Computer Beach Party (1987)

“Toss around the floppy disc, open a bag of micro chips, and interface with a sexy comedy that will light up your terminal.”

I discovered this movie thanks to the guys from Found Footage Festival and man, this movie is one that does not understand parties or computers and even beaches. Andy and Dennis, our heroes, also play a sport that no other human before or since has ever tried called skurfing, which is what happens when you put together a surfboard, a soapbox derby car and a sail. If it seems dumb reading it, imagine how completely inane it will be in practice.

I have also learned that if you want to plan a computer beach party, all you have to do is type it into your computer. If I did not hate beaches and parties, guess what I would be doing right now?

There’s also a band called Panther in this. Their songs “Angel In Disguise,” “Breakout,” “Can’t Get Enough,” “Do You Wanna Dance,” “Drag-A-Racing,” “Loverboy’s Request,” “Love Theme,” Midnight Blue,” “Hot Rockin’ Beach Party,” “Left Me Blue,” “Roger’s Reggae,” “Smokin’,” “Stranger to Danger,” “Spikes of Love” and “Volaria” are in the movie and they also do a few of them live.

This is the kind of movie that will make you despise love, happiness, hair metal, breaking the fourth wall, beach parties, MS DOS and so much more. If you are dealing with any depression, I would avoid this movie, as well as being around any pills or sharp implements while you watch it. Much like how “Gloomy Sunday” leads to people committing suicide, I fear Computer Beach Party could have the same infernal ability.

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