La Discoteca (1983)

Yes, this movie came out six years after Saturday Night Fever. Well, you know, disco didn’t die everywhere. It only died in the places where straight white people thought it was.

Also: Yes, I totally watched this because the poster is amazing.

Mariano Laurenti also directed The Inconsolable Widow Thanks All Those Who Consoled Her, a movie that I’ve told is such an ineffectual commedia sexy all’italiana that even the goddess Edwige cannot save it. He also made another Fenech film, Beautiful Antonia, First a Nun Then a Demon, which is the kind of title that makes me hunt down a movie.

This was written by Piero Regnoli, who is not made for normal films and is much better suited to scripted aberrant madness like Maciste in King Solomon’s Mines — how did Cannon not remake this genre mashup? — as well as Cry of a ProstituteA Black Ribbon for Deborah (with Gig Young, Bradford Dillman and Marina Malfatti trying to look like she’s been reading All of Them Witches), Like Rabid DogsPatrick Still LivesNightmare City and Gunan, King of the Barbarians. All of these movies would be better choices for you or you could just stare at this poster and listen to some Chic or Giorgio Moroder and have a much better evening.

If you liked Laurenti’s Un jeans e una maglietta but wanted it to be a disco movie with someone who looks like a German leader of ill standing running a hotel, well, this is for you. I mean, the dude’s name is Ghitler. That’s an example of the level of hilarity we’re dealing with here.

Nino D’Angelo, who stars in this, also sang a few songs, including one called “My Song.” He’s also obviously dance doubled by someone much shorter than he is. I mean, he needed extra money so he went to the Swiss Alps to make pizza and gets mad when people call him pizza. He is certainly not setting the floor of 2001 Odyssey ablaze any time soon.

Laurenti and D’Angelo also teamed for Uno scugnizzo a New YorkPop corn and chipsFotoromanzo and Attenti a noi due. Now that I have written this sentence, my need to complete things means that I must now endure all of these.

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