraman takes photos, spies on the women undressed, sends in the mummy, they faint and then they kill the woman and drain her blood. Repetition is a major part of comedy but it is even more a major element of a fetish, even one where someone wants to see women faint and get their blood drank by a bandage-wrapped undead Egyptian.

This was released by I.D.S. Productions/WAVE Productions, and yes that last company should let you know that this is totally non-porn porn. I both want to meet and don’t wish to ever know the person who jerks off to this and there’s no way I’m shaking their hand or even fist bumping them to say hello.

The women include Marlene (Michelle Caporaletti, Hung Jury), Marilyn (Cristie Clark, Curse of the Swamp Creature 2), Susan (Terri Lewandowski, Wayne’s mother in Santa Claws) and Dawn (Dawn Lewis).

Rameses made the mistake of killing Kris (Amanda Madison, Red Lips), so her twin sister Jean (also played by Amanda Madison) hunts him down. She’s nearly killed by a mummy before a policewoman (Clancy McCauley, The Kind of Meat That You Can’t Buy at the Store) and Jay (Aven Warren, who did makeup for many movies like this) shoot the shutterbug sadist and pours Egyptian water on the mummy. Roll the rasterized credits.

I’m not going to say that this was good but it’s definitely a movie that I can watch and get a vibe out of. It’s just drone, the same thing over and over, a mummy looking like he got all his makeup at Spencer’s at best and lots of bad photo sessions and alright blood drinking. It’s calming, as I’m anxious now trying to get a job and I’m not telling anyone in my interviews that to find my zen I sit and watch films where dime store wrapped cadavers munch down on vacant eyed women and yes, some dudes jerk off to it, but I use it to get high.

I mean, I want a job.

You can watch this on YouTube.