Splatter Farm (1987)

Man, those Polonia boys are always getting in trouble. This time, John, Mark and their friend Todd Michael Smith start with the strangeness of Hallucinations and then decide there’s no way to go but all the way as they direct, write, star and survive this assault.

So yeah, the simple breakdown would be something like Alan and Joseph (Mark and John Polonia) plan on spending the summer with their Aunt Lacey, but soon run into Jeremy (Smith), one of the workers on her farm who just might be killing people.

Except that, well, Aunt Lacey is ready to take the virginity of either of her nephews, Jeremy isn’t just killing but keeping body parts and oh yeah, that scene where John craps out a full knife and screams in bloody underwear from Hallucinations comes back to destroy minds.

What can you say about a movie that begins with a man axe hacking a body to pieces, except for a hand that he uses it, well, give himself the ultimate stranger? Or when it comes out that the body of their uncle is in the house and their aunt still has sex with him? Or a fisting scene that ends with a killer forcing his victim to eat feces, all while Casio synth plaintively blasts?

This is amongst the most offensive and in your face SOV films I’ve ever seen — I haven’t even mentioned the golden shower or oral sex with a severed head scene, but you know, not everyone is ready nor should they need to be — and it’s amazing that the Polonias were teens making this and that Mark is still making movies today. This feels like the kind of movie that you need to watch with a room of people and see how many make it to the end.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.