SLASHER MONTH: The Windmill Massacre (2016)

Look, if there’s going to be a Dutch slasher, it’s going to have a windmill in it. Those are the rules*.

Also, the windmill has to be haunted and Amicus-style lure people to it, upon which it will send out a scythe-carrying demon that makes people face their fears and then die. There’s also a bus fill of these people whose sins need to be punished and they walk right into a cabin filled with symbols of their past misdeeds. And there’s no escaping the demonic miller.

There’s a cool trick of showing the past of what each victim before they’re killed with some decent practical effects. One by one, they all pay, and then one assumes the next bus comes in. I also learned that bone meal can close up a cut and that director Nick Jongerius grew up next to a frightening windmill, which explains so much.

*I’m lying. Amsterdamned doesn’t have any windmills in it.


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