Sexcula (1974)

You kind of know what you’re getting into.

But how many Canadian vampires do you know? I mean, outside of the post-modern ones sex organs in their armpits or living in strange apartment complexes?

Then again, thanks to Rabid and Marilyn Chambers, the erotic and the vampiric and the Canadian have gone hand in gland before, correct?

A woman and her boyfriend find an old diary at the mansion home of her family and read about how Dr. Fallatingstein created Frank, the man from a lab to satisfy all of her womanly needs but ended up with an impotent monster. So she calls up her cousin Countess Sexcula to try and Emanuelle that sewn together lab man and transform him into the lover she needs.

Nothing works. Romance, hypnotism, strippers, nothing. So Sexcula has to harvest some sex cells — look, this movie isn’t based on science and don’t expect it to be — and then finally he gets his mojo because the movie is about to end, just as Secula is chased by Orgie the lab assistance and the ape that they keep in the lab.

Then the camera pulls back like the end of The Holy Mountain.

That whole chapel sex scene at the end feels like an insert from another movie and is some of the lone sex in the film, if that’s what you’re looking for. I mean, you’re not going to find anything scary. Strangely enough, the 1985 movie Overnight is about a Czech director named Vladmir Jezda making a porn that has a sex robot unable to get it up for Countess Sexcula.

Sexcua was lost for awhile, it was found and perhaps it should have stayed buried. But how many movies combine porno chic with gothic Universal horror? Not enough.

One thought on “Sexcula (1974)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.