Tomb of Terror (2004)

Sure, we have a Full Moon Week coming up, but there are definitely two different ideas behind what the studio is. Are they the America Filmirage, making low budget horror that looks decent and is way better than the money spent would suggest? Or are they the studio that knocks out inferior sequel after sequel, direct to streaming digital video junk and endless repacks of the same movie?

They can be both!

“Ascent from Hell” is really 1994’s Dark Angel: The Ascent, in which Veronica Iscariot (Angela Featherstone, Linda from The Wedding Singer) gets sick of tormenting sinners in Hell and decides to punish the wicked on Earth. But hey — she falls in love with a doctor named Max Barris who tends to her injuries. This was directed by Linda Hassani, whose last movie was Bunker of Blood: Chapter 5: Psycho Sideshow: Demon Freaks.

“Infinite Evil” may be familiar as the Full Moon adaption of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Lurking Fear. That 1994 released was written and directed by C. Courtney Joyner, who directed Trancers III and wrote From a Whisper to a ScreamDoctor MordridClass of 1999Prison and Total Excess: How Carolco Changed Hollywood. It’s all about Leffert’s Corners, a place that has been plagued by unearthly beings for decades. It’s basically abandoned except for a few hearty souls like a priest and now John Martense, who is in town to put his family’s estate in order. We all know what happens to people who come to claim inheritances in horror movies. Jon Finch, who was also in Frenzy and Murder on the Nile, clashed with the director and refused to even listen to him say cut. Ironically, the worries that David Hemmings would do the same led to Finch being cast.

“Evil Never Dies” is re-cut from 1998’s Talisman, in Theriel the Black Angel is summoned from his resting place to usher in the end of the world by killing seven different people. He decides that two teens will help him, but they just may save us all. This is yet another of the many, many David DeCoteau films that I have been lured into watching. His goal was a “male version of Suspiria.” I leave it up to you to decide if he was successful, but I don’t remember the scene in Argento’s film where dudes in their tighty whities made one another do push-ups and watched from bunk beds.

I really should make a list of good Full Moon versus bad Full Moon, but who can say which is which? In the case of remixed ones like this, it gets even harder. But just imagine: how can you take a 90-minute movie, jam it into 30 and then hope to have any narrative sense? And they didn’t just do this once. They do it all the time, like some content engine that does not care at all about quality.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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