2021 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 28: The Super Ninja (1984)

28. THESE FISTS BREAK BRICKS: In celebration of the excellent new book, watch a martial arts movie.

John has two jobs: he’s a maverick NYPD cop. And, well, he’s also a ninja. A super ninja.

Alexander Rei Lo is the guy for this role because a look across his IMDB resume tells us that he sure was in a lot of ninja movies. Don’t believe me? How about this list: Ninja KidsNinja vs. ShaolinMafia vs. NinjaUSA NinjaNinja vs. Shaolin GuardNinja Death (three films), Wu Tang vs. Ninja, the nine-hour long Ninja: The Final DuelNinja CondorsNinja: The Battalion and two Ninja in the Deadly Duel films.

Anyways, it’s the 80s, drugs are everywhere and John the ninja cop gets framed. Using his shadow skills, he escapes and uncover a plot to steal his girlfriend’s father’s life work, so he travels to China to face the 5 Element Ninjas.

Honestly at this point, I’d get you $20 for the blu ray.

But then there’s an impossible long sex scene* set to the smoothest sax jazz and I want the UHD, I want to Kickstart a web series, I want to make two sequels to this with the original cast. I want Eugene Thomas to make a whole series of Spencer side stories. I want Stallone to watch the way they ripped off the first Rambo movie and say, “Heyyyyyyy alight!”

This movie taught me that if I want to beat the five elements of ninja — silly me thought there were only four elements and metal was a man-made thing — and a tiger ninja, I just need to “draw strengths from your future and past and see beyond the illusion of this world.”

Then again, one of these ninjas sets his hands on fire before he punches you.

You can watch this on Tubi or download it from the Internet Archive.

*The sex scene is so long that nearly two complete songs play during it.

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