My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain (1988)

Directed by Giovanni Arduino and Andrea Lioy, this Italian SOV* movie has a great title that there’s no way that it can live up to.

Bernie has been burnt up from being hit by a drunk driver so he remains high as much as possible and hides his injuries under a white Klan hood because the car was black. His receptionist sister Jenny, who everyone thinks is ugly but in no way looks that way, abuses him by repeatedly kicking him in the ballbag before injecting him with her urine, which gives her mental power over him. I think you have to pay for that kind of treatment.

There’s also a garage band called The Sick Rose that plays throughout the movie as Bernie kills everyone who has been tormenting his sister. I’m still trying to figure out the punk rock cop whose dad was a banana peel falling for cowboy.

It does have someone getting their face jammed into a meat slicer and several people cutting off their own dicks and then eating them. In case you wondered why I’m not the kind of reviewer who gets to be on Criterion blu rays and a talking head on Shudder shows, it’s because there’s no call for someone to discuss the best self-castration scenes in SOV movies.

I mean, regular Italian exploitation horror has scenes of eyeballs being destroyed, drill presses through people’s heads and people literally puking their guts out. Actually all of those things happen in City of the Living Dead. Just imagine how much more disgusting Italian filmmakers who aren’t really filmmakers are. That said, just imagine how many long stretches there are of this film there are where absolutely nothing happens.

*I get this was shot on Super 8 but you know what I mean when it comes to the quality. I know that I’ll get at least one letter if I don’t have this disclaimer.


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