Countess Dracula’s Orgy of Blood (2004)

Way back in 1897, a man named Dumas (Mark Bedell) loses his sister Roxanne (Kennedy Johnson, Tomb of the Werewolf) to the fangs of Diana Ruthven (Gloria Anne-Gilbert, who hosted a series of releases as Morella Ghost Hostess with the Mostest, including House of EvilThe Blood SeekersDisciple of DeathBlood Vision and Terror In the Crypt). Turning to Padre Jacinto (yep, Paul Naschy, in America no less), they use a cross, Holy Water, a Bible and a silver stake to take out Rebecca, Diana and her brother Lord Ruthven (Arthur Roberts, Not of This Earth), which empowers the priest to stay alive until the evil of vampires has been erased from our reality.

That’s right — Paul Naschy in his first American film and…well…it’s a soft-core porn pretty much. Now, the two vamps are after the reincarnation of their lost love — yes, they’re fine despite dying earlier — in a movie written and directed by Donald F. Glut (Tales of Frankenstein).

That’s because Count Dracula (Tony Clay, who has shown up in more than on of Glut’s movies) has sent his daughter Martine (Eyana Barsky) and thrall Renfield (Del Howiso, continuing the role from The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula, another Glut movie that has William Smith has Dracula) to pull that stake out and find the vampire’s bible.

The big issue is that the silver dagger has cursed Ruthven to never be able to drink human blood, a fact that he learns when he tries to suck the neck of a stripper named Lilith (she’s played by Lolane, who was in plenty of BDSM tease videos with great titles like Criminals Who Use Cholorform!). His sister has none of these worries, so she soon seduces the very same exotic dancer. All manner of sibling rivalry and sapphic shenanigans ensue.

Imagine a sub-par VCA vampire film — at least Ejacula has Lois Ayres, Patricia Kennedy and Rocco Siffredi in it — without the actual penetration and you have this. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that a vampire sex movie would be so boring, which is either me growing up — no, I screamed like a maniac every time Naschy was on screen, all eight minutes worth — and more that this is not a good movie.

If you want to see a much better Naschy vampire movie, check out Count Dracula’s Great Love.

PS: To further throw in some adult film references, Belinda Gavin is in this. She’s better known as Kylie Wyote in X-rated movies. There’s also a girl named Bella Donna who plays a hooker, but she is not Michelle Anne Sinclair, which would be amazing to have her in the same movie as Count Waldemar Daninsky.

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