CANNON MONTH 2: Guess What We Learned in School Today? (1970)

Made before Joe but distributed by Cannon thanks to that movie’s success, director John G. Avildsen’s film — he wrote the story as well, which was screenwritten by Eugene Price (Smash-Up on Interstate 5) — has a small town believing that sex education is part of a Communist plot. So, you know, 2022 fifty-two years early.

There are three main characters here:

Roger (Dick Carballo, the second unit director of Avildsen’s Cry Uncle) is a cop who may be gay, definitely entraps women and gives them tickets and then finds love with an African-American transsexual.

Lily Whitehorn (Yvonne McCall) runs a clothing-optional sex institute that drives the town into a  maniacal mob.

Lance Battle (Zachary Hains) is a former Marine against sex education whose wife Rita (Jane McLeod) is obsessed with her son Robbie (Devin Goldenberg, who would go on to write The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood) to the point that she pays for babysitter Lydia (Diane Moore, Vampire Trailer Park) to read pornography to him and give him hand pleasure, followed by her sending neighbor Eve Manley (Rosella Olsen, I Dismember Mama) to take her son’s virginity while across the street, her husband takes her from behind — all while she moans her son’s name.

Obviously, the satire is quite sledgehammer.

Also known as Guess What!?!Sex-Sex-Sex and I Ain’t No Buffalo, this movie is charitably a mess, but the end of the 60s, the start of Cannon and the fact that this played Cannes all make it worth a historic watch.

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