SLASHER MONTH: Death Nurse (1987)

The health care crisis and the rising silver wave of seniors in the need of extended ambulatory care are major worries that our society will be dealing with for decades. What does not worry or deal in this would be Nick Millard’s 1987 Shot On Video scummiest Death Nurse, which gives us the Shady Palms Clinic, which is run by the brother and sister team of Doctor Gordon Mortley and Nurse Edith.

Their John Waters-style plan is to take in physically and mentally ill patients that no one wants, do surgical experiments and then keep billing for their care. The only patient that has survived their madness is Louise Kagel, who is always drunk and regularly services the ungood doctor sexually.

There are so many problems in the way they do business. Why would they believe that a dog’s heart would work inside a man’s? Why would they have a cat running around that would steal that heart? And then, they throw the body to the rats, which means more and more rats arrive, as if this is one of those we replaced this predator with this predator and now we need a new predator situations and when the law sends an EPA man down to check, they stab him because no one keeps track of government agents, right?

Everyone has to pay, whether they eat rats, get injected with poison or just get stabbed. The bodies pile up, the cops find the bodies and we end with Edith just sitting on the couch, knowing the end is coming soon.

I kind of love that this movie has 35 minutes from Criminally Insane in it, so that when I watch Death Nurse 2, I know that I will think I’m, well, insane and that I’m rewatching the same movie. Because I will be, if you think about it.

This is a movie made for…someone. I don’t know who. But I’m very afraid of them.

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