Massacro (1989)

Directed by Andrea Bianchi (Burial Ground, Strip Nude for Your Killer) under the supervision of Lucio Fulci, this is all about the filming of the movie Dirty Blood, which has been infiltrated by an actual killer.

It starts off quick, with a trucker axe chopping a woman’s hand off and blood spraying everywhere. And if you’re saying, “That’s in Cat in the Brain…” so are many of the effects from this movie.

To make Dirty Blood as realistic as possible, everyone involved is called in for a seance from Madame Ullrich, but when she tries to reach her spirit guide, she only encounters evil, which comes in the form of an earthquake that knocks everyone around*. Oh yeah — and Jennifer, the lead in the movie, has a cop boyfriend who has been hunting down the killer we saw in the beginning.

Exactly how much Fulci had to do with this movie is debatable. What isn’t is that this was Bianchi’s last horror film. From here on out, he’d concentrate on adult films, mostly using the name Andrew White, including the trans triangle film Mystifying Revelation and other movies starring Cicciolina and Rocco Siffredi. He even made Fleshy Doll, one of the very adult films I can think of inspired by Oscar Wilde.

The gore is fun**, but all in all, I’d much rather see the movie they were shooting in this than the movie they actually made. Look, someday a high-end blu ray label is going to do a box set of all these presented by Fulci films and try to convince you that they have something special about them. They really don’t, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t enjoyable for lovers of bottom of the barrel and Italian genre cinema, which come to think of it, is often the same thing.

*It also takes the form of non-stop Fulci zooms, spinning cameras and the medium appearing as if she has two gigantic golf balls in her mouth. It’s a completely ludicrous and awesome scene that made me actually come around on this movie. The earthquake is so strong that it pops the cork off a bottle of champagne!

**Seriously, a girl gets murdered and left behind on a merry-go-round and the psychic woman gets impaled on a cemetery fence right through the crotch of her Macy’s slacks Cannibal Holocaust style.

You can watch this on YouTube or get the DVD from Revok.

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