Formula for a Murder (1985)

Also known as 7. Hyden Park – La casa maledetta (7 Hyde Park – The Cursed House), this movie comes to us from Alberto De Martino, the man who made The AntichristStrange Shadows in an Empty RoomMiami Golem and Holocaust 2000.

David Warbeck plays Craig, who has recently married Joanna, a woman crippled by mental and physical issues. Well, she’s in a wheelchair, but still comes to him to learn fencing and archery, so she’s trying to stay active.

That said, there’s something horrible that’s happened in her past, but guess what? Something horrible is happening now too. That’s because after Craig gets that ring, he plans on killing her for her riches.

That horrifying event, by the way, was when a faceless priest tried to give our heroine a doll and then decided to take things a little too far. As he chased her, she fell down the steps and broke her back, which is why she’s in a wheelchair now. And as for the priest, he may be dead or he may be the person who is dressed in vestments and carrying the doll from her childhood.

Also: there’s a good chance that if Craig churns some butter with her, she’ll have a heart attack when her body relives the abuse. I can promise you that there was no mental health counselor or expert on this film to verify this diagnosis.

If the house that is so cursed looks familiar, that’s because Phantom of Death and Body Puzzle were both shot there. Also, if your ears hear something they have before, that’s because Francesco De Masi decided to reuse some of his theme for The New York Ripper and thought that no one would notice.

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