SLASHER MONTH: Prom Night (2008)

Why do I do this to myself? Like I should know that it’s a lot of pressure to try and top a hundred some slashers in a month last year, but here I am again, hunting down more bloodletting and writing about it and oh hey — let’s hope against hope that 2008’s Prom Night is decent.

And then I realized that Prom Night is not really any good and it’s only the sequels that are worth remembering (Prom Night 2: Hello Mary Lou is in my top ten slashers, in case you care).

For some reason, Nelson McCormick remade this and The Stepfather in the mid 2000s and you can use the law of inverted milk to determine freshness: the closer a slasher has been made to the day it is right now, the worse it stinks.

We didn’t need these reimaginings — one could also argue we didn’t need the original Prom Night — and yet here they are, stories that make it difficult to determine the motives, the reasons, the why and anything else that would make the killer in this film remotely interesting. You know that Black Christmas remake from 2006? The one with all the crushed black color, the modern rock and the hospital scenes? This is like that but way worse and missing the swing for the fences yellow killer.

I’d like to think that writer J. S. Cardone knew better, I mean, he made the baffling weird The Slayer, which holds up better than this, as well as Thunder Alley and 8mm2 and…alright maybe The Slayer was a fluke.

Allow me to be the cautionary tale. Don’t watch PG-13 rated slashers.

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