HorrorVision (2001)

Also known as FEAR.comHorrorVision is The Matrix from Full Moon, which means you get Brinke Stevens and Len Cordova as people named Toni and Dez whose job is getting more porn on the internet, which in 2001 wasn’t what it is in 2023. But after Toni and his girlfriend Dazzy (Maggie Rose Fleck) both go missing thanks to a creature born of the inherent negativity of the web, well…

Yes, the couple at the center of this movie is comprised of two people named Dez and Dazzy.

Anyways, Dez gets help from the wise Bradbury (James Black), who has to help Dez learn how to fight and how to get over his loss of creativity, as he gave up screenwriting for creating on-demand pornography.

Don’t be fooled. This is not a movie about a cool looking monster, although it has that. It’s really about endless drives to God Lives Underwater-sounding generic post-NIN music, a long trip to the goth store and lots of desert. So much desert that I’m shocked that Kyuss doesn’t show up to play a song.

This ends with no resolution and it feels like there’s about half the movie left but no. That’s all you get.

Charles Band intended to direct this, then J.R. Bookwalter and finally Danny Draven, who made the remake of Death Bed in 2002 and also was the guy who directed Cryptz. 2000s Full Moon is…rough.

There is a pretty rad cyborg demon who is downloading people onto CDs and you know, I would watch that dude for the entire length of this movie instead of what I saw.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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