Bite Me (2019)

Writer/director duo Naomi McDougall Jones and Meredith Edwards made 2014’s Imagine I’m Beautiful and this is the follow-up, with Jones starring as Sarah, a real-life vampire who finds herself getting audited.

I never saw that in any of the Hammer movies.

She’s soon helped by IRS agent James (Christian Coulson, who played Tom Riddle in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and gets in a cute line about muggles in this), who is incredibly understanding of the secret world of bloodsuckers, who in this movie ave very ordinary origins, being born with a condition that requires regular blood consumption.

Sara once was married to a vampire king and the man who inked her face at age sixteen — and who claims to be the social media voice of vampires — and now lives in a house of female vamps that she hopes to turn into a church, the House of Twilight, with roommate Chrissy going on reality TV to explain how the vampires aren’t fiction. They also have another roommate named Lily, who as a Muslim vampire really breaks stereotypes.

Bite Me isn’t a horror movie, unless you’re afraid of romcoms. It’s a quick and breezy film, with much of its humor perhaps better done by What We Do in the Shadows, but the leads are so likable that this is a rewarding film. It’s not going to replace any of the vampire films that you love most — Near Dark remains the best vampire movie ever — but it’ll pass the time and may even make you laugh a few times.

Bite Me is available as a digital download from Adventure Kid and Blue Firefly Films.

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