There’s a moment in this movie where a date happens at the drive-in to watch Grave of the Vampire and that’s how you know this is a movie, because the girl in that scene is so impossibly gorgeous the fact that she’s down to go see Michael Pataki and eat in the car proves that this is either fantasy or she’s a dream demon of some sort.

Anyways — this is a brand new movie made to look old and yet I can’t hate it. Even when someone makes a smoothie out of a cat or it gets impossibly talky or too mean spirited, I still admire the DIY nature of it all, it still has Dave “The Rock” Nelson playing the role of Amber Lynn in Things and claymation credits and a segment about creepy crawling and that wins me over.

Made for about $5,000 by director and writer Bruce Longo, this also has a scene where the aforementioned girl shows off her tumor and dead mouse collection amongst her The Tomb of Ligeia poster. Women like this exist — I married one and you can’t have her — but not all that often.

Also: Bonus points for Pacey wearing a River’s Edge shirt.

This has the feel of real SOV, the kind made in backyards with no real budget, movies where weird kids got to be Herschell Gordon Lewis for a day and get their hands wet with animal guts and then upset all of their relatives who asked to watch it.

You can watch this on Tubi.